


H. O. T. (Will it be Heads or Tails?)

by heartykeykeke



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band), nuest
Genre: Daniel is perfect boyfriend material, M/M, Mystery, OngNiel is science, Possible Character Death, Rewrite, Sort of a Love Triangle, Supernatural - Freeform, Very Mature, Will have angst, can be smutty or can be fluff depending on which Seongwoo Dan's seeing, i have terrible Ong feels, nerdy seongwoo, not DID, ongnielisscience, read wit care, reupload, romance angst au supernatural, scientists - Freeform, sexy seongwoo, sort of like webtoon lookism, taken from my aff account, this story will leave you on your toes and guessing, you will scream you will laugh you will gasp and you will squeal and you will cringe, you've never seen Ong written like these guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-04-05 13:29:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 104,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14045268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartykeykeke/pseuds/heartykeykeke
Summary: Kang Daniel is a college student studying Psychology. He fails a big test and gets assigned a tutor, an older assistant who is about to graduate in Psychology. This nameless guy is the epitome of Daniel's type--extremely shy, cute, quiet, quick to blush, gorgeous and a complete nerd. He falls harder and harder the more he gets to know him and opens up. The other guy in Daniel's life is who he thinks of as his tutor's twin brother. This guy he meets at a club and his personality, demeaner, and style is vastly different. He is a wild child who always dresses up to the nines and wears mostly black. He is obnoxious, cocky, rude and downright offensive. They have a lot in common with how they like to drink and dance and joke around, occasionally fooling around here and there, but despite the sexual tension between them, Daniel claims to hate his guts.Daniel gets entangled in their secrets. Learning these two are tied in a very magical, strange sort of way. He will also learn he has the power to decide their fate which is an issue because he cannot have both of them but he doesn't want to lose either of them either. The mystery unfolds. Will the coin end up as heads(nerdy Seongwoo) or will it be tails(sexy bad boy Ong)?





	1. Will it be tails?

I wondered why each coin had a heads and a tails, as we called it. My eyes followed the silver coin flipping in the air. It landed on the back of my hand. Tails this time. I slipped it off and snapped the cool metal piece between my fingers. It made a pretty cool, blurry shape as it spun rapidly up to the cieling and flew straight back down, ceasing its spinning for the most part on its way down.

I was lost in thought about why it wasn't called something else, something more fitting. Our coins didn't have people or animals on them.

"Why heads or tails? They couldn't have called it..." I muttered as I drifted off, thinking of what other things I could call the two sides of a coin.

I was snapped out of my philosophical thoughts when my friend Jisung caught the coin in the air. "Niel, focus! The teacher was glaring at you again. He called your name twice, then he shook his head and wrote something on the attendance sheet. He looked pissed this time."

I grinned, sitting up properly. I had put my feet up on the desk in front of me, making the chair recline, which was much more comfortable than the proper way everyone else sat. I wondered why they acted like he were in high school. We were adults and this was college. These professors had no power or control over us. They couldn't punish us or just dock our grade way down for not 'following class conduct suggestions.' Not rules, suggestions people.

"He's always pissed. He's got ancient chalk pieces stuffed up his ass, that dinosaur. When is he going to retire? Two classes with him is enough. What's he going to do anyway? Call my parents and ask they take me out of school? This is a whole different world, Jisung. Professors don't have power here." 

He got up and Jisung was alarmed. The teacher was still lecturing. "Where are you going? Sit down, you idiot!" He hissed.

I ignored him and brushed off his hand. My eyes met my friends Minhyun and Jaehwan who had to sit apart because they had arrived late, probably fighting about their differences in opinion about how clean their dorm room should be. They gave me and the teacher an anxious look. I put a finger over my mouth and winked. They appeared amused and impressed by my galor. What was the big deal? We weren't in prison. I was an adult. The teacher had no power or right to stop me. I was going out when I wanted to, as per usual. The dinosaur didn't control or frighten me.

"Kang Daniel, we are in the middle of an exam review. Are you that confident you know everything that you are okay with missing this?" The professor stopped me just as I had reached the door with a disapproving voice, tapping his chalk with irritation on the blackboard. 

I turned on my charm, making a pained, pleading face and squeezing my thighs, pressing my hands over my package. "Sir, I'm about to make the second Niagra Falls here. I need the little boy's room. It's urgent."

I blinked my eyes several times sweetly. Boys cracked up laughing. Girls giggled and blushed. Many people shook their heads, whispering or merely thinking 'here we go again, typical Daniel.' As usual, the old man sighed, not calling me out on my excuse which the entire room was pretty positive was a lie. I snuck out and did a minute or two of happy dancing down the hallway. 

College was nice because of friends, parties, the dorms and the food but man were lessons a suicide inducing drag. I couldn't give a rat's ass about the exam. It was curved anyway and no one ever got a hundred percent. Well, my genius, nerdy friend Minhyun could but he didn't because others in the class would be furious at getting their C turned into a D. I would be one of them.

I went outside, playing with the coin in one hand, a packet of cigarettes I took from my pocket in another. I went around to the back of the building to smoke.

"Hmm, that's good. I'll quit tomorrow."

Which is what I said every day recently.

I took a deep drag, held it, and blew smoke rings, amusing myself and laughing at nothing. I was quick to bore and quick to amuse and I was known for being a happy virus and social butterfly. I knew everyone that was worth knowing around campus, everyone liked me, I was almost always laughing and joking around. I hated taking life seriously. My high school days were stressful enough.

I worked hard back then to get into the college my parents wanted me to go to. Then, the last year I had caught that freshman fever and become a loose cannon, completely letting my inhibitions take over. I loved being an adult. I loved that I didn't have to report back to my parents. They would forgive me for my grades since it was just my first year and they were not fail worthy at least. The vices, on the other hand, they would throw a fit and flash disappointed looks if they knew about. I really liked cigarettes and alcohol, especially if you combined those with hot girls and a club scene. Speaking of...

"Sungwoon hyung!" I called as I spotted my close hyung passing out flyers.

I was pretty sure it was a party or some club event. Sungwoon was well-known around campus for gathering students for a good time. I had gone to several functions he had advertised around the school grounds and had always had a blast. Well, from the majority of the moments I recalled around the blackouts anyway.

"Give me a hit," Sungwoon said, it being a command more than a request.

I smirked, running my hands over my sexy hyung's back, handing over the cigarette. Sungwoon smirked as we made flirty eye contact. My mind went to a drunken make out session I vaguely recalled in some random party house bathroom a couple months ago. I recalled Sungwoon had some seriously plump lips and he was a biter. 

Sungwoon lingered longer than he should on my cigarette, lust filling his eyes as he stared at me. My jeans tightened and I licked my lips in response. Since I had kissed a few guys in a drunken stooper in my life, including him, I didn't care about his saliva or the direct pass. I didn't respond to that though. I wasn't drunk and Sungwoon wasn't my type. I preferred waify, nerdy types, when it came to guys or girls. Someone sweet, shy, and smaller than me I wanted to fit in my pocket and ravish until they fell apart under me at the same time. Someone like...hmm, Daehwi? Yeah, Daehwi was exactly my type. Jaehwan's little brother. But he was underaged so he was off limits, at least for a few more years. Thinking of underaged hotties, I recalled a picture Minhyun had shown of his younger brother. Jinyoung, was it? I wondered how old he was...

I liked drunkenly kissing those kind of easy guys, but I didn't really want to spend my time with them outside of that. I preferred my friends as well as my lovers to be more demure, shy, polite, and at least play at hard to get. Ironic with the way I was, but, hey I made out, not fucked them at least. I only had sex with official lovers and there hadn't been that many, at least not compared to the rest of the people.

"Come to this club. It's the hottest place now."

Sungwoon winked at me, handed me a flier, took another hit which I glared and cursed at him for, then left. I put the cigarette in my mouth, tongue flicking at the edge to get a taste. Minty. Sungwoon must have been sucking on a breath mint. Yum.

I looked at the information printed on the colorful paper. The pictures of people drinking and dancing enticed me. Hell, the only thing I had to do was study. If I stayed in the dorms with Jisung I would just play games while he nagged at me to study. Might as well have some fun and blow off some steam. That professor was kind of pissing me off anyway. I needed a mood change. 

 

 

"Woah, this place is poppin."

I grimanced and bumped him with my hip. "Ew, don't say that. You're too old."

Jisung pouted and smacked my arm. I scowled and swiped his hand away, warning him about the jacket. I was wearing my favorite leather jacket, paired with ripped jeans and a low cut T-shirt baring my silver cross necklace that matched my dangling earrings. Like I usually bothered with only when I went dancing, I parted my hair at the side and slicked it up in a cool wave, exposing my forehead.

"Why do you always dress up? Everyone else is pretty casual." 

I smirked. "Isn't that obvious? To stand out among them. I've already got a group of onlookers ready to dance with me if I offer my hand, don't you see? This way I don't need to bother flirting and making small talk. Get me a beer. Be back at the end of the song. Hope you actually get lucky today. Don't be so shy and just make the first move for once. Laters~ " I absently waved, eyes on a short, blushing girl with glasses that was giving me interested, demure side glances.

I liked her preppy look and pigtails with the button-up shirt, sweater vest and pencil skirt to her kness. It made her stand out like a naughty nerdy school girl compared to other girls who were showing off their bodies with skimpy dresses. I didn't go for the desperate, slutty types unless I was truly wasted. They just weren't fun because they didn't present any mystery or challenge.

"Hi." I said just the one word, promise and interest clear on my voice with a friendly smile. 

It was key with these sort of girls not to seem like a creep and not to start off by touching.

"Hi~" she responded in a breathy tone as if I made her stop breathing normally, her cheeks reddening, her eyes drifting down in a shy manner. 

She was fidgeting with the edge of her sweater, nervous. I kept smiling, knowing she was into me already. I had a pretty face and seemed like a good guy, so of course she was.

"Dance? Or drink?" 

I gestured my hand to the floor and then the bar, keeping my tone casual and light. She put her hand in mine. Oh, not as shy as she seemed then. That pleased me.

"Dance," she said, sounding rather eager, biting her lip.

Hmm, so she was turned on already? I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Maybe she was actually the slutty sort in disguise. I would have to test it out by seeing how she danced. People were like a coin, they could be both heads or both tails or double. I was more interested in finding that sort of thing out than anything my classes offered, which was why I enjoyed parties, meeting new people I could research on. It was more common that people were same sided, they didn't surprise me, they usually turned out how I expected, especially women. But you never know. Maybe I can find someone interesting tonight, someone what that would keep my interest longer than others, someone not so predictable. A heads or tails person, as I liked to call it. 

I danced with the girl but only for one song. She wasn't as interesting as I thought. She didn't play hard to get or act demure. Her disguise was just that, a teasing, disappointing act. She was all over me which I didn't appreciate without some liquid incentive. I decided to look around for a new research subject but not before I charmed her into a drink. I never paid for drinks at these places, it was a rule of mine. I pecked her cheek, telling her I would come visit her later.

 

 

I went to Jisung who was looking rather bored at the bar, waiting for me with my favorite beer. Yes, I loved beer much better than fruity cocktails. It was bitter, manly, didn't make you woozy or your stomach turn. I greedily gulped down half the bottle, thumping him on the back.

Then, I spoke loud to be heard over the pop music that was playing. "Why the glum face? I will help you if you're not going to hunt. Let's find you a looker." 

I scanned the room for my gay friend with very particular tastes. The bartender just might do. He was pretty masculine and jerky looking. No idea why that was his type. It was like Jisung liked asking for his heart to be broken. 

Jisung followed my eyes and flushed. "No, I can't possibly, Niel, don't you dare, he's..."

"He's not out of your league. No one is. Stop being insecure. I told you a million times you're not ugly at all. So what if your nose is bigger than average? The rest of you is perfect. Seriously, if you were just a bit less naggy, had aegyo, and wore glasses, I would have attacked you already and we wouldn't be just roomies, believe me."

Then, blatantly ignoring his warnings and smarting smacks on my thigh, I called the bartender over. I introduced ourselves, then started casually chatting with him. Luckily, he wasn't the sort of mysterious guy that replied with clip answers. He was talkative, full of smiles, and open. His name was Dongho. Once I had ensured that Jisung and the bartender were on their way with a stable casual conversation, I let them be to work things out themselves. I could only start things, the end game wasn't up to me. I hoped it worked out. Jisung had been mopey since his last affair fell through and I found mopiness quite annoying. 

I walked around the dance floor, nursing the last few inches of my beer, scanning for my next target. Who looked interesting? Several girls and a few guys looked at me with interest and smiled invitingly, but I quickly crossed them off my list. They either looked too slutty, too plain, or too drunk.

"DJ Guanlin with you tonight. Shout out to my buddies. They're young, part of the dance crew, just here to entertain." 

I looked up at the suddenly spotlit stage. The DJ was that super tall, natural thin, handsome foreigner I had seen at a few clubs and one party. He was wearing red Beat 6 head phones, one hanging behind his ear as he bobbed his head to the new beat as he scratched the records. I always thought he had a great smile and cute accent. Why haven't I gone for him? He looks like he could be nerdy if he put on glasses...

Then, my eyes drifted to the two guys popping like crazy on the stage like there was some sort of current flowing through their body. They were attractive too, great dancers, not nerdy at all. I admired their skills. I was in a b-boy crew, a bit different than a dancing crew. I overheard some people chatting. The really great dancer was Woojin. The cute guy that could wink like nobody's business was Jihoon. 

The boys stopped after two more songs and asked if anyone was willing to come up for an impromptu dance battle. I was tempted. I hadn't had much to drink yet. I could do it. But if I did it, more people would notice me. Girls would later crowd me, the noisy, clingy, overly flirtatious kind I couldn't stand more than likely, their panties soaked from witnessing my stellar moves. I chewed on my plump, strawberry tinted glossed lip as I debated.

A tall, skinny guy was the first to jump up. He didn't say anything but apparently he had fans. Girls crowded the stage and went wild. He smirked, changing the dynamic of his actor like face. They squealed. He started popping. He was expert at it. I raised my eyebrow, studying his maneuvers. His sharpness and attention to detail impressed me as he didn't look like a dancer. I had never seen someone pop to the literal joints of their fingers and ankles. How did he move like that? He must have been learning popping and locking with a crew for years.

I shook my head, muttering, "Overkill much," as he ended with blowing a kiss at the perfect timing of the very last beat of the song. I wondered if he planned that or if his sense of rhythm was on the level of genius.

Now I had to go up. I felt challenged. I don't know why. Probably no one even knew me here, they weren't only students from the same college anyway. I just didn't like that arrogant, obnoxious, greasy looking guy(literally he seemed to have used half a jar of wax to curl and spike his Chestnut hair) beating me in what I did best.

I jumped up on stage with a huge grin, waving and being my charming, cute, bubbly self. I got the crowd going by introducing myself and pushing them to make some noise. A song I knew well came on. I flashed a thankful smile at Guanlin, giving him a thumbs up. He nodded and smirked, looking cool for his clearly young age. He remembered me. We had collaborated at a few other impromptu club performances and he had seen me with my crew once at a school event.

I basked and relished in the spotlight, drawing energy and encouragement from the cheers, whoops, and impressed claps. I tried not to form a smile, putting on airs, acting cool and confident, making myself appear invincible and sexy. I flew, flipped, and spun fire on that stage like I had never done. I ended with a perfect triple black flip, off the stage. Then, I walked off, cool and breezy as if high level b-boy moves were just my daily warm up routine.

I was surrounded by people in an instant. I high fived, greeted, thanked, and winked at them, flashing my signature, billion dollar puppy grin that could win me the hearts of almost anyone I chose. God, did I love being the center of attention. Just as much as I loved taking it away from arrogant pricks like him.

Although compared to the usual club regulars with fan clubs they fooled around with, at least this guy I could admit had something to back it up. He was a hell of a popper and he was freakishly well proportioned with a face I could picture being on TV. Certainly not the nerdy type and much too full of himself for me. I got irritated by guys who were handsome and talented when they clearly knew it and tried to show it off.  I preferred attractive people who knew how to stay humble.

I smirked with pride as I looked over to where he had alighted, expecting the brunette to be sneering or glaring at me. Instead I was met with a look of amusement and interest, like he appreciated my ballsy move and grudgingly admired my skills. Sorry, not my type bud, fool around with your squealing posse of slutty fan girls. I would rather not meet you unless it's in a dance off.

I turned away from him, sensing he was disappointed and intrigued by how I had clearly ignored him. I bet that he wasn't used to that at all with that face and killer smile of his. But I could see right through him. That guy was a tails-tails kind of guy, bad through and through, and it would be a waste of my time to deal with him.

I started chatting with the girls surrounding me then, hunting for a suitable research subject. Three promising specimens with short, black hair and they were luckily in a group. I approached them with a beaming smile and suggested a round of shots.

 

 

An hour later, I was very comfortably buzzed. The girls were wasted, giggling, fighting over who would dance with me next. I told them I could juggle them all. They took it as if I was suggesting a three-way. I didn't do that sort of thing, but I wiggled my eyes and licked my lips, letting their imaginations run wild. I just thought they looked pretty with that blush on their faces.

I stole some guy's glasses and put it on the cutest looking girl, deeming her my queen for the rest of the night. She fell over her friends with giggles. They pouted and squeezed my arms, pushing their breasts temptingly at my sides. They whined at not being chosen and it not being fair. I apologized by kissing them on the cheeks. They let me take the next three shots off their bodies, one from her chest.

I was getting beyond buzzed, feeling the music. I took my queen to the dance floor. She was really small and slender. She fit nice in my arms as we danced back to front. She let me caress her thighs, kiss and suck on her neck, and grind into her pert ass although I maintained my gentleman mode not to go beyond that. Hmm, this girl might do the trick. She didn't seem as boring as others but then I was too drunk and horny now to have a proper conversation to test that out.

I asked for her number. She shouted that she couldn't hear me. I spoke right into her ear nice and loud, sensing her shiver as my lips brushed the side. Then she told me she was too drunk to recall and she didn't know where her phone was. I considered it a lost opportunity. She didn't go to my school anyway, she was older. I wouldn't see her again. I wondered if I should take her to a hotel, but then I reminded myself I didn't do that. It would make me feel like a sleeze tomorrow and she could have diseases. Club girls were not the best idea. 

I sighed and pushed her away. She turned to me with a cute pout, calling me Oppa, funnily enough. She tried to seduce me not to go but I told her I had a test tomorrow. I gave her a chaste kiss and thumbed her thin waist, cursing the lost opportunity already. I played the gentleman, not taking her offer as she pressed her chest to mine and parted her lips. I merely smiled in a breezy way and left, thanking the lord that I wasn't drunk enough to commit a mistake yet.

The girls here were getting too drunk now it was near midnight. If I didn't get some water and fresh air to clear my head, I was going to end up regretting my actions tomorrow waking up with a stranger. I got some water from the bar and slipped outside for a cigarette. I sat on the bench and lit up. Then, I turned my head when I heard some giggling.

The guy from earlier was with a slutty looking girl with tattooed ankles, stilettos, a leather miniskirt and a leopard print, plunging cut off top. She was slender, fit, and tan, the sort of pretty but obviously easy girl that worked as a bar girl or a hostess. He was whispering something in her ear with a naughty smile, twirling her hair around his finger. He had her pinned and crowded to the wall, just a few centimeters of space between their bodies. She giggled, her finger nails clutching his black T-shirt. She flushed and bit her lip, closing her eyes, looking like she was about to moan. I figured he must be saying all the naughty things he would to her if he could take her to a hotel.

I curiously watched them as I took slow drags on my cigarette. From what I knew of people, I could tell many things from that minute of observtion. For example, that he was used to doing this, it was his routine, he was an expert at this game. Second, he wasn't that into her or he would be making out or touching her body at least. I guessed she was either the most buzzed not too drunk of the group he had earlier or that he found her exotic looks worth a try. I wouldn't hit that with a ten foot pole, but I could see the appeal to most normal guys.

He ordered her to get her coat so they could get going, I assumed, then leered at her ass as she walked away with a wolfish grin. Lucky him, getting laid tonight.

I stamped out my cigarette and straightened my jacket. As I was about to go in, I felt a tug at my arm. Shit, he recognized me. I hadn't moved fast enough.

"Hey, you're that guy who b-boyed on the stage earlier, right? Nice moves!"

He offered his hand and flashed a rather pretty smile that was a lot more friendly--and attractive--than I expected. His eyes were almond shaped, dark, long lashed and sparkling with life and humor. He was bubbly and outgoing. I hadn't expected him to be friendly, not with a rival. 

I shook his hand firmly. He didn't let it go. My hand felt hot and tingly, uncomfortable and yet not so. His touch was... interesting in a nice way. I put on a fake bright smile, hiding the fact that I had been avoiding bumping into him all night since he seemed like a jerk I really didn't want to associate with.

"I saw your moves too. Impressive. You with a crew? How long?" I asked in a breezy, casual fashion, it not being in my nature to br rude.

"Yeah, I dabble with my crew from time to time. It's been three years now."

"It shows. Very talented crew you found."

He smiled wider at my compliment, squeezing my hand. Then, he brushed his thumb along mine. My cock twitched. Well, that was sure soft. I noticed his hands were nimble, long, and very pale. I shook off the image of them on stroking my tan abdominals quickly.

If this were a movie he would be a glistening vampire. I realized then that he was interested in me. Touching me, leaning in so I was backed into a wall, he was trying to seduce me just like he had the girl a minute ago. He must have not been that into the girl because she wasn't his usual go to menu option for sating his young blood appetite.

I was flattered, if him being more gay on the sexual orientation scale was true. He was honestly very hot, especially up close. Rather breath taking, in fact, especially that smile. But there was still something about him that bothered me as we chatted about the passion for dance we shared for several minutes. It was the confidence and sense of sureness he had, like he had me in the bag, like he had me all figured out, like he was god's gift to mankind. That lack of humbleness irked me. He also kept cracking dirty jokes, as if he wasn't used to being serious, flashing a devilish smirk that was quite hot and tempting.

"Do you come here regularly?" I asked, steering the conversation away from innuendos, or trying to.

"It's a spot I hit if I'm in the mood for drunk, hot, older chicks sure. You?"

"First time."

"To the club or coming across hot chicks?" He teased.

"To come here. I'm familiar with chicks."

"Are you? Here you look like you wouldn't be. Why don't you join me and some girls tonight then? It's hard to handle them with just myself. More fun playing with a partner in crime."

"Sharing isn't my scene."

"Ah, uptight? Possessive?"

"Just not that kinky."

"You're missing out then. Maybe you're just too young."

I raised my eyebrow and straightened my shoulders. I wasn't young. I didn't appreciate him treating me like a child. "I'm twenty-three. Not young."

"Ah, call me hyung then. I'm a year older."

"Don't really want to. I have a thing about calling people that." I was curious about his name but he was reluctant to give much information about himself, only asking me questions like a rapid-fire machine gun. 

"Suit yourself. You can just call me 'that hot guy who's awesome at dancing and I wouldn't mind losing my butt virginity to.'"

I matched his wicked smirk. "Rather rude of you to suggest, but I don't have any virginity whatsoever."

"Hmm, interesting. I thought you weren't kinky."

"Tried it, didn't like it, end of story."

He cocked his head and licked his lip, eyes flashing with amusement and yet another question that popped in his mind. "Butt sex or group sex?"

I almost choked, surprised at his words. "The later."

"Maybe you weren't with the right people then. Try it with me. I bet our chemistry will be good with the right music to work to. Both dancers, flexible, attractive. What do you say? Wild night out with a new friend?"

Not sure I want to be your friend, you seem kind of like a sleeze ball. And I don't want to touch a ton of drunk strangers who have been god knows where. 

I smiled, my typical breezy smile. I didn't really like his company, but I wasn't going to be rude when he was simply offering. "Sorry, maybe raincheck. I have a test tomorrow."

"Ah, studious type? Wouldn't have guessed." His pretty eyes flashed, like he could tell I was lying but didn't call me out on it. He was smirking again, tempting me to kiss that look right off his ridiculously handsome face.

"I'm not. That's why I'm at the bottom of the class. So, I should get to my dorm and pull an all nighter."

"Hmm."

Why was that single sound grating on my nerves and sexually attractive at the same time? The guy did it a lot, making deep sounds with his throat. It made my cock twitched and my skin heat. 

He leaned closer to me, his fingers intertwined with mine. "You should come here again."

"Maybe. It's an alright spot."

"Just alright, huh?" He seemed like he was challenging me, believing that I liked it more than I was letting on because of his appearance. He was really quite palm twitchingly arrogant.

My smile turned to a smirk. "Yeah, it was alright. You should get on with your kinky fuckery before those girls get drunker and take off with someone else."

He seemed reluctant to go, as if he had forgotten about his plans and was tempted to stay right there. I took my hand out of his and opened the door, letting him know that that wasn't going to be an option because our conversation was through.

"Yeah. See you around." 

Not if I can help it.

 

 

As we split up inside, Jisung spotted me. He was flushed from a solid buzz and his eyes twinkled as if he had been having a great time. I felt irritated, when I should have felt happy he hit things off with a guy. Why just him? I came all the way out here to improve my mood and I was leaving in an even worse one, without any potential lovers.

Jisung nagged me about where I had been and then why had I been outside so long. I told him that some irritating, stuck up, good-looking  guy who thought he owned the world had forced me to converse. I left the hand holding and invitation to hard core fool around out because he would either overreact or encourage me to go after him depending on how drunk he was. 

Jisung sloppily grinned and slurred, "How good looking are we talking?"

We had a scale for this: movie actor level, idol level, CEO level, young professor level, beach bum level, and boy next door level.

"Movie actor level," I replied grudgingly as I recalled that handsome yet pretty face much too close in front of me for an extended period of time, scowling at Jisung not to comment further on it. I didn't want to talk about that guy.

He smacked my arm. "No way. Show me!" He demanded.

I nodded in his direction and explained what he was wearing, all black with ripped skinny jeans. He was with a group of four clearly drunk girls, his arms around the two in mini skirts and fur coats. They stumbled, laughing out the front door of the club. Wow, he hadn't been joking about too much to handle. Was it possible for one guy to take on four horny, inebriated chicks? I wasn't sure if I was more disgusted or impressed. Just like I expected, he really was a lecher, just one with a deceptively sweet and innocent looking face.

"Wow, he's a total hottie. I wish I had your luck."

"No, you don't. Our conversation wasn't pleasant. He's bad news. Stay away from that type. What is it with you and bad guys? You should really stop pursuing the wrong kind of men."

Jisung suddenly hugged me with a flattered grin. "I like it when you're bossy and protective. That's quite an attractive trait you don't show enough. Always being just Mr. Breezy go with the flow. Find me a guy as cool, nice, cute, funny and gentlemanly as you. With tats, piercings and a sweet smile. That should be good enough."

I ruffled his hair affectionately and chuckled despite I felt irritated he was taking my honest advice as a joke. "Sorry, but a perfect, all-around package guy like me is one of a kind. Let's go home. I think we both had enough fun tonight. We have a test to study for all night." 

Jisung gasped and smacked my chest. I sighed but gave up this time about the 'no touchy the leather' lecture. 

"I forgot! How could I have let you talk me into this? You swore just one hour! We're going to bomb it!"

I reassured him, "No, we won't. We have Minhyun's notes and study guide. We just don't sleep and memorize it like crazy and we can pull off a decent grade like usual."

"You better. If you get a low grade this time, the teacher is going to punish you seriously."

"No power," I reminded him as we left the club. 


	2. Will it be heads?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter we met bad boy Ong. Now we meet nerdy Seongwoo. Daniel doesn't know their names though. He will be falling head over heels for this glassed, messy haired, super shy, intelligent, oversized sweater doned man.

"Morning!"

"Hello hotstuffs!"

I grumbled, scrunching up my face as a much too bubbly 'MinHwan' combo sat in the desks in front of mine and Jisung's.

"You are way too chipper for me to stomach. Stop before I punch you."

I yawned then, sounding like a lion with my mouth wide open as could be, and laid my head in my hooded sweater. I had taken it off because the dinosaur had the heater cranked up too high because the weather dropped below twenty for the first time. Oh, god forbid, I had thought with dripping sarcasm. It was unbearable. Since I had a higher than average amount of natural heat, I hated high temperatures. I never used heaters unless the temperature dropped below -5. I hated the geezer even more for ruining this perfect, mild, comfortable weather that was a relief after the torture of the summer. Korea felt as muggy and suffocating as the tropics.

Jaehwan pat my hair and laughed, a hint of his psycho coming out which further irritated me as it grated against my ears.

"Someone woke up this sleeping beauty on the wrong side of the bed, it seems. What's wrong, Goldilocks, you slept on a pea?"

"You have no idea that you just mixed three different fairy tales do you? Idiot," I hummed.

"Did I?" He turned to Minhyun for confirmation as he did about almost anything.

Minhyun smiled at him and pet his head in a sweet, comforting way. "It doesn't matter," he lied so as not to hurt the other's feelings by embarassing him about his own ignorance.

They must not have had a fight yet today. Minhyun was always like that, trying to make it up for being naggy and difficult the next moment after he had cooled down.

"We pulled an all-nighter," Jisung explained, sucking at the last of his coffee.

It was his annoying habit to slurp and slurp the straw noisily until every drop was gone. I was in a terrible mood and sleep deprived. I had absolutely no patience for that. I sent him a glare with one eye and took the cup, tossing it smoothly into the trash a meter to my right. They whistled with appreciation, complimenting me on my athletic skills. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm good at everything, but your flattery isn't going to do the trick today. Usually I was bubbly and smiley but if I didn't get sleep, I had a test, and an uneventful night despite I went out for a good time, it was definitely not possible.

"I thought you were going to study all day yesterday?" Minhyun asked Jisung.

"I was. But then Daniel drug me to a club. That's what happened. I had planned to stay for just an hour, you know until he got wasted and forgot that I existed as usual, but I got distracted by a cute bartender. Daniel here disappeared. I totally lost track of time because of that. I think he was off drunkenly making out with some hot older guy."

"I was just talking to him, against my will. There was no lip action and never did I want there to be. He isn't my type," I insisted, my voice muffled slightly by the fabric, taking out some of the threatening, displeased edge.

Jisung shook his head and smirked, still looking quite attractive despite his dark circles. I envied that. I currently looked a mess, like a person who had been living on the streets and just stepped out of a wanted poster. But that was my usual look after a night out or if I was playing online games, so people rarely commented on it anymore.

"Niel, that kind of guy is everyone's type, straight or gay or between. He is a supernatural, fourth dimension level of hot and that's just my observation from a distance. Why won't you talk about your actual close-up encounter, hmm? You refused to speak up even a peep about it. That shows enough that he got under your skin, in my opinion. You were drunk too. I know how you get horny and touchy with guys when you're drunk. Something must have happened."

"Shut up, hyung. I don't want to talk about it. That guy was hot yes, okay, I can admit that in a strictly objective way. But he pissed me off. He's arrogant and obnoxious, clearly promiscuous and flirtatious. I didn't kiss him although he was coming on to me because then he would misunderstand. I don't want to meet him again. Now I'm extremely tired and cranky. I suggest we drop it. You can tell about your romantic encounter that actually ended happily."

I said my piece with a firm, huffy tone and then laid my head down to take a short nap. Because of Jisung's comment, I was assaulted by that irritatingly handsome, almost always haughtily smirking face in my dreams.

 

 

The tall, pale, all-in-black brunette was in the back of the club with three girls kissing and touching him, acting like he was a king. His eyes went to me, enticing me and suggesting I come play. I told him that I wanted nothing to do with that mess. He teased that I was jealous and a coward. 

One girl came to me and clung to me, calling me hot. I made out with her while the brunette watched with a wicked, pleased grin. The two girls were sucking on his neck as he kneeded their butts, eyes trained on me, asking me to try it with him.

The girls suggested it as well then. They wanted to see us kiss just once. The guy came over and crashed his face to mine without warning or giving me a chance to refuse. Woah. It was the hottest kiss I had ever had. Before I knew it, I had him pinned to the wall, our hands harshly groping, our tongues fighting fiercely for dominance, inciting the most intense pleasure. I knew what I was doing was a terrible idea but I didn't stop, or couldn't somehow. It was too amazing, addicting. Our chemistry was as he had suggested earlier--it exploded off the charts.

The girls giggled as they watched us lose ourselves in drunken passion. Then, they decided to leave us alone and find some guys who were straighter to play with.

 

 

I woke with a start. Jisung was shaking me. I was back in the classroom. The test was about to start. Me and my friends shared encouraging words and tried not to appear nervous, but we all hated tests. College tests were comprehensive, covered way too much material at one time, and were usually made to be tricky so there was no obvious answer and you ended up overthinking yourself to a wrong answer.

Which was one reason I barely studied for them. My confidence about my intelligence I had built up through my primary school years would crumble if I tried hard and the result wasn't significantly different. The fault was really with the teachers who made the tests. They were unfair, cruel and they expected too much from us.

I tried to focus but it was hard with images of me kissing a hot guy floating to my mind every other minute. I couldn't decide what was more frustrating to me, his smirking face or my attraction to him despite he wasn't at all my type or these pesky multiple-choice questions. I went through all the questions on the paper without picking up my pencil. I couldn't guess at half the answers as I couldn't recall the most important vocabulary. I sighed, went to the beginning and went through everything once more, slowly. I first answered what I thought I knew. Then I leaned my head on the desk and went through one by one, going 'coca cola is yummy' to choose an answer by random on the ones I had no clue about.

I got bored while doing that, my eyes started drifting, and then before I knew it, everyone was going up to give their papers to the teacher and the bell was ringing. I stretched, wiped the drool off my face, and followed along with my test paper. I smiled as I handed it to the dinosaur professor, who was giving me a stern, exasperated look like he wanted to scold me for sleeping on the test time but felt like it was a waste of his breath. I smiled wider and sweeter.

Finally, he got it. No scolding was going to change me, the other teachers besides him didn't bother with me anymore. They were amused and fond of me despite my sleeping, distractions, sneaking out of class and low grades. He was the only one that failed to fall for my charms and was determined to whip me into shape.

He sighed deeply, then tapped at the paper, snapping grumpily, "Look here, Daniel Kang. This is exactly what I told you to be careful of from last time AND reminded the class at least five times."

I looked where he was flicking his finger, acting cutely surprised. I hadn't written my name.

"Oops! Sorry, Sir!" I said very formal, instilling fake aegyo to hopefully curb some of his irritation.

I couldn't afford to have him dock me on the bonus points or decide to not curve the test this time to really teach me a lesson and put me in jeopardy of retaking this course, which was a major course. I continued to apologize as I took the pencil out of my bag and quickly jotted down my name with a little skateboard at the bottom. Oh, shoot, that's right, he hated when I used my signature instead of writing in print. 

He shook his head and waved me off, his thin lips in a stern line. "Come to my office after your classes are done. I will check your test first and seeing as you didn't answer much of it since you fell asleep out of sheer boredom or because you crammed when I specifically said not to, I am sure we will have several things to discuss. Later then, Daniel."

I groaned but bowed politely and promised I would go there.

"Shit, I really bombed that this time..." I muttered, biting my lip and tugging at my hair as I followed my friends out.

They gave me sympathetic looks, though Jisung appeared to be fighting not to say 'I told you so' and reprimand me for the millionth time for suggesting we go clubbing on a school night. He didn't need to say that. I was already hating myself for it. What made matters worse is that they all felt like they had done just fine, even Jisung, making me feel like just my brain was hopeless at last-minute memorizing.

"Ugh..." I tussled my hair wildly in frustration.

They chuckled, teasing me about how I always commented about teachers having no power yet here I was panicking at the idea of a punishment, my first one too. I realized I wasn't looking very cool. I smoothed my hair and put on my breezy smile, swallowing my anxiety to deal with later, and suggested we go eat at the cafeteria. We had an hour break today at the same time luckily so we usually ate together. They agreed with comforting smiles. They were going to stick by me to keep me calm.

 Jaehwan rubbed my shoulders and Jisung took out some gunk from my eyes which earned a look of appall from Minhyun, who hated touching or seeing bodily fluids even more than dust and fallen hairs. I flashed them a charming smile of appreciation. They said I was cute and lovable, taking turns to pinch my fatty cheeks.

 

 

During lunch, Jisung filled me in on what happened with the bartender last night since I had been sleeping earlier. Apparently, bartender Dongho was a part time bartender and driver while he was taking lessons to be a motocross racer. He had several bikes that he had promised to take Jisung out on. He was apparently rather rich but did part-time jobs because he was bored and a recovering--get this--drug addict. Staying busy kept control of the cravings and since he liked his jobs, he was worried about losing them which was an extra incentive. Well, soon he would have a third incentive not to fall back into his dark ways as Jisung didn't approve of drugs.

They had hit off nicely, I was happy to hear, having similar interests in movies and music as well as sense of humor. They were going to meet over the weekend.  I was a little bit uncomfortable with the idea because he was a recovering addict, but I held my tongue as I did. At least until they did something to hurt my friend. I did try to give people the benefit of the doubt, my studies teaching me that my initial judgement of people could be wrong.

"Yay, that means games all day for me!" I cheered and did a celebratory dance that made my friends laugh no matter how many times I did my signature dorky moves.

"Maybe, if you're not doing community service or dusting the teacher's bookshelves."

I gasped and held my temples in horror, recalling my upcoming scolding and yet to be revealed punishment.

Jaehwan hugged me and rested his head on my shoulder. "It was nice knowing you, Nielie. I'm so going to miss this handsome face~ We never confessed our feelings. It's so sad we have to part ways like this." He quoted from some dramatic movie and then ugly fake sobbed.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "What feelings? I'm not your type. I'm human and I have no strings to pluck that make noise."

Jaehwan was known as the asexual in our group. He only cared about his guitar and he swore he was going to marry music someday.

 

 

I sat in the office across from the old dinosaur teacher, nervously jittering my leg. He had apparently decided that my first punishment was going to be me personally watch him slaughter my test with red pen marks. Every time he slashed through a number and circled the correct answer, I felt like I was being cut with a knife. It was humiliating, which was an effective lesson in itself. Seeing you got questions wrong while you're hoping as he goes down the list one by one for a sudden correct streak was much more painful and nerve wracking then seeing the final score at the top. It felt like I was losing a finger or toe with every loss of a point.

He wrote the score after several minutes of this torture. I ducked my head and flushed with humiliation as I sat humbly with my legs together and my hands on my shaking knees. He passed it over to me, set down his evil red pen, and simply stared at me, his eyes blazing. I had never felt smaller. He reminded me of my father when I did something he disapproved of. I bowed and repeatedly apologized, explaining that I had crammed but it had all slipped from my memory.

I wanted to seem pitiful and express that I did study, I hadn't even slept I assured. However, he wasn't taking any prisoners today. He lectured me for an hour about being irresponsible, coming to college just to play, wasting my parent’s money, shaming the kids that had wanted my position and spot in the class who were more desperate and prepared to cherish this opportunity. He badgered me about if I really wanted to graduate or be a psych major. He told me that I needed to get an A on my next exam or I would need to retake the class and he personally didn't want to see me again. He said that he was worried about me, that he knew I was a bright kid but not taking my studies seriously or that I didn't know how to study properly. He told me that cramming worked in high school but not in college. 

"That's why I have an idea to help you. I want you to do tutoring from one of my top students. Three times a week at least, for a month until the next test."

"Excuse me, Sir? Tutoring?" I scrunched up my face, feeling belittled and unpleasant.

I wasn't a child. I wasn't stupid. I could understand the material if I focused and tried. I didn't need some tutor like some teenager who was failing math. The idea would have excited me back then, because everyone had hot, older tutor related fantasies.

"This is not a suggesting, Daniel. It's your punishment. Unless you would rather..."

"I will do it, Sir. The tutoring."

I hurried to accept, worried about what sort of punishments he thought were more humiliating than tutoring. At least tutoring would allow me to chat with someone, check out nerdy cuties in the library, and to study, which I honestly needed to do. It wasn't a bad idea to have a set time in which I had to do nothing but studying instead of doing it whenever I wanted to, because that was pretty much never. Studying came after games, my friends, partying, dancing, soccer, hunting and a gazillion other things.

I recalled what my parents had said back when I was studying the entrance exams. Passing with a high score was all about scheduling and structuring and sticking to that. Maybe I needed to get a bit of that 'structuring' back in my life, for the sake of my future career. I was planning on getting serious eventually and graduating with a Psych major anyway. And I really didn't want to take this crusty, cobwebby asshole's class again honestly. The feeling of dislike is mutual, Dino.

"Good choice, Daniel. He has already agreed. I took the liberty of checking your schedule and sending it to him. He has suggested that these times are good. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday 5 pm. You will meet at the library today after your final class."

Dammit, today was Wednesday, so I would have to skip soccer club twice a week then this month. Well, my knee had been sort of aching from too much daily use, so maybe a rest was for the better.

"I cannot say his name as he has asked this to be confidential. He will be the tall, skinny, pale guy with glasses."

Glasses? My ears perked at the mention of my fetish. Tall, slim, pale, smart, and with glasses. He didn't want me to know his name and he was older. Hmm, that was mysterious. I thanked the teacher for his lenient punishment and his concern for my future(though really it was just a lot of unnecessary uncalled for nagging because I wasn't that terrible of a student and I did already know those things). I went out to have a cigarette, then another for good measure because my nerves were really shot.

 

 

Before going to my last class, I bought coffee to keep me awake, worried about incurring a second scolding and an extra punishment that would take away from my game and hanging out time. God forbid I get weekend community service or office classroom cleaning duty or filing on my precious weekends. If--no, when--I got a new lover, I absolutely needed that time open for dates.

Speaking of lovers, shit, there's an ex! We passed by chance as we went in and out of the convenience store. I hid my head behind the coffee can and ducked down so I appeared shorter. I sighed in relief when she passed without a clue. That girl had been really pissed when I broke up with her. I had no idea she had such a fiery temper or a solid arm. Her slap had been fierce enough that I chipped a tooth and was actually thankful it hadn't fallen out. My skin had smarted so much I didn't cleanse or shave for three days. Jisung had been calling me 'homeless bum.'

I crossed my fingers, hoping that this tutor was shy, humble, cute, mild-tempered, and not a hitter as I went to class, hurrying so as not to be late. Not my usual style, but I couldn't risk it with my terrible luck this week.

In this class, there was only Sungwoon I was kind of close to. We sat together. He asked me about the party. I told him about my encounter, briefly. He apparently had an idea who it was and said he was a popular regular. He didn't know his name either. It would seem no one did. He was just 'that hyung' or 'that Oppa' or 'that hot guy.' He couldn't give me much information, so my curiosity--despite myself, it did exist--wasn't yet piqued. Sungwoon told me that he would probably be there this weekend if I wanted to meet him.

I didn't. I told him so. Those plump lips smirked at me and dark eyes flashed with amusement. Just like Jisung, he didn't believe me and thought there was some dirty thing that happened I wasn't admitting to. I complained about how my friends thought so badly of me that I just made out with any hot guy when I was drunk. Unfortunately, I had gained that reputation though. I knew of a few times and figured the other times must have been one of those blacked out memories I never got back.

I bit my nails, wondering just how many guys my friends had seen me make out with and what they thought. I considered myself comfortably in the middle of the sexual preference scale, but it did seem that I gravitated to mainly guys when I went past the point I couldn't control myself. Did that mean I was more...? Damn, I didn't want to think of that. I liked kids  and I wanted one someday. Gays couldn't get married in my country and likely never would. I liked my life uncomplicated. I liked attention, admittaadm, but I didn't really want that sort. Maybe it was just a phase, since I was young and experimental still. Hopefully.

 

 

I was still thinking of this and of if I should go to that club again this weekend when I walked into the library. I went to the area the message from the unknown number had told me to. I looked at the white tables by the water fountain, searching for a guy with glasses and a black hoodie. I spotted him. I sat down across from the all-black, pale, glasses wearing, tall brunette hunched over a book he was busy highlighting with extreme care.

"You're late," he said in a cool, clip tone without looking up.

How did he know it was me under all that brown mess?

"I went to the bathroom and had a smoke. Like I usually do after class. I'm just two minutes late."

I apologized but the irritation and defense in my voice was clear. This guy seemed uptight and already upset at me. I didn't want to give him a bad impression when we were going to have regular study dates. I took a deep breath, calming myself, then hurriedly took out my book notebook and pencil case, hoping to appease him by showing my resolve.

"Clearly you don't know how much information your brain can intake in two minutes."

The brunette who would of as now be my nameless tutor highlighted some more words in a decisive strike, only two to three at a time which I thought was odd. I wished I could see his face better but his floppy, long hair was in the way. I only got a glimpse of his hands, nose and cheek which had three dots in a triangular formation. Well, that was uniquely cute. His hands were pretty and his nose nicely shaped. I hoped he would lift up his head so I could get a good look at him. The tone of his voice was oddly familiar. I wondered if I had heard him over the school radio or announcements.

"If you had spent two more minutes memorizing while you were taking a smoke and relieving your bladder, then you might have gotten four more answers correct, putting you in the safe zone and not having to spend your time here. Doesn't seem like the wisest choice."

Ouch, that kind of stung because he made a very logical point. I had studied less hard than Jisung because I took breaks to smoke and snack. I might really have done better if I had studied while I did those things.

"You make a valid point. Lesson learned, bandage applied on the wound you just gave my pride. I'm really not dumb or bad at studying though, I swear. Where shall we start? I am willing to get serious. I understand my grade was terrible. I fell asleep from pulling an all-nighter so some questions were left blank. I'm not used to failing."

"We will see. Just do as you normally do and I will observe your study habits. We can adjust them from there if needed for maximum effectiveness."

I nodded and agreed. I went to work, underlining and noting things I thought were important.

I could feel his eyes on me from under his chocolate, silky looking cloud of hair, but I wasn't going to risk failing this particular psych test. It was oddly quiet. Quiet makes me uncomfortable. That's why I don't like studying in libraries.

I took out my headphones, plugged them in my phone, stuffed the buds in my ears, and turned on music. I drummed the end of my pencil on the table, humming as I read. Nothing really seemed important on the rest of that page, so I skipped it to go to the next one. My favorite song came on. I stopped to look at the lyrics, imagining singing along but merely humming softly so as not to disturb other people.

 

 

After a minute, I changed the song to a less distracting one, forcing myself to get to work again. I hated sitting still. I felt like I needed to move. As I read, I played with the pages and jiggled my foot. I searched for something that seemed important that I didn't already know about. I circled, highlighted, and copied definitions of bolded phrases word for word.

I was distracted by the sound of disapproving tongue clicks and a heavy sigh. I looked up and took out one bud, coming to a halt when I got the shock of my life. The brunette was folding his arms and looking right at me with a frustrated 'you're much more hopeless than I thought kind of look.' He was looking at me, finally, and he was quite the looker. Well, that was an understatment... 

He had almond eyes, long lashes, a straight and shapely nose, defined cheekbones and jaw, pointed chin, and a thin, small face overall. His lips were thin, pink, and kitten shaped. He was gorgeous even with the glasses some would say but I said even more so. The oversized, circular glasses made his features softer, fuller, cuter instead of sharply handsome. He was the hottest person I had ever seen. He looked my ideal by two hundred percent. I forced my parted mouth closed and wiped it in case I was drooling. It would be embarrassing if I was caught being that obvious.

"Is there a problem?" I asked, pulling out my other ear phone to hear better.

Brunette Tutor, you clearly have my attention.

The tutor shook his head, bangs swinging and brushing the bridge of his nose. His hair was really quite long. If he were mine, the first thing I would do was get him a haircut. It hid too much of his pretty face, which was a complete shame. I wanted to take my cutter to it right now actually.

"You're more gone than I thought."

"Excuse me?" I felt insulted and embarrassed, not appreciating his parental tone.

I had actually tried my best. How had I failed? I never failed when I put my mind to something. That was one of my star qualities.

"Your study habits are all sorts of wrong. NG NG!" He said firmly, scolding me while making an X with his fingers.

I laughed, hiding my smile behind his shy which I only did when I felt surprised and caught off guard. That was adorable! So, this kid...hyung...had natural aegyo? He was proving more and more to be my type every minute.

"Did you just No Good NG me?" I asked incredulously around my laughter.

I hadn't seen that in years. What a lame yet very cute dork...

He cleared his throat and pointed to my book, not commenting but flushing in slight embarrassment at his childish action. I chuckled some more, hiding my smile shyly. Now he was acting like nothing happened. Really cute...

His glasses slipped down his nose as he leaned forward to take my notes in his graceful, pale hand. I wanted to push the metal rim of it up for him and swipe his hair to the side. I couldn't explain why, but cute, dorky, waify guys like him made me want to take care of them.

"First of all, your notes. This is an utter mess. There's no organization whatsoever. Later if you were to look at these to study, you wouldn't have any clue where to even start. You should always note in an organized, systematic and consistent format for efficient memorization later."

He compared our notes side my side to show an example of what he meant. He wanted me to organize the information in the chapter systematically by topics and then indented, underlined sub categories within those topics, putting stars next to what was important, circles next to what could be considered important. I had to admit his notes were organized and easy to understand. They reminded me of Minhyun's study guide.

"You wrote way too much for these definitions. Not everything that has big words or bolded letters is important either. Never write down a definition or sentence word for word. Use symbols and signs that mean something to you. Paraphrase in your own way. You will save time and it will be much easier for you to memorize that way. If you write down word for word, then you will feel pressured to memorize it all later, and that's just not possible. Our brains are advanced in comparison to most animals, that's true, but we're not equipped for mass input. It won't stick with you. You will panic trying to memorize it word for word. In the end, you will fail to find the answer even if it's multiple choice."

I nodded, mouth opening with surprise at his detailed explanation and logical reasoning. "Ah, I see. That makes sense."

My notes were extensively wordy, unorganized lists of chicken scratch. My notes never helped me, the few I took in class, and I always wondered why. I thought Minhyun's study guide was always easier to understand because he was a genius who understood and recalled more than me. However, maybe it had all been thanks to his obsession with organization.

I thought about what the tutor had said and his tone of voice. It was soft, airy, kind, and calm. He spoke eloquently with long sentences, using proper grammar and rather advanced vocabulary. It was rare in people our age unless they were studying to be a lawyer or politician or broadcaster. He reminded me of those, only his voice was much more pleasant. I couldn't imagine feeling bored with that voice teaching me.

"I like the way you speak. You have a pretty tone of voice like music."

I jumped, startled as he slapped my phone. Easy there, cute nerd, that's not cheap! I narrowed my eyes at him. He took off his hand, fidgeting with his other fingers, at least having the decency to look apologetic for abusing a stranger's expensive belongings out of the blue.

"That's another thing that's all wrong. Music. You shouldn't study with music going, ever. "

"It helps me focus though..." I muttered in complaint, drooping my head at the second round of scolding.

"No, it doesn't!" He insisted, sounding oddly irritated and passionate about this like we were in a debate. "You stopped searching things to look up lyrics. Then you were drumming your fingers and humming. While you were doing that, you skimmed over a ton of important things. Look!"

He pointed to the parts in my book I hadn't made any mark on. "This will definitely come out on this test. When I was in this class, it did and a ton of people had no clue about it. You need to be fully focused and organize everything. You would have realized it was important if you had all of your attention in one proper place."

"You have something about music?" I observed, my ears catching more on to his bitter tone when he talked about it.

He threw a pencil on the table and flung up his hands, scoffing in utter frustration. He looked really cute like that. But I didn't want to make him angry at me, so I apologized. It didn't help much. He sighed and then got pouty.

"That's your other problem. You put too much attention and energy on what's not essential. Who cares if I like music or not? It's got nothing to do with you improving your study habits. Nothing to do with you at all."

I shrugged and beamed, hoping a smile would ease his mood. "I was curious."

There was some color on his cheeks as he gazed at my mouth for a second but his expression was now stoic on the side of grouchy.

"Don't be curious about me unless it's for my opinion about Psychology or study strategies."

His tone was clearly a warning. I recalled he didn't want me to know his name. It seemed he was a very private person. I would have to open him up very slowly then. Well, I had weeks left. I just had to keep the charm turned on, respect his boundaries, and get in his good graces by being attentive. I backed off graciously, thinking that I should change the subject.

I asked him to help me organize this chapter and teach me his strategy in detail. He flushed and shyly grinned, seeming embarrassed when I complimented him that his style was the best, he seemed very intelligent, and I wanted to be as organized and logical as him. I pat myself on the back for that.

 

 

He told me step by step what to write, how to write it, and what words to highlight. I had apparently personally offended and appalled him whenever I actually highlighted a whole sentence, which was yet another 'NG!' moment. God, I loved when he did that with his pouty face and his fingers in an X. Things didn't get much cuter than that.

He took his glasses to wipe off some steam and I got a good look at his full face for several seconds. It looked even more familiar. He shook his head and smirked as if he was amused by something he recalled I had done earlier.

That face, where had I seen it...? 

That's right! It was exactly like the face from my dreams like the one from the club! I pointed at him and stuttered, turning my head various ways to judge him from every angle, my mouth wide open. The resemblance was uncanny, no it was unmistakable. This was that player that gave me a hard time yesterday!

"Hey, I saw you yesterday! At the club. We had a dance off and we chatted outside. Do you remember me?"

His expression went cold and he said with confidence, "No, I don't."

I wondered if he was too drunk then. Or I didn't leave a strong impression? Maybe I had been mistaken about him being attracted to me? Why was I disappointed? I hated him, so who cared? It was better off if he didn't recall me! Less headache for me.

"I'm pretty sure I saw you last night...You sure you didn't go to a club yesterday?"

He was insistent and stern faced. "I don't go to clubs, Daniel. I don't drink. I don't like music. I most certainly don't dance. Yesterday, I was doing homework for a project on various brain functions and their effects on rapidly changing emotions."

"Really? Maybe I was mistaken. You sure look identical to someone I saw..."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

He looked down, fidgeting with his pen. His body language said he didn't want to talk about this. 

"Doppelganger?" I suggested.

He hesitated. After a long silence, he replied. "You must have met my twin brother last night. He likes to dance. We're identical, in appearances only."

"Ah, twin brother..."

I thought over the idea, putting them side by side in my head. Two of those tall, skinny, fair-skinned, gorgeous brunettes with perfect faces that will make even animals and objects swoon? Wow, that was just God's cruel punishment to the world. But a gift to me. Thank God, this wasn't the same person. I never wanted to see his cocky, promiscuous brother again. The nerdy, cute, shy, closed off twin who easily blushes, yes, that twin I wanted to see much more of.

"You're clearly the better one, by the way."

He smiled in a sort of sad, doubtful way. He apparently didn't think so or had heard differently.

"He's popular. People gravitate to him."

Ah, brother is extroverted I am introverted related insecurity issues, I see. Well, that was a shame.

"Really? I think you seem nicer. You must be popular in your classes and the library. You have the same looks, after all. People must approach you just for that."

He shook his head, chewing on his lower lip, flushing slightly, and looking down, his long eyelashes dancing over his pale skin. I smiled and my heart flipped, thinking he was really pretty like that. He looked so soft, gentle, demure, and sweet. A totally different feeling from his haughty, arrogant brother.

"It's a personality thing. I don't shine like he does. I am black paint on a blackboard, I just fade into the background, being passed by. I'm sort of uncomfortable with people as well. I prefer my books--things to be logical and silent and calm. I don't chatter."

Was that so?

"You seem to talk a lot with me," I pointed out.

He flushed again, reminding me of a rose. His down-cast eyes strayed to whatever he was fidgeting with, which appeared to be a nervous habit he had when he had to talk about himself and was being looked at--pencil, notebook, book pages, his shirt sleeves.

"That's different. It's my assignment to talk to you. We're not chatting casually either. We're talking about book and study related things, which I'm comfortable with. If I'm put in some social situation with a stranger, it's a whole different story. I can barely hold a casual conversation after introductions occur."

"Hmm, I see. Well, everyone has things they are not comfortable talking about. For you, it's something personal. For me it's, hmm..."

I chewed on the end of my pen, searching my brain for some sort of subject that made me uncomfortable. It was harder than I thought. I was a pretty open person.

"My fears, I guess..."

My mind took a dark turn. I had quite a few of those and I didn't like to put them on display or talk about them since I had a lot of pride in my manly image. Only Jisung knew about my nightlight, inability to watch or read horror stories, and how I flipped out at even the tiniest big or fake rubber ones. There was more beyond those fears too, but those were the most prominent I dealt with on a daily basis. The heat hadn't been the only reason I had detested going out during summer.

His pretty eyes flashed with a spark of curiosity, which was also an adorable look on him. It reminded me of how a kitten looked when you put down a plastic bag or box. They just had to sniff it and then get inside to see what was there.

"What are you afraid of?" He asked softly, almost as if he was wondering accidentally out loud.

The way he ducked his head back down and covered his mouth suggested that my thought was true. I was flattered by the first casual question he had ever asked. I wasn't going to say though, not without incentive. I thought of what piece of information would be worth revealing my most image-wrecking secret.

"I will tell you if you let me know your name," I wagered with a playful grin.

His head snapped up and he paled. Not able to stay stoic when we were discussing him, were we?

"Just your first name then?"

He gulped and shook his head frantically, looking like he saw a ghost, his big eyes popped open, reminding me of a webtoon character. Was it really that big of a deal? Was he infamous? Or was his name strange? I didn't get it, but I respected it.

"Asking your name is an NG then?" I asked softly like I was in front of a frightened deer, putting my fingers in an X formation like he had before.

He nodded, looking at me with a pleading expression not to ask again. Okay, cutie, don't do things that make me want to brush your hair and freckles to put you at ease...

"Noted. Literally, see?"

In my notes I wrote 'ask tutor name' under my section of 'study do-nots' I titled 'Things that are NG'. He smiled shyly and let out a precious little giggle, covering his mouth with his folded hands. It was a bummer not to know this cutie's name, having to just go by the standard, boring, older man surname everyone else used, but the way he seemed grateful and relaxed around me the last ten minutes of our scheduled hour tutoring session was worth it.

I had to bite my lip not to smile and stare at him. He was just...way too much my type. Especially the more he talked. I really loved his voice and how he got passionate only about studying related topics. He made the visual benefits of dark led pencils and bold highlighters over light led pencils and thin highlighters even somehow sound fascinating. I smiled, resting my chin in my hand as he went on and on. I wanted to listen to him all through the rest of the day. Also, the way he moved. I liked his nervous fidgeting and how he was often pushing his glasses up or tapped his lip with a clean fingernail when he was thinking of what to coach me on next. 

 

 

The last moments were up much faster than I wished for. He told me that he would be staying in the library to study for his own courses. He was studying Psych as well but more advanced, specific subjects than me with my freshman general level courses, which were rumored to be a world apart in difficulty level.

"Thank you for your help. It was a very informative and helpful first session. I will continue to try organizing the next chapter this way. See you tomorrow, same time and place."

"See you then. Take it slow and check the NG list. Listening to music during note-taking is strictly prohibited. I will know if you do."

I laughed and smirked, wanting to challenge how he could possibly know that. I decided I would not heed this warning the first time, testing him out to fulfill my own curiosity. If he could really tell that, then he was like a superhero with spidy senses. I would probably crush on him even harder, though I was already crushing more hard core from just an hour in this cute, mysterious, oddball hyung's company than I had ever on my last three lovers.

"Roger, hyung." I pulled a serious face and saluted, standing upright like a soldier.

I was rewarded for my silly action with another soft, subdued giggle for a few seconds before he caught himself and returned to his go-to stoic look. I wondered why he tried to hide his expressions and his emotions when they were so attractive and full of life? He really had that actor look and it wasn't just about his chiseled, symmetrical features.

"Good luck!" I cheerfully encouraged him with a breezy, inciting grin that was my signature charming point and waved cutely.

He hesitated, then quietly murmured 'bye...' His hand went up hesitantly and he waved it slowly one or two centimeters to both sides.

 

 

I kept laughing to myself as I left the library to head to my dorm room. I touched my heart because it felt strange. It was racing like it never had before. My face felt hot even though it was cool and quite windy out, the temperature still under twenty. I touched my face. It felt warm. I realized I must have been blushing. What had come over me? I almost never blushed.

Images of the brunette's various expressions and actions flipped through my mind, each one seeming more adorable than I remembered. He was like an animation character in my mind.

"Wah, ottokhae? Even his way of saying goodbye is too cute!" I squeaked, smiling like a fool, and spun around in circles excitedly on my tiptoes. "Ottokhae ottokhae~?"

Was this real life or have I been dreaming this whole time, having fallen asleep in class again? I couldn't believe the luck I had after all the troubles I had been running into. I was going to regularly chat and sit across from that perfect human being, my ideal type that seemed to have stepped right out of a webtoon. I felt like I was going to burst from the happiness filling my chest already.

Two girls passed by, noticing the popular blonde spinning like a ballerina with his hands covering his face, giggling and squealing uncontrollably.

"What's wrong with Daniel?"

"Who knows? He's always like that, you know. Happy and laughing for no apparent reason. Our school's 'Happy Virus.'"

"That's true. Whatever drugs he's taking to always seem so bright, breezy, and cheerful, I wish I could have some!"

"Same here. I really envy that. He's got a great personality. Shall I switch my lenses to contacts and braid my hair to look more like a nerd? I heard a rumour that's his type after observing what his exes had in common."

"I heard he's more in to guys these days, but you can try if you want. I would rather try my luck on that hot, robot-dancing brunette we saw last night. He was sure something, right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Hello, to the other twin, the nerdy version~ Or are they really twins? Or the same person? Why won't either guy say his name?
> 
> Lots of questions but I'm not going to give you the answers for quite awhile. Because we're going to stick with Daniel's POV for now. I hope that you like nerdy Seongwoo as well. He's all sorts of adorable and precious and eccentrically odd. Unlike in my version of Yes, Sir, this Seongwoo is actually nerdy, bookwormy, shy, quiet, and insecure through and through. He gets passionate about study methods. Though I'm not sure if the methods I said are very helpful in terms of other methods(please take with a grain of salt, I have been out of college for many years).
> 
> I like the idea of Dan randomly thinking of bad boy Ong because he's physically attracted to him and finds him unforgettably irritating wheras with nerdy Ong he's instantly smitten. I wonder which is your ideal Ong? Actually, I prefer to date bad boy types, like Jisung hehe. Though I married the nerdy type. 
> 
> Tell me what you think in the comments section please. Not sure when I will have another update up for this, but I will try to put something up within two weeks~ 
> 
> <3 Raina


	3. Spinning....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel gets a wiff of the professor's oddly affectionate, possessive sort of feelings for nerdy Seongwoo. At the library at their next session, nerdy Seongwoo tests and scolds Daniel for not following all of his instructions while note-taking. Daniel is impressed by his observations to tiny details. Daniel brings out various things to learn about his cute hyung without asking personal questions, since that's not something that is allowed in their relationship. Seongwoo teaches him some meditation and concentration techniques. Daniel enjoys getting to know him little by little and obviously the flower-like view, but he is disturbed by how Seongwoo acts when mentioning the professor.

“Oh?” Jaehwan exclaimed. 

“What’s with the smile?” Minhyun asked with a suspicious tone.

“You look too happy for someone who should be punished…” Jisung commented. 

I continued smiling as I walked over to the professor, ignoring my noisy friends who were seated today in the middle of the lecture hall all together waiting for me. I was usually the last one since I preferred to have a smoke before coming in. I saw several surprised to see me so early faces. 

“Good morning, Sir.”

I bowed politely, putting extra sugar in my tone. I hated the dinosaur quite a bit less today. Why? Simply because he became my matchmaker. He introduced me to my soul mate. I had to like him just a little bit out of gratefulness for giving me the opportunity, right?

“You are oddly chipper, Daniel. I think a personal greeting from you is a first. You even came in before the bell rung. Seems like you're alresdy turning a new leaf, even earlier than I had hoped.  I take it you found my choice of a tutor helpful?”

My smile was wide enough to hang laundry on. “It was…enlightening, to say the least. I think he will teach me a lot.”

“I’m sure he will. He is mature, sensible, and knowledgeable. On top of that, he has a calm demeaner and great patience. He’s honestly better of a teacher than I am.”

I shook my head and insisted that wasn’t true, though inside I was agreeing whole-heartedly. The tutor didn’t scold or ridicule me or tell me to leave the room or sigh in disappointment constantly. Then again, the dinosaur had been teaching hundreds of years more, so maybe that was understandable.

“Has he always been like that? What was his ranking in class? Did he ever get below perfect on tests?”

“He’s not just top of his classes, Daniel. That boy is top of this entire school. He came here very young with college credits already acquired. He’s been here nearly four years and he’s still got a 4.0. As far as I know, he’s never missed an answer on a test.”

I whistled. “That’s impressive.”

“Yes, he is very impressive. Also, quite kind and sweet.”

Sweet? The professor called someone sweet? I studied his face. His wrinkly, usually dull eyes had a dreamy brightness to them suddenly and his cheeks seemed red, reminding me of a young school boy. He was also smiling, which never happened. I wondered if it was possible that he had a crush on my tutor? But wait, ew, gross. They were hundreds of years apart and the professor was so jerky and crusty and dull…

“You seem fond of him, Sir,” I pointed out with a teasing edge to my tone.

He flushed a bit more and waved his hands, slightly laughing. The dinosaur could laugh? Woah, what was going on? Did he really like MY tutor? We better not have the same crush, that’s just too weird…And made this old man look like a pedophile because the tutor was just twenty-three…

“He’s my star pupil. And my assistant teacher. He helps me a lot. And he’s a respectable, generous person. That’s all. I’m not fond of him, I’m just…um…think of him like a son? Yeah, something like that…”

You want to kiss your son too? Pedophile, psh. I’m watching you, Dino. Your wrinkly hands won’t touch a hair on MY crush’s head. Unless he tells me he's into way older, stuffy guys. Shoot, he was such a huge brain that that could indeed be true then I would be shit out of luck.

“Yes, he would be like a son. He’s decades younger. It would be pretty much a crime to think of him as something else.”

I laughed but there was a sarcastic, edgy warning in my tone. He gulped and avoided eye contact, telling me to get to my seat because he had to prepare for class. He knew that I was on to his indecent feelings for a student that was under twice his age. Maybe I needed to talk to ‘hyung’ and convince him to be an assistant to someone else, for his safety. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t like it if he knew about the dinosaur’s feelings. Or worst, lust…

When I joined my friends, Jaehwan had his arms around Minhyun, resting on his shoulders as they looked at something on his phone. Jisung was commenting that someone was really cute, handsome like a manhwa character, and his face was as tiny as a fist. I put my head on Jaehwan’s, squeezing his shoulders as I took a peek.

“Ah, my Jinyoung~”

Minhyun looked up and bopped my head. “He’s MINE. And you stay away from my little brother. I told you he’s way too young for you and I don’t let friends around my cute brother. You're never allowed to meet or even chat over the phone with him, in fact."

“So possessive.” I pouted. “He’s not that much younger than me. If I just wait another five years or so…”

“Then you will be nearly thirty. Gross. My brother should date someone his age, if he even ends up being into guys. Someone smart who doesn’t drink or smoke or slack off…”

“Hey, I have good qualities!” I retorted noisily.

“Like what?” Jaehwan teased.

I hesitated to think of any. Jisung jumped to my defense. Yay for best friends. My roommate said all sorts of good things about me, some I hadn’t even thought about that were totally true. I was caring, bright, positive, generous, and funny.

I scratched my neck and flushed, feeling a bit bashful about the compliment fest. “Thanks, Ji.” I thumped him on the back.

“But you forgot to talk about my eye-smile and my broad shoulders. That’s what makes most cuties go crazy.”

Jisung rolled his eyes. “Last time I ever come to your defense.”

“How’s Daehwi doing these days?” I wiggled my eyebrows as I turned to Jaehwan pointedly, leaving Jisung to sulk because that’s just the kind of thing we did, bicker like real brothers.

Jaehwan took out his phone and showed us some video of Daehwi dancing to Twice and BoA. He was a really great dancer and good at doing sexy or cute moves with grace and next to no awkwardness despite being a boy. He had a very feminine face with the huge, innocent, deer-like eyes and he was always smiling brightly. He was the kind of kid that just screamed 'likeable by everyone in the universe.'

“Jae, can I…?” I started with a hopeful tone and lash-batting, innocently popped open puppy eyes. 

“Nope. Never. Daehwi won’t ever think of you that way anyway. He said you’re even more immature than he is.”

Jaehwan put down his phone with decisive snap as if to hint ‘that’s the end of this discussion, you are most definitely not going to get permission to pursue my brother.’ It wasn't the first time I tried to get in his good graces. 

I sighed and leaned my head back on the chair. “It’s so hard to find anyone my type at this school and there’s two perfect guys IIknow of,  but I just happen to be friends with their protective older brothers so of couse they are off-limits. Life is so unfair!”

Minhyun chuckled and pat my leg. “Yes, it is. But you getting in trouble yesterday makes up for it. Think of all those nerds’ hearts you’ve broken this year alone because you can’t stay interested in something longer than a second.”

The topic then changed to my ‘punishment’ yesterday. They were relieved that it wasn’t a waste of time. They seemed pleased that I would be able to learn to study better since I was motivated to get with my cute, shy, impassive tutor. They wanted to see a picture but I of course wouldn’t have been allowed to take one with how uptight my 'hyung' was. I would have to sneak a picture of him when he was studying before he noticed I was close by.

“When are you meeting him?” Jaehwan asked. “Must be nice to have regular study dates~ Well, I have a date with my ‘Suzy’ every day, but…”

Suzy was the name of his guitar, the closest thing he had ever had to a girlfriend, and Jaehwan was rambling.

“Three times a week. Today after my last class.” I answered before he could start talking about his next musical dilemma.

 

“Did you do your homework?” typical father-like Minhyun asked.

“I did. I hope he will praise me. Should I ask for a kiss on the cheek?” I joked, my hands folded as if in prayer.

“He sounds like the kind of guy that would stare daggers and then smack you through the window if you tried…” Jisung noted.

I nodded. “Yeah, he’s pretty closed-off, no-nonsense. It’s attractive though. I prefer a challenge. I want to get to know him, but I think he won’t answer anything if I ask him directly. So, I came prepared.”

I smiled proudly as I pat my backpack. They tried to take a peak inside but I refused to let them know my dating secrets. They spent the rest of the class guessing what was inside but I said ‘nope~’ to everything, even the ones that they guessed correctly. I enjoyed being impish.

 

 

I sang and danced all the way to the library, feeling excited to see ‘hyung’ soon. Remembering he didn’t approve of music and that I shouldn’t draw attention in the library, once I got past the entrance, I pocketed my head phones. Instead of going directly to the tables, I took a round about way. I hid behind a case of books and peeked around the edge. 

He was sitting in the same spot as yesterday. He was wearing an over-sized white sweater, rolled up at the sleeves to reveal his slender, pale wrists. His brunette hair was messy and in his eyes, touching the rims of his golden, Harry Potter style glasses. He had his groomed, straight brows pushed together and his kitten-shaped mouth was frowning as he concentrated on a monster of a textbook that had to have nearly 1,000 pages.

Geez, was that what I had to look forward to in the future of the Psych field? That was daunting. I tossed it out of my mind, only wanting to focus on things that made me happy. Like this adorable angel who was so focused studying he was oblivious to people looking at him.

I wasn’t the only one casting glances. He may think that people didn’t notice him like they did his brother, but even if he put on a serious face and tried to hide behind his hair and glasses, a truly handsome person like that couldn’t remain invisible. Plus, he was freaking tall and had the most amazing proportions like a model, so there was just no way people wouldn’t notice him. He just wasn’t as friendly and approachable so people only looked secretly and were intimidated to bring up a topic.

Honestly, when most people see that kind of guy, they would think ‘ah, I don’t have a chance’ or ‘he definitely has a girlfriend.’ I was certain he didn’t though. Because he was uber shy and cared too much about studying. He probably had no time to look for someone he was interested in, let alone try to woo them. That’s why I was going to come on first, nice and slow, through his favorite hobby.

I put my hand over my mouth, giggling because he was just that cute. Then I snapped a couple pictures of him secretly to show my friends later.

“Hyung, good afternoon! How’s it going?” I asked brightly as I sat down across from him, putting my bag on the table with a thump.

He looked up with his eyes narrowed and put his fingers over his lip in a ‘shh’ motion. Had I thought that he couldn’t get more adorable? Okay, I was wrong about that. I mimicked him, forcing my laugh to turn to an amused grin.

“It’s fine. I told you not to pay me any mind. Focus on how your studies are going instead. Homework?” When he told me not to do something just like before, he gave me his standard NG sign I adored.

He put down his highlighter and held out his hands expectantly, his expression serious as usual. However, that tiny bit of pink that suggested he was flattered by me showing interest in him or maybe that I was in front of him all of a sudden was really pretty. I opened up my bag and started taking everything out. His eyes widened and he had question marks all around his handsome face as I took out piles of stuff.

“What’s all this…?” he asked with confusion, dark almond long-lashed eyes flashing left and right, his chocolate locks fluttering as he tilted his head.

There were two different snacks, two different drinks, my books, my notebook, and several pens and high lighters. I shrugged, flashing my breezy smile. I cleared my throat and tried to sound like a logical professor.

“Eating and drinking this sort of thing isn’t prohibited in the library. I thought we might get hungry or thirsty. Isn’t it true that if your stomach is grumbling or your throat is scratchy that will distract you from an effective study session?”

The brunette opened his mouth to argue, then closed it with a frown, his eyes folded into an attractive, sharp V. He has some really well-groomed brows and his skin was flawless, I noticed. His mouth opened and closed a couple more times, his finger absently poking near his freckles as if it was his thinking habit.

“You have a point, there. Maybe you’re not as far gone as I thought. Were you researching study methods last night?”

I liked that he sounded impressed, albeit grudgingly so. That was already an improvement on his impressions of me from before. 

“Yup!” I popped the ‘p’ and smiled proudly.

He looked at my mouth and then quickly back to his books, seeming disarmed. His cheeks were pinker just along the tops of his defined cheek bones. He pushed up his glasses and cleared his throat.

“Homework…” he reminded me softly.

“Ah, here. I actually did today’s chapter and next week’s chapter since I had some extra time to kill.”

I was hoping for praise but all I got was an insincere ‘hmm.’ I guess that wasn’t much to him. He probably covered two chapters a day regularly on top of a busier schedule than me. I really wanted to know if he worked and when was his free time and what did he do in his free time. I forced myself to be patient and quiet, well except for the excited jiggling in my seat. I really had a hard time staying still, especially in libraries since the unnatural stillness despite being full of people made me uncomfortable.

‘Hyung’ looked through my notes and books for several minutes in silence, tapping his lip with one slender, clean finger. I waited anxiously for his feedback.

“It’s not bad for a first attempt.”

I sighed with relief. It was praise, sort of! 

“But.”

I bit my lip and my heart stopped. The tutor lifted his head and glared at me with a stern expression. Uh-oh, what did I miss? Was he going to be furious and refuse to help me anymore?

“You listened to music.”

Shit, he really did know. How the hell did he know that? I was testing him, sure, but I really hadn’t believed it was possible. I tried to not make it obvious too.

“How did you know?” I asked with my impression clear.

The boy sighed as if I was a total frustrating, hopeless dunce. He explained calm and slow, pointing to the evidence of my rule-breaking.

“The pages are folded or slightly ripped. You were playing with them constantly, probably to the beat. These pen marks here? You were tapping along. See these spaces between these words in your notes? They are not at all like your natural spacing. Which means you were distracted when you were writing, probably changing the song or singing along. Am I wrong?”

His tone was sharp, challenging, not the slightest bit soft or amused now. 

I flushed and bit my lip, feeling embarrassed like I was a toddler in front of my mom caught playing video games when I was supposed to be doing my math homework in elementary school.

“No, you’re not wrong…In my defense, I was doing it just because I was curious about if you could really tell or not. I didn’t think that you could honestly. That’s kind of cool.”

I smiled, hoping his mood would lighten up. I didn't like making my crush angry at me, it really sucked in fact. 

“I’m glad I could amuse you. Clearly that’s what I’m here for…” he said dryly, his face not the least bit amused.

“Sorry, hyung. I won’t do it again. It was just the one time.”

I bowed my head and rubbed my hands together in a cute apology. 

‘Hyung’ sighed and passed back the books. “Okay, I suppose I can forgive you once. It’s understandable to be honestly curious. In the future, though, I hope that you believe me. I’m an observant person. I do not lie or bluff either. If I say that I can tell, I really do mean that.”

I beamed, my heart finally back to beating properly.

“Got it. Hungry? Have a snack.”

I watched with interest as he looked at the snacks and paused with his hand over it. He went back and forth. It seemed that he liked both snacks. He reached for one finally. Okay, hyung prefers sweet things to salty thing. I took the other one, then I put the drinks right in front of him, telling him to choose whichever he wanted. He chose juice over milk. Okay, that’s one more thing that I learned.

 

 

As we ate and drank in silence, our eyes met by accident (well, for him it was an accident, I kept my eyes only on him). I smiled brightly or laughed whenever it happened. He flushed and looked away quickly, the crook of his mouth twitching as if he was tempted to smile.

I noticed even the way that he ate was cute. He ate the snack one by one, pinching between two fingers with his pinky up. He didn’t want to get his book or notes dirty so he held his hands up and didn’t touch anything. I gave him a tissue when he was done. He wiped his fingers and then his mouth which I was sort of hoping he wouldn’t notice there were crumbs right under his nose and near his chin.

He was still munching. He looked like a hamster or some cute little herbivore like that when he ate with small, quick bites, his lips pursing into a heart shape. So ridiculously cute. I resisted the urge to jump across the table and peck him. I took the tissue and put it in my bag, to keep forever. 

He went back to reading his book while he drank milk but it seemed as if he either wasn’t as into it as earlier or he couldn’t concentrate as well with me around.

“What are we doing to learn today, hyung?”

“Hmm, I was thinking seeing that you are easily distracted and jittery…”

I smiled sheepishly, stopping my drumming and knee jiggling. I sweetly apologized yet again, admitting that I didn’t even realize I was doing that. It was a terrible habit. I had a hard time staying still, I told him. My puppy eyes had their usual effect. He pushed up his glasses, cheeks tinting pale rose pink.

“Since you have that issue, it may be a good idea to teach you some relaxation and concentration techniques. Before you start studying, you can perform what I teach you and then you will be able to have a more effective and lengthy time studying. You will do better on your test and you may just have free time to do whatever it is you like to do.”

“I like to do b-boy and modern dance. Listen to music. Walk in the park. Skateboard. Read comics. Oh, and eat.”

“I didn’t ask.”

He gave me an irritated, not amused look, silently reprimanding me for wasting our precious time with chatter which he told me he didn’t do. Damn, still no personal questions allowed.

“Right, sorry, hyung. Continue please.”

"We're going to get our body ready first and then our mind. Your mind can not focus effectively if it's not relaxed and it is impossible to relax if your body is tense. All parts are connected."

"Sure you're not majoring in yoga or philosophy?" I teased, snorting at the idea.

He ignored me and continued his explanation. He told me about a two-step stretching technique called progressive muscle relaxation. It is a kind of stress relief. He instructed me to remove my shoes and jacket. Then I had to focus on tensing and releasing every part of my body while I closed my eyes, starting from my foot up all the way to my head. I had to take deep breaths and tense and release individual parts of my body.

 I did it about half way then I got bored. I ended up taking a peek to watch him do it. Wow, he was even prettier with his eyes closed and lips parted. My thoughts drifted in a new direction and parts of my body got tense without my permission, for much longer than ten seconds.

"Feel relaxed, right?"

I don't know about that...

The boy certainly seemed to though. He smiled softly for a few brief moments. My heart was doing flares like no other. I couldn't turn my 1,000 wats smile off even if I tried. To think something little like stretching could make him happy and relaxed enough to finally crack a smile.

"Yeah, I feel pretty good."

"Next is meditated deep breathing."

We faced each other focusing on some high lighters as a single point. We sat with our backs straight, hands on our chest and stomach. He instructed me to breathe through my nose and make my stomach rise, then exhale through my mouth, pressing on my abdominal muscles. The hand on our chests shouldn't move. We counted how many heart beats in a minute.

After doing this for five minutes, our heartbeats were supposed to have gone down as long as our blood pressure and our mind cleared. I wasn't sure about mine because I kept concentrating on his moving lips and chest, wondering why he was so skinny and if he would feel as soft and fragile looking in my arms, and forcing myself not to run my thumb over his light pink thin lips. He was all kinds of soft and lovable. Which made it impossible for my heartbeat to slow much at all.

"So, how does this help us study exactly?" I asked when he said we could stop and I could stop pretending to do it.

"Right now, our breathing is slow so our heart rate is down and our muscles have relaxed so our blood circulates faster. These aspects combine so that there is more blood flow to our brain. Which means..."

 I knew this much from my general course. "Our neurons will be more responsive, aiding our memory and problem-solving areas in the limbic system of the medial temporal lobe."

He nodded enthusiastically, rewarding me with sparkling eyes.

 

 

My tutor then went on to explain the scientific details of how blood flow effected the brain in different sections and how each one needed to be stimulated at once for us to be able to retain more information than normal. I heard some words I had heard here and there like cerebrum, hippocampus, and epithalamus.

Seeing his eyes flashing and hearing him ramble for ten minutes on this topic like a professor, I learned he was interested and well informed in neuropsychology. A brainy guy liking to study about how brains function--well, that was ironic.

"Why--" I stopped myself just in time.

I had been about to ask, 'Why is everything about you cute? Please tell me next about the part of our brains that covers that.' I was certain he wouldn't appreciate that comment.

"Hmm? Question?" He asked softly, his eyes gentle and kind which made me feel guiltier.

Lots actually, but none that I'm allowed to ask yet since they’re personal, I thought.

"I got these highlighters from a friend but it's too much. You seem like you would need them more. Take one."

He gave me a suspicious look as if he was wondering why I kept giving him gifts. He hesitantly stared at them and eventually took a purple one. Huh, I wouldn't have guessed that. This hyung keeps surprising me, whatever his name is. Damn, I really want to know his name.

"Thank you. You're...nice."

 I smiled wide. I hadn't expected either of those words, but they were suddenly the most amazing I had ever heard. He sounded like it was foreign and almost tasteful to him. He smiled back a bit wider and softer than earlier.

"I know I am. So are you, sort of. Seems like you try to hide it."

"Hmm that's what you think?" He murmured in a subdued tone, his eyes downcast and his cheeks pinkened.

I was pretty sure it's what I know not what I think.

"Shall we get to studying now? I think our brains are warmed up."

Hmm, he's changing the subject. He's really uncomfortable with compliments. Why is that? His family or teachers didn't show him love? Only his brother? Was he totally overshadowed because he's more introverted, dorky, quiet, and serious?

I don't get it. He's light-years more interesting and lovable than his brother. I want to just hug him tight until all his fluffy stuffing pops out. He reminded me of this white seal doll I saw at a store yesterday on my way to eat out. I was going to buy a big one and sleep while cuddling it every night imagining it was this insecure shy cutie. The one with freckles similar to his. 

 

 

We spent the next half an hour looking over my notes. He complimented me, rather simply, on my note taking and highlighting--I had followed all his rules to the best of my ability last night. I had gone over them three times. Jisung had been shocked, having come over to my bed to chat and do some homework together. Not only had he never seen me study in advance, he had hardly seen me look at a book and sit still at my desk for more than an hour.

 I hadn't told him why because it was kind of embarrassing. I had never had to try so hard for someone but then again, I had never crushed this hard in my memories.

 I asked him some questions about things I didn't understand or what sort of things he thought would appear on the test, especially on the short answer questions which were difficult if you didn't prepare in advance and fully understand the concepts or terms. He was as usual informative, detailed, and patient with his explanations and I took notes on many things he said (and did--he had the cutest little habits like blinking with his full eye muscles, licking his lips, covering his mouth, and fidgeting with his glasses and too long sleeves).

 I had a great time but only wished that he would look at me more. I watched him but he hardly ever turned his eyes to my face, he was always downcast or looking at the book and notebook as if his eyes were a window to his soul and he didn't want me to see something. A couple of times I forced my way into his line of vision but it seemed that unless he was angry at me, he was unnerved by eye contact. He would cover his mouth or bite his lip and fidget with his sleeves or glasses, his pale cheeks changing pink and eventually blossoming out to his ears.

That's what he reminded me of. This hyung was like a half-bloomed, pale pink rose or something. Flower boy, how I like you so much already. How long will it take to get you to open up? Will this month be enough time to get close to you, enough that I can see a genuine, unbridled smile and hear your bright, sincere laugh every day?

 I was supposed to be packing up but I got distracted because I was imagining what his full laugh would sound like and how his face would brighten with a real smile if only I knew how to do that. ‘Hyung’ was doing most of the work putting my things back in my bag. That was another surprising thing. I didn't recall him being as helpful yesterday.

Was it because I brought him things or was he opening up just a bit, showing me his true character? I sort of wished more for the later, feeling like an elementary student who was waiting for teacher to give him a 'good job' stamp and a gold star. For the first time in a long time, I put in effort for something. I decided to think of this as my reward.

‘Hyung’ gasped and I nearly did as well when our hands accidently brushed putting the last of my things in my bag. He bit his lip and flushed, his eyes going away from mine immediately.

"Here, your high lighter. Thanks for letting me use it."

He had the purple pen in his oversized sleeve which had dropped down over his hand. I liked that despite he was tall and skinny, he wore these clothes a few sizes too large. It was almost as if he was sinking into them. He reminded me of a marshmallow now. The desired affect was that he was extremely soft and squishy looking and just all around all sorts of levels of adorable with his dorky huge glasses, his shy demeanor, and too long chocolate colored hair that made him look paler.

His fair skin was now splashed with a darker shade of pink than I had ever seen. His expression remained unreadable and serious. Surely his eyes would tell me something but he hid them from my sight of course.

"You keep it. It's a gift. Purple suits your complexion. You have perfect skin. Someday you will have to tell me your secret."

He pushed up his glasses, covering his lips but not before I saw a hint of the left corner riding up. His dark eyes flickered to mine for just a second, sparkling with mischief that I had seen all over his brother but not much as yet on him at all. They looked a bit more alike then. I liked the look on him more so though.

"Maybe I can tell you a secret or two. If you really do ace this test. But it's a pretty impossible feat."

"What's your highest score?" I asked curiously as I zipped my bag up, though I didn’t expect him to answer since it was a personal question.

"110 percent."

 I gawked, for several reasons. He almost looked smug but he was still using his sleeve to cover his mouth so I couldn't tell.

 "Bonus points. The short answers can save you if you understand well. I also pointed out some misleading or incorrect questions, so the professor rewarded me."

 Well, I have a good feeling now why he did that but ten percent extra. Talk about trying to get in someone's pants.

"You don't ever um..."

How to word this?

"Get any weird vibes from him, do you? Like... that he acts friendlier with you than normal in an uncomfortable way? Does he try to touch you or um...make you do a lot of physical labor like picking something up perhaps?"

The boy looked anxious and I caught slight worry in his eyes as he met mine in surprise. Then he shook his head and denied it so I couldn't be sure what that was supposed to mean. Maybe something odd had already happened and he was scared of the consequences of revealing it? That dinosaur better not have laid a hand on him inappropriately...

 

 

 After that, ‘hyung’ seemed a bit colder and like he was in a hurry to have me going and he didn't wish to talk at all anymore. We agreed to meet Monday. I tried to ask what he was doing this weekend, hoping that I could not so accidentally bump into him if he was going to be somewhere out of the library or his dorm for once, but he shut me down right away, reminding me that his personal details were not important since they didn't help me study at all and that he disliked to aimlessly chatter. I waited until I was outside to sigh in frustration and ruffled my hair.

 "Maybe I should give up?" I talked to myself as I smoked at a safe part of campus.

Although he had his cute moments, he was surprisingly prickly stubborn and hard to approach. Just when I thought I had gotten him to open up and he was getting comfortable with me, he seemed to shut down and go backwards on me.

 I decided I really needed to go out this weekend and let off some steam. This was really an odd couple days. Dancing, drinking, and flirting with some girls would help me. Though I had a feeling I couldn't get him off my mind so easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is up earlier than I thought it would be. I decided to have him meet the nerdy Ong again first because of time logic. Since I can't see Dan going to a club again on the weekdays and that's pretty much the only place he sees bad boy Ong for awhile.
> 
> This chapter sheds light on Jisung X Sungwoon's past relationship, how Minhyun cares for Jae and how Jae is quite clingy, Daniel's attraction and pursuit of JinHwi, some things that nerdy Ong likes, dino teacher's feelings for nerdy Ong, Ong's continued lack of confidence and refusal to talk about himself, nerdy Ong's uncomfortableness with compliments and Dan's love for being complimented and praised. I like the idea of them both stealing glances at each other, especially at the mouth and having different reactions to it. I also like the idea of nerdy Ong being quick to anger and having spidy sense observation skills that Dan admires and also fears, and the idea that Dan hates his crush being angry at him and will do anything to avoid that.
> 
> I hope that you liked this chapter as well. Nerdy Ong is quite cute in that he is dorky, got a hard on for studying and Psych, and he's complicated with all his different moods and he's closed off like a turtle in it's shell. He will be a tough nut to crack. Please tell me what you think.
> 
> I wrote the next chapter already, so I suppose I can put it up in a week or so. It's the next steamy, charged encounter with sexy yet mysterious bad boy Ong. Look forward to some heavy, hot flirting that will make you melt and feel jelly of Dan. I cannot say much for the fantasy element of this story, but this is not about an Identity disorder yet these two are actually the same person.
> 
> Thank you for checking this story out as well and supporting me in all my written endeavors this past several months. I really appreciate it and love you guys~ see you soon!


	4. And spinning...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel spends a night at the club with his handsome, cocky, flirty stranger and lots of fun and comedy ensues. Bad boy Seongwoo is quite an enigmatic mystery.

Friday night I spent doing homework and then playing games with my online friend, some high schooler with the user name ‘Winkboy’. He was a funny kid but I hadn’t met him yet. I had promised to buy him his first drink when he became an adult.

Saturday, I slept most of the day. Until Jisung came home and forced me awake. He went on and on about this amazing date that he’d had on Friday night with the bartender and how he missed him so much that he wanted to surprise him at the club. I told him that I wasn’t sure. Honestly, that club didn’t have good memories for me and I was kind of worried I would bump into that guy there, my nerdy tutor’s twin brother. Eventually, Jisung started pulling out his aegyo and pouting so I gave in. But I hassled Minhyun and Jaehwan into coming with me. I wasn't going to be left alone if that guy ended up being there. 

At the club, we bumped into Sungwoon at the entrance handing out bracelets for a free drink during happy hour. That was awkward. Jisung and Sungwoon had dated briefly but it hadn’t ended up well because…of our little drunken moment I barely remembered. Jisung didn’t want to stick with a guy who let anyone kiss him if he was a bit over tipsy, no matter that Sungwoon treated him nicely. Actually, he had been the only boyfriend of Jisung’s that I approved of and I felt terrible about that stunt I had caused. Maybe I should cut back on drinking when I go out to these sorts of places, seriously.

I squeezed Jisung’s hand and gave him sad puppy eyes to express my remorse. He shook his head, smiled, and waved his other hand.

“I’m long over that, no long face please.”

I could tell from just a glance at Sungwoon’s face he wasn’t. He looked shocked, pained, and just slightly delighted at seeing his ex-lover.

“Ji…Are you well?” he almost whispered, a sweetness coming into his tone I knew wasn't usually there. 

“I’m great. I came to see my boyfriend.”

Jisung smiled wide and took the bracelet, walking with a divaish huff.

“Ouch,” I muttered, wincing with Sungwoon.

I flashed him a sympathetic look. He merely shrugged. There wasn’t anything he could do to change that part of his past. Jisung had been a good thing in his life, he’d blown the chance, and he wasn’t going to get him back so he had given up on the idea even. That was all just sad facts.

I pat his shoulder after taking my bracelet, Jisung tugging me by the hand inside, clearly not wanting to stay and chat to the person he considered to be total scum.

 

 

The place was more crowded than last time, with even more girls than before. I noticed the girls I had danced with before looking at me, but their styles were different today. No longer my type. So, they held no interest to me. I actually didn't feel like hunting for a girl to buy me a drink this time.

First thing we did was go to the bar and get a drink. Dongho was friendly and all charming devil smiles, his black hair slicked back and shaved at the sides, his ears covered in piercings as well as his nose and lip. Jisung couldn’t stop smiling and giggling any time their eyes caught, which was quite often. Dongho kept looking at him with a crooked smile and winking as he made our drinks.

We got hard liquor drinks mixed with some juice rather than a beer since the alcohol content was higher. That way we could get drunk on less money, though we did already get a discount from being friends with Jisung. We relaxed at the bar, chugging one drink after another. Then, I started on the shots. Minhyun and Jisung had one reluctantly and they tried to stop me and Jaehwan but we ended up taking three each. After every shot, we’d cheer and high five. I liked drinking with Jaehwan. He was enthusiastic about it and liked all kinds of alcohol. He never refused any idea I had. However, he was more light weight than me.

Within twenty minutes after our shot fest, he was all loopy and Minhyun was in charge of taking care of him because Dongho had brought Jisung back to the bar to ‘learn how to mix a cocktail’. Though it looked like they were just using it as an excuse to grope each other in secret, seeing as how Jisung looked all kinds of guilty and flattered. Minhyun was a caring guy and infamous for being sweet and patient with loopy Jaehwan who was way too much of a handful for me.

“Hi~” Some girl came over to us with a flirty grin.

“Hi…” I responded with disinterest, looking behind to see if there was someone more promising.

Minhyun and Jaehwan were much friendlier to her but she kept looking at me, deliberately riding up her mini dress to flash more of her pale thighs. I raised an eyebrow as I got a good look. I could appreciate it, but she was a slutty type I wouldn’t put my hands on, no matter how drunk I was. I directed all her questions to Jaehwan, who was hanging on Minhyun so he wouldn’t fall over and smiling goofily. Luckily, she eventually took notice that they were handsome, funny, and silly drunk which made them better playmates than grumpy, quiet me. They went off to dance together, leaving me behind on the chair to sulk and people watch.

I was so bored and oddly down. I was on the upper level of tipsy, yet neither did I feel like dancing or feel like hunting for girls yet. I couldn’t get those twins off my mind. I had secretly been searching, despite telling myself not to, for the bad boy twin I met before. However, it didn’t appear that he came tonight, or that he was in some far away spot. I was somehow disappointed, finding that a small part of me had been interested in seeing him again. It was getting close to being about the time that we met last week. I didn’t like sitting here sulking, especially thinking about that jerk and wondering why I sort of wanted to see him and was feeling disappointed that I hadn’t. I really didn't like that I was feeling like that. 

You didn’t come here for him, you came here because Jisung wanted to and because you wanted to get your mind off those two, so get another drink and go find someone to party with like usual, I encouraged myself to snap out of my gloomy funk. I ordered a rather strong mixed drink and nursed it as I went out to the dance floor. I wandered the edges, searching for someone who was my type. Some girls glanced at me and I made them giggle by smiling breezily and waving. I flirted with my eyes but remained at the edge of the dance floor, hunting for someone that would be worth my time and take my mind off of my problems temporarily.

 

 

I was still looking for someone in the jostling, drunken crowd nearly an hour later, nursing my second drink. A noisy group of guys came into the club from a back door, startling me. I turned around and paused, my eyes going wide, my glass frozen halfway to my mouth as I had been about to lick off the part that had spilled when I got startled.

There he was. The cause of my stress and gloom, with the same exact pretty handsome face as the guy that made me all giddy yesterday. Dressed in all black clothes, his shirt see-through and revealing his collar bone and a good part of his shoulders, his black skinnies torn all over his knees and thighs, his feet in leather combat boots, his hair styled off his forehead in gelled waves, his dark chocolate almond eyes rimmed with black liner, his eyebrows trimmed to perfection, his glossed, dark colored kitten lips in that familiar, irritating smirk. My heart started racing as soon as our eyes met. He was even hotter looking than I remembered. My heart was racing and I told it to stop.

“Daniel? I was hoping I’d see you here.”

How did he know my name now? Had he been asking around about me. Well, that was unfair since I didn't know his. 

“Can’t say the same, sorry,” I quipped with a cool tone and refused to smile back. I drank a large gulp of my alchohol and then turned to see if there was a girl that was looking at me that I could pretend to be with and slip away.

Unfortunately, they all were casting glimpses and smiling at him, like they were mesmerized. I was apparently invisible. Damn guy, why did he have to be so attractive? I really hated that he had the same face that could so easily disarm me. And such nicely styled hair. Did he do that himsekd every day? It must take hours. 

The brunette smiled brightly as he looked at his friends. He introduced us as ‘his crew’ and ‘the awesome b-boy’. Apparently, he had talked to his friends about me. I wasn’t sure I felt flattered since I didn’t know exactly what he said. Hopefully something good, I thought then shook the thought off immediately.

I didn’t care what he thought about me. He wasn’t my type. He was a jerk and because he existed and stole all the love from people, his brother had all these insecurities and complexes and couldn’t smile properly. I hated him more because of that, though I knew it wasn’t fair because he probably didn’t steal attention from his brother on purpose.

“We’re just getting back from a smoke. Well, they were. I can’t stand the stuff. Do you want to dance?”

“You mean like a battle? It doesn’t seem like they’re doing that tonight…” I replied.

He laughed. The sound was irritatingly sweet and beautiful somehow. I wondered if his brother’s laugh would sound something like that. It was probably better and it wouldn’t set me on edge. I didn’t like that this jerk was laughing at me nor that I didn’t understand why.

“I didn’t mean a battle. You whooping my ass in front of a huge group of people that thought of me as a dancing king once was enough. I will take what’s left of my pride and keep it safe.”

“This is how you act when your pride is wounded? I shudder to see what you were like before,” I teased, smiling playfully despite myself.

He smirked back, wickedly. “Shuddering? That sounds hot. I wouldn’t mind some...”

I sensed the dirty direction his sentence was going and jumped in to steer it away, “Okay, I’ll dance with you. Stop being creepy.”

His dance crew agreed, hit him for being a pervert all the time, and apologized for their friend’s behavior. Seing how they all talked casually to him and the more mature looks of the crew, it would appear this guy was the youngest. We moved towards the center of the room and stood in a circle, bobbing to the beat, swaying, or popping as much as we could with our drinks. It was an unusual sight though to see a bunch of guys dancing close to each other without any girls close by. I felt embarrassed as people started staring, granted many of those stares were ogling at the brunette who was the cause of many of my miseries.

 

 

“It’s kind of weird dancing with just guys…” I muttered to him.

The other guys either shrugged or nodded though they didn’t seem to mind as much as I did what people were thinking. I wondered if they regularly did this sort of thing.

The brunette’s smile this time was understanding. “Ah, you’re squeamish about that, right? I guess you’re not drunk enough. I got it covered.”

He went to a group of girls and chatted with them, pointing at our group. They looked like they were about to drop to their knees and asked to be chained up with a leash. They became his loyal followers instantly. He came back with enough girls for each. They stood between the guys and we just sort of danced in an awkward circle until the girls felt more comfortable with us.

Then, we were all pairing up and dancing a bit closer and then a bit closer. Until eventually we had the girls up against our fronts, sort of grinding their backsides against us as we rocked to the beat, everyone careful not to spill their drinks. I wasn’t much interested in the girl that I had in my arms though. Her hair was fake blonde and she smelled of hairspray, smoke, vodka, and suffocatingly strong perfume. I simply held my hand against her hip like she wanted me to as she closed her eyes and lost herself in the music. She put her head on my shoulder, probably trying to entice me with her neck but the smell kept me far away from it.

My eyes drifted forward for something else to look at in my boredom. The brunette dressed in all black who had put me in this situation was dancing with a girl in hot pants and a lacy camisole. His hands rested on her thighs, pulling her back close to his body so they could move in perfect sync. He was smirking as he whispered in her ear, brushing his lips and nose against the rim in a seduction attempt. She was flushed and lips parted, just like the girl the other day, her eyes downcast coyly. She looked like she was very much enjoying what he was doing.

He’s really a master, what exactly is he always saying to them that gets them panting like that, I wondered. His eyes met mine and he stopped talking. There was so much in them—desire, playfulness, mischief, challenge, curiosity, secrets, amusement. Couldn’t he just express one emotion at a time?

His hands slowly stroked up the girl’s hips to her waist in a sensual, skilled fashion and his lips moved to her jaw. He continued to have a staring contest with me as he kissed her neck and touched under her shirt. She inhaled and bit her lip, her arms reaching back to finger his hair and pull his face closer.

He was clearly sending me a challenge and it reminded me of my dream. This was playing out pretty similar. I didn’t have to stoop to his childish level. It was the high level of alcohol in my system that probably made me do it, or that I just didn’t want to lose at any sort of game.

I forced myself not to breath in her scent as I started nibbling on her ear, my fingers rubbing the hip bones I could feel through her silk dress. The girl melted and moaned, her head rolling towards me. I think she wanted me to kiss her but I refused that. I continued my attack on her ear and started stroking her tummy near the line of her panties. She stopped moving and squeezed her thighs, showing that I was making her wet.

The man across from me gave me that impressed look like back when we had done in the dance battle. I smirked proudly, feeling like I won this time too. The girls looked disappointed when we backed away and stopped touching them.

“Let’s get a drink. This one’s on me. You beat me twice after all,” he suggested with a friendly, bright grin, beckoning me towards the bar.

 

 

We squeezed our way through the people until we ended up at the bar. Jisung gave me a look like ‘Who’s the cutie?’ I shook my head and waved him off with a look of irritation. Jisung caught on. ‘Oh, that’s him! And you said you didn't want to meet him again. Good luck~’ he laughed and winked, turning back to his boyfriend he was still helping with drinks.

“How do you like your poison, Hot Stuff?” he asked me with the usual flirty, easy-going smirk, leaning against the bar.

“Mixed with hard liquor. Or straight. Or shot. Anything will do.”

“All three it is then. You know how I like the number three.”

He winked. I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to punch him. Three as in three-some which is what he was trying to get me in on the other night, well it had probably been more than that. I was kind of curious about how that all went down and if he’d actually gone through with that(just natural man to man curiosity). However, how did you even bring up that kind of extremely naughty conversation?

“I know what you’re thinking.”

He stopped talking to order drinks and then flirt for a minute with a girl sitting next to him at the bar who kept giving him goo-goo-ga-ga eyes. Then, he put his hand on my back and whispered right up against my ear, his soft lips tickling in a pleasant way.

“I did do it. With all of them. At once. For your information. I was the skilled ring master of a crazy, incredible circus-fuck. If you are curious, which I know you are but just won't admit it, join me tonight for the after party. There’s going to be something similar going on. I can hook you up with some hot girls. Actually, I can make you feel nirvana. Because I can fuck like no-body's business and once you have had me inside your ass you won't want anyone else there ever again...”

Fuck, his voice, his breath, his words, the cursing…. They went straight to my groin and made me shudder. My cheeks heated, my lips parted as I had difficulty breathing, my heart pounded, my thighs tensed, my jeans were extremely constricting. I was as affected as those girls earlier. Well, I had wanted to know and now I knew. Curiosity really did kill the cat. I pushed him away with irritation and glared at him.

“That’s never going to happen. It’s just…gross.”

He slowly licked his lips, his twinkling almond eyes going curiously to the front of my jeans as if he was checking his affect on me. Good thing my pants were rather baggy today and I was sitting down in a way that made it hardly visible.

“That’s what people say at the start but by the end it’s a whole different story. You should think about it. You seem like a risk-taker and a fun guy to me. I don’t know why you’re so vehement about even just trying once.”

“I told you I did once. It was gross,” I insisted, taking my drink from Dongho and plopping it on the bar with a hard thump.

“You clearly did it wrong then.”

The brunette looked at me as he drank. I caught myself following his adam’s apple and the way his lips firmly grasped the edge of the cup. An image of him greedily swallowing my cum came to mind.

“Fuck,” I cursed and then downed my drink as I struggled to wipe that hot but very unwelcome image away.

“Woah, there. Still a shot coming, Hot Stuff.”

“Make it a double,” I grumbled, glaring at my empty cup as I spun it in my hands.

I was moody, angry, irritated, frustrated, livid, turned on but not wanting to be. The only way I knew how to deal with this was to drink, the hard stuff and a lot. Then my mood would feel completely better or I would cease to be aware of any of those negative emotions I wasn’t good at handling.

“I like the way you think. Let’s get fucked up.”

He flashed a flirty grin and chuckled. Just like before, the somehow suggestive, husky sound went straight to my groin and caused my heart rate to pick up even more.

What are you doing, body? Don’t respond to him. He’s not your type. You like someone else. You like his freaking brother, for Christ’s sake. He wouldn’t like it, knowing that you were thinking dirty thoughts of his brother and hanging out now. He wouldn’t like it at all. Well, if he had any interest in me that was, which was impossible to tell at this point..

Four shot glasses full of flavored vodka came out. We clinked the glasses and then gulped them down in quick succession, hissing and shaking our heads as the bitter liquid went down leaving behind a rather foul, rubber like taste.

He leaned against the bar with his elbows on top and smiled at me. It was kind of sweet and sloppy, not his usual smirk or charming bright smile. It made him look kinder and younger, and prettier. He really didn’t need to get any prettier. I was already tempted enough to kiss him when he was irritating me with his arrogant smirk. Dammit… I have got to stop thinking like that. It was wrong, it was like me when I got drunk yet the person was all wrong. 

“You are good at drinking.”

“I guess. I do it a few times a week. How about you?”

“Same. But I started younger than you probably. I was drinking with college students when I was high school age.”

“Ah, were you? Did you have friends? Or did you come to school early?”

Just like last time. He avoided any personal questions and then directed a question back at me instead. “When did you start drinking and smoking by the way?”

“Ah, you saw me smoking? I thought you were too interested in the cheetah girl.”

“Cheetah girl? Ah, Suzy. Yeah, she’s pretty hot. Good on her knees if you know what I mean…”

He winked. I gagged, then shook my head, smiling with amusement despite myself. He was incorrigible. Definitely a ‘sex and then tell everything’ kind of guy.

“I saw you sure. It was weird. Hot blondie sitting by himself smoking a cigarette outside. Usually people come with their friends or a girl in tow.”

“I smoke pretty regularly. About near a pack a day, I think now? I’ve been smoking for a year. Drinking for…maybe four years? I had some kind of bad influence friends in high school that snuck the stuff back in my hometown. We’d go out to Haeundae at night and have a party.”

“Ah, that explains the accent. Busan guy? Busan guys are usually hot but I don’t think I’ve seen one as hot as you. You shouldn’t smoke though. That takes down your hotness by several meters. Plus, it’s just awful for you. You could die before you even have grandkids.”

“Thanks for the advice. Yeah, I know it’s bad. I’m going to quit. I’ve been cutting back,” I half-lied.

With my mind full of two different guys and the stress of upcoming tests, I had forgotten about my goal to quit. I difhtd need a lecture on the health risks. I knew how terrible it was, but a year was nothing. 

“Good to hear. So, what’s your story? You’ve got a girlfriend? Obviously not, if you’re going here. Unless you’re a total sleaze who ditches your girl to flirt with others.”

“Been single since a month or so ago.”

“Why’s that? She didn’t put out? She ugly? Psycho?”

“Of course not. We just didn’t…click. She was nice and cute. But the more that I got to know her, the less I liked her. She was just kind of boring, I guess.”

“What’s your type?”

 

“Nerdy, good school girl types. Glasses. Nice smile. Modest. Humble. Demure. Shy. Blush a lot.”

“And you think you can find that in a club?” he retorted with a hearty laugh.

I sheepishly grinned, embarrassed. “No, not really. I don’t date girls I meet at a club usually. I just come to drink and dance, let off some steam.”

“Have some fun drunken make-out sessions?” he joked with a flirty, attractive wink.

“I don’t…” I went to deny but then turned red, covering my mouth as I laughed. “Okay, yeah, maybe sometimes.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Young men, we’ve got needs and oats to sow.”

I snorted. “Oats, right.”

Who said that? That was some really old-fashioned expression for being promiscuous. It kind of reminded me of something that his brother would say. Maybe they had something in common since they were related besides their looks, maybe they rubbed off on each other.

 

 

We sat in a rather comfortable silence, watching the people on the dance floor grinding and touching each other and wiggling their bodies about. I recalled earlier when we had been dancing. Even just casually, he was a good dancer and he moved with natural confidence, swag and sensuality. I bet that transferred to the bedroom. I bet he knew how to work every part of his body to perfection. He looked over at me and smirked, as if he knew from the expression on my heated face that my thoughts had taken a naughty turn yet again.

I cleared my throat and scratched my neck, feeling thirsty and uncomfortable. He asked Dongho for our drinks to be sent out now. He had already had them made and left themnearby, waiting. He smiled at us and Jisung waved to me from behind the bar, looking much too excited about me being with this guy still.

Yeah, don’t get attached. I told you I don’t like him, I thought. Not one bit…

My eyes went straight to his lips again as he commanded that glass and drank greedily, his eyes closed and making hums of pleasure around the thick gulping sounds. My blood was boiling and the room felt hotter. How did that mundane action we all did look so freaking sensual? Was a handsome guy drinking alcohol always that hot? Or was I just having some sort of mental issue today?

 

 

The last drink was hard liquor on ice. I took the one that looked like whisky and sipped.

"Hmm, yum."

The brunette smiled, his eyes lingering at my mouth with a spark of lust.

"You like?" He asked with a playful, flirty tone.

"Maybe I do maybe I don't. What do you think?" I flirted back for some reason with a devilishly charming smile of my own he appeared to appreciate.

 "I think you like it despite yourself fighting it."

I looked at his lip intensely. He was continuously biting and licking it, enticing me, waiting just within reach for me to give in when I was drunk enough. We were clearly not talking about drinks anymore. We were talking about our attraction to each other. There was a crackling chemical charge going on between us whenever we came in close contact it seemed.

"What's your type?" I tried to change the subject and ignore my hormonal impulses.

"Hmm, who knows? Guys like you? Girls like her?" He looked through his fingers like it was a telescope at several people. Then he shrugged.

"What does type matter? Since you are excluding yourself to one type, you're missing out on a lot of fun times. You're spending months alone, waiting for the right person to come along. But say you have a shy, nerdy, quiet person you like. Can you get close to them? Can you take care of them? Fix their insecurities? You're going to get tired of that. I think it might be better for you to go for an easy-going type. Nerds are such a troublesome bore. Sure, they may be cute but you're going to be wasting time with him. You can't make him visible and confident."

Somehow, I grew angry. I felt like maybe he knew exactly who I liked and was personally insulting him. I didn't want to straight out say I knew his brother though. They might have some family issues I didn't know about and he might be talking about someone else.

"Maybe I can't. But if I like someone I want to try that for them. I want a relationship that promises to last long and have meaning. I don't need someone who is easy and fun and that everyone likes. In fact, I enjoy the challenge and the idea that I can make him feel loved for once because he deserves that."

"Sure, everyone deserves love. But what if you are taking an interest in him not from love but from pity and because you want someone you can get unconditional love from that you don't have to share? He should learn to love himself and build his own confidence. Otherwise it's fake and without you who he fully depends on for that feeling, he crumbles because he can't stand on his own.You can only help him with that so much. I'm sure someone has tried to help him before but it didn't work out for that reason and in the end, it added to his insecurities and greatly hurt him."

 I was surprised I was having a deep philosophical discussion with this man. I thought that he was just insulting his brother but now he just sounded like a protective brother.

"Anyway, that sort of relationship has a high chance of failing and being exhausting. He won't let you in easily and then when you're in you're going to feel overwhelmed by what you see, maybe even run away. His insecurities may run a lot deeper than you're thinking. I think that it's going to be too tiring for you to handle. So, I bet you will end up smoking a lot more and you won't be such a bright guy. It's a gamble that could affect your health and mental wellbeing. Think about it before you fully pursue that kind of type."

 "Ah, I see what you mean. I will think about it."

 I didn't really and I wasn't going to think about not pursuing my tutor. He was so perfect and lovable. I was going to get with him somehow. I didn't care about whatever issues his brother was warning me about.

He shook his head and smiled. "I would be much easier for you to get, but of course you're going for the hard route, so you're likely to get burned." He muttered so I barely heard what he was saying.

I sat up to hear better, feeling like he was insulting his brother.

"I have a half a mind to punch you. Watch what you say!" I slurred and swung a fist at him.

My aim was far off and the power I put behind my arm made me spin. The brunette caught me and helped me to the seat.

"Seems I found your limit. At least I win this game. I can handle liquor better than you," he said smugly.

 "I'm drunk not!" I slurred, waving a finger at him and then flicking his pointy nose as I hiccuped. He chuckled, continuing to hold me around the back in case I slipped or tipped.

 "I'm fine~ I'm not drunk. Hands off!"

 He let go and handed me my drink with a look of extreme amusement. From then on, the infuriating, much too sexy for his own good brunette and I started chatting about various things. As we talked, he stayed uncomfortably close, enough so that I could get a wiff of his cologne and the smell of his shampoo. It was intoxicating.

 

 

"What's your major anyway?"

"What's yours?" He fired back with that playful impish smirk.

"Psych."

"Something similar. I'm taking a break from school."

"So, you're working then? What sort of job?"

He didn't answer that specifically, saying that he did part times and hung out with his crew most of the time.

I tussled my hair and banged on the bar with a sudden rage coming out. "What's your name then, at least? Why won't either of you tell me that basic thing? It's so freaking frustrating."

He merely fixed my hair and looked at me with a strangely soft and sad smile, his dark chocolate almond eyes full of secrets and complicated emotions, and guarded just like his brother's. He didn't ask who I was talking about or deny they had some kind of connection.

"You don't need to know my name. Anyway, I won't be around much longer."

"Are you moving? Transferring to another school?"

I was curious and worried. What if his brother left too?

"You didn't finish your drink."

"Hyung! You're so irritating. Why do you evade any question I ask?" I whined and stamped my feet, spinning the bar stool.

He gave a throaty, attractive chuckle and pressed the drink to my lips, encouraging me to drink the rest. "Hey, you finally called me that. Good job. I will answer some questions. You're just not asking the right ones."

"Like what?"

 I finished my drink and blinked up at him. I bit my lip, stopping myself from saying he has really pretty eyes. He touched my cheek and whispered into my ear again, brushing the rim with his silky, warm lips, making me squirm, heat, harden, and flush. Man, how he could affect me, this master of seduction.

"If you ask me if I will take you to my bed, then I will most definitely answer that."

I pushed him away, flushing furiously. "You wish. Sorry, but you are really not my type."

He laughed brightly, looking extremely amused at my rejection instead of angry or hurt as he should be.

"You're not drunk enough. I heard some rumors about you from some girls I was hanging out with from your school. It seems your tastes severely change when you're no longer just tipsy."

 Evil, he looked so hotly, purely evil now with his dark eyebrow and his silky wet red lips crooked up. I wanted him fiercely. But shit, he was my crush's brother. I couldn't fool around with family, no matter how insanely attractive. If me and the tutor dated later and I bumped into this guy while visiting his home it would be so awkward. Not to mention, if he said something, it would hurt my crush. And I certainly couldn't trust him not to say something.

"That's why you bought me booze?"

He played with the rim of the empty glass, dark-chocolatey molten eyes bearing into my soul. I inhaled and groaned, biting my lip harshly as I imagined the feeling of his finger tip caressing my sensitive nipples. What the fuck, I am seriously way too drunk and horny now, I need to get away from him.

"Maybe. I also wanted to chat with you. You're interesting. A challenge. You are attracted to me but you also hate and slightly fear me. Your body says come over but your eyes say 'stay away, no don't, wait, go away.' I've never seen someone respond to my advances in such a wishy washy style the way you do. It makes me want to tease you and get under your clothes..."

What the hell was this guy saying? He wanted me because I rejected him and clearly didn't like him? What a dark, twisted pervert. 

"Um, thanks for the drinks. I've really had too much. I bet my friends are tired. This isn't usual for them. I should collect them and get going back to the dorms."

"Hmm, I don't think you should really be walking on your lonesome."

 

 

I tried to shake him off but he followed me as I tried to find my friends. If I wasn't freaked out by what he had said earlier, I would appreciate how he took care of me, making sure I didn't bump or trip too hard. I told him what my friends looked like and he pointed them out. We started walking that way. I kept telling him to let me go and I didn't need his help anymore but he ignored me, proving to be extremely stubborn. Also a quality he possibly shared or picked up from his brother.

 Just before we reached them, he tugged my arm and pushed my back up against an electric neon colored shining pillar. He had my arms pinned and our chests pressed together in case I struggled. I couldn't budge. He was a lot more solid and stronger than his frail lithe frame would suggest. He was smirking at me like an arctic wolf that just caught a rabbit for lunch.

I glared at him and snapped, "What the fuck?"

Before I could get another word out, his lips crashed on mine. I froze in surprise. He pecked me a few times and then nipped and licked at my lip, trying to get me to open my mouth. I was drunk, true. I thought he was hot, true. But I wasn't far gone enough to act on my impulses like he was. I refused.

Then, he bit my lip. I gasped and groaned as that was something I happened to find my weakness, I liked biters. Not that I got many girls like that. There was only so many guys I had been with that appeared fierce enough to challenge me for the dominant position. This guy was feeling like one of those rare ones and it was extremely tempting.

 I could just give in once, couldn't I? No one could put the blame on me when I'm drunk and he made the first move. I could say I hated it later and it had all been forced. No one needed to know the truth, that part of me has been wanting it which were the signs he had been picking up on that caused him to keep coming on to me.

 I didn't have much time to deliberate until he was thrusting his tongue in. It was a bit gentler of an approach than I expected. He knew how to kiss; he coaxed and took what I was willing to give him gratefully. I merely let him explore and lightly kissed back at first. His hands intertwined with mine and he raised them to near my head, rubbing my thumbs with hissoft, cool ones. He pulled back to look at me for a second reading my expression.

All I could think was I liked the taste of him and the drink he'd had and I missed the feel of his soft gentle lips and that he had the most beautiful eyes, full of so much mystery and emotion I couldn't begin to sort through.

Who was this guy and what the hell was he thinking exactly? What did he want with me? He could literally have anyone in his bed. Why was he approaching someone difficult and unwilling like me? Was he really that into challenges?

 I was torn from my thoughts as he closed his eyes, turned his head, and gave me the most mind blowing, breath taking kiss. I seriously felt like he took me into the clouds and gave me a piece of heaven.

"Woah…” I muttered against his mouth when he released me what felt like years later.

I blinked as the world slowly came back into focus behind his pretty close face, the sound of trap music returning. He smiled smugly and brushed my cheek with his thumb. I was flushed, hot, embarrassed, aroused. I was smouldering and all sorts of disoriented.

"Tell me, Kang Daniel. Was that just alright?" he said in a husky, smug tone.

He threw the words back at me that I had said to hurt his pride when we said goodbye last time. Okay, meeting him, flirting with him, touching him, and kissing him had all been much better than just alright but I hated to admit it and hated myself more for feeling so much for this jerk who was totally opposite of my type. If only it wasn't for that freaking face that seemed to have some drug like effect on me.

"That was far from alright...." I admitted grudgingly. "Were you getting back at me?"

"No I wasn't really angry then. I just thought kissing you might be fun even then. And I realized since I annoy you that this could very well be the last time that I see you. Though I hope that with this, it won't be. Don't hate me, Hot Stuff. You will understand things in time. Come back here soon. Remember, my time is limited. So, if you want me, you've got to take advantage soon..."

I stared at him with confusion, my heart racing still from the kissing and his close proximity, my skin tingling at his touch and aching for more. My body was screaming at me that a hand and cheeks were not enough. Dammit, I wanted more even knowing he was my crush's brother. I was all sorts of fucked up and much much too drunk to function properly.

 "If only it wasn't for your stupid beautiful face..."

He chuckled and smiled smugly, his pretty almond eyes sparkling. "I have quite a pretty remarkable face, I know. I bet it will appear in every dream the next week. You know where to find me when you miss me. I hope next time you will stay for the after party. Now go to your friends, they don't look so hot and they've been calling your name this whole time."

Shit, I had been so engrossed I just noticed. Damn this amazing kisser. I pushed him off and muttered that I had to go insisting I wouldn't come back here and that he took me off-guard with his assault this time but never again. He caught me and pecked my swollen lips again, then whispered against my ear in his seductive fashion that he was good as a ninja at sneak attacks so I had better be prepared. I hurried away after, feeling dizzy and like a big headache was coming on.

 

 

"Daniel! Where have you been?"

"We've been looking all over for you?"

 "Did something happen with that guy?"

"I don't want to talk about it. It was a drunken mistake that will never happen again. Because I'm done coming here," I grumbled irritably, rubbing my mouth with the back of my hand as if that would wipe out the memory of the feel and taste of him.

That of my crush's freaking twin brother of all people I chose to fool around with. Holy crap, did I feel like an ass. All I wanted was to get outside and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes in one night. I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to face my tutor next week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the steamy messed up cocktail that will f*** you over completely the next day, bad boy Seongwoo haha. He's quite the roller coaster. He's full of mischief, wild, unpredictable, uncontrollable, obnoxious, funny, sexy, flirty, seductive, and mysterious. He acts like he hates his brother and then he acts like he's trying to push Daniel away for his brother's protection. He constantly acts like he likes Daniel but he claims that it's really because Daniel poses a challenge to him, he's turned on by rejection.
> 
> He's quite the oddball, isn't he? Hard to love but impossible to hate and very easy to find attractive and amusing. I'm still developing his character but bad boy Seongwoo is going to be even more complicated and hard to get a hold of on what his true emotions and intentions are than nerdy Seongwoo. If you feel just as confused and frustrated and attracted to him as Daniel, good, because that's how I hope he makes you feel. We won't understand him fully until much later on. Because to understand you have to know what his true identity is.
> 
> I'm sure you're all wondering what bad boy Seongwoo here meant about his time being limited and him not being around much longer. That is part of the mystery fantasy of this story. I hope that you can take guesses as to where he's going and if he's taking his brother with him. If they are really brothers or two people even in the first place? I would love to hear your thoughts on this character and this mystery.
> 
> I'm sure that you probably all like nerdy Seongwoo better but I'm actually very partial to bad boy Seongwoo though he's going to come out less. I just like the idea of a firecracker, seductive Ong who makes women melt just by whispering naughty things against their ears haha. Lucky OCs in my story ugh...
> 
> See you hopefully in a week or two! Thanks for reading so far! Please drop a comment.
> 
> <3 Raina


	5. Endless spinning, feeling dizzy...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel finds out about his tutor's problem with the creepy Dino professor and helps him find a way out of it and then works to keep him happy. The two gradually get closer and fall more in love in the process.

In the morning, the teacher was unusually late and I was voted as the class favorite to go get him. I stopped outside of his office when I heard voices. It was a familiar tone--airy, gentle, clear.

I peeked through a crack visible between the window frame and curtain. Hyung was there, looking as adorable and pretty as ever. Today he was dressed in camel and cream colors, everything oversized hiding his tiny frame. He had his head bowed and he looked uncomfortable. In fact, he looked like he was on the verge of tears.

The professor was scolding him. Then he suddenly softened, smiling and reaching across his desk. Hyung flinched, looking like he wanted to jump out of the chair screaming, but he merely sat there frozen with a look of fear and distaste that was barely visible as the professor stroked his cheek like a lover would. 

What in the hell was this about and why do I need to see it? Most importantly was that hyung didn't like it. I couldn't sit by even if I didn't understand their relationship yet. I had a feeling this was a one sided love though.

And that guy was married and ancient and a professor. Hyung being with him was all kinds of trouble and gross enough to make me want to lose my breakfast. I knocked and opened the door.

The professor jumped away with a guilty look and frowned at me. Hyung looked at me like I was a savior. He had unshed tears in his pretty, bugging eyes. I flashed him a sweet sure smile like 'don't worry, I'm here to save you hyung'.

"Hi hyung! Shouldn't you be in class? You too, Professor. We're waiting for you. Class time passed."

He put on a greasy smile. "We were just discussing his next assignment for me."

Liar. You were so not discussing that. You were hitting on him. Why else would he be near to crying? Probably threatening him to have sex with you, dirty crusty sleeze.

"Ah, is that so hyung? Why didn't you say so? We shouldn't have secrets between us."

I put my arm around him and kissed his cheek. Hyung turned red and touched where I had boldly put my lips.  The professor was staring and gradually getting enraged. "What was that you're wondering about? I'm actually bi, Teach. This hyung is mine now. Thank you for introducing us. We've been getting along extremely well."

"Er, that's good I guess..."

He was biting his tongue not to say something else, his eyes full of jealousy, his face turning near purple with rage he was trying to contain.

I whispered to the nerdy brunette, "Here's our chance. Let's go."

We stood up and I held my tutor's hand. The professor glared there and then at me murderously. Hyung looked taken aback, then he smiled slightly and intertwined our fingers. My heart did summersaults. We both grew a bit hot in the face but kept up the act. 

"I'm going to walk this cutie to his class and then I will join you. I hope you can understand being late this time. You wouldn't want your precious assistant lost or in trouble with his perfect record."

The professor nodded and told us to go. Though he told my hyung to come see him again after his classes were done before our tutoring started. I was kind of surprised that was still going on. It was pretty clear we where fighting over him and I was winning, so I figured he would want to come between us. Maybe he was worried about his image if I spread rumors or went to the board.

Hyung squeezed my hand and I noticed his pink bow lips were shaking like he was a second away from bursting into tears. I rushed him out of the office and took him to a secluded area. Suddenly, he was in my arms with his head buried in my chest.

"Woah, hyung, what happened there? What was he saying to you that you're like this?" I asked softly, my heart breaking.

I could barely enjoy our first hug because I was worried about why he was sobbing and tempted to go and punch that old jerk, even if it got me expelled. No one made my cute hyung scared like this.

He clung to me and kept crying. I pet his back and hair, shushing him like a baby. He fit perfectly in my arms, though he was really too small and fragile feeling considering his sex and size. Maybe he didn't eat much from stress and being busy?

I pocketed his glasses so it was more comfortable for him to cry. After several minutes, he was lightly shaking and only sniffling, so I figured he was calmed. I lifted his chin to get a look at him. His pretty face was ruined by tears and snot and red puffy skin. I chuckled as I wiped away his tears and cleaned under his nose. He turned red with shame and avoided my eyes, sniffling like a kitten, his pale, pointy nose twitching.

Cutie...

"You feeling better now?"

He nodded.

"That was quite the fit there. Something happened?"

He nodded after some hesitation and bit his lip as tears filled his eyes again.

I pushed subtly with a friendly tone, "You can tell me. I will understand and not judge and keep it to myself."

Hyung shook his head. I wiped the tears as they fell and caressed his freckles wet and pinkened.

"If you don't tell me, hyung, I'm going to go in and beat the shit out of him until he tells me." I warned.

He grabbed my arm, stopping me from going there.

"He told me..." He choked. I stroked his back encouraging him to go on. "He told me he's liked me for a long time and he... scolded me for saying I wanted to quit the job. He said that he wouldn't let me quit ever. He said I was his. And he touched me and said things like I was gorgeous and he wanted to be with me ... physically."

I gulped, my skin crawling and my blood boiling with jealousy.

"What did you say? Was that the first time something like this has happened?"

His lips quivered and his eyes grew wet. I held him around the waist and rubbed my thumb over his shirt.

"He has made it pretty obvious. I just tried to ignore it. But today I told him that I wasn't interested and he made me uncomfortable. I respect him as an academic but I couldn't see him that way. Then he insisted I just needed time to get past him being older and a teacher. That I would come around, faster if I let him make love to me and see how good we could be together."

"Jeez. I'm sorry hyung. That must have really freaked you out. Of course he's not your type. No time will change that. And he touched you without permission. That sleezeball. I will beat him up if you ask."

Hyung accepted my hug. I squeezed him but not too tight. I wanted him to feel cherished and cared for. I would never force myself on him though I probably felt similar to how the professor felt. To his credit, he did seem to have genuine feelings but he was going about showing it all wrong. No wonder he looked scared and uncomfortable while around or talking about the professor.

"Let's skip class and get food? You can just say you were sick."

"Okay..." he sniffled and nodded against my shoulder. 

First, I put his glasses back on carefully. Without them, he resembled his brother too much and I found it unsettling and distracting.

We walked to the school cafeteria with my arm around his waist, he didn't say anything or try to push me off. He picked at his food until I force fed him like a baby which earned me a flush and a shy smile. He only ate about half the food on the tray though.

"You should eat more, hyung. You look like a ghost. You're as thin as paper."

He flushed and stared at his fidgeting hands as I brushed his pale thin cheek. "I'm busy so I don't have much time to eat nor much of an appetite."

"Well then, I'm going to stuff you with the fattiest snacks whenever we meet up then," I said with determination.

He chuckled, hiding behind his sleeve as if he was surprised himself I had got him to laugh for the first time. I beamed with pride, my heart dancing to the musical sound I had been so longing to hear.

"I doubt I will be as busy now. I should be out of a job."

He sobered and picked at a string on his sleeve.

"I wouldn't be sure about that. I think you should quit personally. But he likes you and relies on you so he wouldn't so quickly cut you out of his life. Otherwise you wouldn't see each other anymore. He wouldn't want that, I suspect. If he gives you any problems, say that you have someone. Use me if you need. I already gave him a show."

Hyung touched his cheek where I had kissed him and turned red. His glare was quite cold though.

"I told you not to get involved with me and my personal life. It's not good for your studies. You could have jeapordized your chances. What if he gets jealous and knocks down your score? At this rate, you will fail the class and it's not like you can avoid him forever. You might struggle to graduate. Because you did that for me. I'm not worth that."

He turned sad and guilty then. Jeez, he was so mercurial, even more so than his brother. His emotional reactions were all over the place in extremes.

"That wouldn't matter to me. Your safety is more important. Which is why I would prefer you quit or use me to keep him away. I'm not so ugly and jerky and stupid you would be embarassed to say you're dating me, am I?"

He giggled again, flushed, and shook his head, his pretty eyes flickering to mine with an amused warm sparkle to them.

"Not quite bad enough to the point of embarrassment but I'm not sure I would brag," he teased.

"Hyung, that was mean!" I whined and pouted.

I had no idea my hyung could crack jokes. He reached out and held my hand, his eyes full of warmth and kindness. I was in love with that look immediately.

"Thank you for rescuing me. I'm not sure what he would have done back there..."

I squeezed his hand and laced our fingers together, wishing this amazing contact would go on forever. His touch was amazing and again I felt like we fit so wonderfully.

"I was watching from the door. If he tried anything, I would have round kicked his face in."

"I'm sure your b boy moves would suffice to cave a skull in..."

I beamed. "How do you know about me b boying?"

He took his hands from me and played with his chopsticks as he stuttered a response, "Just my brother mentioned you...at the club..."

Shit, which time? Did he mention what happened most recently? Would he be angry if he knew that his brother came on to me and we had a drunken kiss? I chewed on my lip and jiggled my knees, suddenly very anxious and guilty. I felt like I had been cheating and was about to be caught.

"How much did he say...?"

"Just that you had a battle. And you're an awesome dancer. And that he finds you hot." Hyung shrugged.

I sighed with relief.

"Did something happen with you two?" He asked suspiciously and there was a twinke in his eyes similar to his brother when he teased me. As if he was all knowing and messing with me for sheer boredom relief.

I waved my hands and head frantically. "No, never! I really hate your brother. Total ass. He said something rather insulting about you or, er, maybe people like you. I almost caved his face in then honestly."

Hyung asked me to relay what his brother had said. I made it more gentle. Hyung nodded and pursed his lips, tapping his finger on it as if he was in deep thought.

"I totally agree with that observation and advice."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. My brother knows me well. He is very right too. I should get confidence from within not from someone else. If they were to disappear yet again then I could be worse off than even now..."

"Again?" My perked ears at that. "So he was really talking about you? Who hurt you before? How?" 

Hyung got up with a small sad smile. "I think that's enough chatting, Daniel. It won't help you, only hinder you in your studies to know about my morbid, lonely, pituful past. Believe me, it's better if you don't know. All anyone can offer me is pitty. They can't understand or help or even give half decent advice. My situation is unique and complicated. Thanks for helping me with the professor but I think it's best you avoid the rest of my issues. You have enough on your plate."

With that, he waved and took his tray away. When he passed the table on his way out, he promised to see me at tutoring later that day. I gave him a breezy smile and waved but when he was gone, I put my head in my arms and sighed as I stared at the door I had seen him walk through. I felt like I missed him and I was more worried than ever about him.

I wanted to know everything about him and help him anyway I could. But just like his brother had said, he wouldn't easily open up to me or anyone because he was scared of relying on someone and being burned again. Wasn't it?

I wondered who had hurt such a sweet cute person in the past. Then, I wondered why his brother didn't try to help him instill a bit of his bubbly, confident, witty personality in him so that he could like himself better? That's what I would do if I had a little brother who was an extreme introvert. 

Unless my tutor didn't want his help? Did he have a bad relationship with his brother? But then, something about the way that his brother was talking at the club suggested that he did care and he was protective of his brother, if not frustrated that he wasn't changing or opening up to people to try. 

These twins  were so complicated. I was starting to feel like a therapist. Except I cared more for the well being of one than the other. Granted, I didn't know much about the more bubbly, secretive one. He had said that he was around temporarily. That still concerned me. Just him, not his brother. So did that mean he was going to run away leave home and abandon his brother?

I wondered if my tutor would be better or worse off because of that. His issues could stem from always being compared to his brother. He could have been left for his brother by his lover or something dramatic and cruel like that. 

 

 

When I got to the meeting place, the brunette wasn't there yet which made me anxious. He had been saying he was going to meet the professor first. I sat down with my books and a snack and got to work.

My tutor bowed and apologized profusely when he came in twenty minutes late. His eyes were red and he was avoiding eye contact. He had been crying again.

"Hyung..." 

I tried to reach for his hand. He quickly pulled it far out of my reach and flashed a fake smile full of sadness and other complex emotions. He was pushing me away. Dammit...

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Focus on yourself."

"How can I when you look like that..." I muttered, glaring at my books and straggling my pen. 

I wanted to bop him gently on the head for being so infuriating yet lovable. He looked exceptionally cuter when he had been crying and I wanted to hug him hard. I sighed and put a pile of snacks and several kinds of juice on the table.

"Just eat then please. Then I promise I won't ask and only worry silently." 

He nodded and reached for some chips. Oh, so he did like salty things as well? Cheese flavored.

"Oh, these are my favorites."

"Sorry..." he took his hand off of it. 

I chuckled, opened the bag, and set it in front of him. "I'm not that hungry. This is all for you. You're too skinny like I said and apparently you need someone to force you to eat. So, that's what I'm going to do. Stuff you like a pig."

I kept watching until he ate half of it, encouraging him to eat more and feeding him on occassion. We studied and ate silently. I told him that I would stop studying if he stopped eating. Then, he insisted after two more bags he was too full to eat another bite. 

I smiled in satisfaction and cleaned up the mess. We went back to studying. I looked at him every once in awhile. He appeared lost in thought at times and other times lost in the book he was focused on--today was the psychology of gender.

"Is it that interesting?" I wondered out loud.

"Hmm..." He hummed as he rolled the purple high lighter I gave on his lower lip.

I was pleased to see that he was still using it. I kept asking him questions because I just wanted to hear his voice some more and get him not thinking of his issue with the professor and his past or his family, whatever was overwhelming him. He offhandedly answered for awhile until he got irritated and snapped at me to focus on my studies or he was going to scold me hard core. I apologized and acted disgustingly cute which earned me a snort and a sassy eye roll.

"Focus on your work, Daniel. I'm going to test you on your memorization abilities next time. I suggest you start."

His eyes sparkled with music behind that troubled sad look that was there since last week and grew worse since this morning.

"Okay hyung," I promised with a breezy smile.

After studying for thirty minutes more, he checked my notes and nodded in approval.

"No NG today?" I asked with a playful tone.

He narrowed his eyes and pressed up his glasses. "I'm still searching for something. Just because you acted like a black knight doesn't mean I'm going easy on you. Be aware of that and don't slack. Or play cute."

"So you do find me cute? I was wondering if my charms failed to work only on you," I chuckled, wiggling my fingers under my head with a cheesy smile.

"NG!" He said with a triple ex. 

Why was that a triple NG? I laughed more, covering my mouth so the noise wouldn't carry enough to distract others. Flirting with him was an no-no? Or being cute? Or asking what he thought of me? With how uptight he was and awkward after we hugged and sort of kissed, I guess it was all of the above.

He hadn't mentioned it but seeing as he was blushing and avoiding eye contact constantly, he was probably remembering that. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. I was hoping we could get closer this week but my display and physical contact may end up driving him away. I decided I would lay it on less thick, though I was still going to show I cared and worried in a subtle way.

"What techniques do you have for me today, genius?" I asked.

He lit up, seeming happy for the distraction. First, he looked at me and his nervous fidgeting stopped.

"Well, I was thinking next we could focus on the most important thing when studying..."

 

 

This time's lesson was about concentration techniques. First, he had me organize all my things in a manner that was neat, easy to see and reach, and not in the least bit distracting. He had me clear up all the unnecessary things I had brought like the trash from our snacks and shut off and pocket my phone. I even had to remove my rings and watch. 

He had me try to remove all mental distractions by focusing on here and now and to set schedules, goals, and little rewards for myself such as a snack or a drink or being able to listen to one song after 15 or 20 minutes noting and memorizing one section of the chapter. He also had me try to relate concepts I found boring with mental symbols I liked so that it was more relatable and interesting so I could understand keep focus and maintain the information better, like using cats or meat or skateboards.

At first it didn't work well because I kept looking at him, wondering what was wrong, why he had come late, what had the professor said this time, how had he been burned in the past, how was his relationship with his brother,  and why he kept looking like he was on the verge of tears earlier. After he scolded me for wasting his precious time when he was an extremely busy person, I tried harder, hoping to get his praise again and maybe spot one of those rare, shy, beautiful half smiles or musical conscious giggles. I was rewarded with an okay sign and him saying "GG" which was internet speak for good good or good game, the opposite of no good in his mind.

I had nearly perfected all his study skills and tips already which he seemed impressed by. He told me that he was impressed by how much more focused and efficient I was already compared to the first day. I told him that he was a great tutor. He insisted I was just a quick learner, hiding a flush and bashful smile behind his sleeve as he played with his long, dark, unruly strands. I reached out and fixed his hair, my heart skipping when our fingers brushed. He looked down and jumped away, gasping softly.

I apologized, worried that I had literally shocked him or overstepped a boundary. He told me he was just skittish about people touching him.

 

 

As we walked out of the library together for the first time since he said he wanted to walk home to get fresh air, I commented, "You were the one hugging and crying on me and you let me hold your hand, if I remember correctly."

"Um, that was different. I was upset you know, and I wasn't able to think clearly."

I laughed, glancing at his embarassed face and the way he was furiously fidgeting and walking slow as if to hide.

"I kind of wish you got upset more often. That was nice."

He gave me a shocked look as if he was reprimanding me for saying something like that. "I know. That's another NG, right? But I'm not going to promise I won't say something like that again. I like doing this with you. Because, well, I think your genius mind can figure out the rest as to why I risked my grade this morning." 

He jumped and gasped as I grabbed his hand but to my pleasant surprise he didn't jerk it away as I expected.

"Mmm, maybe or maybe not. I'm not good at picking up social cues. Which is why I have next to no friends..." He muttered in a gloomy tone.

I flashed a brilliant friendly smile, squeezing his hand. "I wish to be considered one. If you need one, know I'm here volunteering."

"Okay..." He nodded wlith a shy smile and more flushing. 

I loved seeing the effect I had on him. I was used to it with others but it felt like I was on top of the world with him.

We stopped near some trees in the smoking section though the boy didn't realise. I released his hand to get my lighter and cigarettes. He made a face and pursed his lips, looking very disapproved.

"Are you aware of the dangers of the toxins you're inhaling into your body? Even just smoking one hundred times you are already putting yourself at risk of..."

I listened to him give me a health lecture as I smoked, chuckling at how he was knowledgeable about everything. Where did he get all these facts? Where did he have the time to study all that while keeping a 4.0 and working part time and interning? It was incredible. I wondered if he slept with the news podcast playing in his room all night.

I reached over and closed his mouth, putting out the cigarette I was only half way through. "Why does my health matter so much to you?"

He bit his lip and looked down, fidgeting with his coat. "I would say that to anyone. Smoking is an NG..."

"Major, yes I know. It's my vice. I need some way to relieve stress. I'm in the middle of cutting back. I will quit eventually before it does any permanent damage."

He furrowed his brows and opened his naturally pink, soft, very kissable even more so than his hot twin brother, kitten looking lips to argue. I pinched them shut and flashed  a playful, carefree grin.

"How about a trade? I will quit right now if you tell me your name." 

His doe eyes went big as any time I ask him some personal question he was terrified to answer. Then he turned away with a huff and stomped away. I took that as a no. I waved to him as I slipped out a new cigarette to enjoy in peace without the judgement. Funny, both brothers hated smoking.

"See you next time hyung! Have a good afternoon! Text if you ever need to talk! Don't talk to that wrinkly assface more than you have to! Be careful and no more crying!"

He waved with his sleeve slightly, not looking back. I could picture he was irritated and partially flattered that someone cared. "Bye."

  The next words I murmured softly as I took the end of the warm, comforting, uncomplicated cylinder in my mouth. "Miss you already and wish I could have kissed you rather than him..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all getting back to the adorable, shy, sassy nerdy Seongwoo who we are learning more about and seeing his insecure, crybaby, and even playful sides. If you picked up before on that professor being creepy about Seongwoo, you were very much right. He's got a thing for Seongwoo and has been flirting and coming on to him and touching him inappropriately the last few months he has been an intern. Ew, gross, he's a married crusty dinasaur. Daniel, the gentleman and knight in shining armor, luckily came to save the day but he couldn't prevent Seongwoo from crying about it and unfortunately he can't force the guy to stay away or punch him. He's just gotta mark his claim and make subtle warnings to the guy and hope that risking angering his professor with his grade on the line will be enough to keep Seongwoo safe and possibly get Seongwoo to trust, open up, and maybe sort of fall for him. You also got a glimpse of how the two 'brothers' interact and think of each other. Bad boy is right though, nerdy Seongwoo needs to be careful about getting attached and trusting too easily and he can only find confidence and love himself from inside. Hopefully his brother and Daniel can help though because he is the poorest loneliest soul. 
> 
> I personally love Daniel in this chapter. He's very manly, sweet, understanding, and caring. His interactions with the two Seongwoo's are very different. Because each Seongwoo has a completely different personality it brings out different sides of Daniel. Which I think is true in life but sort of more with other people. Daniel acts very different around Seongwoo compared to other members, like a gentleman and a hyung, caring and watching out and leading him. I just love their dynamic, whatever their friendship is. 
> 
> I hope you can tell me what you think. I really love reading your comments. Thanks for your support, hope you enjoy this story so far and have embraced that it will be confusing and full of mystery and off happenings. See you in a week or so~ 
> 
> <3 Raina


	6. Wondering where it will land on...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel sees Daehwi after a long time while he's visiting Jaehwan. The entire group adores him, especially Daniel and Jaehwan. Daniel gets to know Dongho a bit better after an awkward encounter. Dongho convinces him to go the club for a dance battle in which he could win a prize or cash. Daniel worries about going because he doesn't want to bump into bad boy Seongwoo but he ends up going out of curiousity anyway. As expected, hot and comical adventures continue as bad boy Seongwoo is there and he comes on stronger than ever that he wants to hook up with Daniel and finds him amusing and entertaining to mess with. Much too drunk, they pay a visit to the professor's house to give him a 'friendly' warning which gets out of hand. Daniel sees a wild, angry, impulsive and violent side of the hyung he is shaken up by in more ways than one.

When I came home from studying on my own at the library, I opened the door to the room and quickly shut it, my eyes on fire.

"Woah, put a do not disturb sign or a sock on the door or something! You guys don't know common courtesy? Jesus..."

Jisung called from the other side of the door, panicked, embarrassed, and breathless, "Sorry! I lost track of time. I know you said you were going to be back around five but..."

"Why is it a big deal, dude? We're all guys. You've done plenty of guys too, as I’ve heard. You've clearly done what you saw us doing. No need to be squeamish."

That was Dongho speaking. I shivered as I got flashbacks of them entangled oddly and the burly man on top, humping wildly. I just saw more of Jisung than I ever had and more of the bartender than I ever wanted to see.

"I barely know you dude! Obviously I'm going to feel awkward after seeing you screwing my friend in my own place! Now are you decent? I've gotta piss!" I shouted impatiently and banged on the door, doing the ‘I gotta potty’ jig.

The door opened. Jisung was there with a red, sweaty face, hair tousled and damp, his expression embarassed. I tried to smile at him and patted his shoulder.

"Next time, sock on the door okay? That's all it takes to get the message across."

Jisung scratched the back of his neck and looked down at the floor with shame.

"Sorry you had to see that. I really just forgot to look at the time..."

"Well, that can certain happen. Seeing as he was taking you for a hell of a ride. I had no idea you were that flexible~"  

"Daniel~" Jising gasped and smacked his chest, looking embarrassed further at the naughty comment.

"Don't be all shy and squeamish now. You weren't at all a few minutes ago. The things you said and the squealing like a pig, wow…"

"Right? My baby is a firecracker in bed."

Dongho appeared with only jeans on, riding low on his hips and fly unbuttoned. I felt envious of his body as soon as I saw it. He was ripped nearly like a body builder. As the couple chuckled and shared an intimate moment, I took a peek down my own shirt. I decided I would need to start hitting the gym more regularly and re-introduce chicken breast into my diet.

"Dongho, you should put on a shirt. I think you're making Daniel more uncomfortable."

"He's just admiring the goods. Your goods." The handsome guy with piercings took Jisung's hand and ran it down his glistening, sweaty eight pack.

Jisung hummed with a wicked, lusty smile. "Hmm, all mine? I like the sound of that."

I shivered and stuck out my tongue in an ‘ick’ face. "Well, if you guys could just keep it in your pants five minutes, I will go to the toilet quick and then be out of your hair. I can just go to a friend's place."

Jisung followed me and talked to me from the other side of the bathroom door as I pissed.

"Where will you go?"

"Jae's? Minhyun hyung’s? I don't know yet. Hey, dude, what is your workout routine? Your abs are insane!"

Dongho and I discussed various machines and techniques while I washed my hands and slipped out. I got some great advice I was planning on putting to the test from tomorrow night. I offered him a beer and we chatted then about bikes and cars and music.

Jisung cleared his throat, sitting on the bed, looking totally bored and put-out. We smiled with guilt and apologized for forgetting about him.

"Boys and their toys," he rolled his eyes and joked.

“One of my toys is you, baby,” Dongho winked. Jisung smiled shyly and flushed.

Oh, god. I saw where this was going. I needed to be out of here in a minute or I was going to be a witness to more live pornography. "I should get going."

Dongho looked apologetically at me after rubbing Jisung’s thigh. "I don't want to chase you out, Daniel. You can stay and chill."

"I like porn but I think I've had enough of live shows for the day to be honest."

"I have a part time job so I will be gone in an hour. If you can just chill with someone until then I would appreciate it, bro."

He was honest yet mannerly. Funny, mature, and cool. He worked hard and used his money on Jisung and toys. He liked the same things I did pretty much. I didn't even think about his profession or his old drug problems anymore. We could be friends someday. I smiled and offered my fist for a bump.

"I like you so I can do that sure, bro."

"Back at you."

He smiled brightly and bumped my fist. Jisung was smiling ecstatically that we were becoming friends and his new boyfriend had finally earned my approval since most of the other ones hadn't. I used to refuse to talk or even be in their presence.

"You should come to the club tonight. It's a special event. Happening around eight to ten. It's a dancing contest with a cash reward. I saw you last week. You were great. I think you have a shot at winning, at least it will make things interesting. The same guy wins almost every time."

I smirked and chuckled. I had some idea who that would be. I asked Dongho but he also didn't know his name. He was just nicknamed among dancers as the 'master Popper'. I had done my homework and I studied a bit. I wasn't going to meet the nerdy brother today. I could use the cash since I had yet to choose a new part-time job after I stopped delivering pizzas. It would be fun to dance again.

The guy might show up though and who knows what he would try. Who knows what I would let him do. Well, I wouldn't be tempted to do anything if I wasn’t drunk. I could just drink a little and try my best to avoid him off the dance floor.

"I will think about it."

"Hope to see you tear up the stage later."

"That is what I do," I smiled with pride, basking in the glow of compliments.

"Okay, glad you guys are becoming buds enough with the flirting. We were interrupted and time is ticking..." Jisung hinted as he wrapped his arms around Dongho's shoulders.

Dongho turned and kissed his lips, humming with appreciation. Jisung kissed him harder, digging his nails in his pecks. I sat up and quickly left, not wanting to see the continuation of the porno I walked into earlier.

"Wear a condom and stay clear of my bed please. Later and enjoy!" I called cheerfully as I hurried out of the dorm room.

 

 

I went to Jaehwan's room a few floors down. Luckily, he was home. With a sweet, frail, pale, cute, young blonde boy with huge deer eyes and a pretty smile. Score!

"Daehwi?" I exclaimed and ran across to the room.

"Hi, Daniel hyung! How are you?"

With the way that he sounded pleased to see me and jumped into my arms for a fierce hug, I doubted what Jaehwan said about his little brother’s thoughts of me.

"I have been great. How about you, Munchkin?"

I spun him around the room in my arms several times because he was so light, then I set him down and pet his fluffy, long hair. He was nearly a head shorter than me, so I had called him that since long ago.

He whined in a nasally, sweet tone, "Hyung, don't call me that. I grew! And I'm older."

"You're still tiny and in high school, so I can use Munchkin for a while more," I teased.

He pouted, looking all sorts of adorable. Jaehwan was watching me like a hawk. I didn't care about his protective glare. I grabbed Daehwi and pecked his cheek like I did whenever he did something cute. It was like a brotherly innocent thing but it pissed Jaehwan off to an extreme every time, which amused me and made me want to do it all the more.

I was serious about not approaching Daehwi until he was an adult though. I wasn't a child molester. I figured if he liked guys, he probably wouldn't honestly be interested in me because I was quite a bit older, the same age as his brother in fact. That would weird him out. He preferred people his age surely.

"Alright, that's enough reunion time. Hands off my cute bro," Jaehwan as expected noisily complained and cut in, pulling me off and then clinging to Daehwi like a koala.

"Always over-reacting. When your little brother is this ridiculously adorable, you should be used to it by now. People will always be all over him all ages and sexes."

"That's true, but I'm going to best off the nasty wolves."

"My fans say I am a harmless, adorable puppy. Do I seem like a predator?" I asked Daehwi with my hands out and a charming, sweet grin.

Daehwi shook his head, smiling in that pretty, heart-warming way he had. "Hyung is a harmless, noisy, playful, dorky puppy. Definitely not a wolf. Jae hyung is always exaggerating like that. He treats me like glass. It's so annoying. He is always chasing my friends away and making them uncomfortable. He's so clingy some people think we have incest issues."

"No freaking way? That must be hard. Good thing he's gone and you've got freedom."

"Seriously. My friends come over often and say the same thing. Even mom is happy that he's not singing around the house all the time, especially at night."

We spent several minutes sitting down on the floor hugging and lying on Jaehwan's animal pillows insulting him basically. I asked about his school life and his composing. He had a lot of things to catch me up on. He was very bubbly and his eyes sparkled as he talked rapid fire.

 I found it infectious as always. I totally understood why Jaehwan was overly fond and extremely protective of his brother. Daehwi was previous truly. He was the nation's sweetheart. There was no way you couldn’t like him.

"It's weird not to see you in your school uniform."

"Ah, is it the first time for hyung to see me in it?"

It was the first time I had seen him not in his yellow and black private art school uniform. He looked different. Older, prettier, and more mature. I pat his hair, sensing that he was concerned about how he looked with his sense of style.

"You look nice like this. You have great fashion sense."

Daehwi blushed and grinned wide.

"He does, doesn't he?" Jaehwan bragged, saying that he only wore clothes Daehwi had helped him pick out.

Daehwi was a talented kid--he knew about fashion, cooking, he was intelligent, got good grades, he could sing, dance, and he was good at composing. On top of his talents, he had his looks and his great personality. He was polite, sweet, soft-spoken, bright, bubbly, positive, sassy, and almost always smiling.

He reminded me a lot of myself or at least how I portrayed myself to be in order to be liked and get popular. Though Daehwi didn't have impulses and vices like I did. He wasn't fooling around with twins, he wasn't smoking, or drinking, hunting and then breaking girls hearts. He was much better than me and I envied him that.

Of course, I could have turned out that way too. I was pretty much like that until high school. However, I had always been imagining that my life would be very different when I got into college, wilder and fun, less predictable. That was my choice to stray down a different path.

Jaehwan butted it, stealing the attention of his brother, putting his arms around his shoulders and leaning on him. Daehwi pretended to be annoyed but it was clear they were close, adored, and had missed each other. Our friendly, lively conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. We called for the person just to come in since the door was unlocked.

In walked Minhyun, tall, elegant, and handsome as ever. There seemed to be flowers and radiating light following his footsteps.

"Hi guys. Daehwi, wow, pleasant surprise. What about school?" Daehwi jumped up into his open arms.

Minhyun held him tight and pet his head. "I'm on vacation. I am just visiting for the day."

I pouted at Jaehwan who was sitting on the floor, still comfortably munching chips.

"You called Minhyun? And why don't you protect Daehwi from him? Why am I the only nasty wolf?" I whined, jabbing my thumb at them.

They sat down soon and went back to munching as well.

"I trust Minhyun. He has a younger brother around the same age. And we all know your type," Jaehwan explained with a raised eyebrow.

"How is Jinyoung?" Minhyun asked Daehwi.

"Jinnie hyung? I heard he was going on a trip with his friends down south. He did well on his exams, so your mom let him go."

"Wait," I stopped them with my hand out, shocked. "Your brothers know of each other?"

Daehwi shrugged. "We go to the same school. We know of each other. We got kind of close this year since we're all in the dance club working on a performance for the talent show. We’re doing BTS covers. We meet up a couple times a week and hang out. See?"

He showed us some pictures of his friends. There was Jinyoung I recognized and three other people I thought looked familiar.

"Who are these guys? I think I know them."

One was probably Guanlin. The other two I thought were the dancers I saw performing at the club the first time I went. Woojin and Jihoon Daehei said were their names. They were famous for their dancing in the school and were sometimes asked to perform at events or clubs.

"Jeez Daniel, you've certainly got a lot of about to bud flowers to choose from now," Minhyun laughed.

"Though you won't get my brother over my dead body," he warned playfully.

I pushed his shoulder. "Just wait until I meet him. You can't do anything if he falls in love with me at first sight."

Jaehwan rolled his eyes and poked me with his toe. "How are things going with those twins? Even if they become of age and like you, you could be with one of them."

I strangled the sheep doll in frustration.

"Ugh, don't get me started with those two. It's so complicated. They won't even tell me their names. And the club guy I totally hate."

"You seemed to like talking to him at the bar."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "I was drunk. And I hardly liked it."

"He acts like we don't know him."

"Or see anything."

"Who? Daniel is dating twins that won't say their names? What happened?" Daehwi asked curiously, brightening up at a whiff of drama.

I shook my head, not planning to talk to the innocent boy about all that mess with the club guy. "It's nothing. I'm not dating either one. They're just... people I know."

"And want to get with."

"Or have with at least one."

The other two said through fake coughs. I kicked them and then they kicked me back and we had a good laugh. We spent an hour chatting about Daehwi's school friends and letting him know a bit about college while snacking.

Minhyun called Jinyoung to see what he was up to. He was busy with friends but spared us a couple minutes to talk to us all. He lit up in a different way when he discovered Daehwi was there and they had a sweet, excited, extra friendly way of talking to each other that suggested they were on close terms. I wondered if they maybe had some other feelings for each other that Daehwi wasn't letting on.

 

 

I was in a good mood after talking to my friends. I didn’t really feel like going home to play a game or nap. I decided to ditch my game session with Winkboy. I went to exercise and then I took a shower and got dressed up at home. Then, I went to the club where Dongho worked. I had two beers as I chatted with Dongho.

I half expected Jisung to be there but apparently he had a family dinner. Dongho then asked me about his family and I reassured him they were nice and knew about Jisung's preferences though he hardly introduced his boyfriends. I had a feeling though that someday in the future he would be, minus the drug issue in the past and the tattoo I had seen on his ass.

"Time to earn some extra money as I exercise."

“Beers on me when you get back. Thanks for keeping me company.” Dongho coolly saluted with two fingers.

I was finished with my beer and comfortably buzzed. I was feeling good enough that I wanted to warm up my body on the dance floor before the event happened. I couldn't find the decent, cute, nerdy girls I wanted, so I settled for ones that were less drunk and kind of cool. I had a good time flirting, getting into the music, participating in some physical contact. I didn't go as far as to kiss them or promise them something later. I simply flitted about, being social, warming up my body for later on the stage, basking in being popular.

Since that brunette wasn't around today, I was able to attract much more attention than when I was here this weekend. Several girls asked me to dance and I was courteous enough to give everyone at least a minute to dance and chat with me. If they were not too touchy and desperate seeming, then I stayed to the end of the song.

Eventually the event started. I looked around the room but I didn't see who I was looking for. I had been searching for him for the past hour but no luck of seeing that devilishly handsome face with that charming, sexy smile of his I kept seeing in my dreams. I felt just like the other night, half-relieved, half-disappointed.

I kept glancing at the door as Guanlin the DJ introduced the MC of the event and got our attention. I was waiting for him to come through with his friends. The MC announced himself, about the event, and about the prize: 1,000,000 won. The rules were simple and straightforward. We had the next hour to come up and dance to a song of our choice. We had to tell Guanlin the DJ our selection beforehand. Then, we all had to go up with a number and people would put their top three choices in boxes up on the stage for the next thirty minutes. Then, the top three would get prizes, first bring money, second and third being club coupons for drinks and free entries.

As I watched a few people go up, I had an eye on my competition and another eye on my surroundings. Despite myself, I was looking for him in the crowd. There was no tall, dark-haired guys surrounded by females in the room though. I kept glancing at the door I had seen ‘hyung’ come through the last time, wondering if he was out there. The door opened and I caught myself smiling wide, my heart racing and floating just a bit. That's where he had been. He had his arm around a girl with purple died hair and punky clothes. They were laughing about something.

His friends came in behind him, tossing their empty beer bottles, cups, and cigarette butts in the trash. I tried to make myself not visible as he approached but I was blonde and a head taller than most people around at least. It didn't take him long to spot me. He smiled and waved. I nodded, only smiling slightly and then pretended I was much more interested in the girl that was doing some cute girl group dance.

The handsome brunette dressed as usual in all back today with his hair messily in his face and his eyes surrounded by black liner. He looked like a total fox, making me gulp and heat. He turned to his group of friends and pulled a cute girl in glasses and a school uniform equipped with bowtie and cardigan. He put an arm around her and whispered to her, then pointed my direction. The girl smiled shyly, flushed, and waved at me before demurely looking down as if she found me too attractive to look at for long.

I shook my head and chuckled. This jerk...He had accurately created my usual type and brought her here, guessing that I would be here somehow and was planning on propositioning me for another after party. Why had I been happy to see him earlier? This was going to be another nightmare of a night.

I turned on a charismatic, breezy smile, to her not to him just to be polite since she was innocently caught in that spider’s trap, and waved. He mouthed that he would see me later and winked. I rolled my eyes and flipped him off. Then I crossed my arms across my chest and huffed with irritation. My mood was considerably downed as I watched the performers.

When it was his turn, he went up by himself not with his friends or usual trail of girls. He looked right at me as I talked into the mc microphone.

"I want to dedicate this to a new friend of mine. I think that we have sort of gotten off on the wrong foot and I've been misjudged. I'm really not that bad of person. Am I?"

His fan girls squealed and various audience members hooted and whistled and shook their heads, exclaiming all sorts of compliments about his dancing skills and looks and personality. People seemed to find him very cool, funny, admirable, and handsome. He was the beloved prince of this place.

"I hope that we can get even closer since he's a cool person." He smiled brightly at me.

'Whatever, just get your dance over with already' I murmured, motioning him flippantly to wrap it up and move on. I noticed others were starting to catch on and casting me looks. It was embarrassing. I didn't really want people to associate us as friends or otherwise.

Before he started dancing, he of course went around the stage, doing fan service and acting cute for the screaming girls. One brother was always alone while the other was always surrounded by people, I observed. When he got dancing though he was all serious and hot again. I was grudgingly amazed yet again by his popping skills. He had the most incredible flow and could put strength into every miniscule part of his body individually. He put more flair and speed into his moves than before. Even added some sexy teasing that made the girls in the crowd scream and guys cover their eyes.

I bit my lip as my eyes went of their own accord to his shaking bottom, the shapely thigh he stroked, or the creamy waistline and collar he exposed. Good lord, that body though. I had never seen a man so delicious. He was one of the first guys that made me tempted to fool around without me being on much influence of alcohol currently. I was tempted to pull him off the stage and start making out. Then, I remembered I hated him and very much liked his brother who was equally attractive. So, I curbed my animalistic impulses.

He bowed and flashed cheesy hearts and a bright, heart-stopping grin as he went off stage. The MC was praising him like no other as if he was a fan boy. I realized with irritation that no one really knew this kid's name. If his friends or fans knew, they had been instructed by him not to shout it.

I tried to ignore him but the people he was around were so noisy that I couldn't help glance that way occasionally. They were all over him with compliments. He was all smug, delighted smiles, clearly an attention whore. The girl he had been all over earlier came up and kissed him hard. He was taken aback at first but then put his hands on her head and kissed her back passionately with a lot of tongue.

Ugh, I hated public displays of affection to that extent. I rolled my eyes and turned my eyes to the stage. I recognized the negative feeling I was experiencing but really didn't want to address it. I actually felt jealous of that girl. I had issues clearly. Because this guy got under my skin.

 

 

"Enjoy the show?" I jumped as I felt a hand on my back and warm breath on my ear.

Dammit, I let my guard down. He had snuck up behind me. He grabbed my hips and pulled me flush up against his body, pressing his soft lips closer to my ear.

"Seems like you did. I can tell you're hard right now."

I shivered and flushed. I hadn't really been but now I certainly was. I could tell he was smirking. His fingers brushed my hip bones and slid down. I held my breath, anticipating where he would touch me. He kept going as he kissed along the edge of my ear. Down, down, down…

I closed my eyes and gasped as his hands reached my thighs and started going to the center. He was almost there, at the junction of my thighs which was hot, tense, and tingling. Then his hands were gone completely. I found myself groaning in complaint, hating that he stopped and feeling robbed.

He chuckled evilly in my ear. "Come to the after party tonight. We can continue this, in private. I have a girl that is your type. You saw her earlier. Her name is Sora..."

 I stepped away from him and shook my head. "I don't care if you get a whole nerdy cheerleading squad of girls for me. I am not going with you anywhere."

 He tried to get me to look at him but I wasn't going to. That could be dangerous.

"Hmm, seems you need to be reminded of just how good I am still kissing, Hot Stuff."

"No, I remember vaguely. I’m just not tempted for more," I lied.

"I've seen enough."

"Oh, I didn't impress, huh? Maybe I need to take you out back and show you what else I can do with my mouth."

I caught him licking his lips and looking me up and down like I was a steak he was craving after an entire day of fasting. Was he imagining what he could do to me? Shit, now I was imagining it and it was getting me hotter.

I glared at him and spat coolly, "If you try anything this time, I will punch your pretty face."

He smiled, charming as the devil. "Hey, you called me pretty. Thanks. You're hot though."

"I'm getting hot-headed because your pissing me off."

"Good. Maybe you will get violent. I enjoy that. Gets me hard. Let's go out back now."

He reached for my hand but I brushed him off. I decided to go up on stage then to get away from him because he was really pissing me off. When I went up, I looked straight at his expectant, smug, smirking face.

"I have a goal today. I'm going to become the new dancing champ of this place. And I have no intention of getting close to that person. In fact, I'm sure that he won't feel that way after I send him crying. Music please DJ."

To my surprise, the brunette came up to the front of the stage and was cheering for me louder than any other as I danced. You think he would get a hint. Did he not believe I hated him? Was he doing this to win me over after pissing me off? To be honest, the huge smile, the seal claps, the cheers, the respect and admiration he gave me as I danced made me work harder to impress and instilled me with confidence. I danced the best I’ve ever danced.

 The cheers for me were quite loud once I was finished. The man I hated was the first to greet me when I finished, insisting I come off the stage his way. He took my hands to help me jump down and held on to my wrist. I tried to shake him off but he held fast.

"You're amazing, Hot Stuff. Let my buy you a drink. Before you’re rampaged by admirers. I'm your number one fan, so I call dibs."

I was going to refuse but then again I did kind of want a drink and with him around people were less inclined to cling to just me. We were followed by his friends and a group of girls. He got me a drink as did a few others.

We casually chatted while drinking, standing next to each other. It was easier to talk to him after we broke the ice last time and the fact that we were both inebriated. He would subtly touch my back, arms, shoulders, or hand whenever he reached for a drink or mentioning me, his voice airily caressing the syllables of my name in a sensual, exotic sort of fashion. It made me shiver, my heart race, my skin tingle and heat. Even that subtle, rather innocent touch felt incredible and made me want more.

After a while, he told people that we had to talk about something and they should go make their votes before the voting time was up. The group left to write on their papers and put them in the ‘hopper’ boxes. I was talking to Dongho who got me another drink. He was reassuring me that I was going to win something tonight and he wanted some reward for convincing me to go.

"If you win, I should get a reward too, for going easy on you," the brunette joked as he sat next to me on the bar stool, nibbling on the rim of his full glass of scotch on the rocks.

"You certainly seemed to be going all out to me." I looked at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"Puh-lease~ If I was going all out, we would need to call several ambulances. That's why I never have. I'm too nice of a guy to hurt my fans."

 I snorted. "Nice my ass."

"Yes, your ass is very nice. I would like to bite it, hard," he murmured huskily, slipping closer and gripping my bottom firmly just above the chair.

I gasped and then glared at him. "It's off-limits to you, thank you very much."

He took off his hand and put it on my arm instead. "Can it be my reward if you take first then? Because I totally gave it to you."

 I rolled my eyes and shook off his hand there as well. "I don't believe you did. You're just saying that because you're jealous I'm going to dethrone you. You can’t stand to have even a bit of your pride wounded and taken down a notch, you arrogant prick."

He licked his lips and then chewed on his lower lip, his eyes lingering much too long and hungrily on my lips. I covered them consciously with my drink.

"That’s sexy beyond belief, arrogant, hotter than a tamale prick to you. Believe what you want. I'm going to get your ass someway or another."

"You believe what you want then. I doubt that will happen. Ever."

 "Ever's going to be today. I opened a tab. I will leave you here to stew and rack it up by drowning yourself in poison. See you later when you're more...agreeable."

There he was whispering in my ear the way I hated and stroking my thigh and back. I hated him. I wanted him. I was irritated, infuriated, and turned on beyond all reason now.

He left with a flirty wink and a charming, devilish grin, and the girl came that he had been meaning to introduce me to. He had signaled her over to work magic on me. She was friendly and talkative and not too clingy or flirty. I liked that. It made my mood better. Despite I knew it was that guy’s trick. The several drinks and shots we had as well. I had almost forgotten about the guy by the time results came out. The girl, Sora, and I went out to the floor, dancing until I was called up to go on stage with the other candidates for result announcement.

All of us stood on the stage while the crowd clapped and cheered for us. I avoided looking at him as he waved and flashed hearts to his fans acting as cheesy as ever. I waved and smiled to whoever said my name or was taking photos of me. The MC announced the results. I came first, he came second.

I was forced to stand with him in front of the stage. He kept looking at me with a flirty smirk and amused, mysterious eyes. We took our envelopes and pocketed them. Then, we had some photo time where he tried to make us seem close, using it as an excuse to touch me often in a casual, friendly way that still made my heart race and blood boil.

When we went off the stage I ignored that he was following me. I went to the girl that was waiting for me. Sora congratulated me warmly and kissed my cheek. I was pleasantly surprised and bashful. I caught him smiling smugly, the ring master of my future hook-up. His friends showed up, including the girl with purple hair. The brunette kissed her glittery cheek and tucked her under his arm. She was more than happy to cling to him, pressing her breasts full up on his chest which he didn’t hesitate to appreciate openly. He turned to me with mischief in his eyes and a seductive smirk.

"We're going to get going. After party, as usual. Coming with us this time?"

I looked at him with exasperated frustration. He knew my answer. Why did he keep insisting? But as soon as I went to say no, then Sora turned clingy and pouty and unbelievably charming. She looked like she would cry if I said no. I was sort of growing fond of her because she fit my type to a T, so I couldn't say no right out.

"Okay, but I can only stay out another hour…" I let the reluctance out of my voice so that they would understand I had to go eventually.

She squealed and hugged me. The brunette smirked triumphantly, his eyes flashing.

"I'm sure another hour will turn into another. Then, before you know what happened, you will wake up in the morning and who knows who you will be with."

The girls giggled, giving us flirty smiles that suggested they wouldn’t mind who they ended up sleeping with. His friends chuckled and smacked him lightly, joking about how he was always perverted and that they hoped just once the girls would turn only him down and leave him humiliated. We took a bus to his friend’s apartment. On the way, we bought some alcohol and snacks. Well, I tried to buy something. But the brunette took my basket last minute and paid for all of my stuff as well.

"I'm not giving you a reward even if you start acting nice," I insisted sternly.

"Who said I needed one? I was just being nice because I'm happy you finally joined us. I didn't think you would make it. I guess nerds really get to you."

"Yeah, you have no idea..." I said, thinking of his brother who was often on my mind.

On the bus ride to the place, he stuck by me, holding the bags though they were heavy. We ended up chatting and I brought up his brother directly.

 "My tutor is your brother, by the way. You’re twins."

"Ah, that's what he's been up to all those extra library hours. He's a genius, right?" He sounded proud.

I nodded and started going on and on about him. "He's smart, sweet, kind, cute..."

"Sounds like you've got a crush."

I blushed and shrugged, playing with the hair at the back of my neck sheepishly. I couldn’t deny that. I didn’t really even want to. I didn’t care if his brother knew I liked him and was bi.

"He's my type so...yeah, I guess it's inevitable that I do."

"Plus, he's gorgeous. We have the same face. Though he tries to hide it all the time behind those good awful glasses."

I didn't comment but I silently agreed. They were both gorgeous and it had a terrible effect on me. That had been proven several times over now.

"Does he have bad eye sight?"

"No, he just uses them to hide. He has major insecurities. He doesn’t like himself. He thinks he’s ugly and has a bad personality."

 "How did he get that way?"

"Well, he was born with them. He’s naturally meek, shy, introverted, and has low self-esteem. But some people made them worse. People he loved and trusted that he shouldn't. Which is why he doesn’t try to get close to anyone anymore…"

I went to ask about it but he told me that I should hear the rest from him himself.

"Can you tell me about what has been going on with the professor he works for? I saw them together yesterday and I picked up some weird vibes."

Suddenly he got furious and hit the window hard. "I can’t believe he's still working for that ass. I told him to quit ages ago. Then, the other day he..."

He took a deep breath to calm himself, seeming to have difficulties going on. My hear plummeted. Something terrible must have happened yesterday before our tutoring session.

"What happened then? I saw he had cried but he wouldn't tell me..."

His hands were balled into firm fists and he glared out the window. I implored him to tell me all he knew and held his hands gently. Eventually, he told me everything he knew about the situation which was just a bit more than I knew. His hands loosened and intertwined naturally with mine as if he was seeking comfort.

Strange things had been going on with that professor for months, his brother had noticed. That guy messaged and called my tutor outside of school hours. He flirted and eyed him shamelessly. There had been instances of inappropriate touching and propositions. But the other day the professor had kissed him and then threatened to drop his internship and give him a bad rep at school if he said something about it.

"He kissed him and he's threatening him to have an affair? I want to ring that guy’s neck this instant."

"Good idea. Let's do that. I know where he lives. I was going to go there if he wasn’t going to do anything about it. It seems like there's no hope. We've got to scare him off. I don't want to hear my brother getting raped next."

"What about the after party though?"

"You weren't going to stay long anyway. And I'm not really in the mood now for drinking. I can get you to join next time."

I smirked. "There may not ever be a next time."

"Well, if this goes as planned, I'm certain there will be many next times...for him and for me."

"What does that mean? I can't be with both of you. That would be the most fucked up three-some imaginable…"

Suddenly he held my head and kissed me sweetly. "Even if you wanted to be with me you can't, Hot Stuff. I'm not around much longer."

"Why? Where are you going? Is he going too?"

"I'm going to disappear. He will still be here. So, if you like him, you can go for him. Hopefully, you both won't end up hurting each other. Once he's a bit more secure and confident, I guess I can go. When he gets a really close friend who tells him something he needs to hear, then I won’t be needed and I’ll have no choice but to go."

"I don't want you to go...."

"That's sweet. I know you don't like me. I guess you are worried about my brother. But you shouldn’t be, not in those terms. He won't miss me either though, I promise. He will be better off without me. Everyone will be..."

“Why would you think of yourself like that? Lots of people like you…”

“Do you like me?”

“Not particularly…”

 

 

After that, he wouldn't talk about it. We couldn't if we wanted to. We were too busy kissing. I don’t even know how it had happened. I guess it was the way we were subtly touching, constantly staring and silently flirting with our eyes, sitting close together, and then the idea of him disappearing made me emotional. I wanted to blame it all on the alcohol, but this time I wasn’t so sure it was really just that. Something about him got to me and drew me in. Something about him seemed so misunderstood, moody, and lonely…

His friends turned around and whooped, encouraging us. We ignored them, lost in languidly exploring each other. We held each other’s faces and stroked each other’s hair as we switched angles, our tongues and lips searching out and then attempting to conquer the other, our breathing growing ragged and short from excitement and lack of oxygen.

We got off at a stop of his choice earlier than his friends. They all assumed that he was taking me to his house. Sora was disappointed and assumed I suppose that I was into guys and had just seen her as a toy. I apologized to her as we left but there wasn't time to explain and I had just met her so I didn't feel obligated either. The brunette held my hand and pulled me down the aisle.

"Hyung, slow down!"

God, it was really annoying not knowing this guy’s name. We talked we flirted we touched we kissed her drive me wild and made my heart race he was on my mind a lot of the time. Yet I didn't know his name. It was infuriating.

We waved to his friends as the bus left. They called out the window about using protection and not to stay up fucking all night. He then turned to me and we both smiled. Then he was suddenly attacking my lips out of the blue. Caught off guard I failed to push him away or hide How much I enjoyed it. Damn liquid poison in my system that fudged up my judgement. We were breathless when he finally pulled away and my mouth was soaked from our tongues in their passionate tango.

"What did you do that for?" I reprimanded wiping my mouth.

"I don't kiss for any particular reason if you haven't realized. I thought you looked sexy or hot or just adorable so I took your lips. Simple."

"How is that simple? You can't just kiss everyone you think is cute!"

"You're the first to complain," he shrugged.

I balled my fist and glared at him, strongly tempted to knock that cocky smile off. "Well, I am complaining. I don't like feeling objectified or harassed. So knock it the fuck off!"

 "But you like it when you're drunk. Which you have been and are right now," he pointed out. “So, that can only apply to when you’re no longer inebriated.”

I ran my fingers through my hair. His eyes followed me, filling further with desire like he found my gesture seductive and was contemplating attacking me again. If he tried again though, I was seriously going to punch him.

"Ugh, I really can't stand to be around you for even a few minutes. Drunk or just tipsy. You are lucky you’re his brother. I feel obligated to be nice and attempt to understand you when I really want to knock your lights out.”

"I am lucky, that’s for sure. He gave me such a pretty face. I get to have all kinds of fun with this. I even get to have hot make out sessions with you because you're so hung up on him you overlook the fact you hate me."

He smiled brightly and put his hands under his chin in the flower pose. I forced his hands down and rolled my eyes.

"Enough. You're so irritating. I hate cocky and narcissistic attitudes. If you keep going, I'm going to give you a whole new face, whether you're related to him or not."

He started walking towards a house and I followed him in silence, trying to ignore he was chuckling and smirking. I apparently amused him. Not my intention. I felt irritated all the more that he wasn't taking me seriously.

"Let's talk about your plan."

"That's the house there. I don't need to tell you the plan. Just go in and follow me. I can be very persuasive and scary."

I snorted, my mouth crooking up in a derogatory way. "Persuasive I believe. But scary no."

He repeated my actions. "Same to you."

I shook my fist at him and warned, "I've hit people in my school days. I can be pretty hot-blooded."

We both started punching the air competing with each other for strength. I was surprised to see that this guy lived in a nice villa instead of the typical apartment. That worried me because that means he probably had power he could use on us if we ticked him off.

 

 

We walked up to the door he said was the right home and rang the bell. The professor thought it was his tutor so he met us in. The guy fixed his hair so it was in his face and sounded all sweet and stuttering. Either he was a great actor or he knew his brother extremely well. For a second, even I was convinced.

The door opened. The professor was in his pajamas. The lights were all off and it seemed like his wife was still asleep.

"Why are you here? Why did you bring Daniel?" he asked in confusion, rubbing his sleep-encrusted eyes.

I greeted him politely with a bow, standing behind the other as he said he had a plan and I was just meant to follow. Hyung was no longer smiling or being charming and carefree like I knew him. It was like someone just turned a switch and the warm light went right out of him.

"I had something to tell you, assface. I want you to keep your hands off my brother. We are twins. He has told me all about you and how you propositioned and came on to him. This is his boyfriend. He has already warned you as well, from what I understand. But you forced yourself on him the same day, showing that you have no intention to abide. My brother needs your recommendation and you're going to give it to him. Without making him feel uncomfortable ever again. You're going to keep your disgusting, dirty thoughts and your grabby, wrinkly hands to yourself. You will not be with him physically, not even for a night. Won’t you?"

 I took back what I said earlier. This guy could be scary. He was calm but his voice was cold and full of fury as if he was holding back wild rage. His eyes shot daggers. The old man was shaking, appearing terrified. Then he remembered that he was older and we were students. He crossed his arms and pushed back his shoulders, trying to appear tough. It was funny to me because we were much taller and we were young and vibrant.

"What will you do if I don't do that? I can call the police right now and have you arrested for trespassing."

I stepped in to scare him some more, "Not a good idea to threaten us. I saw you with him. I’m a witness. I can go to the board and tell about you."

"Then he's out of an internship and recommendation."

 "Which is why we're going to do it my way. You stop touching my brother, he can keep his internship, and I won't kill you."

 "Kill him?"

“Kill…?”

Me and the professor’s eyes went wide and our bodies froze. Seconds later, the brunette was on top of the professor. He had him pinned to the floor with a knife at his throat.

"Shit, why do you have a knife? Hyung, don't do anything drastic! I know it’s upsetting but you don’t need to become a murderer!"

It was the first time I had ever seen a threat made with a knife. I held on to his arm and tried to pull him off. He was deceptively strong.

"Do we have a deal? Or do I need to cut you? I don't mind going to jail. I'm going to disappear anyway, might as well relax in a cell, fucking, sleeping and getting free food a few days."

 "Jeez hyung, what a thing to say..." I groaned pulling on him. The knife dug into his flesh and he started bleeding.

"Answer me, you ass! Will you leave him alone or do I need to kill you? He can't take it anymore. I'm not going to let you break that sweet kid! He's been through enough. He doesn't deserve this. You don't deserve him. Leave him the fuck alone!"

He was shouting wildly his face full of rage. I kicked the knife from his hands and pulled him off. The knife went flying across the floor. The brunette lunged up and hit the professor in the face several times. He started sprouting a bloody nose. It took me awhile to get him off. He was a lot stronger than his thin, waify body seemed.

 "Hyung! Enough. He's got the message. Give him a second to answer."

The professor was bleeding and crying. "I will not do anything to him. No flirting, no touching, no confessions, no kisses. I swear. Please don't kill me. I have a wife and a child to take care of. Please, no more..."

Hyung slid off on to the floor, looking relieved and calmed, back to his normal self much more. I pat his shoulders and then I went to pocket the knife.

"That's all we wanted, Sir. Sorry it got out of hand. We're both drunk and the other day he was crying after what you did. We both care about hyung, that's why. I hope you can understand. I don't want to fail your class. This was his idea and I don't think he had any intention to hurt you. We really just came to talk."

"I won't press charges and in terms of your grades, I won't dock anything since we already have a deal going on. But you guys should get out of here quick. I may have to change my mind if my family sees you."

I repeatedly bowed in apology.

"Ah, I see. Thank you. Sorry again. We were rude. Hyung let's go before we end up in jail. You're brother won't like that."

I pulled him up. Luckily, he followed. But he was glaring at the old man with clear distrust and dislike.

"You better not try anything on my brother again. That wasn't an empty threat. No matter how drunk I am."

I gave the professor tissues to wipe his nose. Then, I apologized again and took hyung outside. Once we were out, he shook me off and smacked me on the back of the head.

"Why were you nice to him, you idiot? I thought you liked my brother? I thought you hated him? I thought you were on my side. I thought we would rough him up together. Scare the crap out of him since my brother’s too nice and weak to."

I rubbed the back of my head and looked at him with exasperation. I still couldn't believe what had happened in there. I took out the knife from my pocket and shook it in front of him.

"I am on the side of sanity. Some threats, some violence, okay. The fair manly old-fashioned way, with fists. Not weapons. Why do you have this? Because I don’t know a single sane person who carries a knife around."

 He looked at it with a sheepish expression and tried to smile.

"Um, would you believe me if I said I was a boy scout?"

"No… but I would believe you if you said you were a dangerous ex-convict with a temper issue. No more of this. You're going to get drunk and end up in jail someday. I’m going to save you from that, for tonight at least."

I threw the knife in the bushes. He shrugged, back to his usual carefree, annoying smirk.

"Fair enough. I just carry it around for emergencies. I haven't ever stabbed someone. Not sure if you will believe me."

I sighed and shook my head, smiling back despite myself. I was still drunk, that’s probably what it was. "I'm not sure I do but I wish I did. Anyways, besides that. Are you alright? You got pretty scary right there."

"Yeah, I guess I just snapped. I thought I could be calm. But the thought of what I know he did to my brother and what he did that my brother is too ashamed to say, I get so pissed I can't control myself. I know that you just met him so you can't fully get him. He probably has barely opened up to you yet. That's normal though. After all he's been through and his hermit like personality. But if you knew everything that he's been through and how emotionally fragile he is, you would have come closer to killing him just then than I did."

I felt a strong feeling of sympathy then and I could understand how much he cared about his brother.

"I'm sorry that I doubted you about how much you cared for your brother."

"I just don't show emotions well. Or know how to deal with them."

He tapped his fingers near his eyes. Shit, he was tearing up. Before I knew it, I was hugging him. It reminded me of his brother earlier. The same similar weak, emotionally unstable, fragile look, though his was just a moment.

He hugged me and rested his head on my shoulder for a moment. He didn't sniffle or cry like his brother had though. He felt almost exactly the same in my arms. Their bodies must be the same just like their faces. I tapped his back in case he needed comfort.

"Your brother’s going to be alright. That guy will stop messing with him probably. You terrified him honestly. Hell, you terrified me and I know you as a totally different person. I will look out for him at school just in case. He's opening up to me slowly but surely. If something happens, he will come to me and I will beat the shit out of that guy."

"Do you think you can change how he sees himself? He really needs help with that. His confidence is so low. He just never got the love he needed from people. Nor acceptance. He needs someone to love him unconditionally. Do you think you can be that person?"

"Well, I like him a lot and I would like to do that but I'm not sure about love. I've never really felt that about someone, you see. Then, there's you and that complicates things."

He pulled back and cupped my face. I couldn't help staring. He looked so much like the boy I liked, so soft, sweet, gentle, and gorgeous. No smirk or flashing eyes.

"Why? Because we kissed a couple times? That’s meaningless~ I'm going to disappear soon. My time here is limited. And I'm not going to ask you to be serious or date me exclusively. In fact, I hope that happens with my brother so I forbid you to think of that with me. He could really use someone like you. I think he's starting to really care for you too. Don't give up on him. If you keep doing as you're doing. Try to spend more time in his company. Then I think you two will fall in love. Then everything will be perfect. He won't need me anymore. He will be fixed. You will both be happy."

I shook my head in confusion. "Why do you think he would be happy with you gone? Do you guys have a bad relationship? And for the last time where exactly are you going? Can't you just not go? For your family's sake and your friends?"

For me? I didn't say it but somehow I didn't like the idea of him not being around. Of going to that club and never having someone to flirt, banter, and dance battle with.

"We have a complicated relationship. We can't really see each other much. And I'm very independent and busy. We are different in every way. It makes it impossible to communicate well. He doesn't know I care for him but I do a lot. Without him... let's say I wouldn't exist basically. Without me, let’s say he can finally become the person that he’s always wanted to be and the quality of his life will improve once he’s instilled with that knowledge and confidence."

 I shook my head, narrowed my eyes, and pointed out, "Yeah, I don't really get it. And you didn't answer about the leaving thing."

He flashed a charming yet strangely sad and lonely looking smile. "Once my brother finds some way to feel better about himself, let's just say I won't be needed anymore. I will have no choice but to leave."

"So, isn't it better if he stays the way he is? Why help him and look out for him and push me to him? It doesn't seem like you. You seem..."

"Selfish? Reckless? Out of control? Yeah, I know that I seem that way. But I'm not fully. Not when it comes to him. Not even when it comes to people I care about. By nature, I am independent, impulsive, friendly, carefree, wild, outgoing, devil may care. I do and say what I want. I flirt with everyone and do every sort of bad thing under the moon. I live life completely on the edge without a care in the world. I'm the complete opposite of my brother except when it comes to one thing. It takes a long time to care about someone and let them in but when I do, believe me, I protect them fiercely, and I will do anything to make them happy and well. Right now, the only person I truly care about his him. And maybe you...Yeah, I don't feel that way right yet but I feel like I could feel a similar way about you."

I blushed and my heart raced. Shit, I shouldn't like that but I did somehow.

"But...?"

"I shouldn't approach you. I’m a distraction that hinders you two getting close. You need to belong to him. You need him and he needs you. Way more than he knows. I know you two will be perfect for each other."

"Um, thanks. That's a lot to say considering we barely know each other. He's a sweet, special kid. I care about him. I think he's gorgeous and amazing and adorable. I want to care for him. I would love to be his boyfriend. I'm working on it but it will take time."

"It won't take as long as you think. It's going to go faster if I'm not around though. To tempt you. It's selfish of me to have kissed you. To like you like I do. I know I really shouldn’t, but from the moment I saw you I can't help it. You're just so hot."

I gulped. He was staring hard core at my lips while I was looking at his. There was so much wildness, passion, and intense possessiveness in his gaze. I could tell he was attracted to me intensely. I recalled what we had just been through. He had been terrifying, chaotic, off hinged, furious, unpredictable, violent. He had been totally badass. I had only seen guys like that in a movie or a drama. Then, I thought it was over the top. Back at the house, I had just been worried and shocked. But now that we were outside in each other's arms, I looked back at it and found it...arousing.

I took a deep breath and exhaled, unable to peel my eyes from his lips as he parted and licked them. "I have got to stop drinking so much around you. Back there you were..."

"Hot?" He suggested with that signature smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"Cindering,” I admitted with a smirk.

 

 

Next thing I knew we were rolling around in the professor’s lawn, making out hardcore. Every time we changed who was on top, it was a whole different feeling. When he was dominating me though, wow, did I enjoy that because it was rather new. Most men I had fooled around with hadn't been the domineering, aggressive kind. He was straddling me with my wrists pinned to the lawn and biting and sucking up and down my neck when a car drove by and honked at us. We jumped up with guilty expressions and fixed our clothes. They had grass pieces and dirt stains now.

"They will wash out," he reassured when I looked at him.

I gave him a sad smile after I sighed.

"Yeah, but other stains won't. We can't keep doing this when..."

 "I know, I know. You like my brother. That's why you’re attracted to me. It's simple. I understand why you feel guilty but there's no need to. You two aren't together. I will be long gone before that probably happens. And of course I won't say anything to him. There's no way we can get caught. He will never come to the club and in the afternoon you will never see me. I'm busy."

I felt comforted by his tap on the shoulder but stepped away in case we started kissing again.

"It's still wrong. If you guys only didn't have the same face."

"Why do you have to beat yourself up feeling guilty when I told you not to? If you meaninglessly fool around with me on the side every once in awhile it's a bonus. You can relieve your stress. You can have adventure. You can explore a whole new type. You can't tell me that nerds have really been more fun than me? If I hadn't shown you what a great time we can have then you wouldn't have kissed me back or sent me so many signals."

"I wasn't sending any signs. You irritate the hell out of me. You're not my type.”

"Maybe you are attracted to me because of that. You’re body secretly craves something different. Something more unpredictable and dangerous."

"No, it's just because of your looks. Because I want to be with your brother which I don’t feel like I have much of shot in hell with and you happen to look like him. And the fact I'm very drunk."

“Try kissing me next time in the dark when you're sober maybe?"

"You're charm and me being under the influence is the only thing still keeping you alive."

"Oh, a threat~ Maybe I should get my knife again. We can do some fierce dangerous roleplay, what do you say?"

"Ugh, you disgust me. Is that all you ever think about?"

"We're men in our twenties without a full-time job, Daniel. It's all we both think about."

 

 

We ended up walking the next hour aimlessly arguing about various topics until we were both sober. I wondered how with one brother I could barely get him to talk and then the other brother we bickered like a married couple.

 He offered to walk me home, but I insisted I would just take a taxi. He gave me cash for the ride stubbornly insisting he had more than enough and he owed me for stopping him from doing something crazy. After I got in the taxi, he made me open the window.

"I'm sober. I can get home on my own."

"Too bad you're sober already. Or I would have tried to get you to a hotel. Want to go for another round?"

He hung on the window sill, playing with my arm with elegant, long, stroking fingers, and flashing a devilish, flirty grin, his eyes sweet yet mischievous.

 "Never going to happen."

"It almost did tonight. You agreed to go to the after party. "

"Yeah, but only because of that nice girl I didn't want to disappoint."

"Oh, I can just invite her again."

"Won't she cramp your style if you're trying to get with me?"

"Not at all. I will let her warm you up. Then I will steak you for the real fun. Think of me like the boss and her as the mini-bosses."

I laughed, thinking of him like Bowser. The image of a green spikey shell, horns, a tail, and leather cuffs was amusing. He smiled sweetly and cocked his head.

"I like your laugh. It sounds nice and your expression when you do it is adorable. I could just..."

Before I knew it, he was pulling me to him and kissing me fiercely again. I blamed the fact that I was caught off guard and that he was an expert kisser for responding in turn and enjoying it for many moments longer than ought to have been appropriate.

"Ah, still not sober?" He teased when he pulled away, licking his smirking lips that I blushed to think tasted much like me.

I was left breathless, red faced, and aching from head to toe with want. Good Lord, could he turn a person on with a sheer kiss.

 "I guess not. Good night."

"Good night. See you this weekend. Good luck with my brother. Take care of that sweet, marshmallowy nerd for me. Hopefully, things will be better and go smoothly from now on. If he asks what happened, leave me out of it. I look out for him as much as I can, but I prefer that he doesn’t know about it."

 I rolled the window up after he finally got off of it and told the drivers to go. The brunette stood waving with that familiar, bright, crooked smile and oddly sweet yet sad, lonely, complex eyes. What was with this guy? The longer I spent with him the more confused he made me. And the more interested and attracted I became. Despite the rather mysterious dangerous aura he gave off. Although he hadn’t yet captured my heart like his brother had, who actually seemed to need me around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Welcome back to super bad boy Seongwoo in all his glory! He's sexy, wild, impulsive, violent, tempermental, charming, oddly mercurial and secretly lonely and gloomy behind his charming smiles. Don't you want to get in his head and solve him like a puzzle? Don't you want to just tear off his clothes and bit on his little ears? Sorry, I have terrible feels for Ong lately, they just never seem to stop.
> 
> This version of Seongwoo is much more complicated than the other version of Seongwoo, who is adorable still but much easier to understand and figure out from the next chapter. And part of that reason is because of how he feels towards his brother, how he feels towards Daniel when he knows he shouldn't feel that way because he considers him to be 'owned' by his brother, and because of how he knows that he's going to 'disappear' someday and though he doesn't want to he feels like he has no other choice because it's what's best for his brother. Bad boy Seongwoo is a conundrum and a hot, sexy, usually drunken mess. That Daniel really enjoys arguing and then making out with. But they do actually like each other in a sort of intense, complex way.
> 
> I suppose the mystery part is mind boggling. But in two more chapters I will give you Seongwoo's POV and then you will see what the issue and connection is with these two boys. Then the fantasy element will kick in and things will start getting very odd and interesting. Thankfully, Daniel got to know more about the two brothers and they also have stopped the professor from creeping on Seongwoo anymore. Which was the point of the plot besides Daniel and Seongwoo's shameless flirting and sexual tension.
> 
> I also threw in some moments with Jisung X Dongho and Dongho X Daniel because I liked those two D's interactions in Produce 101, they both admire and respect each other like macho men despite they were always rivals and never got to be on the same team. There was also some of Daehwi in here because I think he's just the cutest. I'm sort of implying that Daehwi and Jinyoung have a relationship going on but it's not going to be pursued in this story. The younger members are just mentions because they're too young to appear in a college fic otherwise. 
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. I just love writing super seductive bad boy Seongwoo who makes Daniel's world go totally topsy-turvy and how Daniel finds all these excuses for kissing Seongwoo back. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think~ See you in a week!
> 
> Also I have a few other stories on here besides this one, one of them a series of wanna one couple one shots that's going to be about half ongniel and then have a bit of everyone else in it. I hope that you will check those stories out on my page too!
> 
> <3 Raina


	7. Do I want it to land on heads?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The creepy dino prof issue is solved and nerdy Seongwoo starts opening up more to Daniel. Daniel learns the main cause of his intimacy issues and insecurities. Seongwoo teaches Daniel some memorization tips. The have intimate moments and even casually chatter, discussing various subjects like his brother. Daniel enjoys getting to know his crush better and finds that he has a surprisingly bold, playful side. Seongwoo proposes the idea of 'sharing' with his brother.

I decide to pick up my tutor from the asshole creep Dino's office before our tutoring session today. I had these disturbing nightmares of him being chased and raped by that monster of a man. It was impossible to wait in the library for him to possibly come in late with tears again.

I watched as I had the other day through the curtains over the door window. They were not talking. Hyung was filing something. The professor was typing on the computer. Every once in awhile, he looked at the glassed boy wearing a white, oversized hoodie with a strange, soft, sad smile but he didn't linger or gaze somewhere inappropriate.

Twenty minutes later, hyung bowed politely to the professor who waved and smiled at him in a kind yet professional manner. When he stepped out, I stood at the side of the door and sighed in relief. It seemed the threats had worked. Hyung could complete his internship in peace and I didn't have to get kicked out of school for abusing a teacher.

"Hey hyung!"

He jumped and gasped in surprise when he noticed me. Then, he hit my arm, reprimanding me with a hand over his chest. "Daniel, you scared me! Don't sneak around."

I chuckled and pulled him by the wrist to the area we had been crying earlier. "I wasn't sneaking. I was literally standing in clear view. You're just oblivious. Like how did you forget the way to the cafeteria after all the years you have been here?" I teased and pinched his cheek.

He grumbled and flushed with a sulky look.

"NG!" I said his favorite phrase and flicked his pointy, perfect nose.

"Ow, what was that for? You're being mean," he whined with a natural pout to his bow lips I couldn't help look at for a few lingering moments.

I really wanted to compare them with his brother's. They looked the same. Would they feel just as amazing? Probably. But he would be hesitant and gentle and awkward since he was inexperienced in comparison. I wanted to know the difference while the memory of our impulsive kissing sessions were fresh. Maybe I could get a chance if I tuned up the charm meter.

"If I'm not allowed to be cute, neither are you. So, NG!"

"I'm not..." he waved his hand and pushed up his glasses, looking bashful and avoiding my eyes.

"Yes you are. Very much so. Even when you're not trying."

He went to say something, then cleared his throat. "Why are you here? I told you I would go there soon."

I shrugged and grinned. "I was worried."

He blushed harder and hid a smile behind his too long sleeve. Seriously where were his hands even? I could only see a couple finger tips.

"You don't need to worry about me. I told you. That will interfere with your studies. I am an adult. I can handle any situation on my own..."

 I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms. "You call the other day handling it?"

Hyung avoided eye contact and flushed, fidgeting with his sleeves.

"Yes, I do because he stopped, didn't he? He didn't try anything weird or compliment me today. He asked about you. He thinks we are dating. He said that you are an idiot but a good guy who can care for me properly. He wished us luck…"

"I am, wait, minus the idiot part!" I beamed, liking the idea of being mistaken as his boyfriend. "Why didn't you deny it?”

Hyung looked at his sleeves he was fidgeting with as he bit his lip nervously. "Well...I thought it might be working to keep him disinterested. So, I decided to just go along with it. It would be difficult to explain with what happened yesterday…"

"Yesterday? Ah, when I..."

"K-k..."

"Kissed you?"

He nodded, turning red all the way to his ears. Wow, was he different from his brother. He couldn't even say the word kiss? Too freaking adorable. There was a pile of goo where my heart and guts used to be.

"Oh, speaking of that!" The professor stepped out of his office and came our way, his heavy footsteps ringing through the nearly empty corridor. "I'm going to pretend to kiss you now~"

"No!" He gasped, pushing on my chest as I pinned him to the wall and half embraced him. I held his cheek, pressing my face close to his at an angle that looked very suggestivesfrom behind--typical movie trick.

"You want to keep up the pretexts so that he stops coming onto you, right?"

He gulped and nodded, shivering as I curiouslu brushed my fingers over his silky skin and pressed our lips a centimeter apart. We stayed frozen that way, our hearts racing and our breaths held. Hyung was red and closing his eyes tight, his whole body tensed for impact. I smirked, studying him close up with appreciation.

 He had perfect skin and really long eye lashes and his sculpted nose was just beautiful. Hmm, those pink, bow lips were really tempting and so very close. Inviting and defenseless and seductive. My cheeks heated and my body tensed as well.

What in the hell was I doing? This was torture and I felt exposed like I had just confessed all my feelings. When the steps faded away, I jumped back a respectful distance.

He opened his eyes and stuttered lowly "T-thank you for covering. I-I'm sorry that you have to be a-associated with someone like m-me…"

Oh, how much I would love to be officially associated with you, hyung....

I grinned in my typical breezy way, despite my heart was frantic. "No worries. I told you I'm your friend. If there's something I can do to help you out of trouble, I have no qualms doing it."

"Hmm, a friend..." His face scrunched up like he ate something distasteful.

I smiled impishly, my heart clutching to straws they probably shouldn't at his tone. "You want more? IfIso, you got me."

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him down the hallway.

He stuttered out, waving his sleeve, "T-that's not w-what I meant. It's just... you’re my first f-friend in a long time..."

"Why? Did you wander off from your home and school and literally lose them? I could see you doing that. The library is this way hyung. Just follow your best friend," I teased with a motherly tone.

He kicked my leg and pouted. It actually kind of hurt but I laughed. It was nice to joke around with him in a casual way. I felt like we were getting closer.

"Seems you and your brother have a violent streak. Here I thought you had almost nothing in common."

He followed me to the library, letting himself be pulled along.

 "I used to have friends. But they were the same as this one person. That person took them all with him when he left...and my love for music...and my confidence…"

 

 

I paused in the hallway and looked back at him in shock. He had just suddenly gave me personal information of his own accord.

"Was this person a guy? A boyfriend?" I asked softly as if I was dealing with a deer I happened upon in the forest.

He bit his lip and nodded. “My first and only…”

"You had a bad break up?" I guessed, rubbing my thumb against the cloth of his sweater.

Hyung tried to smile but it was sad and quickly faded as he looked down at the tiles in the hallway. "Terrible... he started rumors...made everyone hate me..."

"Why did you break up?"

"I wasn't good enough. I couldn't take that and neither could he after a long while."

I squeezed his wrist and scrunched up my face in confusion. "Woah, wait, not good enough for him? Sorry I can't picture this at all."

He told me then about how his boyfriend had had all of these grievances about his personality, habits, hobbies, and looks. He had made him feel ugly, boring, stuck up, arrogant, and all other kinds of things I didn't get. The man must have been blind.

Hyung had tried to change for him and let him control him for years. Because he thought that he really loved him and couldn’t be apart. Then, the guy had dumped him out of the blue for someone else, told all of his friends to stay away, and spread rumors that made him seem like a freak. From then, he had been bullied and ostracized and all alone.

 He oddly didn't seem to hate the guy who had clearly been the ring leader and just a nasty person. He rather still seemed to think that it was his fault for not being able to change and not knowing how to make new friends.

I took his hands in mine and then made him look at me. He was shy and awkward and seemed sad but did it.

"You were not at fault. You should never ever be with someone who asks you to change everything about yourself. He didn't love you even a bit. He seems like a mean, selfish ass. What he did to you was called emotional abuse. So you're aware of it. Look it up later and you will see that what he did to you was really wrong and you were most definitely not at fault. I'm going to give you homework for once."

I reached up and brushed his soft, thin cheek, wiping away a single tear that fell. He smiled softly and he leaned into the intimate touch. My heart warmed and I felt much closer to him. He had told me just a tiny part of his life but it already explained so much that I was wondering about. An emotionally abusive relationship had destroyed his confidence, his self-esteem, and left him without friends or the bravery to make them.

He suggested with a sheepish grin and a sniffle, "We lost thirty minutes of your study time. We should go in."

I agreed to but only if I was allowed to hold his hand and if he ate something. He didn't look well after reliving that.

 

 

As we ate, I asked him about what he had done the previous weekend and what his hobbies were. He told me that he liked going to cafes and reading. He also liked wandering around outside just walking and thinking. He liked movies and drawing as well. I was ecstatic that the flood gates had been cracked open. He was still telling me personal details after an hour of which we had gone through the snacks and were still chatting about hobbies we had in common and movies we both liked.

"I thought you didn't like to chatter, hyung," I pointed out with a teasing tone.

He bit his lip and flushed, hurrying to open his book. I guessed that he had liked it but had forgotten how to do it with people after a long period of no practice and too much time second guessing himself.

"That's right. I absolutely hate it. Enough chit-chat. We are wasting precious time."

"Certainly didn't seem to hate it at all to me," I teased as I opened my book and got my notebook and pens ready.

His almond eyes had been vibrant and sparkling with life. He clearly hadn't talked to someone about random things in a long time and had missed it. I would volunteer to be that person every minute of every day.

"I'm here any time you want to just chat. It's fun and good for your soul. Actually, you are really funny."

I hadn't known just how much before, but it was good to see that he was similar to his brother with their funny genes. I found the nerdy brother’s jokes more to my taste though, it was less sarcastic and dirty.

"No, that was just a one-time thing. You were asking questions and I was just, you know, feeling grateful, so I answered them. But I've thanked you and told you enough about myself. That was the end of it. Back to work. You will not hear another private tidbit about me."

Hyung was all huffy and stern, wearing his handsome poker face. I went to my work diligently because we really had lost quite a bit of time and the test was right around the corner.

"Whatever you say goes, hyung. You're the boss here."

"Yes, I am. Now put your nose in that book, puppy."

I literally did and sniffed the pages like a dog. He giggled and then clapped his sleeves over his mouth as if he was surprised that slipped out. I sat up and grinned triumphantly that I made him laugh when he was putting in serious effort to be his usual, serious, aloof self.

 We studied for forty minutes in silence. Until hyung closed the book and looked at me with determination. I guessed it was time to learn some new sort of techniques.

"I noticed the most serious issue is with your memorizing the other day. You're not very good, right? That's why people think you're an idiot."

I gripped my heart and winced in pain. "Ouch, when you say it directly somehow it wounds me..."

Hyung pointed his pen at me, subtly warning me to be serious. "You know you're terrible at it though, right?"

I blushed, smiled sheepishly, and scratched the back of my neck. "Yes, I have to admit it. Remembering things is difficult for me. If I don't find it interesting. Especially terminology and numbers."

Hyung looked at his notes and read off observation notes about me. I would have liked it if it wasn't so detailed and focused on negative things. I had all these habits and issues I needed to fix that were making it hard for me to memorize. It would have been nice if he had added in there that I was funny, charming, kind and had a dazzling smile. I had plenty of good points I thought if he focused on instead, he might just fall for me and then my job was made a lot easier.

"Don't worry," he said while chewing on his pen and looking over his notes in deep thought, a cute furrowed V between his groomed brows.

"We have improved your note taking, relaxation, and concentration skills. Honestly, half of memorizing well comes from those properties being in perfect harmony. You're not nearly the level I am yet. But you are doing well, Grasshopper. Now stare at this pen."

He held out the purple high lighter in his hand. I raised my eye brow. It seemed like a scene out of Karata Kid. Was I supposed to take it from his hand?

"What's this about?"

He smiled slightly, his eyes flashing with amusement and playfulness.

"Simple memorization practice. You've got to stretch out your eyes, work with visualization to improve your skills. Memorization is all about visuals, tricking your brain to recall various symbols and details. Tell me everything about this pen in detail."

I shrugged and went along with what he asked just for the hell of it though I didn’t see where this was going at all. "It's purple. It's long. It's thin. It has navy writing and a cap."

Hyung shook his head, his golden, round glasses slipping down. I reached over to catch and push them up. His eyes went to my mouth and he blushed, chewing on his lip. I noticed he was tense and squirming when I looked at his mouth as if he was pressing his thighs together.

Hmm, what was this?

"That's not good enough. It's too general. Tell me more specifically. What exact shade? Exactly how long and thin? What do the words say?"

I stared at the pen, studying it slowly. "It's purple like a lavender flower in full bloom. It is as long as my palm. A bit thinner than my middle finger. It says made in Germany and Staples and..."

 I noted more details as I studied it. Then he gave me one minute to memorize what I had said. Then, he gave me a pencil and colored pens and opened my notebook to a clean page.

"Now, draw every single thing you remember exactly as you observed it, including the words and placement."

 "Neh?" I commented, my confidence suddenly dropping several notches.

"The longer you wait, the more you will forget or mix up. It's better to hurry. We forget several things every ten seconds that passes."

I grabbed the pen and hurriedly started sketching. It took me several minutes and I often closed my eyes to picture it. Some things I wasn't sure about or just plain forgot. I couldn't recall many of the English words’ spellings and I got mixed up about the shape of the cap. I gripped my temples and groaned in frustration. Hyung took it as I had written down all I could and put down the pen.

"Ugh, that's only about 70% accurate. Hey, don't be so brutal. I feel dumb enough," I whined as he took a yellow high lighter and circled everything that was wrong like it was one of those find the differences picture games for toddlers.

He chewed on the end of the high lighter as he looked over my picture. "Hmm, it’s actually better than I expected. This shows potential. You did fairly well, Grasshopper."

"Yes! I got praised by the master!" I pumped and beamed, ecstatic to hear praise when I had expected a scolding.

"Still the level of a middle schooler."

I pouted and gave him puppy eyes at the sudden insult, my lifted heart plunging like it was on a rollercoaster. He giggled again all of a sudden, hiding behind his sleeve. Then, he tapped his mouth and played with his glasses as his gaze drifted to my mouth. I self-consciously licked my lips, wondering why he was looking there. His eyes darkened and he inhaled sharply, his cheeks heated, he chewed on his lower lip, and his body tensed and squirmed again. He seemed to have difficulty tearing his eyes from my mouth.

 I smiled smugly when I realized exactly what was going on. Hyung was thinking of kissing me and he was turned on by it. Why was that? Had his brother told him? Had he had naughty dreams? Was it because of earlier when I pinned him? Oh, I was going to have some fun with the knowledge he was attracted to me as well. Very much so.

 

 

"Why don't you show me how the master does it then? I am more of a first-hand observation learner. Can you memorize my face?"

He reddened but narrowed his eyes, taking me up on the challenge without much hesitation, stubborn as usual. He wouldn't say there was something he couldn’t do and he wouldn't admit it unsettled him looking at my face. However, come think of it, it always did, didn't it a bit? He avoided looking at me directly for longer than half a minute and he was often blushing when we did for even that time.

"Okay, I am not the best at drawing, but I can get the key points."

I stayed still, trying not to smile and giggle as he stared at me. I watched him right back, memorizing his features though he hadn't asked. He remained serious but I could tell he was affected by this. His irregular breathing, frequent gulping, lip biting, nose twitching and red face suggested it. 

A minute later, he was busy drawing me by sheer memory as I peeked around my book. I smirked as I thought of what had just transpired. We were so hard-core flirting. Did he realize that? Well, he had only had one boyfriend, so he probably didn't.

When he was done, I turned the notebook so I could see it but did so brushing our fingers. He jumped back and dropped the notebook, well more like tossed it. The pen fell and rattled on the floor. He murmured a light curse word as he went to get it, his pretty face flaming and hiding behind his shirt sleeve as he covered his gasping mouth.

I took the notebook, keeping half an eye on him. On his way up, he bumped his head and knocked over his water bottle. He cursed and apologized, clumsily picking it up and rubbing his head. I caught his wrists before he could cause any more accidents.

"Calm down, why are you so jumpy from our fingers bumping, hyung? Did I shock you with static electricity?" I laughed, rubbing his arms with my thumbs.

He shivered and tensed again, doing that squirming leg pressing move, sucking on his lower lip, and gulping. He was looking at my mouth again. I purposely licked and then drew my lower lip into my mouth, sucking on it as a fun experiment. He gasped and tore his eyes away, then shook off my hands. He hid his colored face with his sleeves, fidgeting with the strings inside and his glasses.

Then, he looked at the notebook and told me in a shaky, soft, husky voice to look over it. I was wondering why I was irresistible today. I wasn't dressed nicely and I hadn't even showered or shaved this morning. I was feeling rather scruffy and greasy, in fact. Maybe he liked his men more natural?

Whatever was the reason, I was thankful for it. This was probably the best day of my life ever, being able to torture my crush who was feeling things and hopefully imagining kissing or naughtier activities with me.

He told me to look again, seeming unsettled by the way I was grinning smugly and gazing at him like he was the cutest, most enchanting enigma. I looked down at the notebook finally. He had drawn me really well as a cartoon character equip with dimples, my bushy eyebrows, my crooked nose, my eye freckle, my angular eyes that nearly disappeared when I smiled, my plump lips, and even my bunny teeth.

 I laughed as I looked at it and gave him a thumbs up. "Wow, it's almost 100% me."

"Good. Now toss it."

I protected the note when he reached for it.

"I'm keeping it forever. You draw really well."

He shook his head and hands in opposite frantic waves. "No, no, no, that's really mediocre!"

"Can I draw you?"

"Neh?" His eyes bugged out like an owl's, his ears turning red.

I started to without his permission.

"This guy looks lonely. I think he needs a cute sweet nerdy friend."

Hyung tried to stop me, saying drawing him was an absolute NG. I caught his hands with one of mine and held them prisoner as I drew and observed his face closely. He only looked down at the table, pouting unhappily and looking very self-conscious, uncomfortable, and mortified.

Ten minutes later, I showed it to him proudly. I had drawn him with huge eyes and cat ears in chibi form. He took it and looked closely. A bright smile lit up his handsomely pretty face and he couldn't take his eyes off or speak for several minutes.

I commented proudly, "I'm good right? I actually like drawing."

He nodded and looked at me eyes sparkling with happiness and admiration. I could really get used to that look. If only I could sneak a picture.

 "You are very talented. It is super cute. Much cuter than the real me."

"What are you saying? You look the exact same especially right now. I will prove it."

I had him pose with the drawing next to his face and snapped a photo with my phone. Then, I made it my background photo and turned it to him.

"See? I cannot say which is more adorable. You really remind me of a kitten."

He laughed, a real genuine laugh not a shy giggle. He clapped his hands like a seal, not covering his mouth for once.

 "Woah..." I dropped my phone and stared at him, blown away by his radiant beauty and marshmallow-like adorableness.

Why did he hide that smile? I mean, why ever? It was like sunshine trapped in a bottle. My heart stopped and then raced like crazy and my face heated.

"Hyung..."

"Something wrong, Daniel? You look kind of sick."

His smile faded to a concerned frown but that enchanting sparkle stayed in his eyes. I made him happy, truly happy. I felt very proud of myself. I smiled my breezy, charming smile to reassure him I was more than fine.

"Nothing. Let's practice some more."

 

 

We spent the next half an hour playing this visual game, turning it into a contest. I could feel myself getting better with each object. I was able to retain about 80%. Hyung packed up the same time as me.

"Going for walk again?" I asked with a smile.

I was pretty sure that he just wanted to walk me out so we could spend more time together chatting, but he was too proud and shy to admit that so he made that excuse. "Just would like some fresh air."

 "Then you should steer clear of me because I'm going to smoke."

He smirked in a nymph sort of way. "No, you're not. Confiscated."

I gaped as he took my carton of cigarettes from his pocket and tossed it in the garbage. I went to pull it out but he blocked me saying these kinds of substances slowly destroyed my thinking processes and how as a psych major I should be clearly aware of their dangers. I sighed and raked my hand through my hair. Then, I laughed in disbelief and threw up my hands.

"Okay you win today. I concede. I will try harder to quit. Like I promised."

He smiled triumphantly and did a little jig, butt wiggle. My heart thumped hard against my rib cage. God, was he cute and pretty. It was unreal. Where had he been hiding all my life?

"Good. I will buy you something else to kick the cravings."

Hyung bought me some tropical jellies in the shape of various characters inside the convenience store.

"Really? I will look like a total kid eating these outside..." I commented, making a face as I held a bag out with two fingers like it was repulsive.

"Ah, you don't like these? They're my favorites..."

He flushed and bit his lip, looking apologetic. I grabbed his chin and forced his lip out of his teeth.

"You've really got to stop doing that or this little jelly here is going to become my newest vice..." I murmured thickly as I stared at his lip with an intense spark of lust.

His breath hitched and his pretty eyes went as big as moons as my thumb glided over his wet, silky, bottom lip. He seemed to melt under my touch, his body tensing and his hips squirming legs pressing together. It was a sign I had turned him on with my moves.

I felt embarrassed as I came back into myself. What was going on with me today? I kept having these out of body experiences where I acted way too forward. He was like a doe in headlights that had already been hit hard by a car and barely survived. I needed to take my time approaching him so he could learn not all cars were looking for a crash. Yet here I was going at him full speed. I wasn't any better than the professor then, was I?

 "Sorry. You had something on your mouth I was cleaning off," I mumbled, taking my hand off and avoiding his eyes, my face heating.

I took several packs of the jellies he liked and took them to the counter. He followed me, looking like a dazed tomato, pressing his finger tips to his lips . He snapped out of it when I took my wallet.

"I will pay!" He reached for my hand suddenly to stop me.

Then, he jerked away and jumped when our skin touched. I raised my eyebrow at his reaction, wondering if it was static electricity again that I didn't feel. Why was he overreacting to just a little skin on skin? It wasn't like he had never been with a guy or touched people before. Maybe he was a germaphobe.

 I wished it was just like that with me though. That would mean he maybe liked me back.

He gave the female clerk his credit card. I could tell she was checking him out and liking what she saw because she was batting her eyelashes, smiling, and flushing as she talked to him. She brushed his fingers on purpose when she handed him the bag. Hmm, he didn't react at all to that. Was it really just me?

When we walked out of the convenience store, I purposely brushed his fingers as I took the bag to carry it. He jumped and knocked over a stand full of Ghana chocolate bars. The stand crashed and the box full of candy bars scattered all over the floor.

"Shoot, sorry!"

"It's okay, I can eat it up. Go on out," the girl smiled kindly, shoeing us away as she hurried over. I chuckled and led him out of the store by the wrist.

"Aigoo, mongcheongie sincha..."

He kept looking back nervous biting at his sleeve. I continued to lead him away, then pushed up his glasses and fixed his hair.

"You're such a clumsy, dorky, direction challenged, handful compared to your brother."

He looked down in embarrassment as we walked around the garden area blooming with flowers.

 "I know I am. I envy him and wish I could be like him. He's independent, graceful, cool, sure of himself. He never creates accidents or gets lost or embarrasses himself."

I snorted. "I embarrassed him. I beat him at dancing now twice."

"Really? You must be good then."

I shrugged, secretly loving the admiring bright-eyed look he gave me. "I'm mediocre. Like your drawing skills."

 He giggled behind his sleeve. I slipped my hand down his wrist to link our fingers together. He jumped but he didn't pull away. So, it really was me, but not because he hated my touch.

"I didn't think you would be the humble type. I thought you were more like him..."

I winced and squeezed his hand in playful reprimand. "Don't lump us in the same box, please. He is way more arrogant than me. He is rooster level of cockiness."

Hyung smiled in amusement and then so did I as we talked about his brother. I felt like he understood his brother well and was more openly fond of him than the other way around. It almost seemed like he admired him and considered him as a role model that he wanted to be like when he grew up.

"Are you two close? Sometimes it seems like you are. Then, other times it seems like not at all," I commented curious.

I let him lead us to roses which he apparently liked as he gazed at them with an enchanted, soft look.

"I wish but not really. It’s complicated. We only found each other this past year. I like him and want to be close but he doesn’t feel the same I don’t think. He works and goes out at night and sleeps during the day whereas I am the opposite. We don't see each other much. We leave notes for each other. That's how we communicate. We used to say everything that happened with our day but now it's just the essential kind of life changing or emotional bits. I think that he resents having to live like that because of me."

"What kinds of things does he tell you?"

 I couldn't picture that guy writing a fully detailed account of what happened with us but it worried me. Hyung fingered his lips, turning red and starry eyed. Shit, he knew, didn't he? The guy told him when he knew I liked him, dammit. Cheap move man. I am so punching you next time I see you and don't think you will ever get a taste of God Daniel ever again.

"You know, I think my brother likes you. He said he was going to give you up for my sake. But I saw how he kissed you."

"You saw it?!"

I panicked, thinking that was much worse. I couldn't even say that he was lying now. He giggled and kept fingering his lips.

"I don't mind. Me and my brother we share a lot of things. I guess we can share you too."

My face heated and I stumbled on a rock. "S-share? What do you mean by that? S-share me how?” I stuttered.

Too unreal. Were both brothers into three-somes? Was I getting involved in something really weird with these two? Were they doing all this to seduce me to come fool around? Was his brother involved in the ‘after party’ he kept wanting me to join?

Hyung picked a rose bud and put it in over my ear. "I mean, like this."

 I stood shocked as he held my face in his sleeves, closed his eyes, and kissed me softly once. He pulled away and went back to touching the flowers like nothing had happened, smiling shyly, sucking his lip, and flushing.

"Now we are even. There's nothing for you to be feeling guilty about. Or my brother. I told him that already. No one needs to give you up or feel bad. We can just share you."

Holy shit, I thought as I stood there smoldering. I did not know how I felt about this. I had so many questions. I wasn’t going to do any three-some though, even if both guys were very hot in different ways. I was and would always be a one-person guy.

"I think you’re misunderstanding what you saw or heard. He doesn't like me. I don't like him either. He's just messing with me. I get weird when I drunk. I will kiss a dog if it flirts with me. Our kiss was totally meaningless."

Hyung shrugged and smiled softly as he leaned in to smell a red rose. "Okay, I get it. There's lots to like about him though. You should give him a chance."

"He told me not to. That I couldn't be with him. He said he's going to be disappearing? That he's only here temporarily? What's that about?"

Hyung paused, looking surprised and uncomfortable. He played with some petals that had fallen to the ground. "He told you that, huh? It's supposed to be secret but he must be feeling pretty attached to you. Like me, he doesn't like being open. It seems you have some magic ability to get us to be open and honest that no one else has…Yes, my brother is only in the area for a short time. He is doing something and once it's complete, he will have to go. I don't really want him to go, but he says it's best for me. I like him and I want to get to know him better. He helps me not to feel lonely. But there’s no way for me as of yet to get him to stay…"

"He told me something like that. But I don't get it. You guys don't seem to have a bad relationship. You have no friends, so you must be lonely. How would him going away be good for you?"

He smiled sadly. "There are benefits if he goes away, that's why. But my brother will suffer. So, I don't want him to finish his task. I want to find a way we can both be happier. Or he can just be happy. He deserves it more."

I scoffed and shook my head. "Well, I can't agree with that. He's a jerk."

Hyung smiled, his eyes looking off into the distance as if he was recalling some fond memory they shared.

"He can be, yes. But he's got a good heart. He's doing a lot for me and not enough for himself. He should be more selfish. He shouldn't give you up when I know he doesn’t want to. So, forget about what he said then. I don't want you to stay away from him. I want you to be his friend, get close, keep getting him to open up. You saw his wild sides. I get worried about him. I hope you can keep him out of trouble or help him out of it. Especially, don't let him get violent again. I worry he will get hurt or hurt someone, then we will both be separated and miserable. And our situation would never be resolved…"

 He stood up with a flower in hand. I took it and put it in his hair. It was hard to see who was the flower because both were outstandingly beautiful. After I saw how big this kid's heart was, I liked him even more.

"You know about that too?"

He nodded. "I do. Thank you for stopping him from doing something crazy. And thank you for caring and stepping up to him. It's crazy you risking your degree for me, but I appreciate it. Everything's over now, thanks to you mainly."

He held my face and kissed me again, a bit longer and firmer this time. My heart raced and flipped, my cheeks reddened. I hummed, then after it was over much too briefly I couldn't stop smiling and I couldn't look at him. He was smiling sweetly, looking shy and embarrassed at his bold move.

"Is this how you usually thank people, hyung? You grew up abroad?"

He smiled mysteriously. "You could say that."

"Well, that certainly explains your promiscuous, overly affectionate brother. By the way, I totally swear we won't kiss again. He's going away and I really don't like him. I will be staying sober in case I bump into him. And then there's you..."

"What about me?" He asked with a playfully smirk similar to his brother’s.

"I just...well, you know...I..."

I couldn't get it out. He had kissed me twice so he might just like me. There was hope. So why couldn't I get the courage to get it out? I really wanted to confess and start dating this wonderful cutie…

"Ah, it would be weird because I'm your tutor? Well, we're friends now. Or is that weirder? Kiss who you want. I don't care."

Well, that was unexpected. Maybe I had misread his signs. Did he really kiss me just to thank me? I frowned, my heart sinking.

"You don't care?" I repeated slowly.

 "I don't own you, Daniel. We are adults. We don't need to stop or report each other about our goings on. You can kiss my brother all you want, drunkenly or sober. Anyway, take care of my brother, please. I heard there's a huge party going on this Friday night and there's drugs involved. I hope you will keep him away from exploring that. The last time he tried drugs things didn’t go so well. Oh, it's better to talk to him before he's wasted. He listens a bit better then, but no guarantees. He’s as wild and stubborn as a bronco. Here's his work address. See you tomorrow! Library at four~"

He put a paper in my hand, patted my shoulder, and then took off. I shook my head, feeling very confused and somewhat displeased and unhappy. I kind of wished he would get jealous and ban me from seeing his brother, but I guess we just weren't quite close enough. His reaction and the kisses were a start, whatever their real meanings were.

 I looked down at the note with a sigh. It was the name and address of a cafe written with purple ink. To Meong meongie, it read with a drawing of a cute puppy. Hyung said that his brother would be working there around seven. I supposed I should go. Just for hyung, I told myself, but deep down I was curious about what the crazier brother would be like during the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter allows you to see there is a little kitty inside our timid robot know as nerdy Ong. I loved the idea of Ong knowing about the kiss Daniel had with his brother and fantasizing about it and feeling left out, staring at Dan' mouth and getting all worked up from that. Even though he's sweet, he isn't innocent nor a virgin. He dated a guy before so of course he has done stuff and he has urges and he's just as attracted to Dan as his 'brother'. I thought it would be cute to have Ong not know how to deal with and be over sensitive to Dan's touch compared to his brother. Seeing as he has no friends and it's been years since he had a lover. Speaking of, his ex will remain prob nameless or an OC because he is such an ass. It's terrible how some people think they love someone when they emotionally abuse them and try to make them change into their ideal type. In my mind, Ong spent his relationship trying to be perfect and always hearing 'I love you but I would love you more if you..'
> 
> He came not to like or have any confidence in himself because of the emotional abuse he suffered for years. He also got used to not having or forgot how to make friends. He became even more introverted and alone than before his ex, resulting in him focusing on his studies and dreams. Daniel and his brother are working on healing him and getting him to make friends and like himself again, slowly but surely. For now though that's all he's got. Although Dan is probably more than enough because he's so sweet and caring.
> 
> Ong is opening up faster than anyone thought, suggesting that he maybe wanted to all along but was scared and unsure. He showed that he's playful and funny and good at drawing, things he likes and his hobbies, his feelings about his brother and ex. He shared a lot this chapter. I think you guys can understand a lot more. However, I know you don't get their connection yet. These two 'brothers'  secrets will be revealed in the chapter after next. You will get to see both guys' POVs soon. All things will be revealed then.
> 
> Next chapter Dan will visit bad boy Ong at his work place and they will have their first sober interaction! Daniel will realize that he actually is starting to like bad boy Ong and can be attracted to him without the influence of alcohol. Please tell me what you thought of this chapter. Very curious about your thoughts on all that's been revealed about the Ongs and what their secrets are. Why don't they see each other? Why do they leave notes about what happened in their lives? What tasks? Why does one have to go?  Why are they close but haven't been together long? Why do they refuse to say their names? What do they mean about sharing Dan? So many questions to be considered, these and many more. 
> 
> Write a comment please and then I'll see you in a week! 
> 
> <3 Raina


	8. Or do I oddly want it to be tails?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At his nerdy hyung's suggestion, Daniel goes to see bad boy Seongwoo at the cafe where he supposedly works. There, he sees him in a whole new lite and starts feeling things that he shouldn't be feeling because seeing a bunch of new charms. They have a long talk about various things. Daniel learns more and more about him as well as about his twin brother, making him further confused about what he's thinking and feeling towards them as well as the mystery of the things they're hiding. He is surprised to see that him and this hyung can have a good time conversing.

I went to the address hyung had given me just after seven that night with some homework. I considered bringing a friend but I wasn’t sure what that crazy guy might slip up about what happened the last time we were together, so I decided against it. My friends teased me enough about him as it was and it seemed like they knew somehow that we had kissed.

The café was called Coffee Bean. It was a large, clean chain store with warm, dark furnishing and cozy chairs built like sofas with pillows to lean back on. I sat at a table without ordering to first observe my surroundings. There were four people working. Two were cleaners and two were baristas. It didn’t take me long to notice him. The guy practically glowed with radiance.

He was behind the counter, making coffee for some female customers that were ogling and giggling about him as they waited. I could only see his back and a tiny bit of his profile from here but somehow I just knew he was listening in on their conversation and pretending not to while smirking arrogantly. He loved to be the center of attention even more than I did. That was how I could understand why my friends found that sort of behavior annoying. Ugh, how I hated him, especially that cocky smirk. And I hated even more so the things it did to my insides.

 When he turned around to bring the cup to them, I gasped. I hadn’t thought it was possible for him to get more attractive, but this bastard had proven it wrong. He looked very different compared to the times that I saw him. The black and brown uniform, the apron, the hat, the way his hair was un-gelled and softly swept to the side, how his pretty face had no makeup and he was wearing a sweet, friendly, innocent grin—it did strange things to my heart how suave, chic, and pure nice he looked. I did not like putting the ‘nice’ adjective with his image one bit. It was distasteful, like turkey hot dogs.

 I watched as he casually chatted and complimented the girls on their hair styles, flashing a charming, flirty grin that could make a tree blush. It was clear they were regulars, and they probably came back because of the service he had to give. I looked around and just as I expected almost all of the customers were women. There was one other male worker but he looked like a pile of poop next to this guy. We all did, honestly, even me I supposed.

 I hid my face behind a text book and peeked over it as I watched him work. He was surprisingly a great worker and very helpful. He carried heavy boxes for his female coworkers and told them to be careful about hot liquid, even one time stepping in the way of a spill and taking the damage himself. He danced and sang as he wiped the counters and machines between customers. He really liked to shake his bum and make exaggerated expressions like JYP.

Whenever a customer came to the counter, he was the first to approach them with a charming smile and kind voice as he asked them what they needed. He joked and flirted with pretty much everyone, even the male customers. It seemed to keep the atmosphere of the otherwise rather gloomy, boring, posh place and mediocre unattractive coworkers up. He was clearly the life of not just any party or the club but of this café as well. He never seemed to stop smiling or chatting or moving about like a buzzing bee. The best way to describe him was that he was just full of life. I had no idea how he could party hard the way he did and have the energy to work like that.

 

 

I was getting eyed by one of the workers in charge of cleaning, obviously because I had yet to order a drink in the last nearly thirty minutes. I dreaded it but it needed to be done. I put on my most carefree, breezy smile as I approached the counter, willing my heart to stop racing, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. He lit up behind the counter even brighter than I had seen as if he was genuinely happy to see me. They inhumanly gorgeous and soft way he looked with that expression made me want to throw all the chairs in this room. It was just unfair. 

“Daniel, my man!” he greeted me as if we were best friends rather than rivals who had a strange history of drunkenly making out between arguing sessions.

I really didn’t want to but with a whole bunch of people turning curiously to see how the hot barista’s friend was, I had no choice but to high five him back.  
“Hey, hyung…”

I snook a peak at his chest but to my irritation his name tag merely said ‘ong’ which just seemed like an alias or a joke to me. I had never heard of a single person in my country called Ong.

“What can I get for you? Did you come here to see me? Is it just a coincidence or did my brother tell you?”

“It’s just a coincidence…” I lied. “I’ll have a vanilla latte.”

“Ah, just like with your guys, kisses, and alcohol, you like it sweet and vanilla. Should have guessed. Such a sissy boy.”

He winked and chuckled as I turned red like a tomato and balled my fist to stop myself from clocking him. He input my order into the machine and told me that it was on the house. He was going to pay for me again just like he had the other day at the convenience store. I hated that he emasculated me this way too. Just because I didn’t currently have a job didn’t mean I was broke.

I frowned as I put my wallet back in my pocket. “Only this once. I’m here to study. I feel cooped up in my house and the library is too godawful quiet. Like a horror movie.”

He nodded, his smile turning softer. I noticed close-up in normal lighting that his eyes were enchantingly gorgeous and incredibly deep and dark like they held the mysteries of the whole world and every conflicting emotion imaginable just behind their glossy surface. They could seriously hypnotize. I wanted to stare into thode orbs until I cracked him open and learned everything there was to know about this weird guy. I forced myself not to look at them. It didn't stop my heart from racing because I knew his intense, fond gaze was still on me, probably thinking about what he wanted to do to me the next time we were alone.

“Ah, I hear you. What are you studying? Do you like horror movies, by the way?”

“I like them but I also hate them. They are terrifying but I still watch them to the very end for some reason, spilling my popcorn all over. Your brother’s given me homework. It’s making a study guide for that stupid creepy dino’s test. If I don’t pass it, I have to re-take the class. That’s our deal.”

“Oh, really? I wonder why my brother did that for you. I don’t see him getting anything out of it. It just takes away from his precious study time. He’s going to be graduating soon too so he’s got his thesis and research projects.”

“Smiles and laughs? De-stress and natural antidepressants?” I suggested playfully.

Hyung chuckled and smiled wide. My heard did funny things. Why did he have such charm and a beautiful smile? I was used to him smirking, teasing and gidding me to piss me off, not him just chatting with me in a casual, friendly way while smiling like I was the funniest person alive. I liked this and I very much didn't like that I liked it. This was just cheating, it was unfair. He couldn't try to steal and tug on my heart like this as well. It belonged to someone else, didn't it?

“He could use more of that in his life. He has me, but you know about our clashing schedules so I can’t be around him much. I’m glad he’s got you. You’re a funny, positive kid.”

“Not a kid!” I pouted.

He turned to look at me over his shoulder as he made the coffee. There was a hint of the teasing, cocky smirk that I was used to. I felt relieved when I was able to return to the 'I really hate this cocky jerk' zone I was used to.

“You sure act like one sometimes. Kang choding.”

My mouth gaped open. How did he know my nickname? Had he talked to my friends? Not cool, man, not cool!

“So how is life going for you these days?”

I shrugged, leaning on the bar stool. “Great, I guess. No girlfriend, but that’s good news. No job, but that’s also good news. I have a lot of time to study, hang out, sleep, watch movies, and play games. Life’s pretty good right now.”

“Good to hear. You should stay as stress and responsibility free as you can. When you’re a Junior and up that won’t be possible. How was my bro today? Anything happened with that creep?”

“He told me to stay away but I didn’t listen, of course. I wasn’t going to leave him alone after the last time he came back crying. I watched outside just to be sure. I was all ready to break in the window and drop kick him in the face if he tried something else. But nothing happened. He stayed clear and barely talked to your brother. Seems you freaked him out enough.”

“Good. We both talke the credit. Thanks for looking out for him like that. I appreciate it. Though he can be so frustrating sometimes, you know.”

“I know. He should really just quit that internship. There’s no telling how long that guy will be able to keep his hands off him. He’s just so gorgeous.”

“Thank you, I know I am.” He smiled smugly as he put down my coffee.

I rolled my eyes. “He’s better. He’s not so polished. He doesn’t try as hard as you. He’s more of what I’d call a natural beauty.”

Hyung put his hands out and cocked his head. God, did that look hot somehow. Why did they have the same face but their aura so different? I bit my lip and kicked myself, hoping the pain would force my erection to stop. You hate him, you hate him, he's nothing but a pretty face, his personality stinks, I reminded myself like I was reciting sutra.

“I didn’t try at all today. That’s only for when I go out. When I’m working, I couldn’t be bothered. I literally just woke up and tossed on my uniform and then came to work. What you’re seeing now, that’s all natural beauty. I'm the definition of perfection right now.”

Okay, I get that, but do you really have to stroke yourself and make that sensual face?

I raised my eyebrows. “What are you possibly doing waking up at 6pm?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know what position and who I was doing last night, more specifically?” He leaned across the counter with his collar slipping forward to reveal pale skin with a little mole and licked his lips, speaking lowly so only I could hear.

I inadvertently shivered and turned red. He was too seductive for me to handle and I was struck by an impulse to do very napughty things to that mouth and bare skin. I was done talking to him. I pulled my shirt down and hurried to my table, irritated and embarrassed that he had managed to turn me on with just one little motion and a sentence and that yummy, soft looking skin. He had some sort of evil sexual power honestly.

 I shouldn’t have come here. I really shouldn’t have come here. I sat down and closed my eyes, putting myself in meditation mode. Think of something non-sexual, video games, chips, cats, grandma…

 

 

“Yoona, I’m going to take a ten-minute break. I’m sure customers will miss me but they’ll just have to deal with it. I have a fan I want to chill with. Maybe take a bite out of that nice ass if I'm hungry.”

Hyung took off his apron and followed me to my table, plopping down and getting comfortable on the sofa like a prince. His legs were crossed and his arms rested on the back of the sofa. Ugh, of course he followed me. He always follows me every time I try to run away from him, sticking to me like static on plastic. Yet when I try to crack the shell of his nutty surface, he avoids and shifts away.

I glared at him with annoyance. He blew me a kiss and waved. I gagged. He mimicked me, his face looking really funny when he did so because he exaggerated it. We both laughed. For a moment, I got caught up in his radiant handsomeness that caught me off guard. Those eyes, that smile, that bone structure, those eyebrows—every bit was worshipable and mouthwatering. And every bit was distant--so close yet so far away. A part of me hated him because he simply wouldn't let me in, not as fast as I wished.

“So, what is the test about? Shall I help you study? I heard that my brother has got you working on memorizing. He says your godawful.”

I made a ‘psh’ sound as I tore my eyes away from him and looked at my half-finished study guide. You hate him, he's just a pretty face, stinky personality, his brother is a million times better, ignore the pull, you hate him, you don't need to know anything about him more...

“Whatever. I must be better than you. Seeing as you dropped out.”

He waved his finger with a crooked, condescending grin. Super hot jerk.

 “I didn’t drop out because I wasn’t any good, Daniel. Don’t be mistaken. I’m good at everything. I just prefer to sleep during the day but I don’t want to go to night school because that will interfere with partying and fooling around with hot guys like you. It would be a waste of the little time I've got on Earth.”

“Why am I not surprised?” I replied sarcastically. Inside, I was fluttering with slight happiness as he had finally told me a personal tidbit.

He jumped forward, leaning halfway across the table so he could see my notebook. I gulped and held my breath as I got a whiff of his incredible cologne and my eyes drifted to his lightly glossed, bow shaped lips. I could distinctly remember even having been in a drunken stupor somehow how they tasted and felt on mine. He was such a fantastic kisser.

 It was a real shame he was directly related to the guy that I liked so it wasn’t something that I could pursue even for a fun, brief moment ever again. I had promised hyung that I would never do anything with his brother again. Then again, he was the one that said he didn’t care who I kissed and he was willing to share me with his brother, so technically….I slapped my face and shook my head. No, I was not going to kiss this sexy jerk again, ever. I was not going to nibble on that sexy moal alnd hear his erotic, thick groan of pleasure.

Hyung was watching me with amusement, his kissable lips in a half smile. “You okay there, Hot Stuff?”

“Your cologne stinks. Stay away from me.”

I remembered that even if I was attracted to him enough that I did want to kiss him passionately this instant, I wasn’t going to. Because I didn’t like his personality. He was obnoxious, narcissistic, selfish, violent, impulsive, rebellious, and rude. The total opposite of my type.

He chuckled, looking like he didn’t believe me but was going to obey this once anyway. He took my notebook and then sat back. I was finally able to breathe comfortably. Although my jeans were anything but comfortable now. I told myself not to look at his face but it turned out looking at his hands was a mistake too. I recalled the way they had groped, caressed, and stroked me in the club and then on the grass. His beautiful, pale, long-fingered, graceful hands were just as dangerous and naturally seductive as the rest of him. They could perform magic and made my body into his puppet.

I took off my jacket, feeling exceptionally hot. I cleared my throat and drummed my pen on the table. I felt nervous and uncomfortable with this silence and it was giving my mind too much time to wander to places they really shouldn’t. He was still reading over my notes, humming and crookedly smiling here and there, tapping or biting his lip, drumming his fingers on the table top.

Was he seducing me on purpose? What was he thinking? Was he going to scold me on my note taking skills like his brother? Was he also a secret genius? Because he was attractive and charming and irresistible enough, so that really wouldn’t be fair to the human race. I would probably react to that by flipping this table. The suspense and silence were killing me. I took large sips of my coffee to quench my parched mouth.

“Something wrong?” I eventually asked.

He tossed the notebook on the table. “I’m done memorizing. Test me.”

“What? No way you memorized all that in just five minutes,” I replied doubtfully as I took the notebook.

He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled with full confidence. I wanted to stick something in that mouth to make it turn round instead of always smiling. My thighs pressed together and heat coiled in the center of my body as I pictured thrusting into his gaping mouth.

“I can answer any question you throw at me. So, start tossing, Jordan.”

“You’re on. But it’s no fun if it’s just you. Let’s make it a contest, with punishments if you get it wrong.”

Maybe I could take some of this pent-up anger and unwanted desire for him I had out on him through mild pain. Getting some sort of revenge for his seduction attempts would make me feel better surely.

 

 

We took turns asking each other questions from the notes. The punishment was flicks on the forehead or smacks on the arm. It turns out we both were full of confidence only and no substance to back it up, like a hot air balloon. We each got most of the questions wrong and ended up with red spots all over our arms and foreheads.

I actually had an enjoyable time, despite I thought that hanging out with this jerk when I was sober would be terrible. He made me laugh a lot with the way he reacted to the pain in an exaggerated fashion and the funny things he said and how we fought over my coffee. I shared a bunch of indirect kisses with him through my straw. We were still laughing when we called a truce. We shook hands and looked across the table at each other.

He didn’t let my hand go. I could have pulled away or shaken him off but somehow I didn’t want to. I liked the way his hand felt, just like his brother’s—warm, firm, soft. But this hand felt a bit surer of himself, forward, and like he could protect and help me with anything I asked. It was more like how I imagined my hand would feel to his brother.

“How about we go out for a smoke?” he suggested, nodding towards the patio out the side doors.

I shook my head and took out the jellies from my pocket. “I quit. Your brother got to me with his nagging about various ailments related to tobacco. I’m going to get addicted to his favorite jellies instead.”

“Oh, I love those too. Feed me one.”

“No, just take it yourself.” I blushed at the idea of doing something intimate with him.

We were already getting weird looks for holding hands across the table. I was pretty sure some of those girls were getting things ready to throw at or stab me with. The difficulties of being popular. It always had its downsides. I knew firsthand how psycho fangirls could get when they saw the guy they liked getting close to someone in a ‘romantic’ way.

He pouted and flashed these cute, wide kitten eyes. Dammit, this brother was supposed to be the sexy one. He pulled a cute fastball on me I didn’t know he was capable of. My heart summersaulted and I blinked rapidly, my breath catching in my throat. Unfair, so freaking unfair hyung!

“My arm hurts though. You hit me way harder than I hit you so now I'm covered in welts and bruises~ Big meanie~” he whined in a high-pitched baby voice.

“Ew~ I’ll give you one, just don’t talk like that.” I stuck out my tongue. My heart was on a sprint and I was gripping the table, fighting the urge to flip it.

“You like it when my brother does it,” he pointed out, then opened his mouth for me to put the jelly inside.

He slurped it up and flicked it with his tongue. I felt fire down to my very core, spreading fast and furious. I wanted to smack him and scold him not to ever do that again, but I had gave him enough welts for one day.

“That’s different.”

“Is not. The only physical difference is glasses!” he complained.

“Glasses and oversized clothes and messy hair and your expressions and habits. Makes a difference,” I shrugged. “Last time I saw him he looked just like a marshmallow. I wanted to shrink him and put him in my pocket. Your brother’s absolutely adorable.”

I was in the middle of another drink of coffee when he smirked and stroked my wrist. “But I’m the more fuckable one, right?”

I splurted the coffee on my notebook and the table. I jerked my hand away as pleasure coursed through my whole body from his sensual touch on my sensitive skin.

“Dammit, hyung!”

He cackled evilly as he helped me rub everything down with napkins.

“Well, it’s the truth. Anyway, I’m glad that he’s getting you to quit. Smoking is really one of the worst things you could do to your bodies.”

“I know that. I needed something to help with stress. I was going to quit eventually,” I muttered with a childish pout, not appreciating the further lecturing.

“Giving you jellies to cure the cravings though, that’s pretty funny. Sex would probably be better. I can help you get addicted to that instead. But too bad you prefer vanilla and marshmallows and simple hand holding. That's cute though. You’re helping him and he’s helping you. The quality of your life is going to improve once you get all those bad things out of your life. It seems like you guys are good for each other. You have my permission to keep seeing my brother.”

“Well, thanks. But I don’t really need your blessing…”

“Yes, you do. I’m pretty much the only family he’s got left. Our parents are always traveling and they never contact us. They lost sight of what to do with my brother years ago too. I’m like his mother, father, and brother rolled up into one. Though he was alone quite a long time before I came into his life.”

My breath caught. This guy was really opening up to me all of a sudden, just like his brother had. Was it the atmosphere or more so the fact he was sober?

“It must have been hard on him. He told me about what happened with his boyfriend before…”

Hyung growled, his expression turning scary as it had the other day. “That weasel is no man. He’s lucky I wasn’t around when that happened or he would have been dismembered with an ax and fed to sharks…”

“Um, okay, anger and violence issues still intact even when sober I see…” I muttered and shook my head. “Anyway, moving on from that dark weirdness, he opened up to me after that. Just all of a sudden. Not just about that but about a lot of things. What his hobbies and likes and dreams are. It was pretty sweet.”

Hyung’s handsome face turned gentle as he smiled sincerely. “I’m happy for you. He is opening up to you much faster than I expected. I even find myself telling you lots of things I shouldn't. You must have some special mojo.”

I blushed and grinned as I looked down at the cup I was playing with. It was almost empty now and still warm. Like hyung’s hands had been. Warm, soft, cozy, comforting…

I shook my head, telling myself not to think like that. This hyung wasn’t the hyung I was falling in love with and trying to woo into a serious relationship. It was wrong of me to think of him even as a friend. I didn’t even want to be here. I didn’t even like him, I reminded myself. I was only here for his brother because he was worried that his hyung was going to do something stupid. That was the only reason, I told myself again and again. I hadn't been curious and I most deffinitely hadn't missed him.

“Um, speaking of your brother…He’s never dated anyone since then, right?”

Hyung snorted and grinned. “Dated? He’s barely had friends since then. He hates himself and forgot how to talk to people casually. No, he hasn’t done anything close to dating. I don’t think he’s even kissed anyone.”

Oh, good. So that means I’m his second kiss. I wonder what number I am for hyung though…I didn’t like thinking of that because it brought up some sort of strange feeling of jealousy and territorialism in me that I didn’t feel I should have or understand. He must have had hundreds before me and many of them were better. After a few weeks went by, he probably wouldn’t remember me. He had probably kissepd people since we were together already and compared us, finding me lacking. That thought sort of stung.

“How should I go about you know…courting him? I want to date him but I’ve never approached someone with this sort of issue. Usually people approach me and I just say yes or no. I like him so I don’t want to mess it up by going to fast or overboard and scaring him off…”

“Are you asking for advice about how to hook up with my baby brother?” Hyung had a serious, surprised look with a raised dreamy eyebrow.

“Um, yes…”

Please don’t kill me. I thought you wanted us to be together. I thought I had your parental approval. Please don't pull a knife on me...

“Oh, yeah, sure. I can help you with that. If itsi for my cute brother, I capn do anything...”

I studied his expression because his tone of voice was unfamiliar to me. I was getting this oddly sad vibe from him for a brief moment. It made me wonder if his brother actually liked me beyond a physical thing but had just been hiding it. Well, I didn’t really care.  Because I didn’t like this guy. I liked his brother. The one who wasn’t an insane, psychopathic, alcoholic player. Right? But somehow the lonely, sad look that crossed his face briefly prickled my chest in an irksome way.

“I would really appreciate it.”

“Let’s see. My brother told you that he didn’t like music, right?”

“Yes, he did. What’s with that though?”

“His boyfriend was in a rock band. A guitarist and the lead singer. When they broke up, my brother stopped listening to music. It reminded him of him and it got too painful.”

“He’s all sorts of fucked up from this jerk…” I sighed, my hands crushing the empty cup in irritation. “I hate how he lets this asshole continue to control his life like that. I wonder if he’ll ever get over it and just live how he wants again.”

Hyung gave me a reassuring smile and took the cup, subtly brushing my hand. “I think it will be great if you help him get over it. I know just the way…”

From then on, hyung told me various things that his brother liked and how I could use that to get him to open up, like me more, and/or use it as a way to confess if I felt up to the challenge.

“Thanks. I think that will be really helpful.” There was sincere kindness and gratitude in my tone, as I was feeling a lot more cordial to him now. His charm was getting to me, making me go a bit warm and soft 

“You’re welcome. Anyway I can help a friend out, I’m willing. Especially if it helps my brother be happy someday too. Two birds with one stone, woo hoo~”

“Woo hoo~”

I repeated, then stopped woo-hooing when I noticed he’d put his hand on mine. It shot a spark up my body, made my heart race, and I went stiff and tense. Just a simple touch could ignite the desire in me. Now I couldn’t at all blame it on the alcohol either. I was intensely attracted to this man. But I couldn’t do anything about it because he was off-limits. So very off-limits. Which is what possibly made him all the more attractive. On top of the fact that he was dangerous and wild and primitively sensual. On top of the fact that he sometimes really pissed me off and made me hate him and then turned around, acting all sweet which made me hate him a lot less.

 I gulped and took my hand away. He smirked as he watched my hand disappear under the table, clearly evident of the effect he had on me and feeling the same despite not being under the influence as well. I recognized that dark lust in his pretty eyes.

 

 

“There’s another reason I’m here. The real reason,” I gulped and choked out, pleading with my body to calm down and stop shooting out hormone signals that the guy would be tempted to act on that would later leave me feeling like a guilty, slimy greaseball.

Because, despite getting permission from his brother, I didn’t honestly think that he would be okay with it. I wasn’t okay with it either. I didn’t two-time. Those were the worst kind of guys, the kind that couldn’t decided which person they wanted. And I had chosen, a long time ago. I wasn't going to go back on my decision.

“Shoot. You can tell me anything, Daniel. I’m all ears when it comes to you.”

 

Dammit, why was his smile all tinted with sadness again? Did he seriously like me? This was such a mess! Please, please don’t like me. That will make this whole thing much too difficult for me. I hate being caught in the middle and having to reject someone outright. I took a deep breath and just barely forced myself not to panic. I was struck with a strong craving for a smoke. I took a handful of jellies and stuffed them in my mouth. That made me think of the cute nerd I liked which calmed me down immensely.

“Your brother doesn’t want you to go to that party on Friday night.”

Hyung rolled his eyes and sighed, clearly irritated. “This again. I told him he needs to keep his nose out of my life. I’m not a teenager. I can handle myself. Even if I get into a bit of trouble. You can tell him that he needs to spend more time worrying about himself and where you two are going than about me.”

“Well, I got to say that after what I saw the other night, I’m worried too. You were carrying a knife, for crying out loud. You trespassed and almost slashed someone’s throat,” I leaned in to whisper, not wanting someone to overhear and having that cost him his job.

He shrugged like I had just said something trivial like he had put his shoes on the wrong foot. “So I was a bit too drunk and my anger piled up. That guy is dealt with. I promise I won’t do something like that. You threw my knife away.”

“That’s not the point, hyung! You have some issues that I don’t think should be mixed well with alcohol, especially not regularly. You’re going to become an alcoholic or end up in jail for a fight or drugs.”

He threw up his hands and rolled his eyes, looking very much like a rebellious punky teenager. “Oh, it’s the drugs? That’s what he’s worried about, is it? Jeez, I had that one overdose that one time and he just never forgets it.”

Fuck.

“O-overdose?” I choked out, and without knowing why but feeling the instinctive need to touch him, I reached out and held his hand in both of mine. “You overdosed and almost died?”

He rolled his eyes again and smiled. I frowned and narrowed my eyes at him, demanding he elaborate. This was no laughing matter. Most certainly.

“I was in a bad place then. I had um…just found out that I wasn’t going to be able to stay with my brother for long. I mixed some things that it turns out should never be mixed. It was an accident, I swear. I was sent the hospital and had my stomach pumped. It was a scary thing for him. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I mean, everyone’s got to die someday, right?”

He was smiling but there was some dark, anxious, shadow in his eyes as he spoke about the incident. I got the feeling he was brushing it off and lying about it being an accident and that he had actually been quite scarred by it. 

I shook my head and squeezed his long, silky fingers. “How can you joke about dying? You almost died. You were completely careless. Apnd you clearly still are. No wonder your brother is worried. I can’t let you go after knowing that so easily either.”

He seemed uncomfortable with the way I was looking at him and his eyes turned sad and conflicted. It just freaked me out to hear that someone I knew had almost died. Someone that I realized I was starting to care about. Maybe he needed taking care of just like his brother did. I had thought he had it all put together, but then again, his brother said he had some important task and that he was making sacrifices for his brother and also that he was going to have to disappear and there was nothing he could do about it. He must still be feeling helpless somewhere under all his carefree, charming smiles and sarcastic jokes. Just like he had at that time he had clearly attempted suicide. I didn’t believe the accident part one bit, the anxious, gloomy look in his eyes told me so.

“Yeah, sorry to worry you, Hot Stuff. But I’m going to that party. No one rules my life. I’m a free spirit. I have no fear. I do what I want whenever I want without looking back. I’ve always been that way and that’s how I always will be. It’s just in my nature. It’s something that my brother wishes he could be.”

To be honest, it was something I respected and wished I could be partially as well. Until I thought that he might go off the wall completely and end up dead or in jail, which either way I wasn’t sure which one was worse. I squeezed his hands and then sighed.

“I get that. I respect it too. I also enjoy living in a carefree way and I have my vices and issues with controlling them to a decent intake as well  I cannot rule over your life. What I can do is be a friend. Friends go to crazy parties together and they watch out for each other. Either stop them or help them when they do stupid things. I will go with you to this party. And the after party. Make sure that you don’t mix drugs and alcohol.”

Hyung shook his head and pulled away from my hands, looking strangely colder with a glimpse of that lonely, chaotic storm I sensed brewing inside of him. “Don't come if that's your reason to be with me. I don’t need another mom or dad and I certainly don’t need a baby sitter. I can take care of myself.”

“Your brother said the same thing and I’m glad I didn’t listen to him. Because the situation gets beyond your ability to handle on your own sometimes. I want to be there for you. I know that you’re not my favorite person, but I would actually like me and your brother to see you a couple more times before you have to ‘disappear’, as you said.”

“If you say so. I bet you’re going to run away when things get freaky though. You still haven’t taken up my offer of the after party, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. Honestly, I had some dreams about what could happen and since then you sort of scare me.”

“I do? Me being scary? I can’t imagine that at all.” He faked an innocent, cute look with his pretty eyes blinking and his finger over his pouty lips.

 

 

We both laughed for several minutes after that, sharing fond, friendly looks. Then, he had to get back to the counter.

 

“If you want to join me on Friday, suit yourself. You won't stop me from having a good time and you will have your hands full if you seriously try to chaperone me. I have a huge rebellious streak and an issue with authority. Good luck on your studies, Hot Stuff. But I don’t think even a miracle is going to get you to ace this test like you need.”

I high-fived him and then kicked his pert, bubble bum as he went away. “Shut up, drop-out!”

He looked over his shoulder and winked, then blew me a kiss. “You know how to make me~”

"Just go, see you Friday!"

I laughed and flushed, shaking my head as he skipped back to the counter. I rested my chin on my palm as I watched him put on his apron, greet and joke around with his fellow worker, clean the counters, take orders, flirt and chat with customers, and make coffee.

Ten minutes passed and then twenty minutes passed. I couldn’t seem to stop looking at him or wpipe off a silly grin. He was aware that I was looking at him too, I could tell. He got more showy and he kept glancing my way with a flirty smirk or cheeky grin. One time, he took his show too far and dropped a bottle of syrup. The glass shattered and his co-worker screamed.

He stared at the mess with wide eyes and froze for a minute. Then he apologized profusely, his face tinting just a bit red as the other workers came to help. They teased him for being clumsy, calling him ‘Ongcheongie’. ‘Ongcheongie strikes again,’ seemed to be a common catch phrase used with him. I chuckled as I watched the scene.

“Ah, so they both can have their clumsy moments, huh? Here, his brother thinks that he’s so perfect.”

I had seen some new things of this man today though that suggested he wasn’t as perfect as his younger brother seemed to think. Was he charming, outgoing, witty, funny? Yes, he was immensely so. But he carried some heavy emotions and dark secrets that he was covering up, he was just as terrible at studying as I was, and obviously he wasn’t always graceful.

This day had turned out to be more prolific then I had imagined, seeing as I learned about both brothers who opened up all of a sudden and I discovered something that I didn’t really want to know about myself. I think that I liked both of these guys, almost the same amount. Obviously in slightly different ways. I liked how I could be myself with this hyung and that he made me feel protected and that he made me laugh. I liked his brother because he was exactly my type and I felt an intense need to protect and cherish him like a national treasure. Faced with the choosing between those two different feelings, it was difficult to say. Somehow I wanted to have both those kinds of relationships in my life. Was it right to just let them ‘share’ me as they suggested? Or was it right to choose one and make an effort to block any advances made with the other?

Then again, one of them was going to be going away, so the answer was made for me pretty much right there. I shouldn’t pursue the guy that wasn’t going to be sticking around, especially when he was a mess that was bound to wind me up in a ton of trouble. Yet, the idea of him not being around was surprisingly unpleasant and rather painful, and this time I was sure it wasn’t because of some misguided pity I felt for his brother who would be left alone. It was because he would be leaving me alone as well. It was because I liked him and, just like the real reason that I had come to day and was secretly excited about it, I missed him when I didn't see him for awhile.

I packed up my things and hurried out. Forget these jellies. They weren’t going to do the trick. I needed to get home and have a smoke. That was the only way to calm myself down so I could think hard about my dilemma, or hopefully just not think about it at all. Because I had enough on my plate to worry about with school, I didn’t really need to be having relationship issues.

Ugh, why had I agree to come here? Now I was going to have to get drunk and go to that mysterious after party later and something was probably going to happen because I just couldn’t seem to resist that guy…And now I was developing 'feelings', which I really hadn't expected and most deffinitely shouldn't be having. Because two-timing, even if it was with two people who didn't mind having an 'open' relationship, was just wrong in my books.

I stopped to talk to a street cat near my house. “Hi there, kitty. I’m Kang Daniel and I officially hate my life. Should I choose one or should I just keep both of them in my life like they claim they want?”

The cat sat down and cocked its head at me. “Meow?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a new side of bad boy Ong~ He can also be really funny, sweet, clumsy, dorky and he works as a barista! Isn't that cool? I got feels from seeing Ong making coffee on Zero Base. Here, he actually knows what he's doing. I imagine he looks really handsome with a hat, uniform, and apron on with his brown soft hair all down in his face(if you go to a Korean cafe you will see quite a few guys dressed this way and I find the look really attractive, makes even average looking guys look hot). For Daniel, seeing a new side of Ong is confusing. Ong is actually what he goes by in his daily life and the other one goes by Seongwoo.
> 
> Daniel thought that their attraction and his growing feelings stemmed from being drunk, but actually he ends up feeling similar things sometimes on an even more intense note when he's sober. Also, Ong is incredibly charming and friendly and charismatic and sweet when he's not drunk. He's incredibly likable, even more so than usual. And he's handsome in a less 'dangerous' sort of way. After chatting with him, Daniel is gradually wavering to his side as well despite he insists that he only likes the other brother. The most important thing that we learned here though is that Ong has a deep sadness and loneliness in him and at one point he attempted suicide. I'm sure you can already guess as to why he did it but we need to know a bit more to fully undestand this deep, complicated guy. His personality is real but he also uses it as a mask to hide his negative feelings, which Daniel is the only person he's sort of opened up to about. At least Daniel can sense it when other people can't, just how anxious, trapped, and depressed he really feels.
> 
> Actually, you guys were right about something. Seongwoo really is Daniel's ideal type so he gets hung up on that. Wheras, Ong is similar and complimentary to Daniel, seeing as they are both free spirits that enjoy joking and flirting and are outspoken. Daniel is torn between them because they give him two things that he wants and he doesn't know exactly which one he wants more. Ong is fun and he makes him feel attractive and protected and like he can be himself. Seongwoo is someone that makes him always smile and he's cute and sweet so he wants to protect and care for him. We all probably have conflicting feelings about wanting to nurture and wanting to be nurtured. It is best if we can find a relationship where at different times we can have both instead of having to choose one. Because if we're always nurturing we can get tired and if we're always being protected we can feel suffocated. I think it's an interesting dilemma. I wonder what Daniel's choice will be~ Or is there some way he can have both? Will he agree to be 'shared', whatever that means? Let me know what you think he should do!
> 
> In the next chapter, we will be switching to Seongwoo(nerdy hyung)'s POV. Then the mystery of these two 'twins' will finally be revealed and things won't be confusing for you any more. The answer is supernatural and like I said I borrowed the idea from a popular webtoon. I will tell you more about it next week and give you a link to the webtoon. It's pretty interesting to read though I only read about half of it.
> 
> Tell me what you think please~ Isn't Ong such a charmer? I want a boyfriend like him~ Barista version Ong is probably my favorite Ong that I have ever written. I'm sort of tempted to explore this more. Like Wanna One version of Coffee Prince minus the girl part. I also like just going to a cafe and relaxing like Ong, I wish I could have a cafe date with him. Well, there's always my dreams hehe.
> 
> <3 Raina


	9. We're two sides of the same coin Part 1(heads)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From nerdy Seongwoo's POV, learn about how he thinks of his brother and of Daniel. Learn about the mystery that connects the twins and through that, a lot about the mysterious entity called Ong.

Nerdy Seongwoo’s POV

 

My alarm was buzzing. I sat up in my bed and fumbled around for it on my night table. I knocked it over in my clumsy attempt to shut it off and the volume of the brain-splitting buzzing increased. I groaned and covered my ear as I hit it frantically with my toes. Thankfully, one of the buttons made it finally stop, as well as the aching in my head.

I shuffled to the kitchen area for a glass of water and my vitamins, my eyes mostly closed still. I took them and then sat on the bed, rubbing my eyes and slapping my cheeks. It was my wake-up ritual and it took ages.

 I squinted at the paper that was on my desk and picked it up. It was a note, from him. My alter ego. My other half. My ‘twin.’ That whole thing was a sham, but seeing as we looked identical, there was no other way we could cover up our relationship.

 

Thanks for sending Daniel to my work place. We had a good chat. He’s trying hard, I’ll give him that. But I think he’s a long way from passing that test. You better amp your game up, ‘bro.’

And jellies, really? That's useless. You don’t know a thing about how addictive these vices are. I bet he’s smoking right now. Cute gesture though. You’re such a cute kid, you know? When you’re sleeping is the cutest though. I bet Daniel would flip if he saw that. Maybe I’ll take a picture and send it to him one day before I go. I bet you would really hate that, huh? I wish I could see you angry once, in person. Not just in my mind.

Don’t worry about the party on Friday. I won’t risk your body like that ever again. We don’t know what will happen if one of us dies and you know I would never ever want you to get hurt. Daniel has decided to come along as my chaperone. I will try to keep my hands off because he’s totally all yours, but no promises. It’s hard to resist the kid, even when I’m sober as it turns out. I’m sort of contemplating this sharing thing you suggested now. As long as you swear you won't be hurt by it. You have nothing to worry about. I am sure that he is crazy about you in a way he never could be about me.

Have a good day, good luck, if that creep tries something again, then kick him hard in the nads. Love you.

 

I smiled as I turned to the other side of the bed. There was a man sleeping in pajamas with the same face and body as me. He wasn’t a stranger, he wasn’t a clone, he wasn’t a twin as we told others either. It was complicated to explain just what he was. He was me but he wasn’t. He had my face and build and voice almost but we had completely different interests, personalities, habits, and skills. He was talented at everything, popular, confident, outgoing, funny, bright, positive, charismatic, fearless, and daring. He was everything that I had ever wanted to be. He was everything that my parents and my ex-boyfriend had wanted me to change into.

When I was younger, I had written him in stories and seen him in my dreams. Then one day I had bought this cool, old looking, gaudy earring off a gypsy. She had told me to wear it one night and dream of the thing that I wanted most dearly, then my wish would come true. I didn’t believe her but I tried it out of curiousity, thinking of how I wanted to be a different person to please others. The next day I had woke up to a copy of me in my room.

Then, they weirdest thing had happened as I learned through notes. This other being, this other me but wasn’t exactly human, woke up when and only when I went to sleep and when he went to sleep, I automatically woke up. At first, it had freaked me out, but then I started thinking I could use it to my advantage. There were a lot of things I wanted to do that I couldn’t do, because of my personality and fear of risks and responsibilities.

We started living two separate lives, telling each other what was going on and sometimes we vividly recalled what had happened as if we dreamed it. Over the years, I had gotten to know him, grown to love him, gotten used to him. He had become my family and my closest, well arguably only friend.

Then, we had found the gypsy again, by chance. She had told us that we needed to be careful of meeting the same person. If the same person liked both of us and confessed those feelings at any point in our lives, then the ‘dream’ we were living would be gone. We would transform back into the original me and my alter ego, my friend, my family, would be lost forever.

Obviously, it was stressful living like this since we had to hide our names and pretend to be twins. But I didn’t want him to die and leave me alone. I had grown too attached. I really loved and cared for him and thought of him as another person, despite we really had no clue exactly what his identity was. He wasn’t actually human, he was more like a vision in human form, like a hologram, only we could physically touch him.

For years, we had lived in harmony. I did what I needed to during the day. He did what he wanted to do at night, which was what I admittedly wish that I could be doing, hiding our full names as much as possible. I was able to live vicariously through him and I enjoyed that. When I had dreams of what he did, I felt like his friends were mine and his experiences were as well. I could be responsible and irresponsible at the same time. I could be an extrovert and an introvert.

It was the best of both worlds. Everything was great with us, except for that time that he had attempted suicide and I realized that he wasn’t fully happy as he seemed. He wouldn’t talk to me about it, but from what I guessed it was difficult for him living years on earth as a person who looked like a human but didn’t have their own identity or know what he was.

I was the original after all. I was the one that kept our full name and he just went by the name Ong or none at all. He was the one living in the shadows so to speak and I hid him from the entire family as much as I could. When necessary, he acted like me to keep the cover going at night, but there were no times that I had to act like him. Because he hardly left a trace or was close to any particular person.

Only now things were growing more complicated. Now that Daniel was in our lives. He had brought Daniel into our lives, seeing the potential in him. And I felt bad because I felt in a way that I was stealing the one he was meant to be with away when I became his tutor. I had been happy for my brother when I realized he had someone he honestly liked which I had never encountered. Then he had ended up my tutor and my brother got it into his mind that this guy was right for me.

 Part of me thought Daniel really could be the person that ended up liking us both and taking us away from this curse. A small part of me wanted it to be so because I didn’t feel like living a double life so much anymore. I was ready to be with someone and make friends. The larger part of me was scared that I would be totally alone and it was worried what would happen to my friend. I was worried he would die but I didn’t want him to die. I wanted him to be free.

Somehow though he was accepting that he was going to cease to exist and he had said that Daniel was going to be the one to heal me. Though he doubted that Daniel could honestly like him. I didn’t think so. I thought that Daniel would probably like him a lot more than he liked me. Because he was more likable and there was this deeper sadness and loneliness that I felt maybe Daniel was drawn to, thinking he could fill it up.

 In that case, maybe I would be the one to disappear. And I was okay with that. Because I thought between the two of us, he was the better person and if I was gone people wouldn’t miss me like they would miss him. It was still too early to tell though, who Daniel liked more. The fact was that he had become entangled in our lives and we both definitely liked and needed him. Only time would tell. It was also a fact that I was unsure whether to get close to Daniel or not, for the sake of my brother, but somehow I couldn’t seem to help myself. Like my brother had said, it was hard to resist the kid. Which was why I had suggested we just share instead of making sacrifices.

I tucked the blankets around my alter ego and kissed his silky, thin, pale cheek, smoothing his chestnut locks. It had appeared for once that he hadn’t gone out to party tonight. He must have just had a chill night with his friends after work. He didn’t reek of alcohol or second-hand cigarette smoke. He wasn’t sleeping in his club clothes. His hair wasn’t gelled and there wasn’t a speck of make-up on his face.

“When you’re like this, you really look just like me. Have a good rest, bro. I’m off to boring old school. Which you totally hate. Not that I blame you. To be honest, I’m not the biggest fan either. It just happens to be what I’m good at.”

I had tried to get him to go to night school but he really hated studying. He said since his life was going to be short most likely, he didn’t want to waste any of it inside a stuffy classroom. I couldn’t really argue with that, so I had let that one slide. I had a dream that I was going for and chances are I was going to live long enough to reach it whereas the chances for him were slim.

“I wonder, does he have a dream…” I pondered as I got dressed.

We used to talk about all kinds of things. I knew all his likes and dislikes and what kind of crazy, really fun, exciting, sometimes downright stupid and dangerous things he did. Like the time he grafittied a school and got chased by cops. But he didn’t talk about his feelings or his dreams even with me. I wasn’t even fully aware of what his feelings were for Daniel yet. He claimed to be only messing around with him because he found him hot, but when I saw his expression when they talked and kissed in the past, I was pretty sure that his feelings for Daniel were different. They felt sincere and intense.

 These days, I sensed that something was really wrong with him, like it had been around the time that we had first found out about our arrangement not being a permanent one and his possible disappearance. I figured he was scared to die and confused about his identity and secretly hating my existence because it meant he couldn’t have a permanent one of his own.

But those were just my logical assumptions. I didn’t know then how to fix it, so after he had luckily survived, I had taken an extra precaution that we didn’t ever run into the same people. Now, that was too late and he seemed even more upset and unbalanced then back then, so I really wasn’t sure what to do. The only thing I could do is leave him in Daniel’s hands and hope that Daniel could keep him out of harms way.

I wasn’t going to let him take his own life to beat our cursed fate. I could never be so selfish and cruel. I cared about this being like he was my brother or best friend. I was still looking for some solution that we could both be fully human and live separately and happily or make our situation more permanent.

After I got dressed, brushed my hair, and put on my glasses, I looked at the earring on the dresser. It was in a box. It was  gold and embedded with a red gem in a small leaf that was slightly curving at the end like it was blowing in the wind. The gypsy had said when I bought it that leaves follow the wind and their destiny changes depending on which way that the wind blows. Basically it meant that winds changed the course of our fate and we couldn’t control those winds, only hope that their direction would be changed the way that we wanted. I had spent years researching its history and came up with merely strange theories that revealed next to nothing of what might someday happen to us.

I put my hand over it and prayed as I did every morning.

“Please spirits, watch over my other self, protect and guide him, ease any pain or suffering he may have, but don’t take him away, please don’t take him away ever, I need him in my life. Please guide us to a solution where we can both be alive and happy.”

I looked over at my other self who was peacefully sleeping on his hands like a pillow. Unlike me, when he slept he neither stirred, moved, snored, or even breathed. He was like a robot when I was awake, one that had had all of his power system shut down abruptly. He wouldn’t breathe or open his eyes until I fell asleep. In the case that I was sleeping and was forced awake, then he would immediately appear to have passed out wherever he was.

This had caused us some issues in the past. Which was why our house was heavily sound proofed and no one knew our password and we slept without our phones on. The alarm wasn’t necessary. It was more of a reminder for him that he needed to be in bed and asleep so that I had enough time to get ready before going to class.

There had been times where he wasn’t yet in bed and it woke me up. Which then I had to drag him to the bed with his clothes on, usually smelling heavily of alcohol and cigarettes and sex. The past year he had been good about that, saying that he was becoming more mature and part of that was not adding any more difficulty to my life. How could I honestly not love this person, or whatever he was?

He treated me like a real brother. He looked out and cared for me immensely, even though he tried more often than not to hide every single thing he had ever done from me like it would worry me and destroy my innocence, just like a troublesome, protective older brother. Before I left, I went over to pet his hair. It was odd at first having someone in my bed that looked like me and appeared basically dead, but I grew used to it as I had with anything else.

“I hope you’re having sweet dreams. I had a good time with Daniel yesterday. I just pray that it doesn’t hurt you that we’re starting to like each other. I think he’s really starting to like you too. Don’t worry though, we’re going to get out of this. I’m not going to let you disappear. Even if he likes us, I will make sure that he knows he cannot say it, okay? I’m going to look out for you for a change. So, you just be selfish and not think of me and just enjoy your life and do what you want. Be with the person you love, okay? Good bye, leave you a note later.”

I kissed his forehead and pet his silky brunette hair. It was a bit weird basically kissing myself, but I had grown use to that to. If I just thought of him as my actual twin brother, an older one, it helped. We loved each other like blood related ones anyway.

 

 

I sighed with relief when I got out of the professor’s office at the end of my assistant hours. He wasn’t doing anything but after so many weeks of his advances, creepy intense stares, and then those godawful caresses and that terrible kiss, my nerves were shot just being around him.

I couldn’t hide it well either obviously. Daniel had seen it and now the professor knew exactly how uncomfortable he made me. He went out of his way to be discreet as if he was a fly on the wall but I knew he still liked me and watched me when I wasn’t looking. I could just feel it.

 It wasn’t that I thought he was a bad person or anything. I felt bad that I couldn’t like him back and that my friend and brother had scared him with life threats in the middle of the night. But then it was creepy because he was much older than me, I wasn’t attracted to him at all, and it was just all kinds of wrong because he was married and it was against school policy. I felt a familiar, gentle, warm grip on my hand.

“Daniel…” I turned, saying his name with just barely disguised delight.

“Hey hyung. Had a good day? I hope you’re hungry because I brought a ton of snacks today.”

I liked the way he smiled more than anything in the world honestly. His warm, dark brown eyes scrunched up and dimples popped out in his puffy cheeks and he had the cutest buck teeth. I avoided looking at him because it was too much for my heart to handle for long. It was racing and my cheeks were heating.

I fidgeted with my glasses and bit my lip, praying that he didn’t notice how my hand was growing sweaty from nerves. I liked him but it was still difficult to be around him, especially if he was touching or smiling at me. He was just so sweet, funny, and handsome. It made me feel like the ugly duckling.

“I-I am pretty h-hungry…”

I imagined kicking myself in the butt for stammering again. I wished that I could be cool like my ‘brother’. He never stammered when he talked to Daniel. He never had to look away form his all-powerful smile either. My ‘brother’ could flirt and joke while flashing his own blinding smile back. I pictured the way my ‘brother’ smiled in my visions and turned to Daniel with my own attempt at mimicking it.

“It’s great to see you.”

Daniel tripped on his own feet, his eyes bugging out, and his face turned red from his ears to his neck. I smiled smugly as I lead him to the library, our hands still clasped. I felt proud of myself since it seems I managed to pull it off. I wasn’t confident my smile was as gorgeous as my ‘brother’s’ but it would have to do for now. I was going to find some ‘mojo’ and win Daniel over before we had to stop meeting.  The test was just next week and not much later I would be graduating. If I wanted to get him to have a relationship with me, I didn’t have that much time to make things work. Things were complicated enough with my other self as my competition, I didn't need to be super shy and standoffish to add to that.

“I-it’s a-always g-great to see you too, hyung…” Daniel stammered in reply.

Then he cleared his throat and when he spoke he sounded much more confident. “So, I talked to your brother yesterday. I found it odd that he’s actually a good worker. Somehow I just thought of him as a party boy who couldn’t handle any sort of responsibility.”

I thought of all that I had seen in my visions. My ‘brother’ had done some crazy things that couldn’t be considered any where close to the vicinity of responsible. Some things had done just down-right freaked me out and I had wished that I knew how to un-see them. A large part of my innocence was stole from my visions of his after parties.

“Yes, well, he has his moments,” I giggled behind my sleeve, thinking of all the secrets I had to share bit by bit if he wanted to know more about Ong.

Then, I recalled that my ‘brother’ had told me not to do that because it made me seem like I was ashamed of my smile. That was because before my ex had said that my teeth were crooked and I had a weird laugh. He told me that I looked more attractive when I laughed this way. That jerk who had trampled on my heart after I gave everything and tried my hardest to change myself to match his ideals.

“Asshole…” I muttered, dropping my sleeve down.

Daniel looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I flushed and waved my hands. “Not you!”

“Your brother?”

“No, I was thinking of my ex. My brother isn’t as much of an asshole as you think. He just likes to seem that way I think to keep people at a distance. He doesn’t want them to get attached and he certainly doesn’t want them asking personal questions.”

“Like his name? I have now kissed and held hands with both of you. And I don’t even know your names.”

Should I tell him? I really didn’t think that my brother would approve. But since he liked either or both of us and we both liked him and he might be the one to cure our curse someday, I decided to. Just he could know.

“I’m Seongwoo. He goes by Ong.”

He gaped in the cutest, childlike way. The nickname really fit, Kang Choding. I had seen a vision of Ong chatting with his friends when he was out for a smoke. “What? Ong was real? I thought that was an alias!”

“It is, kind of. Anyway, you can’t call him that, okay? We try not to let people know our names. Just know that’s what I call him and people at work.”

“Ah, okay. Seongwoo hyung? Can I call you that?”

I blushed at the sound of my name on his lips for the first time. My heart was doing a silly dance. Oh, boy, did I like that.

“Hmm, maybe. I’ll think about it. Hyung is fine for now.”

Daniel pouted. I was tempted to NG him. His pout was so cute and it made me strongly tempted to grab his face and kiss him and suck on that plush cherry lip. Wow, I had been thinking of my visions too much, that was more my ‘brother’ than me. Maybe his feelings were transferrable if they were intense.

“So, what were you thinking about your ex? I’m sure it couldn’t be something good.”

I found myself covering my mouth, this time to chew on my nails. We were almost at the library.

I whispered as we got closer. “He told me that I have ugly teeth and a weird laugh. So, that’s why I cover my face whenever I laugh. It became a habit that’s hard to break.”

“Wow, seriously, what an asshole. And blind. I could just knock him in the head, but then I’m starting to doubt he has one.” Daniel scrunched up his handsome face, making him look like one of those grandpas that shouted for pesky kids to get off his lawn.

I laughed brightly. He looked at me, beamed and pointed his finger.

“That right there. That’s your real laugh. Don’t you ever hide it. You’re gorgeous. They should replace Mona Lisa with a portrait of your face because you’re a complete masterpiece.”

I laughed some more and then had to smother my mouth because we were walking into the library. Daniel chuckled softly and squeezed my hand, leading me to the usual table.

“Anyway, what I was talking about earlier about your ‘not so much of an asshole as I thought’ brother, which I will agree when he’s sober he’s not so bad. I couldn’t get him to agree not to go to the party, though he agreed not to do drugs because you’re worried about it. I can’t believe he overdosed.”

We both shivered at the thought. I felt a bit weaker and had to sit down. Daniel kindly took out chocolate cookies with chocolate cream and gave them to me. I smiled warmly and opened them.

“I thought I had lost him then. It was scary in that hospital with him out cold after hours of having his stomach pumped.”

Daniel had dumped the rest of the snacks, juice, and heavy textbooks and his iron man notebook out. It always made me smile secretly when I saw that. He could be so mature and yet so childish. Sort of like my ‘brother.’ I was probably the most mature out of all us. Well, certainly not in terms of experience.

Daniel took my hands in his and I jumped as desire—or I think that’s what that feeling was—coursed through me. I found myself immediately staring at my lips instead of focusing on the comforting, encouraging, heartfelt words he said. I imagined what my brother and him had done in the club and then that passionate time on the professor's lawn and those steamy, drunken, spontaneous kisses on the bus.

I envied him that. I wanted to have that kind of passion with Daniel, not just feel it second-hand. I had kissed him sure but it wasn’t the same. I couldn’t take this lust and make an explosive fire like Ong had. I didn’t have much experience or the courage to do half the things I had seen him do in my visions. I felt attracted to him, but I didn’t know what to do with that except channel it into nervous energy that made me make epic blunders he found amusing and cute.

Daniel brushed my cheek and pressed at the corner of my lip. “Hyung, why do you look sad? Are you that worried about him? I will go with him and keep an eye out, okay? I promise. You can trust me. I will stay sober and I will keep him in line.”

I smiled weakly and looked at him. He was a masterpiece of a human being. No wonder he had a long history of girlfriends and fun boys he had fooled around with. Daniel probably had just as much experience as my 'brother' with physical intimacy. I was envious of both of them and to be honest a bit jealous.

“That wasn’t why. Anyway, I’m glad you’re going to be with him. Thanks a lot.”

“Sure, anything for you, hyung.”

I wonder…are you really doing it just for me though?

“It’s okay, you know, Daniel. To care about him. I’m willing to share, as I said. My brother can be difficult but I think he’s also a very lovable person.”

Daniel smiled sweetly, blushing and gawking for a second as he did every time I mentioned ‘sharing’. I just meant that we could both share his time, both like him, both be friends with him. Was he thinking something weird about that term? And what was it exactly?

“Hyung, you should really stop using that word. Sharing…That sounds like you both want to divide me and devour me like a giant cookie. Or nibble me up from both ends.”

“A cookie?” I cocked my head in confusion, not really getting what sharing a friend had to do with eating a cookie.

He flushed deeper and shook his head. “Forget it. You’re so naïve, hyung.”

I was as Ong often proved, but I didn’t like to admit it. I pouted and flicked his arm. “Meanie~”

Daniel laughed, such a dorky yet pretty sound. His eyes disappeared into the warmest eye smile. I felt like my heart melted into goo. I squirmed as my body tensed in a specific area that hadn't felt movement in ages. He ruffled my hair with affection, like I was a pet. I wouldn’t mind being his kitten, honestly. I sort of half hummed, half purred in pleasure.

“I don’t care about anyone but you, hyung. I am only going to babysit him for you. Because otherwise you won’t be able to sleep at all since you’re fraught with worry.”

That is true. If I’m not able to sleep though because I’m worried, then you’re going to have an even bigger issue on your hands. You’ll be dealing with a passed-out adult and it won’t be from too much alcohol.

“Is that any good? Give me a bite~”

I gave him a cookie from my hand. He took the whole thing and his lips brushed my fingers. I jumped, knocking the entire bag of cookies to the floor, as electricity shot through my hand. It was pleasant yet also made me feel hot and uncomfortable. I think that when he touches me, it sort of turns me on? I think that must be the terminology. It had been years since I had really felt that way. I think that was because my ‘brother’ took all of those urges and multiplied them tenfold. It was like splitting personality traits into light and dark and then dividing them like cookie dough to make people. In a way, we were sort of like gingerbread cookies made with slightly different icing.

“Your clumsiness is definitely your biggest charming point,” Daniel laughed.

I liked how he took care of me, even cleaning up a mess that wasn’t at all his fault. I stuttered an apology as I helped him clean. Then, somehow I only made matters worse by jerking my body more whenever we accidentally, or maybe in his case sometimes accidentally on purpose judging by his playful smirk, touched.

“You have got to get used to me touching you, hyung. It’s ridiculous how jumpy you get from a brush of fingers. Utterly adorable, I have to admit, it makes my heart race like crazy and want to pinch your non-existent cheek fat. But ridiculous. I don’t have cuties!” he teased.

I told him that teasing me about it was grounds for huge NG’s and I might just revoke my agreement to tutor him. He a greed with an evil grinthat suggested he wasn't going to ever stop teasing me, which reminded me of Ong's traditional way of smiling. After we cleaned up, I asked him to give me his hand.  I had him put it out and told him that it was okay as long as I touched him, not giving me any surprises the other way around. I had decided I didn't want to lose out to Ong on this as well. I was tired of seeing Ong touch him so much in my visions wheras I had made hardly any skinship progress with him.

 

 

 We held hands as we studied. Well, my concentration was broken, my breath uneven, and my heart racing so I didn’t study though. At least he seemed happier. He was wearing a silly grin and humming. Later, I helped him edit his study guide and we spent a full hour on me testing his knowledge and answers. Just like my brother had said, he really did still have quite a ways to go before he’d be able to ace this test.

“I think we should finish early today.”

I started packing up my things.

“Aw~” he whined, flashing me the world’s cutest puppy eyes.

I pushed up my glasses and quickly looked away, clearing my throat and fighting not to comment or coo at that as my insides turned to fluffy cotton candy and squiggly jellies.

“You clearly need more memorization time than I had hoped. The test is next week. We’re running short on time. Considering you have the party Friday and soccer on Sunday. Saturday, I guess you will be recovering from whatever shenanigans my brother gets you into.”

“I told you I’m going to stay sober. Why don’t you believe me, hyung?”

He pouted big time. I did my NG move and pressed a new packet of jellies I had bought for him for his cravings. I was pleased to not smell hardly any cigarette smoke on him today. Unlike what my ‘brother’ had suggested, it seemed Daniel had actually listened to me. I was pleased by that and it made me smile smugly. I liked the idea that maybe just maybe I knew and affected him more than my ‘brother’.

Not that this was a competition. We were sharing Daniel equally and if my ‘brother’ wanted him and Daniel wanted him more than me, well I would gladly give him up. Probably not gladly,but I would. Because they deserved each other and my brother really could use someone. He did have more friends than me but he was lacking someone he could get really close to since he didn’t open up for fear of us being discovered or of us being separated and him fading away. He was actually all alone besides me. He didn't fully open up to me either, especially about whatever thoughts and negative feelings he had that made him attempt suicide.

“I do believe that you will try. But I know my brother, Daniel. There’s no one in the world more persuasive.”

Daniel started packing up his things with a serious look. “Well, I’m going to prove you wrong. I can totally handle your brother!”

I smiled secretively. "We'll see. I'm pretty sure he's already at home scheming ways to make you eat your words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you all have it! The secret of these two twin brothers is finally out. They are not twins and they are not exactly the same person with split personalities either. Ong Seongwoo bought a magical earring off a gypsy and from that magic was created a life-like manifestation of what he wanted most, to be a whole different person. This being looks exactly like him but embodies every ability and personality trait that Seongwoo wished he had. He is the epitome of the kind of person that he wishes to be but feels like he never can or is too scared to be. He isn't human. He may disappear if a person says that they love both Seongwoos. No one knows what that disappearing means, if it will be painful or painless, if he will die or if he will be put into the original Seongwoo. It's hard to say because the research is vague and varried. For years, the two have lived a dual life. When one is awake, the other is forced into sleep, no matter the time or place. They go by Seongwoo and the other simply by Ong. They hide their identities and connection but if they get discovered they simply say they are twins. They communicate by notes and occasionally they can see what happens in each other's lives through their dreams. They love and support each other and do not wish to be separated. Hopefully things are not confusing anymore. Ong's task is to get Seongwoo to become a better person and find someone that loves him truly, then he will disappear.
> 
> As for the rest of this chapter, well it's just Daniel and Seongwoo being flirty and getting closer. Seongwoo feels a bit jealous of how Ong is with Daniel(he knows what happened through their visions, that's what I was referring to when Seongwoo said that he 'saw' them kissing), so he's pushing himself to be more forward with Daniel. It's good to see Seongwoo making an effort to change his personality and that Daniel and Ong are very supportive of that and help push him. I'm sure Seongwoo will be fine in no time and he clearly cares about Daniel a lot. The real question is what to do about Ong. Now you know that under his carefree mask he's had suicidal thoughts and he's an incredibly lonely, unhappy person because of his identity issues and because he can never have what he truly wants. He's a sad soul and I think you will become very attached to him by the end of this series, when it is time to say goodbye to him. But I won't tell you yet what's going to happen to him after he 'disappears.'
> 
> Please tell me what you thought! The webtoon I was referring to is called Lookism. It has a similar concept of a nerdy guy who ends up having another self and they live dual lives while sharing the same soul, only the look completely different and there wasn't any explanation as to how/why that happened. Not as far as I read anyway. I will leave a link for you to check it out if you're interested but it's got a lot of episodes now. http://www.webtoons.com/en/drama/lookism/list?title_no=1049&page=1
> 
> In the next chapter, we will be partying hard core with Ong who gets ahold of drugs and drinks too much. Daniel will be his baby sitter until Ong convinces him to drink and then they end up at an after party. Where magical things happen. Get ready for your first bout of real smut! See you in a week. Please leave a comment and recommend this story to your friends~
> 
> Please follow me on Twitter @heartykeykeke1 Btw, boomerang Ong is just how I imagine bad boy Ong!
> 
> <3 Raina


	10. We're two sides of the coin Part 2(tails)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learn more and more about the dark, gloomy, complicated inner workings of Ong and enjoy the comical party and the hot smut of Ong and Niel in their drunken states.

Bad Boy Seongwoo now going by Ong's POV

 

“Oh, my god. What’s going on now? I can’t handle this! Why did I ever say I could?” Daniel shrieked when he found me.

I had snuck away from my handsome, well-dressed and fancily styled baby sitter yet again and drank with some special pills a friend of mind had gotten ahold of. The pills made me feel great on top of the really great buzz I had going on. I had heard my favorite song and I just couldn’t help climbing up on the bar area.

This place was different than our usual. It was fancier, clearly more expensive, had way better, absolutely banging music. The bar had stripper poles connected between the ceiling and the top of the bar. I had started dancing around one. A group of girls that I had befriended and some of their friends that had wanted to befriend me soon were gathered, encouraging and whooping for me. They put dollar bills in my pockets and jeans.

 I felt hot so I took off my shirt, giving a strip show for the ladies, one button at a time. I tossed the black button up on the floor, wearing only my jeans and a red wife beater. A hot girl climbed up. She let me take a shot from her ample breasts and stuck a few bills right into my fly. Then we had danced on top of the table and started making out. Some girls booed. I stopped kissing her and looked at them cutely like 'why are you angry honeys? I'm innocent' They were just jealous. I didn’t like leaving my fans displeased for long. There was always enough of me to share.

I got on my knees and started rocking on the table like I was humping it to the beat, which was easy for me because I was epic at dancing. I was pleased to see it drove the girls there wild and they had already forgiven me, a sexy smirk always worked. I stroked my body and licked my lips, teasing them with my sultry bedroom eyes. Daniel had found me when two girls were groping and taking turns making out with me. He forced his way through and told everyone to scatter, saying that I was clearly way beyond my limits and they were taking advantage of me. I sat on the bar with legs spread and pouted at him. He was acting like my bodyguard or manager, driving all the pretty girls away that I had painstakenly spent the last ten minutes getting to be my newest fans/groupies.

“Hey, what are you, the fun police? You scared all the cool chicks away when it was really getting good. If you're not going to play with me, you can at least not drive away everyone that wants to. I'm an on-fire item.”

Daniel scowled at me as he snatched my shirt from the floor. “Clearly you got a hold of something. Here you promised me you would only drink. What did you take? Did you make sure that it's okay to take with all the fruity cocktails and hard liquor shots?”

I nodded that I had, smiling sloppily. I don't know why but his nagging and irritation amused me. Kang Daniel was incredibly adorable when he was angry. He told me to put up my hands. I did, pretending I was on a roller coaster. I swayed and hooted, making it very difficult for him to get the clothing back on me. When he did, I hugged him and sloppily kissed my way to his cheek and then to his ear. Hmm, his body was so big, muscular, and his skin the tastiest dessert known to man-kind.

“Don’t be such a grump, Gramps Daniel. Well, if you chased away my prey then I guess you will have to be my prey then. I'm going to gobble you up, ears first. Grr~” I fake growled and chewed on his earlobe, taking it between my teeth and shaking my head like a wolf.

Daniel tensed and froze. I took advantage of the moment to suck on his ear and smell him. Hmm, he was so tasty and he smelled like heaven. My groin felt instantly tight and my body tingled pleasantly. I was ridiculously attracted to this man. Too bad he hadn’t had more than a beer tonight and since he was so caught up on my ‘brother’, he was being extra careful to avoid even touching me. I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

I missed flirting and touching and kissing him whenever I wanted. I decided I was going to use my complete inebriation to take advantage of the situation. Now that I had him in my hands, he couldn’t escape so easily. Just like all those other times before. I was going to conquer him when he was sober and show him that he was attracted to me without any influence of alcohol being necessary. I laughed evilly.

“Hyung, get off. I think we need to skip the after party and get you home.”

I ignored his rather weak, exasperated complaint, sucking on his ear and wrapping my legs around his calf which forced our hips close. I smiled to see that he was semi-erect, flushing and hitching his breath. I sensually brushed my fingers into his hair the way he liked and sucked harder, my hips rocking against his. For a brief second, he rocked back firmly against me and moaned, his hands rubbing my back. Then, something seemed to snap in him. Like he was tired after a long battle. He roughly backed away and forced me to untangle myself. I crossed my arms and sulked.

“I’m not going home. I want to get laid tonight. Terribly.”

“Okay, you can do that,” Daniel sighed, running his hands through his hair.

I gulped and my body tensed. It was freaking hot when he did that and I wanted to do it too. I wanted to run my finger nails all over him, and then my teeth, and then my tongue. I wanted to bruise him all over and make him moan. But he wasn’t going to let me do that. Not unless he was drunk. Which he was stubbornly refusing to do of at all. Dammit, damn damn, dammit!

“How about we make a deal?” I smirked and jumped off the table.

I was wobbly. He caught me and held me up. That was sweet of him. I was weak to that, those occasional moments like earlier when he protected me when Daniel was sweet. When I saw him being sweet to my ‘brother’ in my visions, I became irrevocably jealous of that. He was hardly ever sweet to me, just arguing, pushing me away, cursing and insulting, doing the opposite of what I asked like a rebellious teenager. Then again, I hardly needed caring and I tended to act totally obnoxious because ugh…he was just flipping hot when he was pissed. I knew it was childish, but I couldn’t help getting a rise out of him, in more ways than one if I could help it.

“I’m not sure I want to hear this…” he grumbled, keeping me upright against his side.

I leaned on him with my arm around his broad shoulders and played with his blonde, silky hair. He shivered, partially from annoyance, partially I was sure because it turned him on. I smirked to see the tent in his pants growing further. I gulped and licked my lips, hungry for his body more than I'd ever been hungry for one in my couple years existence.

Hmm, how I would kill to taste and rub on that treasure just once. I had my ‘brother’s’ permission too, right? We could share him. Until I was gone. Why not? Couldn’t I be selfish just once and pursue a guy I really liked, even if he so happened to even more so like my other half? It was messed up, but then again, what in my entire existence wasn’t messed up? I couldn’t call it a life because I wasn’t exactly living was I? That was why I loved to drink. It was what made me feel really alive. It was what really made me different from my ‘brother’ because the one thing he would most certainly never do is get drunk and let himself get totally out of control and put himself at risk. That was one of the reasons I was born or created, because my 'brother' wanted to try things but he didn't have the guts or time to.

“I will go home once this party ends, no after party. If and only if, you drink a bit.”

“Define a bit…” he narrowed his gorgeous eyes at me, clearly catching on to what my plan was.

I acted like my ‘brother’, pretending to be as innocent and cute as possible. I knew I could be believable. I had years of acting experience posing as him to get him out of situations with his family and people that came visiting him at night. And I knew that Daniel wouldn’t be able to resist it. He was weak to my ‘brother’, especially when he was acting cute. Not that I couldn't understand. I was weak to him as well, which is why I was still in this miserable world dealing with my half-existence when I just wanted a way out.

I swiveled my body and tapped my fingers together, flashing kitten eyes and a slight pout. “Just a couple drinks and shots. A nice buzz. Get tipsy, dance with me, and then I will go home. Or find someone that I can go home with and then you can let me totally out of your hair. That's all I ask. Can't you play with me a bit, Niellie?”

He shook his head like he really wasn’t sure. “Don't fucking call me Niellie."

"If you don’t, then I’m going to have my way with you right here…” I whispered, giving up the cute act and returning to sucking on his ear and caressing down his chest towards his thighs.

He gasped, bit his lip, and quickly caught my hands. He sighed deeply. “Okay, I will make that deal with you. Just for thirty minutes and then we’re going out.”

“Yes!” I cheered, kissed his cheek, and then bounced away to talk to the bar tender.

Daniel groaned, raked his hands through his hair and followed. He watched from the sidelines as the drinks I ordered came out, looking like he regretted it already immensely. As he should. Because I was tricking him. I got him the strongest, most lethal stuff but he had to take it because the deal was already made. Even better, the bartender here liked me, so I got it for free.

“Can I…?”

“No, you cannot. You’re going to drink this all with the next five minutes. Bottoms up!”

We clinked a shot of tequila and took it. I offered him salt on my hand and a lemon slice. I shivered as his tongue touched my skin briefly. That was delicious, the heaven that I would never experience likely because as far as I knew that's only where humans went when they died and I was neither human or going to be 'dead' exactly. Oh, how I wanted to taste that tongue again. Daniel was such a fantastic kisser.

I closed my eyes as I danced, feeling great, praying that soon Daniel would be just as high on life with me. The great thing about booze was that it numbed my pain and I forgot about my loneliness and how conflicted and jealous of my 'brother''s life I was. The great thing about having Daniel by my side was that, if he let go and acted like himself, we had a ton of fun together and we interracted naturally, like we'd been best friends for years. I got even higher on the hormones that released from remembering what it was like to kiss me crush than I got from the pills and booze in my system.

 

 

A group of girls came to talk to me. I introduced myself and we all started dancing together. I kept an eye on Daniel, encouraging him to drink and that he should relax because I wasn’t going to disappear this time. I had pretty much shot his nerves since I kept disappearing to sneak drinks or try to get my hands on the drugs I knew were floating around.

I was looking for the harmless ones, to my defense. I had researched after my last incident what ones should most definitely not be taken with the alcohol I had had. Well, at least what wasn’t lethal. Twenty minutes later, Daniel joined me. He wasn’t quite at the state of loopy that I usually saw him but he was considerably less grumpy. I could work with that because I was charming as hell. I turned away from the girl I was dancing with and pulled him to a spot where it was just the two of us, smiling brightly.

“Woah, what are you doing?” he complained, his caterpillar golden brows forming an intense V.

I rolled my eyes, thinking that he was getting all weirded out about being publicly bi-sexual again. I ignored it and kept dancing with him, pulling him closer by the loops in his jeans. Eventually he just gave in. We weren’t doing anything raunchy like I would have liked but at least he was smiling, laughing, and having a good time. It was good to see, I liked making him smile instead of my 'brother' for once. If he would just open up to me a bit more, I'd be better at it too. We did some dorky dance moves, trying to one up each other. Then, we went all out and had a dance battle with our coolest moves, though b-boying and popping was honestly a lot harder when you were inebriated. The crowd gathered around us and cheered but after five minutes we ran away from there, rubbing our bruised arms and legs.

“We should not have done that,” I laughed and then groaned, feeling a sore spot on my ankle that had banged on the floor as I attempted Daniel's b-boy moves

Daniel was walking while rubbing his hip like an old man, groaning and wincing.

“Shit, did you throw out your back?” I asked in concern, containing my urge to tease him because he didn’t look so well.

He waved me off and smiled. It was a cute, loopy, sloppy smart of smile. Yes, the shots had finally hit in.

“Hyung, I think I’m ready for that after party," he slurred in his sexy thick accent.

I was glad that he was having a great time and wanted to stick around with me more. I hadn’t really thought there was going to be an after party with how unusually crabby and prude he had been earlier. I smiled brightly.

“Already? Hold on, I haven’t found us the right kind of girls yet. Not sure I can find your type around here…Hmm, nerdy, cute, fake innocent, glasses...”

Daniel and I stood at the edge of the crowd, judging the dancing girls like a hawk. We needed someone pretty who wasn’t too drunk and would be cool getting freaky with strangers.

“Her, her, her, and maybe her,” Daniel said as he pointed out a few chicks with a limp finger.

I scratched my chin like an evil genius as I judged them. That made Daniel crack up laughing. He literally fell to the floor, smacking it and holding his stomach like his intenstines might fall out. Which made me laugh and lose my concentration on the task at hand. He was adorable beyond belief and it filled my heart full to bursting. I helped him up and we fell over each other laughing for quite a long time. We were seriously too drunk. I grabbed his head and gave him a firm kiss, unable to resist the pull between us. He was just so dang lovable and hot sometimes I couldn’t help myself.

I half expected him to push me away. However, he was far too gone to think rationally and deny that crazy pull that was always between us. He tasted as yummy as I remembered, especially the mix of alcohol and sweet saliva. He tasted a lot like jellies. He was still using those things to cure his cravings, I guessed. He knew they wouldn't work but he was doing it for my 'brother' just to get on his good-side. That sort of irritated me. I couldn't help feeling like we were in a contest for Daniel's affections and Seongwoo was always ten steps ahead of me. 

I stopped myself from shoving my tongue past his delicious, plush, pillowy lips. He was left dazed and frozen as I returned to judging the crowd and thinking of a master plan, acting like nothing weird had just happened.

After I thought what girls would be good among the ones I had interacted with tonight, which was pretty much everyone, I had done a thorough sweep looking for someone that could entice Daniel to join the after party with me like the previous time, I called up my friends. They were out smoking in the back. I told them that we would join them in about twenty minutes.

 

 

I got Daniel and I another drink, then we went around chatting up and dancing with the girls I had picked out. Two were much drunker than I thought so we passed on them. One was way too into Daniel and clingy. He didn’t like that and to be honest a part of me didn’t because I sort of thought of him as mine, at least when we were on my turf, so I passed on her. 

 We rounded up five girls and then joined his friends in the back. We bought some more drinks and food and then we started walking to my friend’s house who was only a couple blocks down from the club. I smiled as I looked ahead of me.

Daniel had his arms around two girl’s waists. He was entertaining them with some terrible jokes and imitations. It was good to see that he was having a good time so far and that alcohol was really kicking in. So much for staying sober and keeping me in-line, I thought with an evil snicker. I was going to do something crazy that he may or may not approve of, but it had nothing to do with drugs. I licked my lips as I watched his ample bottom in tight black jeans swaying back and forth. 

“Hey, gorgeous, I have a fun event plan for that blonde guy tonight. I’m kind of wondering if you’ll help me…” I whispered to the curly, red-head under my arm. She seemed like the kinkiest one here.

She giggled and turned closer to me. I paused in telling my plan to reward her with some enticing ear sucking action. It made her melt as it did nearly every woman I’ve ever tried it on. These women were so easy. Daniel was what I wanted. Daniel was actually a challenge and seemed like he’d be a lot more fun. He had since the moment I laid eyes on him actually.

“Sure I can do that for you, oppa. As long as there’s some fun in it for me.”

I winked at her and flashed a charming, knock-out grin. “Oh, I’ll get you too. Don’t worry about that. I never leave anyone hanging, especially when they’ve done me a favor.”

She shrieked and then bit her lip as I spanked and then kneaded her tight, little butt.

 

 

The routine that my friend had for the afterparty was standard. We set the food and drinks on the kitchen table and blasted hip hop music. We would talk, dance, eat, drink, play some drinking games for an hour. Then people would usually start trickling off to different areas by couples to fool around. Sometimes things happened, sometimes weird kinky things happened, and other times no-one got lucky because people got too drunk or they were too sober and just went home.

I always made sure I was out by done though because I needed to get home so my ‘brother’ could wake up on get to school on time. I checked my watch, seeing that it was just two. I had a few hours left to make things happen.

I left the people I was talking to and eating with to find the redhead. She was in a corner dancing like a crazed stripper, using a stand-up lamp as a pole. I danced with her for awhile and got her laughing. Then I eased her away from the pole and into my arms. She was more than willing. We started slow dancing, rubbing our lower bodies together. I could feel that she was getting wet through her dress. Good, I liked when women were ready for me because it made a lot less work I didn’t feel like putting through.

Women could be so difficult to get turned on sometimes. That’s why I preferred men. They were always ready to go and didn’t need much prep time. We usually liked it rough and painful. It had been awhile since I had a guy though. Honestly, I was saving for Daniel, a part of me knew. No guys were attractive enough after I met him.

I sucked her neck and rubbed her butt, grinding my hips into her to the beat of the music. She groaned and through her head back. She called me oppa since she didn’t know my name. No one did. That was alright. I was used to it. Though there had been times that I wished I could just for once tell someone my name and have them saying it to me intimately.

“Meet me in the room with the blue door. I’m going to bring him there.”

“Okay, you got it. Don’t keep me waiting. Or I might just pass out.”

“I won’t do it if you’re passed out. I need someone responsive.”

She blew me a kiss and winked, then giggled as she scampered to the door. I chuckled as I saw her kick off her heels and start unzipping her dress before she was even in there. I found my friend and told him that I would be in there and I didn’t want to be disturbed. He noisily congratulated me for being about to get laid and we fist bumped. I found Daniel snacking on some grapes.

“Hmm, I be those balls are juicy…” I hummed in his ear, pressing up to his back so he was pinned between me and the counter.

He jumped and tried to move away. I put my hands on either side of the counter, blocking him. “I bet mine are tastier if you want to try.”

“What are you doing? And don’t talk like that!”

“Too naughty for you, kiddo? Just feeling a little cold. Warm me up, Hot Shot…”

I licked his ear and grinded my erection into his backside. It was incredibly firm and supple and large. I couldn’t wait to claim it as mine. I bet he would be so tight and warm…

“You feel plenty warm enough to me, hyung.”

“I’m not though, really. I’ve got a chill.”

We both shivered as I rocked into him, bit his ear, and slid my hand up his shirt.

“Hmm, your body is fucking fantastic. So hard and defined…” I hummed in appreciation as I felt up and down his rock-hard, well-built chest.

He must work out a lot to get like that. I envied him. I had tried working out but I was too skinny to build muscles. I had tried pigging out to gain weight but it never seemed to stick. I always just thought it was because I was too tall. Then, I wondered if it was because my body wasn’t real. Maybe I couldn’t change it because it was a mirror copy. Maybe only if my brother changed something then I would automatically become changed to like saving over a copy of a file.

“Hyung, don’t do that. I’m really trying to be good tonight…”

“You don’t need to be. You’re still single. My brother asked you to ‘watch out’ for me. I know about his whole sharing idea. Sharing is caring, as the saying goes. If you care for me, then share your body with me too. We have the same body, you know? Aren’t you nervous about how to be with a guy when you’re sober and like him? You can practice on me since it's going to be the same. I have a girl in the other room. She’s cool with threes. I want to show you that awesome time I promised. Seriously, it can be so amazing, and I know with us things will just be rockets exploded in the cosmos…”

Daniel sighed and shook his head, doing that sexy deep frown again. “What the hell does that even mean? Hyung, anyway, I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

I forced him to turn around and grabbed his face, pressing our lips together. If words weren’t working, I would convince him with my body. Things worked better that way, with everything in my life pretty much. I was better expressing myself physically than verbally. Daniel responded much better than I thought, being a typical man. Not a single hair in his body seemed to deny me once there was lip contact. He couldn't resist the incredible pull anymore either. He opened his mouth and sucked eagerly on my tongue, his strong hands embracing me and pulling me close. I could almost purr at how much I loved the way that he held me possessive yet so very gentle. I hugged him around the neck and explored his mouth, taking and conquering with enthusiasm, my hips grinding into his, my hands yanking on his hair.

“Hmm, okay. Whatever. I’m tired of fighting you. Let’s go quick before I sober up more and change my mind…” he broke our hot kiss to say.

“Yes~” I did a silly happy dance which made him shake his head and laugh with exasperation, his lust filled eyes wandering my body with appreciation.

Then I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the blue room.

 

 

“This is Red.”

I spread my hands to the woman who was naked and pleasuring herself on the bed. She raised her hand to her mouth and covered her shaved privates like she was surprised.

Daniel waved rather shyly to her as I started eagerly stripping off his shirt. “That can’t really be her name.”

“She didn’t tell me her name. Her hair's red, so Red will do.”

“I know your name though. Ong.” Daniel had a sloppy, hot smirk.

My ears perked, my heart summersaulted, and I smiled widely. I liked my name on his lips, even if it was just half of it. My stomach was full of swirling butterflies for a moment, a feeling I had never experienced until I met this special man. The guy I liked just called me Ong for the first time…

“Yeah, that is my name. But I still prefer hyung.”

“Funny, you’re brother said the same thing. I wonder why you both hate…”

I scowled and then kissed him hard, biting at his lip and scratching at his chest I had just finished revealing. I released his lip slowly dragging it between my teeth and glaring at him. I hated that I finally got him alone and the minute that he said the name that belonged to me the last few years he was back to talking about Seongwoo yet again. It was always Seongwoo. Seongwoo always came first. Seongwoo was always more important. The only reason the man I liked even hung out with me was because Seongwoo asked him to watch out for me so I didn't do something 'reckless' again. I didn't hate my brother, but I hated the way that Daniel could make me feel towards him. Inferior and insanely jealous. 

“Don’t mention my brother. Tonight you are just mine.”

He flushed and licked at his swollen lip. It seemed that he thought that was hot. His pupils dilated and the tent in his pants grew. I slowly slipped him out of his shirt, revealing the defined, chiseled body of a Greek god. His eyes were going back to the redhead making soft moans as she turned back to pleasuring herself. I smirked as I looked between them, liking where this was going. Daniel seemed to like her well enough even if she wasn’t the nerdy glasses wearing type. I had chosen well. She had a nice body and a sweet, pretty face and the red curly hair was quite exotic, like a mermaid.

“You like that, Red? We’ll give you a show that’s to die for.”

I grabbed Daniel’s head and turned him back to me. He immediately turned, closed his pretty almond eyes, and kissed me with greedy lips and a searching tongue, his hands stroking my arms and moving to the buttons at the top of my shirt. He unbuttoned them slow and careful as I slowly undid his belt, fly, and then pushed his jeans down. He stepped out of them. I slipped off my shirt. His hands traveled gentlly, curiously over my body as he took over the kiss which was a mix between sweet and sensual. I lost my senses when he started turning my nipples and sucking on my neck. Oh, yes he was good. He knew exactly what he was doing. The rumors about him were on the mark.

“Oh, fuck, Daniel, that’s good…”

His hands stroked down my tummy to my jeans. I thought he was going to remove them, but he merely undid them and stuck his hand inside, gripping my erection firmly, his teeth sinking into the hallow at my neck, harder than I expected considering how nice he had been until now. My breath hitched. So did Red’s, as she was watching us intently now. Her hand was moving faster and faster over her genitals. Daniel was pumping the head of my penis slowly, his tongue traveling to my sensitive nipples, his other hand petting the curve of my arched back and then squeezing my bum.

“Fuck yes…” I groaned, finding this the hottest thing ever as I tipped my head and shared gazes with the pretty redhead who was reaching climax.

She moaned in a higher pitch with breathy pants, the bed slightly shaking as she came. At that time, Daniel had my pants gone and his mouth was servicing my cock. I was watching her and him, my hands digging into his broad shoulders, trying to let him go at his own pace when I really wanted to just ram my cock into his mouth at a breakneck speed. He seemed to be cherishing me, looking up at me with adoration and bliss, no doubt probably imagining I was my ‘brother’ who he wished that he could really be doing this with instead.

I tried not to mind it as I had known all along what I was getting into. But it was difficult because the more I thought of it, the more jealous I felt and the more I desperately wished that we could switch places.  I wish I would be the real person Daniel was meant to be with and Seongwoo was the one that was meant to live without freedom or identity or attachments and be afraid to disappear. I sometimes just felt that we were just as right together as those two were, in a different way. We had more animalistic chemistry, for one. We had more in common as well. We had similar senses of humor and lifestyles. Therein lied a larger problem, because I sensed that Daniel didn't want to stay forever with someone who was so similar with him.

“Hmm, you’re good, Daniel. I like you…” I gently pet his golden crown of pillowy hair.

He paused with his eyes bugged out. Shit, what had I just said out loud? I wasn’t supposed to actually say that. I could cost everything. He wasn’t supposed to know that I liked him. Then he might like me first, and then I would be stealing him from my ‘brother' who Daniel was meant to fall for. My ‘brother’ deserved this perfect man, not me. I had taken so much from my ‘brother’ already without even meaning to or knowing it. I couldn’t take away his chance to be whole and a better person. I couldn’t take away the first man he honestly liked. He didn’t think I liked him until then. He thought I was just using him for his body and for my own amusement. Shit, shit, shitty shit!

“I mean, I like the way you suck,” I quickly revised my sentence.

Daniel seemed pleased, at ease, and believed that as he went back to sucking on me, this time more enthusiastically. I closed my eyes and grabbed the back of his neck, gently guiding him to the speed I wanted and using it as a clutch as I started to move my hips. He took it graciously, even when I buried myself deep down to the back of his throat and beyond. He didn’t complain or push back for a second.

 What a champ he was. What a precious, one of a kind sweetheart. God, how I liked him. How lonely and sad I was deep inside before he came into my life and filled that void up, even if it was just a bit. Even if it wouldn't likely be enough to stop me from wanting to end my own life. I was an immense relief, temporarily wanting to keep existing and feeling like I was worth something.

“Guys, that’s really hot and all. But my arm is too tired to go for more and I’m going to be getting sleepy soon,” the redhead called with mild annoyance, punctuating her statement with a soft yawn.

Daniel stopped and stood up. He kissed me sweetly and rubbed his hands over my hips. I missed his sweet lips and gentle, sensual touches already. “You’re leading hyung. What’s next? Like I said, I really didn’t have a good experience with this before. So I’m nervous.”

I leaned in and whispered what my plan was for the start, of which I planned to improvise from there. It would get the girl more excited if she didn’t know what was going to happen to her. Daniel took the top and I took the bottom. He pinned the girl’s wrist, kissed her good, and rubbed her nipples as I went to town on her pussy. She was quite noisy and shaky. She came much faster than I thought. Then, to our surprise, once we had her sandwiched between us to start something else, she fell asleep. Complete with snoring.

“Huh, should I feel offended or relieved by this?” Daniel whispered with a little laugh, looking at me over her shoulder.

I laughed and shrugged. “Well, sometimes this does happen. I guess we waited too long to start things with her.”

“Sorry that was my bad. We took too long playing just the two of us. We missed the window of opportunity. Girls usually get really sleepy after orgasms, I’m sure you know. Since you're a manslut and all. You just tasted good and your body’s so hot, I got carried away...”

“Oh, really? Was it?” I smirked and licked my lips.

His eyes filled with desire as he stared at my mouth and bit his lip. “Yes, I will grudgingly admit it this once but don't get cockier or I'll get turned off in a snap. Let’s move her and just continue the two of us. I hate to say it, but I’ve become addicted to kissing you and my cock is twitching just watching you talk.”

I almost gasped I was so happy to hear those words, especially that Daniel was finally talking rather dirty with me. I thought I could certainly get him with me if there was a girl as well. I didn’t dream that he would want to be with just me. Maybe it was just the alcohol talking.  Maybe he was way more drunk than he had ever been. Should I take advantage of that? I probably should stop this whole thing because I wasn't meant to get attached to anything in this world when I would very soon disappear...

One look at him strong enough to move the girl to the floor and put a blanket over her body and I was sure. Yes, I really should and would. Because I wanted Daniel something fierce and here was probably my only chance. I couldn't help but get attached. Honestly, it was probably too late. He'd meant something to me from the moment that I'd first seen him. 

 

 

Daniel slid onto the bed and took me into his strong, warm arms. I entangled our legs and ran my fingers through his silky hair, tugging on it slightly. We kissed sensually with playful nips and eager sucks. Then we took turns exploring each other’s bodies, slower than we had been earlier.

I had considered letting him top but he said that he wanted me to top him. I rolled him over and pinned him to the bed, raising his hands up. We kissed fierce as I grinded our erections together until we were both sufficiently leaking and sensitive. Then, I licked and sucked down his body, paying extra attention to his nipples and abs. He inhaled, groaned, and thrust up his hips as put my lips to his head. I gently kissed all over and then flicked my tongue, my hands kneading butt his above the sheet.

He had the finest ass ever. Like just cooked over the campfire marshmallows. I found his hole and started to stretch him. He groaned and reached for me, silently begging to be touched more. I held his hand as I took him deep inside my mouth. I almost died and went to heaven right there. He was the tastiest morsel. I greedily sucked and licked him, my fingers quickly pulsing in and out, twisting, spreading, stroking. This was the hottest sex ever and we were just doing foreplay.

“Hyung, I'm so ready right now. Give it to me…I want you, bad…” he pleaded with a husky, weak tone, his eyes closed tight, his sweat beading on his forehead, his plush red lips panting.

I jumped up, putting myself between his legs as he wrapped his thighs around my hips, and eagerly kissed him. He had such addicting lips. We kissed greedily and moaned into each other’s mouths as I grinded near his hole some more. I couldn’t believe this was about to finally happen. It was all I had been dreaming about since I met him two weeks ago.

“Please, inside…” he got out before I attacked him with my diving tongue again.

I reached down and put my head at his entrance. I then held his hands and pulled back to watch his expression as I slowly pressed in, taking him and claiming him as my own, for the night. Like I wished he could be more than just physically, but I had to just take what I could get in my mediocre, lacking, deprived life. He was meant to be and always would be my brother, outside of this single, physical moment we had when were loosened up from the alcohol in our systems.

 

“Hyung, you feel so good…” he gasped, looking at me with stars of wonder in his eyes. Like how he usually looked at Seongwoo. This look though, tonight this look was only for Ong.

I smirked proudly, my heart betraying the naughty moment by skipping like a school girl. “Told you I would be. Clearly you thought I was bluffing. I'm not cocky for no reason, Niellie.”

I licked my lips as I watched him fall apart from the first couple thrusts. Daniel was now putty in my hands, molten lava underneath me that I was going to ride down the mountain. I started out rather slow and gentle, enjoying the pleasure and surprise playing out on his face.

“Harder hyung…” he panted, his hips moving up to meet me, encouraging me to really move.

I hugged him and pressed my lips to his ear, licking and nipping it here and there. “You asked for the right thing, Hot Stuff.”

“Oh, fuck….” He groaned as I started to thrust into him hard, fast, and deep as I could manage.

He held onto me for deer life, his thighs clinging and his fingers digging into my back as I rocked over him, making the bed shake hard enough it could probably fall off its legs any minute.

“Yes, more, hyung, so good, fuck yeah…” he cried as I found his prostate and bit his ear.

I groaned, “I’m close. You?”

He gasped and dug his fingers into my hands. “So close.”

I linked our fingers together and ordered in a sensual tone against his ear, “Come together with me, Niellie. Now.”

“Yes…”

I reached down to stroke his head and watched as we came closer. He had the hottest orgasm face, half smiling, eyes closed, face flushed, sweat everywhere making him glisten and sparkle.

“It’s good to be with you, Daniel. Really good...” I whispered, caressing and nuzzling him as I came down from my high. I like you. 

Better than you can ever imagine. I love this moment more than any moment in my short existence. Maybe this is what I had been living for all along. This intimacy that felt real and meaningful.

"I like you so much. Tonight, finally, you are mine and I'm going to bask in that." This was muttered only in my mind, of course.

We had had the most incredible orgasm, coming with passionate cries against each other's mouths, and were covered in warm, sticky fluid and sweat. I didn’t care. I liked that, especially because of who’s fluids I was sharing.  I held him to my chest after we cleaned up. He nuzzled into my chest and kissed me a few times, his arm squeezing around my back. Our hearts were still racing and our breathing uneven.

 

 

I wasn’t sure about him but my mind was totally fuzzy and I felt sort of broken. I didn’t have the ability to speak now. The alcohol had made me extremely drowsy too. But I couldn’t fall asleep yet I wasn’t at home. For Daniel, it was apparently too late. I heard him snoring a few minutes later as I was still fighting to stay awake.

I chuckled and smiled as I kissed the top of his head and pet his muscular back. I had worn him out, aw. Good job, me. Not bad for our first and probably only fuck. It had been everything I ever wanted and my plan had worked perfectly yet somehow I wasn’t happy. The good feelings from my high and the incredible climax had warn off and the darkness was coming to consume me again.

 I hugged him tighter as the loneliness and resentment and sadness and confusion set in. I wanted more. I couldn’t help it. I wanted what my brother had, a real life, a real body, an exclusive identity, my own name, freedom to go about as I pleased during day or night, a future with a career and dreams, and I wanted a man that would love me and that I could call truly mine and be truly his without having to hide anything or share or give him up later. I wanted that desperately. But I had no idea if I could ever have it or how I could find the way to get it. As for love, I only wanted this man and I wasn't going to be allowed to have him.

My life truly sucked and the most frustrating, hopeless thing about it was that there wasn’t anything that I could do to change it. Fate had made me a shadow of a nearly perfect human being sent down to help him become whole again. That was the bane for my existance and my sole purpose. I was never going to have anything I wanted. Because I wasn’t human. I was just a soul split in two given a temporary human body.

I could disappear any moment. And the closer we got to Daniel who I thought was the one that was meant to break our curse, then the closer I was to disappearing. Sure, I wasn’t going to stop whatever was happening with Daniel even if it was leading to that, because I wanted my ‘brother’ to be happy. That’s all I had ever really wanted from ages ago. I loved him, like he were my own family. But I couldn’t say that I was okay with the idea of knowing that I was just going to be gone without my existence ever having any meaning or sense of fulfillment.

I sighed and tears rolled down my cheeks as I held the man I very much liked but could never be mine to my chest.

"My god, Seongwoo, if only I didn't love you, bro...I would take this wonderful man for myself like nobody's business...Instead, he'll go to you and I will disappear without him ever knowing that my feelings were genuine..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Well now you know all about the other Seongwoo, bad boy wild mysterious complicated lonely selfless depressed Ong. Just Ong. Because he doesn't have an identity but he desperately wants one of his own to at least be told apart from the original. I hope that you guys feel for him and can understand him. He's much deeper than what I've suggested, only hinting at bits and pieces through Daniel and Seongwoo. He's sensitive and he feels things very intensely, though he hides that from the world. They both love him because of what he is deep inside that you can see when you get very close to him and he opens up to you. But he hasn't fully opened up to anyone. Actually we have yet to see just how deep his sadness goes and how golden of a heart he has. He's actually pretty much the nicest, most selfless, pitiful person that you could ever meet. You will just have to wait and see by the end of this story.
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed the smut. I know, threesomes are weird. I was going to have them actually do it but then I got queasy thinking about writing it and I thought you might not like it so I cut it out at the last minute. It's all about Ongniel anyway. This isn't the last time they're going to be together, hopefully it wasn't too short or lacking in detail. By the way, I'm not going to have Seongwoo have visions about this. Because Ong knows that it's rather forbidden, any time they have sex he puts extra energy into making sure Seongwoo cannot see. He knows how to do it and uses it to protect Seongwoo otherwise he'd worry but Seongwoo doesn't know this is even possible. 
> 
> Curious to know what you guys think! Now you know all about their mystery and their complicated situation and how everyone feels about it. What do you think will happen next? How do you think Daniel will take the news? Do you think Daniel is the one to break their spell? What do you think will happen if he says that he likes both of them? Go ahead and predict away. I won't be giving any spoilers or saying if you're right and wrong. Because in the next few chapters it's all going to come out and a solution will arise. I will say that eventually this story will be getting angsty and it will not have a happy ending exactly for all like you guys are hoping for. 
> 
> See you in a week! Please recommend this story, comment, leave kudos, read my other stories and updates, and also listen to W1's new album a lot! Love you all, good night~
> 
> <3 Raina


	11. The Coin Falls...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel falls farther and farther for both Ong and Seongwoo as their mystery becomes unraveled.

The next week was a blur to me. The saying goes that time flies when you're having fun and I thought it was really true. I had too much fun at the library and cafeteria with Seongwoo, then I also had fun visiting Ong at the cafe.

Meeting them both on a regular basis sort of like we were dating was a unique experience. They were really different but I found myself liking both of them and finding their personalities and habits unique and charming in their own ways. If you were to ask me to choose now, I would say that it would be near impossible. Which was why I was partially glad that the twins had decided to share me, so as not to end up fighting or hurting each other. Though, to be honest, I was still kind of weirded out and felt guilty, as if I was two-timing.

Apparently Ong had offered to stop seeing me by avoiding the places we went to early on, but Seongwoo had refused. Seongwoo felt guilty more so because Ong had met me first. In a way, Seongwoo felt that meant that Ong had dibs on me.

I remembered how I had hated Ong before but now I had grown used to even his dislikable traits, overshadowed by his good ones and how he made me feel amazing physically and protected and cared for. I looked back at even our first meeting with fondness and laughed about it. We laughed about it together, in fact, him cruelly teasing me for being so uptight and fighting how attracted I was though he could sense it from the very beginning.

My head was totally muddled and they were almost merging into the same person somehow. Undoubtedly it was because they looked and sometimes acted the same. Like the soft way they smiled at only me and the musical way they laughed, for example.

 It turns out, luckily, sharing hadn't meant that I needed to do anything kinky. It was just spending time with both of them and being open towards the other about what I did and thought of his brother. Sometimes I found it strange how we spent half our time together talking about each other.

It was clear that they missed and were curious and very much loved each other, though they hardly had the time to be together despite living under one roof. I wondered how it was possible and envied them since I was an only child and I honestly saw too much of my roommate and his boyfriend.

Dongho was over often and I had had a few more run ins with them in the middle of not so innocent acts. I was pretty sure they did stuff quietly as I was sleeping but I was too creeped out to ask or tell them to stop at the time. I just pretended to be sleeping. It left some permanent scars, sort of like when you overheard your parents doing it.

 

 

 Today I had scheduled to get early dinner after my tutoring lesson with Seongwoo. As soon as I got to our usual table at the library, I ruffled his hair, pushed up his glasses, and kissed his cheek.

"Hi, hyung. You're gorgeous as usual. Like a wall painting."

"Thanks..."

He looked down and up at me shyly his cheeks pink and his pretty lips smiling gently in that self-conscious, nervous way he had. It took him a few minutes to get warmed up to seeing me usually, but at least he was more so himself and I got him to stop refusing compliments at least.

"I like your look."

I smiled wide, then chuckled to myself as I sat down. Seongwoo pointed his finger at me like a gun and narrowed his eyes, looking adorable enough to have his nose bitten off. Which is something that Ong would say. He was rubbing off on me, I realised. The way I treated Seongwoo was sort of overlapping with the way that Ong treated me. Lots of teasing, open affection, and cheesy compliments.

"Is there something funny? You didn't do your homework? What did my brother say bad about me now?"

I shrugged. "I was testing you guys out. I wore this same outfit yesterday. It turns out you guys have the same tastes. You both like it when I look chic and you both like me in white. I like finding things you guys have in common."

"Oh, well that is an interesting observation. We have the same taste in men and fashion, I guess. Are you testing us in other places?" He asked curiously, going back to highlighting and note taking for his big final exam he needed to pass in order to graduate.

"Sure, I have. You have pretty similar tastes in food, books, and movies, but your clothing and color choices are different."

"What about...the way we kiss? Or other stuff? Are you comparing us with that too?"

Seongwoo bit his lip and pushed up his glasses, clicking his pen noisily. I knew now that was a sign he was anxious and he was thinking negative thoughts about himself. I took his hands in mine over his book and brushed his fingers until he looked me shyly in the eye. I chuckled as he did his odd, cat-like blink. They both did it, actually, but Seongwoo did it more frequently than Ong. Ong only did it when he was really thinking or concentrating about something.

"I don't compare you. You're different people. To be honest, I enjoy your kisses more. Do you know why?"

Seongwoo's pretty eyes went big and he chewed on his lip some more, shaking his head. I reached up to pull his lip out of his teeth that was too tempting now. I had promised grudgingly not to kiss in public places on his mouth.

"Because it has more meaning with you. You don't kiss just for the hell of it. You have been selective. I like knowing that only I get you. Only I am worthy of your affection. Your brother, well, he just gives kisses out like their stickers. He has kissed half the world."

Seongwoo blinked, twitched his nose, and slightly pouted. "Then, why do you seem like you enjoy more with him?"

I chuckled and brushed his shaggy bangs off his forehead a bit. "How could you even know, hyung? I don't enjoy it more. It's just that we haven't done other stuff. I want to take things slow and not push you, so I haven't tried. Trust me, it’s not like I don’t want to. I’m very curious what things would be like with you."

We had kissed a few times but not gone past a short make out session in the shadowed hallway under some stairs that was sweet but a bit awkward. With Ong, on the other hand, we had done some things I wasn't proud of after his work in the empty cafe he was supposed to be cleaning. I certainly hopeed that Seongwoo didn't know about that.

The first time, I had told Ong that we shouldn't because it might make his brother upset if he knew but then he started touching and biting my turn on spots he seemed to know precisely by heart and I was a gonner. Ong was always finding new ways to persuade me, especially in terms of making himself more resistible looking, dirty talking to get me hard, and guilt tripping me by reminding me that we had Seongwoo's permission to do as we pleased and that his time was limited. That sexy, infuriating man would do anything to get me to fool around with him and I was terrible at refusing the devil's sinful whispers and temptations.

 I was kind of worried that one day I was going to go to the cafe and he was going to be gone. I knew he was going to be the type to disappear somehow without saying goodbye or having a party for people to say theirs. I had asked a few times to both brothers where, why, and when he would get going, but they were both vague. I just knew it was safe and somewhere very far away that I wouldn't be able to communicate with him anymore by normal means but maybe by some sort of spiritual means, whatever that meant.

These twins spoke in riddles and kept me running confusing loops about a lot of things still and I wasn't sure they would ever let me in on this particular secret. It made me very conflicted and frustrated. I was starting to think maybe Ong was going to do some sort of huge crime and then get carted off to jail or run away to hide in another country, changing his identity and throwing out all his contacts. I had watched too many action and crime movies it was true, but Ong did have that mysterious dangerous sort of secret spy feeling about him.

Maybe he was on a mission from the CIA to kill our president? Somehow that would fit and wouldn’t really surprise me. At least it would explain the knife he carried around.

Anyway, what was conflicting was my feeling about it. I probably should have been happy and relieved with the idea of him leaving. It made my relationship, which wasn't progressing the way I had expected or first hoped with Seongwoo, much simpler. We weren't dating, I think, because Seongwoo felt like his brother liked me and he didn't want to take me away, saying his brother had lost and had many things taken from him. I saw it the other way around, so I didn't really get it. Seongwoo had refused to elaborate.

"Daniel? Hello? Did you not hear what I said?"

 I shook my head and brought my attention to Seongwoo who was clicking his pen in my face, feeling guilty for thinking of his brother during our time. I tried my hardest not to do that. They both deserved better if we were properly sharing me.

"Sorry hyung, what was that?" I smiled sweetly and devoted my full attention to him, which wasn’t difficult once you really tried because he was so freaking lovable.

 "I was asking if you wanted to visit my place sometime. I will let you know when it's free. We have to go when my brother’s still out, so we probably need to wait for school to be over with or the next holiday. I wouldn't mind...trying other stuff...it's been a long time for me too..."

He blushed and then that made me blush and flapper my mouth open like a fish. Seongwoo clearly was asking me to have sex with him, wasn't he? He was saying that he thought of it and that he wanted to because he had had a dry spell for a long time. He wanted me to be the first to wet his deserted body. Wow. That was a dream come true and also kind of scary. With him, I would need to be extra careful gentle and sweet and I suddenly wasn't confident I could do it well.

Ong had lots of terrible sex and most times we did stuff we had been drunk so we hadn't cared or noticed fine details, but I would really need to with Seongwoo. If he hadn't had sex since his ex, then he would be practically a virgin and I would want to make him feel like he'd gone to heaven because he deserved it. I was pretty sure if his ex hadn't been able to appreciate him, then he likely hadn't been able to properly make love to him. I wasn’t sure if I was any good at gay sex, but I would try my best for him if he wanted me, eagerly. I would follow him into a black hole with my tail wagging, hell.

"Okay, let's do that. You just let me know when is good. I will pull out all the stops for you. All my moves and tricks," I promised with a grin.

 "I want what you did two days ago in the cafe..." he whispered with a much too familiar smirk.

My eyes widened and I froze and gaped. He couldn't possibly mean what I was thinking of, could he? Seongwoo wanted to do sixty-nine with me on top of a cafe table?

"I'm going to kill your brother. He should not be telling you stuff! I thought we agreed about that!"

I frowned and took out my phone to message him. I scolded him harshly with a ton of cuss words. Seongwoo giggled behind his pink hoodie sleeve, held over his palms as usual. I grabbed his hand and glared at him playfully, then I bit his cute, white, thin, long fingers.

"He didn't tell me necessarily, I just sort of know things in a way..."

"I told you many times about hiding your beautiful smile and I want to hear all your laughs. They are all mine anyway. I know I'm the only one to make you laugh and get to hear that musical sound. Besides your brother. But he's more annoying than funny, I think."

Seongwoo shook his head in disagreement. "I disagree. He is the funniest person ever. I wasn't funny until I started talking to him. He taught me how and brought out that side of me. I had no idea I could be funny before we started living together."

"Ah, I see. I wish he acted funnier around me then. He’s always trying to piss me off because that makes us hor....uh, never mind."

 I cut myself off before I said something weird. I needed to remember who I was talking to about Ong here and how his feelings might get hurt to hear about our escapades. His brother really shouldn't have told him anything.

I messaged him with more scolding. He hadn't responded though. I wondered if he was sleeping now. Ong oddly never answered me until long after Seongwoo went back home actually. And Seongwoo oddly never messaged me back between around 6:30 pm and the next day. I just figured he was studying or working or sleeping early. Ong I had no idea about. Who knew what that troublemaker was doing outside of work, honestly.

"How far have you gotten through the study guide?"

 I pushed Ong out of mind. I didn’t need to care so much about his whereabouts. Now Seongwoo was all business and I needed to start our session so I didn’t get scolded from him.

"I completed it all and I've memorized the first half nearly. I've come prepared to be tested. I have rewards too!"

I put out snacks and stickers and handed him my typed-up study guide Minhyun had helped me organize.

"Stickers really? Such a choding," he snorted as he looked through the Apeach character stickers.

He took one off and put it on my cheek, then the same one on his. It looked like we had a couple tattoo. I took out my phone and snapped a picture. Afterwards, I looked through the few photos I had but realized I had none of Ong. He refused to have his picture taken by me, saying that it wouldn't be good for people to linger over him when he was gone. I made a mental note to get a picture of him soon. I didn't want to forget him, even if I ended up somehow married to his brother and we never saw him again. I was curious if me and Ong looked as wonderful and suitable together as me and Seongwoo did. I doubted it though.

"Cute~ Send it to me."

"It's already saved in our hearts." I made the square motion with my two fingers that I had seen trending online from some survival show.

"Ew, cheesy aegyo is a definite NG. Cough up!"

I complained as I paid him a dollar. I did too many NGs, so he had made an NG jar that went to snacks and study materials. When I was passing over the dollar, my eyes got caught on an assignment sticking out of the back of his book. I didn't linger long on the fact he got a perfect score plus extra credit somehow. My eyes went to three characters I had hoped to see on any of his belongings. It was his full name.

 "Oh, this is your real name, huh? Ong Seongwoo? Cool name. I guess your brother has the same last name. What's his first name then?"

Seongwoo hid the paper quickly and avoided answering me, changing the topic to quizzing me on what I claimed to remember. I tried to play the game I had with his brother when we studied that one time in the café, but Seongwoo couldn't stand the idea of hurting me. He tickled my wrist instead and I had to bear with it without making a sound that it bothered me. He had the cutest evil snicker.

 

 

An hour later of constantly grilling me on what I got wrong the first two runs through until I got it right, we were both hungry.

"Seongwoo hyung, let's go~ I'm starving and I hear your stomach growling like an EXO song."

He didn't deny it any time I said it and I was already getting used to it. It was a sweet, cute, fresh, unique kind of name that fit him. The circle in the characters reminded me of his large eyes and the shape of his mouth when he gasped in surprise just before he would NG me for something. Seongwoo smiled as he closed his book and started packing up with his free hand.

"Eu reu rong eu reu rong eu reu rong ne~" he sang the song in an aegyo version.

I joined as I helped him pack, loving that little jump and shiver I still got when we accidentally touched. I took it as one of his many adorable habits and a compliment. I carried his backpack as well in order to be a gentleman. I often did this sort of thing partially to impress him at my awesome potential boyfriend skills but mostly just because I wanted to protect, care for him, and take some of his crazy load off.

 He had a ton to do before he could graduate on top of his internship, tutoring, and now hanging out with me afterwards. Yet he never once complained or slacked. He was an angel or a saint. I really admired and respect him, but I also didn’t want him to get burned out and end up in the hospital from pushing himself too far.

I led him by the hand. We passed Sungwoon at the exit. He signed to me if that was my new boyfriend. I white-lied and signed back with pride that he was. He gave me a thumbs up and then bowed to Seongwoo.

"Old friend of mine and classmate," I explained.

Seongwoo smiled softly and squeezed my hand. "You don't need to explain yourself. It's okay if you're seeing other guys. I like you anyway, even if you're not fully mine. I guess I can share you with others if I have to."

I blushed as he swooped into kiss my cheek out of the blue.

"Do y-you w-want me to be just yours? Because that's an option I'm worth exploring..." I stuttered out excitedly, finding myself faltering and needed to be led across campus.

 Seongwoo giggled, catching himself from covering his laugh which would have earned him more gentle scolding. I was proud of his progress so I gave him a thumbs up. Seongwoo was gradually forgetting what lies his ex had said and how he had forced him to act to shape his ideal. I was helping him find himself again and be comfortable and confident with that. His smile when he genuinely laughed was blinding and made my insides into mush.

"I think you're beautiful. Date me," I blurted out simply because I had too much feels for Ong Seongwoo at the moment to control.

Then, I covered my mouth with a humiliated look on my face. That was not at all the way I had pictured my first confession going. I don't think I had ever been this uncool. Seongwoo laughed harder than ever and smacked my chest as we went into the restaurant.

"I wouldn't mind, but let's wait a bit. At least let's see what happens with my brother. If he hates you or goes away, then it's an option. But otherwise I'm fine with the way things are. Sharing is caring, as the saying goes."

I sighed and ran my hand over my hot face, trying to slip on my lost composure.

"You twins are so odd. Mental really."

Seongwoo looked away from the large menu board and smiled impishly in a way that was just like his brother when he was sober and joking around with me in the cafe during his breaks, which he took too much of but his co-workers were totally charmed to the point of being whipped so they didn't complain.

"Thanks. We take that as a compliment. It means we are special and charming."

I smiled in return and pet his messy, too long hair that fell all over his eyes, covering his golden rims.

"Indeed you both are. Very special, regular charmers. My every day has been far from boring or mediocre since I got involved with the two of you. At least I finally know one of your secrets. Ong Seongwoo, huh? It's an unusual name. Why did you hide it? Were you bullied about it? Or annoyed because people didn't think it was real?"

Seongwoo changed the subject yet again. He really didn’t like talking about his name and it made me curious. "I think I will have cheese and bulgogi. How about you?"

I shook my head and chuckled, finding him too adorable and so used to both brothers doing this I hardly got frustrated anymore. I turned to the board and put my energy into choosing what kimbap to get.

We sat down at a table right next to each other ten minutes later with four rolls. I passed him chopsticks and tissues. Then, I got him some kimchi, radish, fishcake pieces, and water from the self bar.

We ate in silence for a bit. I teased him about how he couldn't eat a single piece of kimbap whole. He was a messy eater no matter what it was. He was the clumsiest guy I had ever met and it seemed that I made it worse by being close to him or watching him eat, which I admittedly enjoyed doing.

Seongwoo was too cute when he was munching. He took little bites and stuffed the food in his cheek pockets like a squirrel. I picked up the pieces that fell out and fed them to him one by one with my own chopsticks between bites of my own meal. He sheepishly grinned and took them, politely covering his mouth. I liked the look he got in his eyes when I did nice things for them. Appreciative, affectionate, slightly embarrassed, and incredibly shy.

"Aigoo, for your birthday I know what I'm buying you. Training chopsticks, a high chair for adults, and a bib."

He narrowed his eyes at me and scrunched his face, pouting. I scrunched up my face because he was too adorable to take, then pinched his chin and stole a kiss quickly. Seongwoo smacked my arm and then hid his face in the collar of his hoodie, sticking his hood up to avoid any gaping customers. I wrapped my arm around him and shook him gently. He was such fun to tease. I had never seen someone with such cute reactions as him.

"Stop being so squeamish. No one was or is even looking. Don't care so much about others. We're the ones living our lives. We should live freely while we can because we’re young and don't know any better yet as adults say. Just do what you want like me and your brother do. Be impulsive."

"I can't do that. I don't have an impulsive bone in my body and I care what people think too much," he grumbled into the cloth.

I kissed him noisily over the white hood and hugged him tight as he squeaked and tried to escape but he was much weaker than me so escape was impossible.

"Don't you worry. I'm going to change you bit by bit. For the better, unlike your ex."

I put the food far away and told him that he couldn't eat more until he did something impulsive.

"Stupid, obnoxious, mean, hypocritical puppy," he glared at the table with his arms crossed.

I chuckled and bothered him by tickling him with one finger on his waify stomach.

"Just one little thing, Seongwoo hyung~ I'm sure a little small part of you wants to let loose. You sound like you're envious of your brother for always doing whatever he wants. I know he pushes you to have fun and be more carefree. I will be there to help and push you too. Nothing bad is going to happen. I'll protect you even from embarrassment. I promise you. Do it, do it, do it~" I started chanting.

 He looked incredibly annoyed and thus cute enough for me to nibble on as a snack. "Shut up already, I'll do it!"

Following that, my crush was suddenly in my arms, half on my lap, hugging me tight around the shoulders. He kissed my neck gently and hid his red face. I chuckled and embraced him back patting him with affection. I was proud of him for his bravery, though it was hardly anything on the wild scale. Not compared to his heathen of a brother.

There were several people staring at us but I lied to him that there wasn't anyone. Otherwise, he would stop and I honestly didn't want him to, ever. Hugging him fully like this was incredible. He made me feel like a king on top of the world no the universe. With Seongwoo as mine, then I felt like I could rule over the whole universe and I had everything I ever wanted.

"Hyung, don't move, let's stay like this..." I whispered, stopping him from pulling away.

He hummed and tickled me in complaint but didn't try to squeeze out of my arms right away. I pet his back and over his hooded head, sighing in pleasure as I held him close.

Please don't go anywhere, even if your brother goes away. You can't follow him. I can't lose both of you. I'm already attached and I need at least one of these crazy, charming oddball brothers in my life. I feel like they complete me and make me a better man somehow. Please, at least promise you won't leave me too, Seongwoo. I couldn't bare it. At least one of you needs to be officially mine this year. Preferably, you.

 

 

When I went to the cafe, I did as usual. I played it cool, pretending I just went into the cafe randomly not recalling what times hyung was working. I went to a table and set out my stuff to study, them got to work, casting glances around the room.

It didn't take me long to find him but he didn't notice me right away. He was usually waiting for me looking at the door around this time. Today the manager I took it was in. He was a rather scary guy.

I tensed as I listened to hyung get loudly scolded for all the things he had broken and for being inappropriate with customers, giving some his numbers and having little dates with them on his breaks. I saw a flash of red as my temper rose at the fact he did that with someone besides me. I watched him with worry, half expecting some kind of weapon to appear or for him to just storm out saying he quit.

To my surprise, he bowed and apologized several times with a solemn, apologetic, serious expression. I had never expected he could look humble and polite. It was weird. I kind of wanted to go and step between them and defend him since he was just sitting there taking it. I didn’t like seeing him so meek. It just wasn’t my hyung.

As I got up though, the manager turned around and hyung looked towards me and pretended to be killing himself in various ways and hurting him. I sat back down and laughed, good to see that he was back to himself. He waved and winked at me, signing that he would have a latte to me in just a bit.

'Later, thanks, careful not to break anything else, butterfingers,' I mouthed. He gave me an okay sign, stuck out his tongue at my playful jab, and then got to work behind the counter again.

I tried to get back to studying but he was distracting. I liked watching hyung at work. It was weird yet very hot seeing him being serious. He was pretty deft at making drinks and dealing with customers when he wasn't showing off or trying to get numbers. Funnily enough though, he got more numbers somehow when he wasn't openly flirting, it seemed. They wrote it on napkins or empty cups or his hand. They lingered while they were waiting and even after they got their coffees to talk or just watch him, biting their lips as they checked out his butt and fine profile, some friends giggling and whispering to each other.

Part of me agreed with them. Then another part of me felt like shoeing them away because I felt jealous and protective. It didn't make sense because I thought of Seongwoo as mine but I also in a way felt territorial of the player, ultimate free-man Ong.

 

 

He came over with my coffee directly. I pretended to be really focused, not liking to let him know that he affected me. My heart was racing though and my skin tingling just sensing that he was nearby me.

He put down my coffee and put his hand on my shoulder, whispering not just in but against my ear in that crazy, seductive way that had me imagining his sweet, amazing, hot lips on my skin. "Hey, Hot Stuff. Really nice to see you again. Go to the bathroom and wait for me in five minutes. I can’t wait for you until closing time. I’m horny as fuck because you are looking hella fine. Thanks for wearing the look I suggested. You won’t regret it once you see how rock hard it’s got me."

 There were no male customers around so the bathroom would be empty currently. I hummed and nodded, taking the coffee.

We brushed fingers and he nibbled my ear, making me shiver and stiffen. "See you soon~"

A few minutes later, I went in the direction of the bathroom. Hyung glanced at me with a crooked smirk as I passed by. The promising look and his attractive face and the way his uniform shirt was unbuttoned made me hard.

I felt nervous and excited as I waited inside the bathroom. That conversation earlier had been extremely promising. I was glad I hadn’t changed before coming here after my date with Seongwoo. The door opened and he came in with out his apron on. He shut the door and locked it. I waited with my arms crossed.

"So, I heard your brother’s name today. You’re really called Ong, huh? What's your first name? Is it similar to Seongwoo then since you’re brothers? Seongju? Seongmu? Seonggyu?"

He looked taken aback and uncomfortable. “Those names are awful…”

I sighed. "You're not going to tell me your name, are you?"

He smirked sexily. "Later. I missed you. I’m so freaking hard, you have no idea. No time to talk now."

He grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me hard. I hummed and pressed on his chest in retaliation. He resisted, bit my lip hard, and forced his tongue in when I cursed. The way he kissed me passionately and tore my pants down had me melting. It was a shock, an incredible turn on, irresistible, and competely unique to any person I had been around.

He always did this. I tried to refuse but he came onto me like a bull giving me hardly any time to reason and then he used his skills to make it so I couldn't think or refuse.

He pinned me to the door and rocked his epically hard front against my boxers, our sensitive erections rubbing together, making us both hiss, groan, and kiss even harder, tongues and teeth everywhere. He raised my wrists up above my head and held them, his free hand cupping my butt as he grinded harder and faster into me.

Ong turned me around, pulled down my boxers too, and took out a bottle of lube he had carried around in his pocket. The idea that he was waiting to fuck me every day if we got the chance made me hotter. I enjoyed being wanted more so than I even wanted someone. To say that I didn’t want him was a huge lie though. I wasn’t in such denial. I came here to be fucked and fondled by him, even though I knew I wasn’t the only one he gave attention to. I couldn’t resist the jerk, he was just too damn good at it and I was at that age where I was pretty much horny and thinking of sex all the time.

 He kissed, licked, and bit my bare thighs as he spread the liquid in his hands and rubbed it to warm it up. "Tell me about your day. Your accent and deep voice turn me on like crazy, Hot Stuff."

I leaned on the door and closed my eyes, waiting to feel his amazing fingers on me. I told him about my rather uneventful day. Hyung always asked about my day and other questions to keep me talking more. He didn't like me asking questions and talking about himself, though there were moments where he opened up so I was learning about him bit by bit. He was a very talented guy who did a lot with his time and knew a lot of cool even famous people. He was musically gifted as well.

I bit my lip and groaned as he worked sheer magic inside of me in preparation for something even better I was anticipating as I fantasized. He encouraged me to keep talking about things in my day and my date with his brother. When he added a tongue to his finger though, I couldn't talk anymore. I bit the collar of my shirt and clenched my fists as my body tingled and set fire everywhere, my cock rock hard pulsing and leaking.

"Hyung..."

He reached around to stroke my cock as he scissored and thrust his graceful, thin fingers into me. He might be clumsy but he certainly knew what he was doing when it came to my center. My knees were going weak and I groaned thickly, rocking into his pumping hand. He was so quick to bring me to the brink and skilled enough to keep me right there balanced but never tipping over until he could join. It drove me insane and kept me begging at times for me, which really wasn’t liked me and made me feel shameful about later.

"Turn around."

I did so eagerly, panting like a dog in heat and parting my mouth in welcome. As I hoped, he met me with hot dominant kisses, pressing our warm bodies right up against each other, shoving his tongue deep in my mouth. I kissed back fiercely, sucking on his sweet, coffee flavored tongue and chewing on his silky, glossed lips. He hitched my leg over his hip and continued to thrust his fingers deep as he grinded our bare penises together. He left his pants on, just his fly open, and the way the material rubbed my balls was incredibly arousing.

My hands explored his small back, using the leverage to hold myself up. He pulled back, both of us smirking and panting. He sweetly nuzzled my nose which made my heart flip. I wasn't used it it, but those rare moments he did something sweet, cute, and couply like with me really got to me. They stirred my heart and I had to remind myself not to have feelings for him. Because he was just my troublemaker of a friend that I temporarily fooled around with here and there, just a way for both of us to have fun and blow off steam. When I had sex with hyung and even the thought of it, then my cravings to smoke were majorly curbed. That was another benefit that kept me coming back for more.

"Bend over, hold something."

“Thank fucking god, finally. You really didn’t need to spend this much time on foreplay.”

He helped me get into position, then spread lube on himself and more around my hole. I bit my lip and whined, eagerly pulling him to me and pressing him against my cool backside. Not much longer, he warmed me up in several ways as he eased inside me. I held the door handle and the towel hanger, tensing under his warm, soft hands which were now firmly on my hips.

"Hmm, I really missed you. I can’t help it. I need to kiss and caress you. I can't just wham, bam, thank you ma'am only selfishly caring for my own needs and pleasures. You’re different, Daniel, I’ve told you that yet you never seem to believe me, so what can I do but drive you crazy, yet again, like I only I can do and you know that very well…"

He bent down to sweetly kiss and nibble my ear, rocking deeper inside. Then he stood up and gripped me tighter, pulling nearly out of my body. My breath hitched and I braced myself, eager and excited, chewing on my lip in anticipation for the best moment of sex with him. I groaned and jumped as he thrust hard in me, stars floating behind my closed eye lids.

"Hold tighter, Daniel. Watch your head. You have to be quiet too. My manager is nearby I think."

I looked over at him with a smirk and flirty wink. "Don't do as damn good as usual then, jerk."

"Sorry, can't help that I'm an amazing fucker, wimp," he said smugly.

"I hate that I can't deny that because you know I would be lying," I grumbled, then I bundled up my shirt into my mouth and forced myself to be silent.

I closed my eyes tight and fought off groans as he went to town on me from then. I could see his reflection in the mirror. This gorgeous man was watching me through hooded black rimmed beautiful almond eyes, his dark, waved hair bouncing rhythmically, biting his pink, glossy lip to keep quiet as well.

Fuck fuck fuck, that's so good, I cried in my mind as my body built to the brink almost instantly. He reached around to pump me, kissing and sucking my neck as he moved slow and deep. I released the shirt to silently scream as my climax came close. It was so hard not to make a noise when you felt this incredible.

"Ong! Ong Seongwoo! Stop taking the dump of the century! I need a word with you! Right freaking now! Yah, Ong Seongwoo! I don't pay you take ten-minute shits! You get the hell out of there in one minute or you are fired from the next!"

The manager was banging and shaking the handle of the bathroom door.

We paused in fear.

"Shit, I gotta go out for a minute."

He pulled out and zipped up his pants. I stood up and leaned on the door with a look of frustration and disappointment. He wiped some sweat off my face and kissed me sweetly, holding my jaw and brushing me with his silky, alabaster thumb.

He whispered very close to my lips which I found incredibly arousing I almost pushed him to the wall and started making out, getting him fired, "I will be back very shortly, Hot Stuff. Wait for me. Look at the mirror and touch yourself. I'm going to be pissed if this guy goes away after all my hard work."

I groaned and glared at him as he gave my pulsing member a few pumps, then took off out the door. I waited, watching myself masturbate just slightly as he talked to the manager.

 I could hear it clearly. The manager was reminding him about how to make a few new beverages. Then he was back, all charming smiles, long legs, tall thin body and gorgeous chiseled face. Good fucking Lord, he was so beautiful and sexy it was unfair to the gods and every human being in existence.

"Your name...did he just say Seongwoo? Do you and your brother have the same name?" I thought out loud and frowned as I was reminded of it.

"Shh...later..." He hummed as he touched my lips with a finger and stepped close, smirking in that irritating, attractive way.

 He took my penis from me and kissed my lips sweetly. "Sorry we got interrupted, Hot Stuff. Thanks for staying warmed up for me. I’m so making it up to you. Let’s get back to where we left off, right away."

 Then, he forced me legs around his hips and took me hard against the wall in seconds. I was surprised again by his strength and force despite his lean, small frame. I hugged him and kissed him hard, thankful to have him back, turned on beyond belief, missing him terribly in more ways than one and most of which I didn’t want to admit to, moaning into his mouth as he took me higher and higher until I fell apart. It was the most magical, sinfully sensual feeling that anyone could get addicted to. Only Ong could make me feel this way and the idea that it was temporary and that I really probably shouldn't be doing it made it all the better. He catered to my rebelious side. 

"Come with me..." I begged against his mouth.

"I am baby. I so am..."

Ong thrust into me slow and deep, sucking and biting under my jaw and caressing my sweathy thighs. We came together and hugged and kissed random parts of our skin in that rare affectionate, sweet, gentle way we got right after we came only. He helped me down and wiped off the mess with bathroom tissue. We helped each other get dressed and then washed the sweat and saliva off our faces. Ong had a comb and he worked on my hair. His was strangely still perfect. No matter what we did, it usually just fell right back into place.

"That was great."

"Hmm, it was," I murmured, smiling lazily. I felt extremely happy, sated, and comfortable.

He paused in brushing to kiss me and stroked my jaw with his thumbs. "You didn't say you missed me too. I’m rather offended."

I mockingly smirked at him and brushed his waist under his black T-shirt. God, did he look so freaking fine in that. I almost begged him to let me take him this time.

"You are avoiding this whole name thing. If you tell me the truth, I will say what you want to hear then, hyung."

"Hmm, it's complicated."

"I doubt that this is physically possible, but are you guys the same person?"

Hyung laughed and shook his head. "No, we're not. I'm just borrowing my brother's name. I don't have one of my own."

I scrunched up my face as I looked at him in confusion. "How can you not have your own name?"

"Because I'm not human. And my brother is only half human now."

"Wait, what?" I laughed, then repeated it with a shriek when we had a long staring session and I realized that he was serious. "Wait, WHAT? You're not human? What are you then? An alien? A vampire? A clone? A time traveler?"

He put his hands up, signaling for me to calm down. He smiled in that sad lonely mysterious way.

"Just listen. Seongwoo got a hold of this magical artifact. I was born with that. If he finds someone that likes both of us and you just say it, the spell is broken. He will be a better person."

I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at him. "Let’s just say I believed that. What happens to you though? Does this have to do with your disappearing bit?"

Hyung shrugged, avoiding my eyes and forcing a carefree smile.

"I guess I will be fully human. We can keep on being brothers. I can make my own name. The first step is you gotta say out loud that you like me, then say it to him."

I watched him, doubting it somehow. I felt like he might disappear if I said it.

"I'm not going to say it. It's not true."

"Isn't it though? I will go first then. I like you a lot, Kang Daniel. Honestly. You're the first person to ever make me happy and snag my interest. You're the first person that I wanted to open up with and be myself with. It's not me you are meant to be with though. It's my brother, I think. So, after he's whole and my task is finished, I am willing to give you up and go on my own way. As things should be and always have been meant to be."

"Then you're going to leave? Just like that?"

"Maybe. I probably should. I will just have to see where the wind blows. Once my task is through helping Seongwoo become whole again."

I frowned and squeezed my arms together tighter around my chest, in defense. "Yeah, well. Sorry to say, but I don't like you. I only like Seongwoo. You're just....an attractive distraction that knows how to push all my horny buttons. You just look like him and you get to me."

"I'm perfect for you because we're alike. You haven't met someone like me who is like you but more wild and dangerous. You're more than just attracted. I've drawn you in. I've made you care. That's why you visit me and went to the club and stopped me with the professor. Just admit you like me."

"I don't like you."

 "You don't not like me though."

"No, I don't like you."

"So, you don't like me then?"

"No, I like you."

Ong smiled wide.

"Repeat that."

"I mean, I don't like you. Dammit!" I cursed and hit the wall.

"You admitted it. It's too late."

I sighed in relief after I made him turn around and check his skin. "You didn't disappear."

Ong smiled, that sad, secretive look back in his eyes. I knew there was something he wasn't telling me. It was so irritating how mysterious this guy was. He hardly let me know a couple of his millions of secrets.

"I'm not going to, don't worry. We were just talking about moving somewhere. I've got to get back to work. You should see my brother soon. He really wants to be whole. He wants to be a better person. You know how he has all those confidence issues? If you just say you like him now, magic will happen. He will be more like me and you. He will be even happier. And you guys can be together because I'll be out of the way. My task will have finished then because you sped it up. I'm going to give you up and not bother you if you just do that. Go get the man you like more and I'll see you around, Hot Stuff. If you’re looking for a good fuck, you know where to find me."

He kissed me on my forehead and then left after brushing my hair. The way he wiped his nose and had his head down as he stepped sluggishly away suggested he might have been crying but I dismissed that because it wasn't at all something I could imagine from him. Ong was a strong, sound, masculine person. He wouldn't cry about something.

 

 

When I went back out, I was thinking of talking to him some more but he was busy with customers and I was thinking that he probably wouldn't tell me anymore about their situation. I wasn't sure how much I believed of this but I did really want to see his brother and say I liked him.

 I was debating what to do and glancing Ong's way at my table when I got a message from Ong. It was his home address. He said that his brother would be home studying now. I glanced up at him. He smiled and pointed a finger to the door, mouthing that I go and tell Seongwoo right now how I felt.

 I packed up and messaged him, asking that he really wasn't going to disappear as soon as I did that because his brother needed him and to be honest I felt that I did too. At least I didn't want him out of our lives. The idea freaked me out. He sent me a message that he promised he would see me later, around sometime. Somehow I felt like it was a goodbye but I was hoping that was just my paranoia.

I waved to him and wished him a good night. Then, I went to the address on the phone. I was excited and jittery to see Seongwoo and tell him how I felt.

 

 

Seongwoo came to the door, looking sleepy and confused.

"Daniel? Why are you here?"

 I kissed him and then walked in, setting down my stuff.

"I heard some really weird things from your brother and I was hoping for some explanation. He said something about magic, him not being human, you being half human, that I needed to say I like you both for you to be happy and whole, and I found out you guys have the same name but you're not the same person clearly because he's still at the cafe now."

Seongwoo gasped and fell onto the couch. "Did you say it? That you liked him?"

"Well, not on purpose. He tricked me. He said nothing would happen but I had a weird feeling that something would."

"Oh, that's not good."

"Wait, why is it not good? He said that it was really good for you. You will be a wholer, happier person if I just say it to you. He said that's what you want and how things are supposed to go. That we are meant to be and if I just say it, then you will date me, he won’t bother us, and things will be less complicated for us. Is that not true?"

I knelt by him and pat his knees in concern, looking at his pretty conflicted face. He chewed on his lower lip and shook his head.

"It's true, except I wouldn't be necessarily happier. It's complicated and he hasn't told you the full story. I like you a lot and so does he, so it's important you know something about us before we get more involved. You might run away."

I pet his cheeks and sat up to kiss him sweetly.

"Me too, Seongwoo hyung. I would never, ever run away from you. Because you mean the world to me now. Because, honestly since the moment I met you it's been true and now it's even more so than ever, I like--"

Seongwoo jumped forward and kissed my lips to stop me from finishing my sentance out of the blue, surprising me.

Seongwoo whispered shakily against my lips in a pleading, weak tone. "Stop. Don't say it. You might be causing something that really makes you regret. I will tell you about our risky, complicated, supernatural situation from the beginning. First, I need you to call the cafe and check on my brother. If I'm awake, that means he's passed out. He might have hit his head on a counter or a table or something."

"What? He passes out? Why the hell is that? Do you guys have just one soul or something?" I hurried to my phone and searched the number of the café, my heart dropping and hands shaking as images of Ong hitting his head and blood and glass everywhere.

"Something like that. I will explain later. Just call and tell me Ong is okay!"

Seongwoo smacked my arm, biting his finger nails.

"Shit, shit, pick up!" I muttered as the phone rang and rang.

Luckily, another barista on duty told me Ong hadn't been injured and others had put him to rest in the break room. I said that he would be waking up soon but if he didn't in the next hour or so we would go get him because he was probably ill as Seongwoo instructed me to.

"Thank God..." Seongwoo sighed with relief and fidgeted with his glasses.

I tossed my phone on the couch and put my hands on my waist. Now that I was feeling released from the worry of Ong having his head bashed in and bleeding everywhere unattended, I could channel my energy into my confusion, irritation, and slight anger at being continuously left in the dark when I clearly shouldn't be considering the cards I had to play in their weird game.

"Please spill everything now. What’s this about magic and tasks? Just who are you Ong Seongwoo's? If you’re not twins but you look exactly the same, are you clones or holograms or what? And how do I play a part in helping your situation? And do please be honest what Ong means by disappearing? And if he's really got to go far away where we can't contact him, is there any way I can stop it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um....for once, I can't really think of what to say in my notes....I hope you like this chapter~ I know it's complicated with Daniel sort of 'dating' two guys, but when you think of them as half of one person and the fact that they have both said that this is what they wanted. To 'share' Daniel since they both like and need him. Well, then I think it's not quite as weird. I hope that you will look at their individual relationships not through the usual eyes with which you judge people in the world. Because this is an alternate universe and their situation is really special and complicated, so we might act the same way if we were in their shoes which is different than we can say we would act while looking in from the outside. I personally like the idea of both of these guys and find it hard to root for one. Their relationships with Daniel are unique, sweet, and funny in their own ways and then there's also the best friend/brother like relationship going on between Ong and Seongwoo to enjoy as well. Though it's rather obvious the one that has Daniel's heart more so, which is the guy that actually needs Daniel much more. There will be angst coming up around the corner as the revealing happens so watch out for that next week~ Hopefully I can get it up by the next weekend but no guarentees with my schedule and the one-shots I'm also working on. 
> 
> A comment would be much appreciated! If you can't think of something to say, an answer to these questions would be perfect~ Who are you rooting for? Do you have any idea where this story is going? How do you think Daniel will react once he knows everything? What would you do if you were put in their situation as one of these characters? 
> 
> It's a really good thing that Dan didn't fall for Ong's trick. We almost lost that obnoxious sexy cutie for good if Daniel had just said the word 'you' ~ I wonder if that made your heart race with fright a bit hehe. He's such a feisty, naughty little devilish fox~ As you can maybe see, I have a lot of tenderness for Ong ^^
> 
>  
> 
> See you soon, keep enjoying Wanna One's comeback, I love Light and Ong in Light is a GOD. He's gorgeous.
> 
>  
> 
> Please check out my other stories if you haven't read them!
> 
> Pawprints:https://archiveofourown.org/works/12821157/chapters/29270406  
> Yes Sir: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13539408/chapters/31062891  
> Couples One-Shots: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14249877/chapters/32861832  
> Puppy Love: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13608948/chapters/31243338
> 
> NEW STORY : Ongholics (love square twit au with ongnielminhwan): https://archiveofourown.org/works/14621049/chapters/33789708
> 
> Please please please check out esp my new ones and one shots~~ I would love to hear feedback on these but haven't gotten as much as I had hoped. If you like it please leave me a comment and recommend to your friends. 
> 
> <3 Raina


	12. I close my eyes and hope for...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel finally learns about the mysterious connection between Ong and Seongwoo. He takes it better than both expected.

I sat and listened to Seongwoo tell me a crazy tale that sounded like a fantasy novel retold over a campfire. It took an hour to tell in total. It was hardly believable but I found myself listening intently and sort of believing by the end of it. At least it explained why they talked about each other through me and why they were secretive and kept their names hidden. It explained why I was only allowed to see and contact one at night and the other at day as well.

To think that there were two Ong Seongwoo’s…

"Is he okay right now?" I asked about Ong who was passed out at the café still.

Seongwoo shrugged. "It depends on how you mean that question. His body is okay right now. He is in a state of deep slumber. Only I can wake him up by going to sleep. To others, he will appear unusually still and quiet. They may even assume he's dead if they look closely. He's almost like a robot with his power switched off. He doesn’t breathe or make a sound. As far as his mental condition, I really don't think so. I think he is torn up about a lot of things, for much longer than I have ever known. He loves me but he is envious of and in a way hates me for brining him about in the world. He wants me to be whole but he is scared of disappearing. We don't know what it means yet. Especially if it will be painting or not. He wants you to be with me but he also wants you to himself which he thinks is wrong of him to wish for. It took him a lot of courage to admit he likes you. He thinks he's doing it for my sake but I know differently. He really loves you. And part of him resents me and our situation terribly because he never can have what he really wants, a part of that is you. But mainly his own body, freedom, or unconditional love. It makes him all very lonely and confused. You have seen how unhinged he is. I fear it will be getting worse. I am worried that he will try to hurt himself again…"

 I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. This was such a mess and I needed some more time to think things through. However, there were certain things I knew that I needed to say to Seongwoo right now.

"This is really complicated. I care about him. But it's not exactly the same as how I feel for you. You are perfect for me. He is everything I shouldn't like on the other hand, the worst for me. He is chaos. He is danger. It's like playing with fire with him. I am curious and attracted but I know that's not what I want permanently in my life. Ong is the kind of person that cannot be owned or controlled. Not saying that's what I want to do with you, but it would be difficult to be with a guy like that. I don't think I could trust or be happy with him. Yet I do feel like a part of me likes him in the sense that I care about him. I worry about him. He just seems so sad, lonely, and on the edge. I get the feeling he needs me. And it's the first time I found someone similar to that wilder side in me. So I find it difficult to stay away. That makes me feel guilty. Because I... Because of how intensely I care for you. I know that you also really need me and I want to be there for you. I want to be with you every day for the rest of my life. To be honest, I'm not really comfortable with this sharing thing. I don't think you could possibly okay with it either. Knowing the man you like is with someone else and that you don't have my full heart, time, or attention? You must feel jealous and anxious, though you hide it extremely well. We shouldn't continue like that for much longer. It's not fair to you. Maybe in that case it is better if he disappears...it seems like that's where his fate has been. It’s what he’s decided on and what he wishes for."

Seongwoo wrung his hands together and shook his head, tears springing to his pretty eyes.

"No, stop. Please don't say that. I am not jealous or anxious per say. I envy what you have with him. He is the person I want to be, well just made to an extreme. I want to give you that. But I'm not confident that I ever can. I want you to have everything you need. That means you need both of us. We can share your heart just as we share one body and name. I don't want to lose him or hurt him either. He means the world to me, like real family and my best friend. I have taken so much from him. He has sacrificed a lot for me. I am responsible for him being depressed enough to commit suicide. With you here, I think he won't attempt it because he would end up hurting you or making you worry. I think he is also scared to lose you or hurt you. That's why you just can't say your feelings, not for a while longer. I think he needs more time here. I want you to give him a chance and really think about it. We both need you and I think that you can like both of us equally. We can make this work."

I shook my head and looked down at the floor, reaching out and squeezing his clenched hands.

"I don't know, Seongwoo. It really doesn't feel right to you. You're the one I think I care for the most. I hate to see you hurt or someone in the way of us. Won't it be difficult to explain our relationship? I'm going to want to brag about you but it will feel weird if I'm not exclusive."

"You are exclusive. To Ong Seongwoo, the combination. Just think of us as two halves. A night and a day version. He's black and I'm pink. You wear us at different times."

 I brushed his hair and chuckled. Then he looked cutely confused, so I pulled him in by the neck and gave him a sweet, chaste kiss. He turned pink like the sweater he was wearing.

"I know you didn't mean that to sound sexual but it did. Your talent for that is odd and amusing."

Seongwoo smiled shyly. "Oh, I have talents. Look at this."

I cracked up laughing as he showed me how he could move and fold his ears and bend back his thumb almost all the way to his palm both without using his hands. I clapped, telling him it was impressive. He grinned with pride and pushed up his glasses, looking at me with fondness in the most gentle, soft expression which melted my heart like crayons under a hair dryer.

"I am glad that you're not freaked out and running away. We were both worried how you would take it. Ong trusted that you would be cool but he wanted me to say it all for some reason. Though I have no confidence, especially with explaining anything not school related."

"You did a great job," I praised brushing his cheek."I understand what's going on now. Thanks for clearing things up. I only wish I could help to find a solution you both approve of."

"Right..." He sighed and pressed into my cheek.

I asked if I could hold him shyly. He nodded and slid bit by bit to my side. I apprehensively wrapped my arms around his shoulders and he leaned against my chest, tucking his head under my chin. I put my chin on top of his wavy, dark locks and rested my hands more firmly on his frail body. He felt snug and comfortable, warm and squishy. He had such a small frame that felt almost breakable. Quite different from his brother. Seongwoo didn't work out or dance, so he didn't have any muscles.

"Ong sounds like he tried to trick you. I'm so angry at him now I could just—" He grunted in frustration and hit my leg with his pale, sweater covered fist.

I chuckled, finding it adorable. It hadn't hurt a bit. "He's looking out for you. I guess we think alike. The best thing is for me to confess and you can go on with your life normally."

Seongwoo shook his head violently, tears popping up in his eyes. I reached down to wipe them and rub his back, shushing and cooing. I hated seeing him cry more than anything, even the massive summer bugs.

"But we don't know what will happen to him. What if he dies? What if he just disappears in thin air? What if he's in pain and sad? I can't live on with not knowing what is going to happen. I need to know he is okay with it after clearly learning the consequences. Right now, he is only thinking of me and not himself but I am only thinking of him. It puts him on a stand still. But I want you to be on my side on this, Daniel, please. After he's been there and covered for me and never asked a thing from me in return and even offered to give up the first person he felt close to, I want you to look out for him like I do. He deserves better than to die just to make my life more comfortable. He's like family and my closest friend in one. I'm not going to lose him if I can help it. Please don't let him trick you again. You have to be stronger and smarter than him."

"Okay, I won't. Why don't you calm down? You're shaking like a leaf."

I wiped away some more tears and rubbed his fragile body.

He sniffled and nodded. "I should sleep now. I will feel better if I know he's a wake. I will try to send him a message about what's happened so he can get here soon."

He asked me to lay in the bed to help him sleep and insisted that I stay there until Ong came home. He wanted me to have a sincere talk with Ong and get him to see our side so he would stop pulling tricks that would end up with something happening to him. I agreed but I was sort of anxious to talk to him.  It was going to be weird now, I was sure, knowing that he was some sort of magical half human.

I was a gentleman, laying with Seongwoo coddled to my chest, wrapped in a warm, white, fuzzy throw blanket. I nuzzled and pecked his pale forehead, humming a lullaby to him, brushing the back of his head. He took off his glasses when he slept it turned out. He buried his cute, sculpted  nose, his fists balled up, both against my chest.

After his breathing was even and his long-lashed eyes and groomed eyebrows stopped twitching, I pulled back to look at him. He looked like a beautiful angel mixed with an adorable young boy. He was innocent and soft and sweet. He had the prettiest face. I could look at him for hours.

He was laying on my arm so I didn't move that one but my other hand played with his chocolate colored locks that reminded me of coffee. One finger traced his squishy cheeks, sculpted nose, pointy, clefted chin, and pouty, parted pink lips. I leaned in and gently pecked him. Luckily, he didn't stir.

I kept petting and looking at him, my heart filling more intensely with love until it felt like it was going to explode each passing minute. I figured it must be because I had been planning to confess and I terribly wanted to but I was forbidden. I tried to console myself with the fact he likely knew how I felt already, but I thought it might just slip out of my lips without me thinking one of these days. That was just how intense I was feeling it currently. I loved Seongwoo.

I wasn't sure what I felt for Ong, on the other hand. It was something similar but not nearly as intense. Because I knew that I couldn't be with Ong, possibly. Not just because he was going to disappear. It was like he had always felt off limits to me, even after I started to think he wasn't the spawn of Satan with the world's worst personality.

He was all kinds of wrong for me. He was too similar. He would feed my terrible vices and we would wreak havoc together. I did eventually need to stop drinking and smoking and get back on track with my studies. This kind of life was a fun distraction I was just trying out. I didn't want to live like that permanently.

Staying with Ong would be like the romantic story of a crime duo turned couple. Bonnie and Clyde. We would end up alcoholics in jail or meet the wrong people and get murdered in the middle if an orgy. He wasn't controllable and I clearly had zero ability to resist him or really attempt to do put a lock on him.

The other thing was that Ong wasn't a one-spouse sort of person and I was. I couldn't possess him. The jealousy and insecurity that I wasn't enough for him would drive me crazy and we would fight. He would never be exclusive either and I needed that. And there was my dilemma. I liked him and I cared about him and I wanted to keep him in my life too for selfish reasons but I couldn't reason it.

It would be better for all of us if Ong was gone. I had thought that several times before. But then, I hadn't ever thought gone would mean that he would be possibly dead or floating between universes aimlessly either. The man I loved wanted Ong around and he felt that we needed each other, so he was refusing to do what we both thought was right.

I couldn't argue with him harshly either because I felt like I was asking him to commit murder. If I said I liked Seongwoo, I could possibly be murdering Ong, who was clearly not exactly a bad  person, even someone I sort of liked. He didn’t deserve to go that way.

It was an extremely messy situation I found myself entangled in. And I had walked willing into it. I probably should have stayed away when I was being pushed away or felt in danger but now it was too late. I was stuck between two guys, two halves of one person, and I was doomed whichever way I decided to fix the situation.

I fell into a restless sleep where I drifted in and out. Every time I woke up, I brushed my love's gorgeous face and kissed him, then hugged him close, feeling pity towards him and apologetic at my hopelessness to do much for him. It tore me up inside thinking of the confusion, fear, and conflict he had been living with all this time.

 

 

 Eventually, sometime in the night, the door opened. The sound and footsteps woke me up. I rolled over to see Ong in simple jeans and a black t-shirt. He wasn't dressed to go out tonight. His face was bare of makeup and looking surprised and anxious. His hair was styled off his face in its usual attractive professional like comma fashion.

"He's still asleep?" He whispered coming closer.

 I rolled to my back, Seongwoo snuggling into the crook of my arm and chest like a rabbit. I held my finger to my lips.

"He asked not to be woken. He wanted us to talk."

"Really? Well, he's pretty out but he’s not the heaviest of sleepers. If you move too much, it's dangerous though."

I was distracted by seeing them together for a moment. It was like seeing dopplegangers or clones. A complete doozy, sci-fi moment. Shit, this whole thing was real, wasn’t it?

Ong pulled the blanket up over Seongwoo and looked at him with a fatherly smile. Then, he sat down on the bed, brushing the top of Seongwoo's hair. My breath caught in my throat as my heart jumped when he looked at me with such sad, sweetness in his eyes.

It felt like I was seeing the real him for the first time. He left himself open and unguarded by his playful, cocky disguise. It reminded me if some moments here and there when we were together. Afterwards, he looked a mix of content, calm, and also so very heart-breakingly depressed.

"So, in the end, he stopped you, huh? I was hoping he wouldn't figure out my trick before it was too late. He's such a sharp kid. Too sharp for his own good. Things would be the easiest if you'd just done it my way. Now he's told you everything and put you in a tight spot. I'm sorry, Daniel. I didn't want you to find out at all. I knew you would be conflicted. You don't need to be though. It's simple. If you just say it to him once now, we're all free."

I found myself angry. I glared at him. "What do you mean free? You will be dead, I'm a murderer, and Seongwoo will be sad and lonely and guilty. When were you going to tell me exactly about the consequence of confessing, huh? You freaking egotistic, selfish, meddling jerk!"

He attempted a breezy smile and shrugged. I became more furious at how he was trying to brush this off. It was a big deal, him possibly dying, and I hated how he was so willing to throw his life away and make things bad for us. To think what would have happened to him if Seongwoo had let me finish, all without us knowing anything or having a chance to say goodbye. This man was incredibly infuriating I could just wring his beautiful neck.

"We don't know what's going to happen. Maybe it's painless. Maybe I'm reborn. Maybe I have paradise in heaven. A permanent club with gorgeous, drunk, down to fuck kind of people. I think positive always. That's a possibility. It's worth a shot. Why be scared of something that might not happen?"

I glared at him more intensely, hissing, "Dammit Ong! You are lucky he's here or I would be shouting at you hard core. I probably would have punched you."

"I told you the best way to shut me up, Hot Stuff," he whispered, leaning in close and pursing his lips.

I turned away and continued to wear a frown and glare. He brushed my hair and then pinched my nose, chuckling softly.

"You're such a cutie, Hot Stuff. It's always good to see you. You put a genuine smile on our faces. How about we share your shoulders too? Since we’re sharing everything else~"

 Before I could object, he was laying on my other side with his head on my chest and an arm and leg strewn casually around me. The both of them combined were heavy and hot. I grimaced and smacked his shoulder, complaining quietly. He slid up so he could kiss up my neck to my cheek and whispered in my ear, his hand going into my shirt to play with my belly button and happy trail.

"We can talk like this. He's not the heaviest of sleepers but whispering won't wake him up. Just stay still."

I sighed in defeat. "I'm not going to let you trick me like that again. I'm not going to tell him out loud how I feel. He knows it anyway."

"That's going to bother you, you know. At some point, you will feel like shouting it and the fact you can't say that will make you feel sick."

I grumbled sulkily, "I never said I was okay with it. I'm terrified it might slip out during one of those moments he's doing something irresistibly cute, you know. I'm just worried about you. We both are. Despite you won’t freaking let us because you’re a selfish jerk who’s always playing jokes."

Ong chuckled and nibbled my ear. I shivered and pinched his arm, warning him to knock it off. I knew he wasn't going to listen to me though. If he did, I supposed it would be the end of the world and I should guess that he was sick.

"Why? Your life will be easier when I'm not around. And you hate me, as I recall..." he teased, drawing circles close to my boxers.

"I don't hate you exactly. I was lying earlier and you know that. I just..." I hissed as his hand slid into my pants and touched my penis in my boxers, his lips taking my ear lobe and sucking sensually.

"I just get really irritated with you. Of course I don't want something bad to happen to you. Even the idea is troublesome. I don't want to become a murderer. I also think Seongwoo would have a hard time without you. He's attached."

"He will forget me eventually. So will you. Like people all do. I'm just a shadow that was meant to fade away when the darkness comes. He has you now. He thinks he needs me still but he won't. You're the very thing that he's been needing. If only you had come into his life a few years ago. Then I wouldn't even be around because I would have never been needed. That would be nice. Not existing…"

"Why do you not want to exist?" I huffed and rocked into his hand as palmed my cock firmly and licked and grazed my sensitive skin.

I was trying to focus hard on what he was saying despite he was trying to distract me with his usual effective methods.

"Hmm, it's hard to explain to a human with their own identity and life. I guess I'm tired of the pain and loneliness and conflict that comes from being a shadow without my own name or future. I have to live in the now and borrow another's name, pretending to be a twin brother. There's no point in me dreaming or working to achieve a goal or even making money. Seongwoo has issues, sure, but he has his own name, character, goals, and dreams. He calls the shots and he's going to have an amazing future that he can choose and change at will, no matter if he has friends or not. For me though, I can't have any of that but I want it. Maybe because I'm deprived. All I'm left with is shallowness and pain and fear and loneliness. Even when I numb my mind with alcohol and surround myself with people, deep down I feel alone and afraid and sorry for myself. I can never shake those monsters that eat away at me. I smile, laugh, and dance to cover it up because that's just the personality that was forced on my through Seongwoo's imagination. But I don't want to. Sometimes when I'm with you, for the first time I feel like I'm able to express that darker, sadder side of myself. For a few moments. Maybe that's what's made me like you. It seems like you can reach deep into my soul and pull it out of me, despite my resistance."

I was speechless the whole time. I hadn't expected Ong to open up so widely to me all of a sudden. "Exactly how bad has it been for you, this pain? These…dark monsters?"

He took a deep breath and let it out, closing his eyes and laying on my shoulder.

"Enough that I wanted to stop even my half existence. Even right before you appeared in our lives, I was planning it. My next suicide attempt. I decided that I couldn't bear this pain anymore just to be Seongwoo's cheerleader. The idea that my soul might be reborn or something where I would have a chance at a real existence and full freedom was tempting compared to my half existence with no freedom or future. I was made from Seongwoo's desire to be free with all his ambitions and urges and curious thoughts, yet that was the very thing that slowly destroyed me. Feeling trapped and feeling not okay with that and desperate to change my situation. I held back as long as I could because he loves and needs me and I was scared how he would react. I'm glad you came at just the right time."

My brain was cloudy as my body was on fire. He had his hand in my boxers now pumping me.

"That's pretty serious. If I hadn't come into your life, then you would have hurt yourself..." I softly gasped.

"It probably wouldn't have been painful. I'm not human. I hardly feel pain even if you were to cut me. But yes, you did give me a reason to keep on going."

My breath hitched and I bit my lip hard as my orgasm built. I glanced over at Seongwoo.  He was smiling, sleeping peacefully on my shoulder, looking like a sweet kitten. God this was the most inappropriate thing I had ever done, letting Ong pleasure me in the same bed as his brother who I considered the love of my life. I felt like a sewer rat.

"I like you, Niel. Thank you, actually, for not falling for my trick. Here I was feeling sad that I probably wasn't going to see you again. I was regretting it for a moment," he whispered, then latched onto my earlobe, biting and sucking hard, his hand sliding over just the upper half, incredibly quick.

I moaned and closed my eyes, lifting my hips as it built. He brought my face to his and consumed my moans in a hot kiss, muffling the pleasure sounds expertly as I came in my boxers. He lifted his hand and licked my cum, then returned to kissing me. Tasting him along with my salty, bitter sperm was intoxicating and hot.

We made out for a few more minutes, then he laid on my shoulder, acting oddly sweet, hugging me tight like a doll. He nuzzled my shirted peck and kissed me there over my heart. Feeling oddly affectionate for him, especially after hearing about his pain and conflicting thoughts, I reached up and pet his head for the first time. He even seemed surprised by the affectionate gesture.

I simply smiled down at him. He smiled softly, rather shyly back in a way that reminded me of his brother which did funny things to my heart. Why are you guys starting to blend and confusing me?

"Were you serious about that? Liking me?"

He shrugged and hid a mysterious smile against my shirt. "Who’s to say? I think so, but I have never felt that way before. It could be I like you because he liked you so much it transfers over to me. Sometimes I don't believe my own feelings. None of them could be real, just like none of myself or my decisions really are."

I paused for a long time before I asked slow and seriously, "If you like me, then how can you think of going away?"

Ong’s smile dropped. He stared into my eyes with a melancholy expression. He seemed to be collecting his thoughts and organizing a speech, so it took him a while to answer. I waited patiently, thinking it was going to be something I needed to hear.

"I guess I'm a very good, selfless person deep down. I keep thinking that there's no way we can all be happy and that he deserves to be happy more than me. You wouldn't be happy with me either. I will just cause you headaches. I'm a free spirit. Even though I like you, I won't be attached. You can't have me the way you can have him and that would tear you up. I’m exactly the opposite of what you need in your life so that is why I can’t demand to be a part of it. You know exactly what I’m saying, right?"

I nodded with a sad smile. "I do know this very well. I've known from the beginning. As hot and tempting as you are, I know that we're not good for each other, Ong. I’m sorry to say that. We're too similar and I need someone that's the opposite. That's why I'm pursuing and feeling more for your brother. Thanks for your feelings, but I’m sorry that I can’t be with with you…"

"And that's the way it should be. No hard feelings. I'm not at all the jealous type. I prefer you two together. I am just using you anyway, like I use everyone who’s not Seongwoo. I enjoy our fights and hot sessions. We're like fire and lava together."

"That's true. We do have great chemistry. But somehow it's too much passion. It can be tiring."

"Hmm, really? For you, maybe. It's what I live for. Passion keeps me energized and excited."

I realized this was the longest we had ever talked without teasing, arguing, or making out. It was an odd sensation. I had no idea that we could talk normally.

"What am I supposed to do, Ong? I can't have both of you in my life but that's what he wants. I can't send you away because a part of me cares despite myself."

I brushed his hair and pressed my nose to his forehead. They both had the same enticing smell and I realized it was all over this house, sort of a musky vanilla tint. He squeezed his fingers into my side and sighed.

"Welcome to my everyday dilemma. That's how I feel about you and my brother. I really hate my life. It would be better over."

I nibbled on his cheek and scolded lightly, "Don't say that. You have me now. You have another reason to keep living. You must not have hated it as much."

"Hmm, not quite as much. Not for an hour or so every other day when you swing by. But I keep having this itch to do the right thing and something in my mind tells me I've done my part and overstayed my welcome. I think my time has come. You should ignore what he thinks he wants and do what's best. You should let me go and send me away. You like him more anyway. That's what your body says."

I looked over at the other boy and kissed and nuzzled his forehead. Just the simple contact filled my heart with joy and warmth. When I looked over at the other Ong Seongwoo, my heart filled partially and yet also tinged painfully. It was like I was feeling tugged hard to him because of his miserable situation and how nice he actually was but it didn’t feel right or natural.

I sighed deeply. "When you're suddenly seeming like a good person, I start feeling confused on who I like more. The margin lessens for sure. What are you doing to me? You make me feel like the biggest two timer. It's such a nasty feeling."

Ong looked up at me with amusement and fondness. I felt my heart tinge a bit more. "It's just our pretty face. If I didn't look this way, you wouldn't feel the same. You're just conflicted. As much as a part of me hated it, my personality stinks and you definitely are into him more. I get it. He's the more lovable one. I'm just fuckable."

I chuckled and kissed his forehead. "Indeed you are. We had some great times. Whatever happens, I won't fully regret that. Since I had permission."

"Hmm, we really did. You are kinkier and a lot less vanilla than I gave you credit for. I wonder if my brother can fully handle you once I'm gone."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Why do you keep talking like that? I thought we've all agreed you're not going anywhere. We're going to find another solution and just deal with this awkward situation. You make it sound like you're going to run away tomorrow."

He chuckled. "You are quite sharp. Not the cute, sweet, puppy-like idiot we both thought you were. That's exactly what I have planned. If you're not going to release me, I'm going to run away and figure out how to release myself from this fake body."

My whole body went chill and tears stung my eyes. I gripped him tight and put my head on his. We were silent for awhile, the room suddenly emotionally charged, both of us emo and angsty.

"Please don't...Ong, I don’t want you to…"

"I need to go. I can feel it with every fiber of this fake body. Please let me go, Daniel..."

I pouted and whined with natural aegyo. "I don't want to. Now that you're trying to run away from me, I realized how selfish I actually am. I want you both. Can’t I just keep two seals?"

He laughed, a rather bitter sound. "Who would have thought you two were the selfish ones and I was the selfless one? It's what I honestly want, Daniel. If you don't send me off and be happy with my brother when he's a whole person, then I will end up finishing what I started. I can't take this life anymore. You're a pleasant distraction but even you can't keep me protected from this depression monster much longer. I would rather go with you two sending me off with love than having me ripped out of your life with hatred and blame. Wouldn’t you? Let me go consensually, send me off with a smile, pray for me to be reborn a happy, lucky, real person with no more pain, doubt, and loneliness. That's all I want."

I was quiet for the longest time. He had his eyes closed, slightly crying. I knew he wasn’t asleep because the other boy hadn't woken up yet, which he should have instantly according to their story. The silence dragged on and on as I contemplated all he said and grappled with my complicated feelings.

I hated the idea of living without him but the idea that he would run away and kill himself terrified the living shit me. I wanted to save him and my love from that devastating fate. Seongwoo would have an even more impossible time recovering from that than if he had sent away his brother because that was what he wanted.

First and foremost, their feelings and well being were important to me. I couldn't cling to Ong if that was neither what he wanted nor what was best for Seongwoo. I sighed deeply as I continued to run my fingers through the backs of both their fine, short, silky hair and look between them.

"Fine, Ong. You really don't leave me any choice when you give that sort of cruel ultimatum. We will do things your way. Just give me some time to convince Seongwoo and prepare myself. You're a lot more lovable than you think. It's going to be hard on me..."

"I knew you didn't hate me. I didn't trick you into admitting it this time."

 "Yeah, you're right. I guess I sort of just realized it when I thought of you seriously being gone. I was denying it but I must actually like you..."

"Just a bit. One millimeter of how you feel for Seongwoo," he replied rather soft and bitter.

 I smiled, finding it cute. Ong being sulky and jealous was something new. "It's more than a bit. Likely to grow as we get closer to parting. I'm going to visit you more frequently, okay? Not just the cafe or the club. Let's have a real date."

 "Really? I never dreamed..."

His eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas morning. I realized then that this sweetheart who lived and worked at night and hid himself from getting close and personal with anyone had existed for years never having a date. I was going to rectify it. He should know what a semblance of a real relationship was at least before he disappeared to wherever he was going. Since he was a person who liked me, I at least could give him that. As thanks for caring for me.

Seongwoo didn't need to know things. Though if he knew of everything that was going on, he probably wouldn't have a problem. It was temporary, after all. I was going to try my hand at serious two-timing just this once and not allow myself to feel dirty or guilty because of it. He deserved to feel a little honest loving for once. Before I spent the rest of my life giving it solely to Seongwoo.

 "Ong, why don't you be my second boyfriend for a while?"

I was shocked to see Ong actually blush. Hell must be freezing over somewhere. "I wouldn't mind since I've never had one, but how would that work?"

"I will figure it out. You don't worry about it. What sort of dates have you wanted to try out? Let me know all the places you wanted to go only couples can go or things you wanted to try."

 

 

We talked for the next hour or so about what he wanted to try with another person before he left the world. I got excited the more we talked about it. I also felt more irked by some things.

"Do you think it's possible that rather than just disappearing or being reborn, you just existed in Seongwoo's body? Like you can switch at will or that Seongwoo has two personalities?"

He smiled softly as he looked over at the sleeping twin and pet his arm. "That would be ideal, wouldn't it? We wouldn't have to separate, you would have both of us, he would be whole and I would have my own identity too. That would be absolutely perfect."

"Let's pray for that rather than thinking of the worst case scenario then, hmm? The best thing in stressful, unsure times we can do, is focus more on the positive outcome."

 "Sounds like a Seongwoo-ism. You guys are starting to look alike. Here you were more like me." He chuckled, brushing the angelic sleeping boy's hair now.

"You think? My personality is weird I guess. Maybe I have two people in me. Maybe I have already been through this situation and don't recall it."

"Oh, really?" He jokingly knocked on my head. "Hello in there, other Daniel~ why don't you two split up now so I can have all the fun I want, no need for sharing?"

We both laughed after I pretended to be someone else a lot more like him. Then we snuggled again, feeling content and more at ease.

"That would be pretty cool."

"Yeah, I guess it would. Your situation is actually pretty cool when you think about it. Lots of people would want to be in your place. Being able to study, work and party. You guys can get anything done you want. You could even be famous and get a degree."

"Oh, I tried that. I was doing modeling for a while. I stopped because I attracted too many crazy fans. That would have been hard on Seongwoo and put us at risk."

 "Oh, really? You have any photos?"

"Sure, they're in my phone."

“Can I see them?” I asked hopefully.

He narrowed his dark, warm eyes and shook a finger in front of my nose. “Only if you promise not to tease me. Some are really just weird because it was with an online shopping mall and they really didn’t understand trends. They asked me to do some old-fashioned, or just plain odd poses.”

“Hmm, I can’t promise because I laugh easily but I will try to hold back. Biting my lip already.”

He leaned in close to me, humming and staring at my mouth. “Don’t bite too hard. I will want to kiss you senseless, Hot Stuff.”

I leaned in closer as well, licking my lips and then leaving them parted in invitation. “Maybe I will allow it, jerk…”

We got distracted by making out for a while after we flirted. Then, we spent the next hour until I fell asleep looking at the photos and laughing about his ridiculous stories. He stayed up I think lying in my arm so as not to wake Seongwoo up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I just noticed that there wasn't many people seeming to read this story so I sort of lost my inspiration to update more. It is all on AFF as well so I figure maybe many of you went and just read to the very end there. For those that really only want to read here and have been waiting, here you go finally. Sorry for the delay~ If you want me to quickly update every week until the end then I implore you to leave a comment even if it's a short one~
> 
> Now the cat is out of the bag. You don't know exactly how this story is going to end but you know what position they are all for. Daniel's on the fence, Seongwoo wants Ong to stay with them, Ong wants to leave and take a shot at a better life than the one he's got and wants to get out of the way of Seongwoo and Daniel's happiness. I know that this chapter is heavy and depressing and complicated. Daniel's and Ong's thoughts are really messy and hard to grasp and deep. I hope that you can sort of understand everyone's POV. Ong is going through a lot more than we can possibly imagine. I thought about more specifically showing in his POV the daily torture he goes through that makes him want to hurt himself but I decided to let you imagine it instead as it could be a trigger for someone if I were to delve into depression and, considering some people I loved dearly committed suicide because of depression, I would rather not delve into the heart of it. Or I might just make you bummed out for weeks.
> 
> Hopefully, you found some sweet, fluffy, or comical moment in here to enjoy. Because, as you can see, Daniel had really come to like and care for both and he's such perfect boyfriend material. The next chapter will be very sweet and funny in the beginning followed by soul crushing angst(be ready with tissues and I'm sorry in advance for deciding to do this to my characters from the very beginning). We are just a couple of chapters away from the end of this story(will be happy, sort of) now. I would really appreciate it if you left a comment! See you guys in a week or two~ If you are bored, I have lots of other completed and ongoing stories and one shots for you to check out with Ongniel and other couples as well ^^
> 
>  
> 
> <3 Raina


	13. A part of me hopes for tails but...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel goes on dates with Ong, both of them trying not to think of their oncoming seperation. Warnings of angst.

Ong was waiting for me in front of the cafe, his shift just finishing up. Today I hadn't gone to visit there with the test now behind me thank god, which I felt like I had actually aced. Ong had requested to take an early leave as I had told him I hoped he would get. We were going on a date today but it was kept secret from him. Well, sort of.

He had told me the sort of things he had wanted to do and it was my job to plan a list of when and surprise him with the activities, time, and place. We had done a movie, a couple of restaurants including a famous ramen place surprisingly frequented with couples, and a picnic near Hangang while watching the bridge light show and sipping beer.

 Today we were going to a festival only around for a week this season. This sort of place he said he had gone with friends but he felt like there were things only couples or pairs could do and the atmosphere seemed different for them. It turned out Ong had secretly been envious of couples and wished that he could someday be a part of one, even if he knew he wouldn't be a good boyfriend.

Since he knew that he could disappear someday and that he wasn't boyfriend material, he had avoided dating anyone that asked or showed interest. Ong actually had a big heart and caring, sacrificial side-- he didn't want to hurt anyone, so he didn't let people get close and care for him. He didn't have confidence that he could care for someone more than himself as well, not enough to do a good job dating them. That was, until I appeared.

He had attempted to refuse to get close to me as well when he realized the extent of his feelings were deeper than the usual guys or girls he just fooled around with. Seongwoo had put his foot down at letting Ong run away from any serious relationship this time or making his loneliness worse. I was rather thankful Seongwoo had, even though it put us all in a rather complicated situation and often jabbed my stomach with tinges of guilt.

 When I thought of the bigger picture, I didn't really think much of that anymore or at least it didn't really bother me. I pitied Ong as he was the loneliest, most depressed and conflicted person I had ever met. I couldn't even begin to fathom the darkness he was battling with every day. I tried my best though to understand and relate to it. Because I wanted to help ease those feelings the rest of the time he was on our planet's surface.

 I wanted to make the perpetually unhappy person, who harbored feelings for me I also felt like he was downplaying for the sake of us feeling bad or pitiful, genuinely happy, even it was a short time. He deserved to be happy, just like Seongwoo thought. However, I was not willing to give up on a relationship with Seongwoo like Seongwoo was, because I knew that Seongwoo needed me more than Ong and he would definitely not be okay without me. Whereas Ong, who was a lone wolf, would be because he was strong and used to faring on his own.

 As much of a jerk as it made me feel to admit that. Forced to choose a million times, it would always be Seongwoo who was a smidgen more important and precious to me than Ong. Knowing that I knew and Ong knew that and guessing it probably hurt him though he never showed us that, rather always smiling and joking, made me want to treat him well when we were together for these temporary play dates. We could never be in a relationship in this life but I could at least give him a very realistic simulation like we were in a dating VR game. That would wipe away some of his pain away during this time and give him a distraction from his coming disappearance I was sure was constantly at the back of his mind like a hungry dog.

"Hey. You look tired. Did you get yelled at again? Whoever bothers my Ong is going to get a punch in the face. Let me at him."

Ong gracefully smoothed back his long, dark hair so the style completely showed his pretty forehead and smiled crookedly, dimples showing up above his kitten like, thin, periwinkle lips. He chuckled and pretended to be my spotter as I boxed into his hands like a professional fighter.

 "Slow down before you hurt yourself, Hot Stuff. These sexy hands are for love making, not bullying."

I blushed and beamed at him before taking him into my arms for a gentle embrace. He hummed in surprise and pet the back of my hair, resting his chin on my shoulder for a second. “What’s this for?”

"No reason. Just nice to see you're still here..."

"Why wouldn't I be?" He chuckled, the slight sad tint to his voice suggesting he was hiding his thoughts from me again.

 He knew exactly what I had meant, the infuriating, handsome jerk. This morning I had been making out with Seongwoo at my dorm since he had visited with breakfast and I was half asleep super stoked to see him. The words ‘I like you’ slipped over halfway out without thinking. We had been terrified that it was too close for comfort and that Ong would be half gone such as transparent or missing something. Seongwoo had reassured me when he got home before he went to sleep that Ong had seemed just fine while he was sleeping on the bed but I felt like I really needed to see it for myself.

 I stepped back and made him slowly spin around, looking his all black clad, thin, graceful body up and down diligently. I felt immensely relieved that he was in one piece and still solid. I pulled him into another crushing hug before I could control myself. Ong tapped my back and laughed softly, complaining how he couldn't breath and I was going to make him lose all the little mass he had. I buried my face in his neck and squeezed tighter, kissing him as tears stung the back of my lids.

I just got a taste today of what it would feel like to lose him and I didn't like it at all. It hurt a lot more than I had expected. It was much more terrifying as well. I needed a moment in his arms to process my feelings and that what I feared had happened wasn't real.

“Sorry, I will be more careful…” I sincerely promised in a whisper.

 "What's wrong with you today, you weirdo?" Ong teased, softly laughing.

"I hope we can find some way you don't have to go..."

 Ong tensed and his hands paused, staying like that for several silent moments. Then his voice was choked with emotion when he replied, "Why did you go and say something so depressing, Hot Stuff? I want to just live in the moment, like I always have. I hate thinking of how I don't have a future possibly. It's just...yucky."

 I rolled my eyes and sniffled, finding the way he described his pain childish and slightly amusing in a frustrating way. Yet it was so classic ‘Ong’. I pulled back and smiled the best I could despite how sad and anxious I was feeling and grabbed hold of his hand, squeezing firmly in the only way I could give him comfort and strength. He smiled brightly at me in his defensive, carefree way, his pretty, deepset, dark eyes scrunching up, his crooked teeth quite adorable.

 I honestly liked Ong's smile. Even it was extra bright and heart-warming as a useful mask to cover up his pain, loneliness, and worries and shut even those that cared about him out. It was a sort of smile that really got to you and stuck in your memory.

"I am fine, really. Don't go getting all gloomy on me. That's not us. Ongniel needs to do what we do best, smile, joke, and wreak havoc on the unsuspecting world while being so freakin’ lovable no one will dare to arrest us. Let's go have some fun, Hot Stuff."

I chuckled and nodded, my smile turning genuine. I did really have a good time with him and he knew just what to say to get me out of any funk I was in. Ong was a real charmer. I would miss him more than I had thought I would, according to how I had just reacted. I decided not to think about it, and live in the moment, as he was.

 

 

We swung our linked hands and glanced over at each other and softly smiled or chuckled as we walked down the dark practically empty street. At one point, Ong pointed out the red lantern lights hanging from trees leading to the festival, his face bright and youthfully astounded. I chuckled to myself as I watched him gazing up at the lanterns with wonder like they were the prettiest things in the world. He is possibly more so, I thought with affection.

"Yah, never mess with a dude's do, man!" He whined and glared at me as he ducked away from my hand.

 I brought my hand close to my face and stared at it with wonder. Ong took out a mirror and comb from his pocket, quickly righting his updo back to perfection. Huh, I can’t believe I just did that out of nowhere…

 Tussling Ong's hair was something I had never done even once before. It was something that had only been an urge with Seongwoo who was more adorable and fun to tease since his hair was all floppy and messy, reminding me of a puppy. I had found Ong really cute and wanted to tease and affectionately touch him just then, so I had followed my impulses without even thinking.

That made me wonder, were these two getting blended up in my mind? Or was it that they weren't as different as I thought? Which meant my feelings for them were not as separate as I had thought either.

 Seongwoo had moments these days where he seemed mischievous and he had proven most definitely that he had a sexy, naughty streak. Ong was now proving he could feel shy, act sweet, care for me, and be vulnerable and emotional, on top of that he could also be childishly cute too. Their personalities were somehow coming together and overlapping as if they were taking the best parts of the others character and finding a way to make it harmonize with their original characters. They were both becoming more rounded out, wholesome people, not so much day and night as they had appeared the first week or two I had met them.

I wondered if it was my imagination, and if it was true, was it intentional or a part of the curse slowly being lifting with me spending time and coming to accept and like both of them. Maybe I didn't need to say that I liked them. Maybe the universe just knew and was gradually combining them together. Would my confession be the final push then? Could I do it if Ong asked me? Even when I was getting attached dangerously more and more every moment we spent together intimately? Even when I knew Seongwoo didn't really want Ong to ever disappear from his side and I honestly was coming to seriously be scared of the idea as well?

 Then again, what Ong would do if we backed out of the agreement was a problem. Me not ever being able to express my feelings out loud to Seongwoo was a grave concern as well. Not to mention we had a complicated triangle relationship none of us would be satisfied with keeping forever. Something eventually needed to be changed otherwise Ong was likely to bolt into the unknown world and hurt himself to escape the pain. Since, unfortunately, after all, I was a pleasant distraction, not a permanent cure for his personal dark monsters always clawing their way at his heart, mind, and soul.

I winced as Ong flicked me sharply on the forehead. "What are you frowning about, concentrating so hard for which totally doesn’t suit you? Is it that hard to think of what snack foods to try? Just eat them all. I’ll help. I gave up on dieting anyway. Since there's not much point anymore to a ghost..." he said sarcastically and laughed.

 I glared at him and swatted his arm. I honestly hated how he joked so easily about his own death or his suicidal thoughts sometimes. It was a serious matter that made me sad but he even treated that and my feelings like a joke. Ong instantly sobered once he saw my expression clearly. He reached up and held my jaw, wiping at a tear that was beading in the corner of my eye, then gently brushed my cheek though it was dry.

 "Sorry, it's just my nature. I am designed to appear happy go lucky and carefree, even if I'm not feeling that way. I'm built with a defense mechanism, my jokes, and I can't really control it. I understand how you feel, really. I know it's not a laughing matter and I'm not just brushing it off. But please, I wish that you would just live in the moment and not think of later so that I can make happy memories. Our time may be limited and I think it sucks too that things can't be another way and that I have this complicated, frustrating personality, but we can make the best of our time together. Try not to hate me so much for forcing you guys to let me go with an unthinkable ultimatum. I know I am a huge jerk, but you both like me anyway despite that. So, please, you can accept it and enjoy time with me while I'm still here. No more tears now or even mention of dark, sad things. I forbid it. Let's go have fun, puppy."

 Ong then pinched my nose and pulled me by it towards the festival entrance. I followed him, whining about the pain. At the entrance to the festival area, there was an arch of tiny white flowers weaved together. Ong wrapped his arm around my shoulders and stuck his face close so we could take a selfie together in front of it. He jokingly licked my cheek in the middle of a picture, which ended up looking comical since I had the most disgusted, scrunched face.

After that, we wandered around aimlessly. Ong was surprisingly treating me like a boyfriend today, almost as if he had gotten tips from Seongwoo and thrown away his manly pride and dominant side. He was acting clingy, pulling me by the arm as he excitedly explored every booth, resting his head on my shoulder, and saying things like, "Niel look at that! Isn't that cute? I want that. Buy it for me. Please~" and then when I bought him a seal doll he really wanted for some reason after I said it sort of looked like Seongwoo he was going, "Juseyo~" He took and tucked it under his arm, petting its white, round head and smiling softly like it was his evil underling. I had a picture of  an evil princely black cape wearing Ong smirking on top of a mountain of army seals dressed in black leather jackets and a black bag with a triangle constellation mark sewed in with white thread.

"Niel~"

 I jerked as he pulled my arm back and gasped. He was jumping up and down excitedly, pointing at something. I sighed and groaned. This new version of Ong was amusing but exhausting. He was like Seongwoo but sort of on crack and he had way more energy and volume, too much for me to deal with on no sleep since I had pulled an all-nighter to study for my test the previous night.

"What now?"

"I want to go on that! Can we? Please, can we?"

 I raised my eyebrows and stared at the carasaul before bursting out laughing. "Just how old are you? You have such weird tastes! I am seeing a whole new side of you and starting to doubt my feelings. You must be an alien or possessed. Right? Where is the charming, cool, chic, super sexy, obnoxious, mature Ong I know of?" I teased, tickling his thin sides.

 He wiggled and did a little dance, suddenly waving his arms. "A A A~"

 I busted out laughing, clapping my hands and keeling over nearly. "What in the heck was that? You practicing the alphabet and just forgot that B and C follows A?" I gasped, choking on my own chortles.

Ong smiled sheepishly with a self-satisfied, mischievous smirk, simply replying with a 'hee hee hee'.

 "Aw, I admit it, you're cute. But can you just be you now? It's almost creepy. You're making me feel confused who I am with."

Ong ran over to a booth and tried on a pair of glasses. "I look like Seongwoo now, right?"

He pulled down his sleeves over his hands and bit his lip with a hunched over motion, his eyes going shifty and wide. I fell on the floor, luckily on top of a patch of grass, laughing my butt off so noisily that people were staring at us with concern or annoyance or amusement.

"Oh god. You. Look. Just. Like. Him. Your imitation is. Freaking funny. You're talented."

 Eventually, he put the glasses back on the display table and stopped acting cute, turning back into himself with the cool, laid-back pose and cocky smirk. He stood above me with his hands chicly in his pockets like he was posing for a magazine shoot. I was relieved he wasn't acting different anymore but it took several minutes for me to gain back my sanity and stand up.

"Please Ong, no more. I think I split something inside," I groaned and huffed as I rubbed my side and winced, now standing up with Ong's help.

 "I won't, for now. I just wanted to try being your type for once. You like cute, clingy guys that talk in baby voices and act like they’re toddlers, right?"

I rolled my eyes and punched him in the arm light enough not to leave a bruise but harder than I would ever do to my sweet baby Seongwoo. "Stop teasing me. That type happens to be very irresistible and half the guys in Korea at least go for that. It’s not something for me to feel ashamed of."

"And the other half of the world go for sexy, cool, witty guys like me. And I am proud to say that I've probably fucked a good quarter of them. At least I have accomplished something."

 I shook my head and gave him a playful, exasperated look. He had such a foul mouth sometimes. I had half a mind to punish it and clean it up with my tongue. Ong smirked sensually and huffed in the cockiest manner. He put his hand on my hip and leaned in to press up against my ear. His smooth skin, intoxicating scent, and warmth made me shiver and heat up all over.

"I can read you like an open book. After we ride that, we can find a dark area in the wooded section to make out, or more. Stop giving me those bedroom eyes, Hot Stuff, or I will kiss you hard right here."

"You really wanted to ride that? I thought it was all just part of the act."

Ong shrugged and tilted his head, looking naturally cute again which I preferred to the earlier, complete french fry level of greasy image earlier.

He smiled brightly, looking strangely innocent and pure, and nodded. "I do. So what? You're the jelly addict who has a fetish for aegyo-crazed nerds. You've got nothing to brag about, Kang Choding."

 He pretended to shoot an arrow heart at me. I grabbed my chest and groaned in pain. "Ouch, such a razor like tongue."

 "So don't tease me anymore about being childish and let's go before I rip you a new asshole. Figuratively and literally. You haven’t seen me get rough."

He took my hand and let myself get dragged to the colorful carousel full of galloping plastic horses. Ong paid and then we climbed on the ride, wandering around until he found the horses he wanted. He took a rather wild, sleek, black one and told me to get on this sturdy, gentle looking, white one. I climbed on it rather awkwardly, gripping tight with my thighs and hands as I was scared to fall off the back with the horse slanted upwards in a rearing position.

 Ong reached over and held my back. "I got you."

I blushed and avoided looking at him, biting my lip to fight a shy smile. I liked when Ong suddenly acted manly like the perfect boyfriend, leading and caring for me. In every single relationship, I had been the one more like that, so it was weird to be on the receiving end but not in an unpleasant way at all. Sometimes he made me feel cherished and protected, which I found I liked despite it being completely new.

The ride started moving and rolled us up and down at a slow pace to carnival music, lights flashing rainbow colors all around us. We were the only adults on the ride not accompanied by kids. I was quite embarrassed, especially as there were kids laughing. Until I looked at Ong's face. He was beaming, giggling, and whooping like this was the most exciting ride he had ever been on in his life.

I rested my head on the pole and smiled softly as I watched him. He looked over at me and waved, looking naturally cute and youthful again in that way that gripped and squeezed at my heart in a dangerous way. I grabbed his hand and held it on my thigh the rest of the ride. I didn't look anywhere but at Ong. Whereas Ong was looking all over with delight.

The thought occurred to me that if I could give this poor guy everything he ever wanted in the world in the time we had left so that I could keep seeing his pure, sweet, free expression like that finally void of any negative, complicated emotions, then I most certainly would. I almost felt like I would be able to kill someone to ensure he kept genuinely smiling and laughing brightly with blissfulness like this.

Unfortunately, I knew that our time was too short and I was limited with money, energy, and status as well as I was taken myself by another. I was probably the thing Ong wanted most, though I knew how conceited that sounded. Or maybe that was just my hope. I wished there was a way I could give him myself, not just these temporary dates where we pretended like I was his. I should not want to be but I did want to be the most special in the world to him, well next to Seongwoo, who was number one to both of us. Seongwoo came first, in the end, even above our feelings that we had been stomping out before they had a chance to really grow, though I felt like they were sprouting buds and catching fire on their own. The smile that had been on my lips for several minutes without me trying to force it even faded to a troubled frown and I sighed in a tired manner.

How am I going to say goodbye and let you go, charming, infuriating, sexy yet cute Ong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the continued angst. I think these Ong, Niel dates are sweet and fluffy and bittersweet. Because we all have a feeling that they could like each other a lot but they are sort of trapped and their time is limited, which is just their unfortunate draw in the cards of fate. Those that have guessed it in the previous chapter comments were correct, actually Daniel has been gradually falling in love with Ong(which he's feeling guilty about of course because of Seongwoo). He's been denying it and running away from it because it makes things complicated for all of them and because he knows that that will make giving Ong up all the harder. He might have fallen more for Ong if their circumstances had been different, but since he fell for Seongwoo first there's just not enough room in his heart to split between both of them equally.
> 
> To both of them, Seongwoo comes first and then Ong has his own problems to deal with and his complicated personality which makes it impossible for him to be in a real relationship which Daniel desires and wishes for. So, in the end, they have good feelings and intentions for each other but they are pushing down on their feelings intentionally to prevent them from growing, even in the midst of these romantic dates. Which is why they aren't as affectionate or complimentary and have more silent interactions. Their love can never be brought to fruition, not in this lifetime, no matter what they do or try to do. There is just no logical hope for them to be happy as a couple even if they were to pursue that, with the nature of both of them and the opposite sort of things they need. They can both only hope for better luck when meeting in their next life and for things to end not quite so terribly for all of them.
> 
> The end is near actually, in the next chapter, things will happen, and we're going to have to say our goodbyes to Ong. So, get read for super duper angst and bring your tissues. I can promise that this story does have a happy ending, sort of. Ong will not be dying or disappearing exactly.
> 
> Let me know what you think. Sorry again for the downer(but there were some funny and sweet moments right?). I really wanted to explore something different with this story. I realized that it's turned quite a bit darker and more emotional than I had intended. I only go the direction that my characters lead me. Maybe it is healing my own bouts of depression. Maybe I see myself in Ong and understand his wishes for escape. I don't know really. I can only hope you guys don't hate me too much for making Ong suffer and making him such a complicated, pitiful, lovable person we hate to seperate from. At least Daniel is trying his best to make Ong leave with as many happy memories as he can and not spend his last days with only his terrible monsters. He will be sent off knowing that he is greatly loved and appreciated. And Ong will be going to a happier place and this is what he wants. Sometimes when people are really suffering, we have to give them what they truly wish for even if it means we will be left behind to grieve and miss them. This touches on a life lesson, which I'm sure is relatable to many of you.
> 
> Comment and kudos juseyong~ If you really like it, please recommend to your friends ^^
> 
> <3 Raina


	14. (Final) The result of the flip is heads.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of Ong, that's all I can say for now. Prepare for major angst, get your tissues ready. I'm sorry in advance. Remember, it's what Ong wants and needs! And in no way did Daniel want to do this!

“What are you doing? You're going to fall in the water and you can't swim. Ah, sincha, you're an Ongcheongie too. I should get paid for keeping you clumsy guys alive. I'm like your managers and body guards and boyfriends wrapped in one. The other day Seongwoo was so into some poetry book he was reading that he nearly walked in the way of someone on a skateboard."

 I came up to Ong and grabbed his waist. He was balancing on the tip of some pointy rock, looking out over the ocean with its fierce, splashing waves from the strong wind blowing. This nearly perfect triangular rock was perched perilously close to a cliff and I had panicked and rushed over when I saw the man dressed as usual in all black on top of it with it jutting over open waters. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest through my gaping mouth.

I felt better at least now I had my arms on him and I was near. He quietly looked over at me, turning his pensive, sad face just a millimeter, which showed off his chiseled, movie star looks extensively. His sharp features softened as he serenely smiled, one of his kitten lip’s corners crawling up. Then, he grabbed my hands and tugged. I gave him what I sensed he wanted, that sort of intimacy I gave to Seongwoo constantly, but that we hardly took part in, either because we felt that we shouldn’t or that it was just awkward for our characters.

I hugged him around the stomach and rested my chin on his shoulder, smiling softly as I looked at him. He was really gorgeous even more so up close than he had been while I was watching him from afar while I was collecting seashells. I had noticed Ong looking for ones that were purple, so I decided to help as a way of giving him a special present. Oddly he seemed to like that color as well.

 "You should be more careful. You scared me. You weren't thinking of..."

He looked back out at the water and rubbed my hands. "I can't say that I wasn't. I don't like lying to you for some reason, not since I started finally admitting things that I hadn’t told anyone until you. Though lying has been second nature to me my whole existence. Out of necessity. I was wondering if jumping into the ocean from a high place would be a painless way to go or if I should take my risks elsewhere."

 I squeezed his tummy and whined in complaint. "You promised you wouldn't talk about depressing stuff..."

 "Yes, but I never promised not to think of it. Sorry, Hot Stuff. Don't be concerned. I wasn't about to test it. Not just yet…"

 I was silent as I snuggled up to him and pulled him back against my chest with my feet heavily planted in case some accident occurred I could throw us back from danger. We looked out over the water surrounding the island with the green blue water crashing against the nearly black, jagged volcanic rocks. It was a breathtaking sight of natural beauty.

Both my boyfriends had thought it would be great to take a trip to Jeju. Seongwoo couldn't recall when he had gone as a kid and Ong had never been outside of the city. In fact, as it turned out, Ong had never seen anything during the day . Because of their complicated situation, Ong had always lived as a creature of the night. Thus, Seongwoo had offered to change his sleeping patterns just this one weekend.

I spent time with my cute, sweet, nerdy boyfriend Seongwoo at night cuddling on the couch with a movie, making out and rather not so innocently caressing in the jacuzzi tub. I spent the day exploring the island doing couply things with Ong. Ong hadn’t made any attempt the last several days to do anything beyond kissing, which I was surprised and almost disappointed by. Mostly, however, I was worried. I was often worried about him these days actually, just the same as Seongwoo had been. As the days went on and the time approached that we had promised without any sort of cure presenting itself no matter how much research me and Seongwoo had been doing, I found that Ong was becoming more quiet, gloomy and pensive like this.

The whole reason we had had this trip was because it was probably going to be Ong’s first and last time to go out and about freely during the day, being whoever he wanted to be. He had told me that he had never taken a day trip outside of Seoul and he had never even seen the ocean. I knew it was strange to him though, as he’d gotten used to hiding his identity and living in the shadows. He often squinted outside as if the sun was too bright for him that it physically hurt his sensitive eyes and his paper thin, alabaster skin shined and glowed even more so than Seongwoo’s had, like those vampires in Twilight. My heart swelled with pity and my eyes stung, partially from the salt water spraying into them through the wild winds where we are on top of a volcanic cliff overlooking the ocean at the southern tip of Jeju island.

“How is it?” I called to be heard over the harsh wind.

We were standing on a tall, sharp rock, the highest point that he had climbed because he had no fear, well he wouldn’t seeing as he thought he was going to be dying some day no matter what he did. He might even welcome a sudden accident so he didn’t have to make a decision that would hurt others. His hands were back in the pockets of his black leather rider and a black cap was on his head to stop his hair from blowing all over.

“It’s breathtaking. I always wanted to come to the ocean in the middle of the day. Thank you for making this happen…”

I leaned closer to him in order to hear him better since he was speaking in an unusually soft tone and the wind was carrying his suddenly sweet, emotional, honest words away that I was desperate to hear once he had started. I couldn’t recall a time that Ong had ever thanked me for anything. He wasn’t the type to express emotions beyond those that were comical or playful or satirical.

 “Actually, I am grateful for many things towards you, Niel. Thank you for showing me what a normal person’s life can be like and for giving me some of those moments that I was envious of with others, especially with happy couples. I am happy to know that this will be the same way that you treat my beloved Seongwoo, who deserves this sort of fun and carefree happiness and adventure. You are the greatest person I could imagine for him. I hope that you will be happy together forever. I’m going to be leaving Seongwoo in your total care very soon. I think I have nothing to worry about in regards to him.”

My hands fisted in his shirt, my heart squeezing painfully in my burning chest, my eyes narrowing as I felt hurt and angry. I forced him to turn around, pulling on his arm a bit hard which I instantly regretted. I didn’t want to hurt Ong, he had been through enough pain all on his own his entire existence.

 Ong quickly wiped his eyes and looked away, but I caught on that he was crying. He looked down at his fingers playing with the ties on my hoodie, while I wiped away his tears with the backs of my fingers, my touch turning extremely gentle in a way I usually reserved only for Seongwoo until recently and my anger faded slightly. Judging from the streaks and redness of his face he had been here staring into the ocean and softly weeping for several minutes before I even came up to check on him.

“Hey, you jerk, why are you talking like this? We still have time. Try thinking positive for once. We can figure something out. You don’t need to prepare your goodbyes and your will already, Jesus,” I scolded softly, looking at him with concern and affection.

“I know, I know. But I think this is a good place to say goodbye. I’m thinking of cutting our time short here. There’s no use in waiting any longer. It’s just going to make things more painful. You and Seongwoo have your futures to think about and school’s almost up. I don’t want to mess something huge like that up. I already quit my job at the café and told my friends that I would be moving away. I’m ready to go. You promised to let me if I was feeling any worse…”

“Is it that bad? Your depression, self-doubt, whatever these monsters are? Even though I’ve been treating you well, taking you to everything you’ve wanted to see and do?” I murmured, brushing some hair out of his face that was covering up his eyebrows under the cap.

I didn’t want him to look like Seongwoo. This was purely Ong and I wanted to keep my feelings and thoughts straight in this intense, emotional moment. Especially if he was going to be saying goodbye to me now.

“My pain has nothing to do with you, Daniel. I had a great time on earth. You made me genuinely laugh and smile more than my years here combined. I thank you for it immensely. I wish that I had met you under normal circumstances and that we could be officially together, I truly do. I think that we honestly could be really good together, if there wasn't a giant wall between us, Seongwoo. But that’s not how fate has dealt out our hands in this game. It’s time for me to fold my cards, accept my defeat, and walk away with the money I still have to go take my chances at another table.”

I pouted sulkily, hating that I understood his logic and his analogy all too well and that I couldn’t find any argument. The only things that were running through my mind were incredibly childish. Stay with me, I need you both, you’re important to me, why do you want to leave me, I thought you liked me, am I not good enough, why can’t I make you happier.

Ong brushed my cheeks and kissed from my forehead down to my nose, under it, around my cheeks and the dimples from me smiling, to my lips with sweet, pleasant pecks. They made me emotional. I closed my eyes as tears sprang forward. I just couldn’t hold in the pain and worry and angst any more.

 “I like you…” I murmured. “More than I have admitted to myself or Seongwoo…”

It was the first time I had said it out loud to anyone. My heart felt full to bursting currently, especially after it was hot, like a hot air balloon just about to pop. I loved this man in a different way than I felt for Seongwoo, but it still was almost the same level of intensity. The idea of losing him after this moment was incredibly painful. Like someone turning acupuncture needles all over pressure points in my chest. I was having a hard time even breathing and I was feeling faint and dizzy.

“I know, Daniel. I knew just from the look in your eyes this past week or so. I’m the same. We should keep it to ourselves though and leave those feelings unspoken. They will only poison the relationship you will be left with. He’s the one you are meant to be with. It will be hard for Seongwoo if he knows that I had as much of your heart as he does, though he won’t ever tell you that he’s jealous and hurt about it. Don’t feed his inferiority complex, because he’s perfect. I was an accident, a mistake of nature. I was meant to be unhappy and forgotten.”

 

“Don’t you dare think that, you jerk…” I sniffled and swatted his back, then brought him into a crushing hug.

Ong sighed and rested his chin on my shoulder, leaning into my body and patting my back.

“Shh. It’s the truth. I know things that neither of you two could ever know. Because I’m an ethereal being and I’m connected to a different time and space than you are. My time has come. If I try to fight it any longer, then these dark monsters inside of me will force me to take my own life. The cosmos doesn’t need me in this body anymore. I can’t explain why or how I know but I just do. You have to set me free now, Niel…”

“I can’t…I can’t let you go, Ong…just the thought is killing me…” I admitted with chokes and gasps as I sobbed into his shoulder, squeezing him tighter. “Sorry, I promised. I know. I’m an asshole and a hypocrite. But god damnit…I want to make you happy and keep you by my side too. By both of us. We don’t want you to go. It will crush us…”

Ong chuckled as he reached up and brushed my hair, shushing and rocking me like I was a baby. I certainly was feeling like one, like a three-year-old clinging to his mom before he had to go to a full day of daycare. I was terrified to be alone and felt like the person that was most important to me in the world was going to be disappearing forever if I let them go physically.

“You will be alright. You guys have each other. That’s who you both need. Much more than either of you need me. I’m just an obstacle that’s holding you guys back from getting as close as you should be. It’s going to be better in the long run with me gone. You know that. It’s cute how you’re suddenly being clingy since you’ve never been like this. All that masculinity and sexiness totally stripped.”

I didn’t appreciate the teasing but I did appreciate the comfort and the way he held me with such warmth and firmness, like despite what he was saying, Ong didn’t really want to let me go either. I realized that was just how his character was, as it was similar to mine but worse. He didn’t say how he truly felt and if he felt it was right not to, then he would go to impressive lengths to hide it. Ong must have been caring for me a lot more than he let on this entire time. That’s why he was crying earlier, I had a feeling. Maybe that was just me being narcissistic because I wanted to mean something to him more than others. Or maybe it was that we were connected on a whole nother, telepathic level we couldn’t explain logically.

“I’ve never thought of you that way so negatively, like an obstacle or roadblock. Don't you dare think that I ever really did whatever it may have seemed like. I have felt bad that there wasn’t another me. That way I could keep both of you. I’ve realized recently that I’m incredibly selfish. I very much enjoyed playing ‘couple’ with you, just so you know.”

“I know that I come across as a person who would never want to even think of staying with one person. To be honest, I enjoyed it immensely as well. If you had another version of you and I had more time left, I would take you up on that offer without a blink.”

For a long time, we just hugged and Ong let me cry out all my misery on his shoulder. The only sounds were the wind, muffled sobs, and the crashing waves that cooled and wetted us.

“When we go back in, I am going to put a good-bye letter I wrote for him on the table. Then, I want you to wake him up. As soon as he wakes up, I don’t want you to tell him anything. I just want you to say it. Three words, nice and clear so he hears it. The rest will be up to fate after that point.”

I shook my head and sniffled hard as I held his pretty face in my hands, trying to memorize it despite it was a fuzzy image and feeling regret that I didn’t spend more time with him, just looking at him. He meant this much to me. Why did I ever fight and deny it? Why wasn't I nicer and cherish him more when I had the chance? My heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces but I had no more tears to cry.

“He’s going to be angry.”

“It’s better that he’s angry at me then depressed. It’s going to be painful for him either way. This will be less so, not the slow burn kind. Like a bandaid, it’s better to pull it off and then apply pressure to the sting. Me leaving is the band-aid, you’re the pressure that will make the pain go away. I leave him in your hands now. Take care of Seongwoo for me. Take care of yourself. Both of you be happy. Try not to think of me so much, in the case that I really disappear. It will only hurt and come between you, which I’ve had enough of.”

I sighed and stared him down. He was clearly not going to budge on this, no matter what else I did or said. Ong proved to be incredibly stubborn.

“Then you try to think positive thoughts then up until…whatever happens happens, Ong. It’s more likely that you will go to a better place or you will somehow merge with Seongwoo according to our research. I just wish that it’s painless and that from then on you will be happy and free completely from your monsters. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be your knight in shining armor and drive them away.”

Ong ruffled my hair and pinched my cheek, smiling in that smirky, cocky way that was characteristically irritating and sexy. It was so Ong. My Ong. Or so I wished he could stay as. If only the universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to take him away. But then again, it would be asking too much I suppose to let me have two people to love without some sort of consequence or decision time coming up.

“You detained them, Hot Stuff. That was a great feat in itself. Seeing as I couldn’t detain them no matter how many people I fooled around with or how much alcohol I consumed.”

I shook my head and chuckled. “I’m going to miss hearing that weird name. It’s been a fun time, you infuriating jerk.”

Ong pinched my cheek and smirked, bumping my forehead playfully with the brim of his cap.

“It has been indeed. You were way too fun to tease and flirt and mess with, by the way. I was holding back because I’m actually a nice guy, deep down. You should be thankful for that.”

I rolled my eyes and stepped off the rock. “Yeah, right. I’m so very thankful for how nicely you treated me, Prince Ong. I suppose we should take our leave now. After you, your highness.”

 I gave a deep bow and then held my hand out, speaking in a lofty, devoted servant-like tone. He took it and stepped down off the rock.

We walked back to the hotel, holding hands tightly and smiling at each other, both of us with red, sad, apprehensive eyes.

 

 

Ong kissed me goodbye without another word, then laid down on the bed. I sat down next to him and brushed his hair. He closed his eyes, refusing to look at me. I supposed that it would make it difficult for both of us so he was avoiding that. We had already had our goodbye. I was the one that was still struggling to finalize it and finish letting go. I sighed deeply and kissed his forehead.

“I hope I see you again soon, somehow, Ong. Safe travels. I pray that you don’t experience any sort of pain. I will miss you. Honestly, I will miss you a ton and never forget you…”

“Miss you too…love you, always...” he whispered just as I was waking up Seongwoo on the other side of the bed.

That jerk, I thought. He did that on purpose so I would be able to say anything more to him. Robbing the chance of me even being able to say it back, which he deserved to hear even if he knew that it was true. To the last breath he takes, he’s infuriating and defiant. I smiled bitterly as I glanced his way. He was now completely motionless, like a robot that had been shut off. Which he basically was. Look at me, falling for and crying over the loss of a machine basically.

Seongwoo sat up, rubbing his eyes. He smiled as soon as he saw me, his pretty lips curling up at the corners like a sleepy but blissful kitten.

“Morning…” he mumbled sleepily.

I greeted as soft and carefree as I could manage. “Good morning, baby.”

 I brushed his messy hair just a bit out of his eyes and helped him put his glasses on so he felt more comfortable. I felt at ease more too when he looked more like my Seongwoo and less like Ong that I was going to basically have to ‘kill off’ now.

“It’s still light out. Why did you wake me up early? Why does it look like you’ve been crying? Ong didn’t have anything else to do? Or was he feeling unwell?” Seongwoo glanced between us and the window with the bright light shining in through the whispy blue curtains.

I chewed on my lip as I looked between them with hesitation. I really wanted to disobey Ong. I wasn’t ready to give him up, even though we had said our goodbyes and I had let him think that I was ready. I honestly didn’t think I ever would be ready. The more I spent time with him the deeper I would fall. Which wasn’t right for Seongwoo. I couldn’t divide my heart like that and I couldn’t find another magic earring and hope to make two of me so easily either. I needed to be mature and do the right thing. Time had finally come to choose. Who needed me more? Who did I love more? Who was going to be in my life longest? Who’s feelings were the most important to me? Who was more right for me in this lifetime?

I glanced back and forth between them for several agonizing seconds more that felt like years. 

“Seongwoo, I love you. I love you so much...”

I pulled Seongwoo’s surprised, horrified face to me and kissed him hard. He fought me, trying to turn to see what had happened to Ong, reaching his hands out to catch him and hold him. The bed was too large for him to reach Ong who had fallen asleep right at the opposite edge, as if he had predicted this moment and planned in advance. I continued to kiss Seongwoo, forcing my eyes shut tight and fighting back the tears that were building up. I battled every impulse in my body to see what was happening behind Seongwoo to the other love of my life. I didn’t want either of us to be haunted with the memories of his disappearance or death or whatever was happening behind us.

Goodbye, Ong. Please, please, be happy. Don’t think that I’m choosing Seongwoo over you or that I loved him more, because that’s not necessarily true. I’m doing this because it’s what you wanted and I’m scared that I’ll never be good enough to save you from your monsters. If you’re going to go no matter what I do or feel, it’s better that you go this way, peacefully. I love Seongwoo so much and I know he needs me and I know he’s like your baby. I will carry on your mission to make Seongwoo a happy, confident, whole person who loves and believes in himself. I will take care of him and heal him and make sure that he gets all the happiness that the both of you deserved but have had taken or been blocked from. Safe travels, my friend. My Ong. The one and only. My soulmate that came to me at the wrong place and the wrong time. I love you and I will never, ever forget you. Let’s meet again in another lifetime and have a proper relationship where I can devote all my time and feelings to you alone the proper way that you deserve and how I utterly wish that I could have done in this lifetime…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ending is a bit open. I want you guys to think, even though Daniel clearly choose Seongwoo in the end as we have all predicted I'm sure because it has always been Seongwoo, at the end he is thinking of Ong and doesn't want Ong to think that he chose Seongwoo because he loved him more. So, what do you guys think? Did he love them equally but in different ways? Or did he love one of them more so and he's not being fully exclusive even with us about it?
> 
> I know this is extremely angsty and it's probably not the ending that you would have hoped for or imagined. I wanted to explore a sort of character death and this character just spoke to me that this is what he wanted and this is what made sense for all of them and with what Ong has been going through. He's such a complicated kid. Dealing with intense depression can be like this, especially if you know that your continued existence is a burden or block for those that you love. It would be hard to keep fighting in Ong's case yet he fought for a long time. Maybe it is better for him to be at peace and be let go than force his death. Actually basically the universe was calling him to come back to it but he fought it for Seongwoo's sake, thinking that he had a mission to fulfill. But once he found Daniel, he basically felt like his part in the mission was through after helping Seongwoo and Daniel get closer. Ong basically lost his reason for staying on this Earth, though Daniel was also the reason he was delaying and debating not to go. Because for the first time he fell in love and part of him really wished that he could experience that. But the beauty of Ong is he seems like a selfish guy but he turns out to be the kindest, biggest hearted, most selfless of them all. He sacrificed his happiness and his chance for love all for Seongwoo, who he loved immensely. *Heart stings* uwu I hope that you were able to fall in love with Ong, especially at the very end. Just like Daniel did, even more so after learning what Ong did for them. Daniel denied and pushed his feelings and then at the very last moment he became aware of them as they spilled out uncontrollably from some deep inner corner of his soul. 
> 
> There will be one more chapter, the epilogue, and it will be a bright, positive, fluffy, romantic note. Ong is not exactly gone forever, just he is gone as we know of him which hurts us and all the characters involved minus himself. He will be happier and going to a 'better place' so to speak. Most important is that Ong is free like he's wanted and he has a chance for a better life. Daniel of course isn't lying about loving Seongwoo. He's still got one of the loves of his life right? And he will be sure to treat him well and cherish him even during their times of grief. See in the next chapter~ I haven't written it yet but you can expect something like 'Kill Me Heal Me' if you've seen that drama and made it to the ending. Hopefully I will have the update up before the end of May. I don't know because endings are so hard for me to write and I think that possibly I need to re-read this story again. Lots of other ongoing stories and one-shots to keep you occupied~ 
> 
> Comment and kudos juseyo~ Sorry for making you cry if I did. How many tissues you guys must have gone through....I am sort of enjoying angst because I get to be evil and really tug at people's heart strings. I honestly cried so much when I wrote and when I edited this chapter. I think it's the saddest stuff I've ever written. Goodbye for now Ong, goodbye for now my lovely readers! Good luck getting tickets for the concert~
> 
> <3 Raina


	15. (Epilogue)Double Sided Combo Coin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And to soothe your broken hearts after 'losing' Ong, here's a somewhat happy ending for Seongwoo and Niel.

Please don't skip Author's Notes at the bottom~

 

I woke up from a long slumber to an empty bed. I had apparently slept so long that my phone was dead though I remembered that it had been almost full battery when we went to bed in Seongwoo’s apartment and my phone's battery life was awesome to the point it could last a full day if I didn't use it. Had I slept over a day?

 I looked at the clock which read it was 1pm. The date couldn't be right. If it was, that would mean that I slept for over two days.

Why hadn't Seongwoo woken me up? Had I just not woken up or didn't remember? Nothing had happened to him, right? Ong was gone. Was Seongwoo somehow gone too? Had this curse made me make the most difficult decision of my life which turned out to be useless by some cruel trick of fate?

"Seongwoo? Seongwoo! Are you here?"

I panicked as I sat up in the bed and looked around the room. I saw some plates on the kitchen counter and I noticed that the closet was open with Ong's clothes scattered about. I knew that because they were black and half of them clearly club clothes. Certainly not something Seongwoo would wear.

"That's odd. Seongwoo? Are you in the bathroom. Seongwoo!" I shouted to be heard from every inch of the house, my heart racing and chest constricting.

What was going on? Where was the love of my life seriously? How had I slept two days and missed school? Fuck, what if something terrible had happened to him. Ong had asked me to protect him. He had left Seongwoo in my care and gone peacefully, like he wanted. Leaving us behind in grief. I remembered Seongwoo crying until he slept the night we came back, refusing to even face me because he was still angry at me for teaming up with Ong and keeping him out of the loop.

Dammit. What if he did something stupid? What if he tried to follow Ong?

I jumped up and tore through the house, shouting his name desperately, my panic and fear rising to extreme levels. As I ran through the living room the third time around, biting my lip and fighting the tears streaming down my face now, the door opened. I stopped and turned, looking there hopefully.

A tall, handsome man in a black, oversized hoodie came, his handsome triangle dotted face framed by comma style hair, his kitten lips in a soft smirk as he saw me in my comical, frozen in mid-run stance, round golden rimmed glasses on his head rather than his nose. I blinked, feeling like I had seen a ghost.

"O-Ong?"

"It’s not…Did you want it to be all along?" The man sighed and said, tone soft yet slightly annoyed.

"Seongwoo?!" I exclaimed with a dolphin like escalating squeak.

Seongwoo looked different than I had ever seen him. Why had he styled his hair the way Ong did? Why was he wearing Ong's clothes? Why no more glasses? He nodded and came in the house further. He had a bag full of groceries in his hand, which looked heavy.

 I ran over and kissed his cheek before helping him, surprised to see he was wearing the faintest amount of makeup. His kohl lined, dark chocolate almond eyes were so pretty. I got caught up staring at them up close with my hand over my pained chest.

Oh, this is sheer torture. I just gave him up, so why must Seongwoo have to go out of his way to look like him? Was this some new way of grieving? I had to understand him and be supportive and not comment on it I decided. It was going to be rough on Seongwoo for a couple weeks at least.

Hell, it wasn't going to be easy on me either. The day I realized how intense my feelings for Ong were was the day that he ended up leaving us forever after all. Who could quickly get over that? Suddenly losing a lover and a family member/best friend?

 I felt like even his way of speaking was different. It was more mature and straightforward. But that loving sparkle and shy flush were still there, thankfully. This was still him. The love of my life. The one I risked and gave up everything for. My nerdy, sweet Seongwoo.

"Yes, I'm still here. Unfortunately. Black just suits my mood these days. And...as for the hair, I just felt like I needed a change."

"You're not wearing glasses?"

We set down the groceries. I got started putting them away right away, feeling terrible I had slept so long and made him deal with his grief plus household chores and making meals all on his own. I regretted it immensely. I should have been there to hug him and cheer him up and do everything for him, including cooking and personally heading him comforting foods like hot chicken noodle soup. As his boyfriend, that should have been my responsibility.

 He took the golden rims from the top of his head and looked at them quizzically as if he had forgot he put them there.

"Oh...I was wearing them when I was in the store. They suddenly felt uncomfortable. Maybe I don't need them. My eyes aren't that bad anyway. I guess it’s time for contacts"

"You look nice without them. Only it’s weird because you look...um...sorry, nevermind..."

I stopped, not wanting to bring up Ong. Just because he wasn't on his knees sobbing, doesn't mean Seongwoo was over the loss or comfortable with Ong being mentioned yet.

"Ah, sorry Niel. I didn't think about it. I look like him, right? That must have given you a scar and now you’re bummed out and uncomfortable. I didn't even really think of it. This just happened naturally."

I pulled the man looking down and glum into my arms. "Shh, it's okay I'm not upset at you. Do what you feel like. I'm not going to control or judge you like your ex. Don't ever feel like you need to change or stop anything for my sake. I like you just the way you are. You look nice like this too…it's different and it does remind me of him. But I sort of like it."

Seongwoo hugged me back and grabbed his shirt, pressing his nose in the crock of my neck. He kissed me there and I shivered. Why did his touch feel different in a subtle way I couldn't put my finger on?

"Hmm, I kind of like it too. To be honest, I have been taking a rest from school caring for you, thinking, and journaling. I wrote my whole story with Ong down and tried to analyze what happened with us and how are characters differ."

I felt a sting again in my chest at the image of him curled up on the couch crying to himself, not eating anything as he slowly wanted away, not getting any sleep, becoming even skinnier. I wanted to say something but I decided it could wait. He was on a roll, as if he was spilling his deepest secrets and all the guts in between out.

“After looking back at things, I started feeling different. Actually, it happened after I met you I think. My personality started changing. I felt funnier, bolder, braver, more confident, more mischievous and even sexy sometimes...Ong too. I saw him with you. He was different. Sweet and caring and sometimes really emotional and honest. He was not like that with anyone, not even me really. Granted we could never meet in person. I think...our personalities were merging since then. After we got love from you and fell in love and started to open up and trust and want to change who we were to be close to you. I think that's why he felt like it was time to go. I didn't need him as a shield anymore because my personality was different and I also had you. Now...hmm...it's almost like he's inside of me somehow? Like I am both Ong and Seongwoo? I feel like a fuller, more complex person. I am a new me. I think thankfully he's not gone like we feared. He's in me... somewhere...I can't reach him yet. I want to for you, if I could bring him out and separate out conscious for a moment..."

 I rubbed his back and shook my head. "No, no, Seongwoo hyung. Don't do that. You don't need to. I only need you. I want us to be happy, just you and me. He would hate that. It would be getting in the way again. Don't force yourself. Something bad could happen. I could lose you and if that happened I think I’d just die. Just stay as you are. Have you been okay? I'm really sorry that I haven't been around. I don't have a clue how or why I possibly slept that long. I'm terribly sorry to leave you alone. Are you still...?"

Seongwoo shook his head and kissed my neck several times, squeezing me tighter. I loved the way he fit in my arms. This moment felt perfect even despite the sad tint to it.

"I'm not angry anymore. Sorry for being a brat since Jeju. I understand why you guys did it. I'm not so bitter now that I can't admit you made the right choice and handled it well. You had no other choice. He was a stubborn guy, we would have lost him to his demons if you hadn’t agreed to do things his way."

 "Oh, thank God. I was worried you were going to hate me and leave me. Sorry again, baby...for everything..." I pet his head and kissed his temple. “You really can throw quite the tantrum and you’ve got good aim. I still have bruises.”

“Sorry, I really was angry out of mind that time…” he replied sheepishly.

 

 

Flashback

 

“How could you not tell me? Go behind my back and trick me? The both of you? I hate you!”

I dodged a shoe, but couldn’t dodge the hairbrush. I winced as it hit my back. “Seongwoo…Seongwoo hyung…calm down please before you hurt yourself.”

“I’m not going to calm down! Stay away from me! I hate you! I don’t want to see your face now! Leave!”

“I’m not going to leave you upset and emotional like this, hyung…”

“Leave! I hate..I hate...ahh…”

Seongwoo stopped throwing everything in the hotel room and our suitcase that he could at me, running about the room to avoid me trying to catch and hug him as he panicked. It had been like this the past hour. We had been fighting. Well, mostly Seongwoo had been scolding me harshly for what me and Ong had decided to do and leaving him out of the loop.

I understood he didn’t hate me or Ong though. He was just upset at the loss of his friend and that he hadn’t been able to say goodbye. I had been trying to explain our thought process but he wasn’t at all in any sort of mood to listen rationally.

Exhausted from throwing things and moving about, he collapsed on his knees on the ground, wailing into his oversized hoodie sleeves. I swooped in next to him and sighed with relief as I was able to hold him for the first time in what felt like agonizing days. He needed a hug and comforting words and a shoulder to cry on more than anything, but his anger, hurt, and pride were keeping him from it, pushing me away harder than ever.

He didn’t fight me, luckily and to my surprise. He gave in, clinging to me and crying into my chest. I shushed him and pulled him into my lap, cradling and rocking him like a child. I didn’t mind that this was rather awkward and he was heavy from how tall he was. All I cared about was being there for him and healing his broken heart as much as I could, though I wasn’t truly the one that had caused it.

“It was what he wanted, you know, hyung. He wanted to go peacefully and without drama. If we hadn’t let him go soon, he was going to attempt suicide again. I caught him thinking about it. We talked about it often. He was really getting worse and worse. I know that you wanted him to stay with us somehow, but he didn’t like getting in the way of us and this would have been hard on both of us to keep living this way which was making him feel guilty. Also, I know that you wouldn’t have wanted to lose him in a more painful way and have regrets about not being able to protect him and make his demons go away. I tried to make his demons go away. They were just too strong. He wasn’t meant to stay here permanently, hyung. His fate was to help you and then disappear when he wasn’t needed. I didn’t want to keep you out of the loop, I swear. I didn’t have a choice. He basically threatened me that if I didn’t let him go then we would have lost him in the worst way. That would have been even harder for you to take. I was only trying to protect you and do what’s best for us in the long run, all three of us.”

“But I didn’t…I couldn’t say…” Seongwoo choked out, squeezing me tight enough I worried my rib cage just might break.

“You are upset you couldn’t say goodbye? Or say you loved him and wished him well? That you couldn’t thank him for caring for and advising you all those years? I know. He knew though. He knew everything that you felt and he felt the same, I promise. He loved you more than anything. Enough to sacrifice everything from years ago.”

Ten minutes later, Seongwoo’s crying had died down to sniffles and he was loosely leaning on me, his hands resting on my chest. I had kept talking to him and asking him questions but he hadn’t said a word, even when he stopped sobbing and gasping for breath.

“Do you still hate me?” I pulled his chin up to me to kiss him and wipe his teary, red face.

He sniffled, chewed on his lip and shook his head.

“But you’re still angry? And you’re going to give me the silent treatment?”

He nodded. I realized I wasn’t going to be allowed to cuddle with him either unless he had another emotional break down as he pulled my hands off, stood up, and went to the window, glaring out of it through puffy, wet eyes. I stubbornly followed him and ignored that he stiffened as I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my chin on his shoulder.

“You can be angry and silent, that’s okay. But don’t shut me out baby. It’s just us now and we’re both going to be grieving at the loss of a very special person. I need you just like you need me, for comfort’s sake. At least let me take care of you and hold you here and there…”

“Hmm…” Seongwoo made a sound like he was thinking and he was still uncomfortably stiff in my arms, but he didn’t force me off.

I kissed his neck and squeezed him tight. “Thank you, baby. I love you. So, so much. And he did to. Everything he’s done, even this which he was terrified of, it was all for you, so you know. He loved you even more than he loved me. Let’s be grateful for his sacrifice and remember him as a great, selfless, misunderstood person with a heart of gold.”

 

 

Seongwoo brushed a purplish spot on my wrist. “Sorry for the bruises. I will put some cream on them that will have them gone in no time.”

I slipped his hand off and linked our fingers together, giving him a gentle smile. “I’m sorry that I slept for two days, leaving you alone to grieve and feed yourself.”

"It's alright. You must have had a hard time depriving yourself of sleep to spend time with both of us. We were too greedy. We should have let you sleep more. I'm sorry that I took things out on you when you were exhausted and grieving too. I wish I was emotionally stronger. I do sort of feel that way right now but still. We were both nothing compared to how sound and stable you are."

"No, I'm not really. Am I? I guess I never cried until I met you both... Anyway, enough of that. I can feel that you've lost weight, hyung. Let me cook you a decent, fattening breakfast."

Seongwoo’s pretty, kitten mouth curved up in a genuine happy fashion. "Hmm, I wouldn't mind. You're such a great cook. You would make a good husband."

"Are you proposing to me? Because I do, most definitely I would say I do." I teased him with wiggled eyebrows and pinched his flushed cheeks.

There was my man. He giggled, hiding a shy smile behind his oversized black sleeve. I tussled his hair and put down his glasses so he looked more like himself. Thankfully, the painful twisting in my chest eased. He now looked more like Seongwoo than Ong.

 I wondered if I could forget about Ong by putting all my focus on Seongwoo, and being a good boyfriend to him and helping him get over his grief? It was the first time I had ever lost someone in my life. I wasn't certain how to deal with it and I honestly needed a distraction. I figured taking care of Seongwoo would do wonders. It was something I was good at and honestly enjoyed. I decided to get right on it, sensing a dark shadow looming behind me waiting for me to turn around and give it attention.

"Fried rice sound good?" I asked the man who was clinging on my back as I carried the it's I needed from the fridge to the stove.

As I cooked, he clung to me cutely and watched. I fed him pieces of ingredients here and there. I smiled as I watched him munch like a squirrel.

"You're too cute..." I murmured, turning in to playfully bite his sculpted, flawless nose.

 He squeezed me and giggled, his face turning red. My plan to keep him happy and cared for was working.

"I love you."

His eyes expanded like an owls and his lips rounded in a gasp. He then buried his red face into my sweater hood and literally squealed. I chuckled and went back to mixing. It took him several minutes before he could compose himself to show his face to me.

 "Love you too..." he murmured extremely quiet.

"I know but it's really great to hear finally. Thanks for loving me back. I hardly deserve you. You're so perfect and beautiful and sweet."

"Stop it. That's overkill, Niel. Ng, ng, ng…" he whined, pouting like ‘hing’ and glaring at me, red as the kimchi in the fried rice I was mixing in.

 "I can't help it, hyung. I mean, baby. You make me want to say cheesy things. I'm just filled up to the brim with greasy happiness. I need an outlet. I was deprived so long of saying what I thought, so from now on I'm going to smother you in loving words. Until you keel over from the goosebumps and cringe." I finished my sentences with an evil, wizard like laugh.

"Please have mercy..." He begged, giving me sparkly kitten eyes.

"Okay, I will stop for ten minutes at least. To give you time to prepare your heart. Here, taste it. How is it? Too bland? Too salty? Needs more spice?"

I gave him a bite of rice off the wooden spoon, my hidden lust spiking up out of nowhere. Damn Seongwoo in black biting and licking at his sauce stained lips wasn't good for my soul at all.

"Hmm, it’s perfect. Tastiest thing ever."

The man's pretty face lit up like a star and he had the sweetest smile. My heart melted into goo like the cheese I had last put into the reddish mixture.

"Better than me even?" I teased and tickled his side in punishment.

"Niel~! That's naughty. How dare you. Ng!" He gasped and swatted my back.

I chuckled evilly. "I guess not then. Now you're thinking inappropriate things. Been awhile since our last groping and make out session. That was in the jacuzzi in Jeju, right? Man that night was hot. I was hard enough to break then."

I plated the food as Seongwoo gagged and hit me several times. We went to the kitchen. Seongwoo hugged me just before going to the other chair to sit down to eat and pressed up to my ear, right at the rim. He whispered in a sensual, husky, playful tone very much reminiscent of Ong.

"I like the feel of it when it's hard. I wouldn’t mind repeating that..." Daniel choked on air and hit his chest hard, his face tinting to his ears.

 "Hyung! Did you just--? I can't believe you? What?" I stuttered, looking at the smirking, actor level handsome boy in utter shock.

Seongwoo feigned innocence and shrugged. "Did I say something weird? You act like you've seen a ghost."

 I shook my head and chuckled, then sat down. We shared amused looks and then started digging in to our food with enthusiasm as if we were in a contest to see who could eat fater. I put extra meat pieces on his spoon, occasionally fed him from my spoon, and wiped his mouth with a tissue. He tried to get me to stop, blushing furiously and shyly looking down at the table and covering his mouth in case I saw some chunks of food.

‘I love you’ I would say every once in a while in the middle of staring at him, forgetting for a moment to even chew. He would nearly choke and need to drink water. Then, he would chew as he sent me hearts or kisses back. I would chuckle and comment about how cute he was and how lucky I was to have him as mine. Finally. It was a great feeling. Being finally official. It wasn't something that needed to be said. It was just assumed.

 

 

He tried to do the dishes after we finished, but I insisted I do it. Instead, he got some vanilla ice cream and stuck by near me, leaning on the counter as he slurped it. We shared in some light conversation about how the food was, what to set out for breakfast tomorrow, and what to do with the rest of our night.

Tomorrow we would unfortunately have to get back to school as we had missed a dangerous amount of classes already and he needed to be getting ready for graduation, finishing papers and theses and such he had been putting off because of me and Ong related stress this last week.

He offered me some ice cream. I gulped it down, greedily joking I would rather have him feed me with his mouth. I got the second shock of my life when he kissed me and did just that, totally out of the blue, holding the back of my head firmly and kissing me with commanding fervor. I had never felt Seongwoo kiss like that. It was extremely hot. It was mind blowing.

My cute, innocent nerd was less innocent despite he still looked pure. I liked that. A lot actually. That was playing hardcore right into my deepest, darkest kink.

After we were cleaned up, we ate ice cream on the couch and put on a Disney movie. We both liked to sing along to the music. As we watched it, we cuddled and I took charge of feeding him from the spoon with him tucked under my arm. We were quiet until a song we liked came on and started singing.

"I will make a man out of you~ Time is racing toward us, to defeat the Huns…"

Seongwoo noticed that I was drumming my fingers on my chin and biting my lips. It was a sign that I was having cravings to smoke again. He left my side for a moment. I pouted at the empty cold feeling. I was used to him right next to me every day now. I especially didn't want to be alone long for now, left with the grief creeping up my kegs like a strangling shadow. He came back not much later with a bag of jellies he set on my knees. I ruffled his hair as he snuggled up to my side and we shared wide, sweet smiles.

"Thanks, hyung. You are great at mind reading. Am I actually dating an X-man? I want to play Spiderman then."

He shrugged. "As you know I am an observant person. Whether it's school or work or you, nothing gets past me," he said proudly.

I snorted, surprised by but liking That response was hardly humble. It seemed my new and improved boyfriend really was more confident and playful and could take compliments well.

"Well, I have something that I hope you will let me get past into you," I replied with a wink.

"Yah, don't tease me!" I laughed hard as he steamed out of his ears and hid his grinning face in my shoulder, squealing with embarrassment.

"You're too freaking cute." I kissed his forehead.

He looked up, clinging to my arm, and pouted, pretty dark chocolate almond eyes narrowed at me. I played with his hair and pecked his forehead some more. He was just irresistibly precious.

We went back to the movie. Seongwoo told me that he would approve of a smoke here and there. I sensed he was worried about how I was feeling. I reassured him the best cure for my stress was jellies and cuddles, nothing else. Then, he forced me to sit in front of him and he gave me a shoulder rub.

He joked about how shoulders were big enough to wash laundry on. I suggested he see them without my shirt on because that was even better and bigger. I succeeded in making him blush and he whined about how much I was teasing him today. Then, he tickled me to the point of death and we wrestled and laughed on the couch until I stopped, laying on his chest with his bare foot captured in my hand.

He giggled as he wiggled his toes from the light tickling. He pet my hair and we laid there comfortably tangled, watching the main fight scene in the movie.

"This is nice. If every day will be like this, then I’m never going to want to leave this house..."

"Hmm, it is great. How about I move in then?"

Seongwoo laughed and tussled my hair. "So quick to jump the gun with everything, you puppy. How about you just keep spending the night here and there? I don't mind having this kind of date. We don't always need to go out. Believe it or not, I am not in love with libraries or gardens. I am great anywhere with you especially if we can be outside of the public."

I looked up at him and grinned wide. He reached down and held my cheek, smiling lovingly at me, affection clear in his eyes.

"You gave me two nicknames. Niel and puppy. I like this. I am great anywhere with you. I'm serious about moving in though. Soon you will be working full time and we should save money to take a trip somewhere on your vacation days."

"Oh, really? A vacation..." He lit up at that.

He hesitated to tell me where he was thinking so I tickled his feet some more which were the most sensitive part of him I learned. Eventually, he gasped put New York. We didn't focus at all on the rest of the movie until I forced out specifics on where he wanted to go and what he wanted to do. I made a mental note and decided I would get part time jobs again to save money. Only after he graduated and started working full time though. Until then, I was going to do what we were doing now. Stick with him, making him laugh, and smile and feel loved.

"You're so beautiful, hyung. Prettier than any flower I have ever seen. You're not a cosmos, you’re ongsmos."

Seongwoo snorted and turned red. "You're so cheesy today. Where on Earth you come up with this stuff?"

I winked. "You got to have your secrets, it’s my turn to have mine~ Oh, you didn't ng me this time. You must be getting used to it now. Good because I'm never going to stop. This is how my everyday will be. Because I love you. You’re the love of my life. I don’t want to be separated from you."

Seongwoo lightly pinched my cheek and pulled. I playfully gnawed on his pale wrist after sliding up the oversized sweater sleeve. He gave me a hing face and whined, "Stop saying it all the time. It's embarrassing."

I leaned in to smile playfully and bump my nose with his. "Hmm, I will stop when you stop being perfect. How does that sound?"

 "Niel, really!" He gave an annoyed shout and disbelieving laugh.

We both shared a good laugh and hugged some more at that. After the movie and credits were done, which we watched just to listen to the great music again, we went to wash up. I had my stuff still from when we came back to Jeju and switched to pajamas right there. I knew Seongwoo was staring at my naked back but I pretended it wasn't a big deal. Eventually, he was going to have to see me naked and he probably had some memory of it now he had merged with Ong. I hoped he wouldn't learn about all we had done and get angry or hurt about it.

I sat on the bed to watch Seongwoo change. But he knew what I was up to. He went out of the room to change and came back. I've already seen all of it though, it's just like Ong's body, I thought but didn't say.

 

 

When he came back, he had no glasses and his hair was flipped back to the side. My heart stopped being squeezed painfully and tears stung the back of my eyes. He looked like Ong so much right now. I ignored the sudden shot of gloom and smiled wide.

"Let's go wash up."

I took his hand and led him to the bathroom. We washed up and brushed our teeth together. The vision of his profile bright back a lot of memories for me. They happened like flashbacks playing a movie in front of my very eyes. Especially the ones of Ong's profile as he worked hard on his barista job, his hair wet from sweat like Seongwoo's was wet from his face, washing his hands the same way.

"I need to go out a moment. Meet you in bed."

I kissed his cheek and then hurried out of the bathroom. I didn't stop until I was out of the house, forgetting to even get some slippers. I took deep breaths and dug my fingers into my hands but it didn't stop the tears from falling. I cried all my earlier pent up emotions out, feeling the looming shadow of grief strangling me like a rope around my chest for a few minutes, careful to be quiet though.

 I didn't want Seongwoo to sense me grieving. I didn't want Seongwoo to know there were times he reminded me of Ong and it made me miss him and it just physically hurt. If Seongwoo knew that, not only would his own feelings be worse as he was forced to remember things were not okay and something was missing in our world currently, he might misunderstand that I loved Ong more and I was regretting my choices.

That wasn't it at all. Of course I made the right decision and of course Seongwoo was the love of my current life and I wanted him the most. It was just a bit rough being reminded of him. I wasn't yet used to the idea I would not see him again and Seongwoo's strong resemblance certainly wasn't helping.

 I tried to reassure myself at least I had a port of Ong in Seongwoo now and that Ong hadn't died at least and he was probably happy now existing in Seongwoo, sharing his identity, his life, and even sharing me. He had what he wanted and in a way, so did I, didn't I? I got both of them in the end.

So why wasn't I fill satisfied? And why was I missing him and feeling sad? Why did I feel like even if Seongwoo dressed and looked like Ong it just wasn’t the same?

 

 

When I went back in, I was in acting mode the best I could. I walked into the bedroom with a carefree, happy to see the love of my life smile, which wasn't all a lie either. He was there in the bed in his pajamas sitting up, his arms around a seal doll.

 "Hi…" he said rather soft and shy, peeking up from under those ebony, spindly eyelashes that went on for days and days.

"Hey baby."

 We smiled at each other and chuckled.

 "Where did you go? Everything okay?"

 "Everything's great. I'm spending the night with you. We actually can sleep together for once all alone, no distractions. Hmm, what should I do with these tingling naughty hands~"

 I climbed in the bed and kissed his cheek. He searched my face with a suspicious look. I kept myself composed and acted nothing but happy with my arms wide open in invitation.

 "Nothing is wrong really. Just went out for some fresh air. Come here, baby. Let's cuddle. Unless you want more."

"I think I like cuddling..." Seongwoo hummed, snuggling into the crook of my arm. "You are warm and snuggly like a teddy bear."

"Am I? Well I'm glad you think so. Because I like cuddling too. You are soft and smell great. Hmm..." I hummed as I squeezed him close, pet his bare, pale arm, and sniffed his silky, dark brown hair.

We were quiet for a long time, just cuddling and listening to music. "Are you happy with me?" He said out of the blue.

"Of course. You are funny and sweet. I love just spending time with you. We don't need to do something even. Why did you ask? Are you feeling pressured? I wished you wouldn't. Just be yourself. That's who I fell in love with. I think you're splendid."

"Oh, do you? Am I? I'm not sure...." He murmured shyly, staring at his fidgety hands and chewing on his lip.

After that, I showered him with compliments and told him a bunch of jokes to keep him laughing. We listened to music we both liked, cuddled, and kissed so many times that our lips were dry and chapped.

I thought about taking things further. I still had yet to make love to him but I had wanted to for ages. He was kissing me in a way that suggested that he wanted to make out but wouldn't initiate it. I decided that it wasn't the right time. I didn't want us to be distracted or thinking of someone else. If I did it with him right then, I would most definitely be comparing him with my times with Ong, not in a bad way, but just it would surely be different. Seongwoo would probably be thinking of that as well, feeling insecure if he was doing a bad job or if I was wishing he was bolder or more experienced.

I concluded that Ong was still too fresh in our minds for us to further our intimacy and that we were both too tired for that right now. We should gradually move into more with exploring with larger amounts of intimacy and sometime later it would happen naturally and it would be perfect.

I had a dream of repeatedly flipping a coin again and again, debating about whether it would land heads or tails and which one I wished it would be. I could never see what it landed on my hand as. Until the very last time. Funnily enough both sides were heads. It was a double headed coin. It was odd though, it was like a combination coin. The man on the coin had hair sticking up at the crown of his head that reminded me of a tail much so.

 I thought for a while about what that meant and when I woke up the next morning an idea hit me. It used to be like Ong was one side of the coin and Seongwoo was another side. Now it was as if they were now mixed and the coin had the same side. I couldn't separate them clearly. They were mixing in a beautiful, magnificent, attractive way. I didn't need to worry about choosing and debating and feeling like I missed out in one way.

 

 

Two months later

 

Things had worked out for us just as we wanted. Seongwoo graduated without problems and started interning for professional psychologist researchers. He was out more hours than he was in.

 I wasn't home before dinner time usually. I took up a couple part time jobs and I studied at the library too because it helped me focus. I had become a more straight-laced student who kept himself distracted and was concerned with money and my grades. I had no choice really. Seongwoo insisted he wanted to go nowhere but New York as his number one choice and he scolded me for hours if I tried to get out of studying doing homework or I came back with a bad report card. Now that we were living together to help save money for a trip to New York, I had no freedom and I couldn't hide anything.

There weren’t really any times that I regretted that however. It was the reason that I knew I needed someone like Seongwoo permanently in my life. He kept me responsible, made me adult, made me a better person and kept our futures in line. Because of that, I no longer had issues with teachers and I wouldn't disappoint parents and I got new skills outside of drinking, working out, dancing, and gaming.

Seongwoo still let me have fun as a reward after getting my work done. It felt great when he praised me and gave me tons of kisses after I got high test scores and put on the Dean's list. That in itself was enough reason for me to keep it up.

 Honestly, I felt good about myself too. As fun as it had been to rebel for a year, it wasn't good for my image or self-esteem. I wasn't teased or laughed at now in class. People looked up to me with respect, complimented me, and asked my advice and in general I had more friends and invites and interested females.

I didn't go to parties unless Seongwoo went with me though. Which was just on occasion. He wasn't that fond of drinking or talking to strangers but he did like the food and dancing.

As for our grief, we were moving past it. We accepted the loss and came to think of Ong still being with us in a different way. Seongwoo tried but failed to bring him out of his body. They were too well blended now. I didn't want him to try either. I was scared of losing him. I lived him so terribly much and truly couldn’t live without him, whereas with Ong, though I had realized with how hard it was at first that I had loved him more than I ever thought, I proved that I could move on without him. Seongwoo was who the man in this lifetime I needed and matched the best with. I never regretted my decision.

 It helped that we agreed for the time being not to talk about him or try to think about him, worrying about the effect on our emotions and relationship. It also helped that Seongwoo was like Ong quite a bit, more and more so as the weeks passed by. I didn't miss him as much because in a way it didn't feel like he was fully gone.

Seongwoo had a bit of Ong’s personality and habits, appearing more so as time passed by. He still liked to wear black, he styled his hair, wore a bit of makeup, and he didn't wear glasses anymore. He was talkative, he joked, he had mischievous moments, he could dance, he was a fantastic enthusiastic lover, he was bolder, he blushed a bit less, he occasionally drank with me, and he liked listening to music.

He was still clean and study obsessed, rather shy, uncomfortable with compliments, sweet, clumsy, and humble, most of the time. I still found him cute and sweet more than I had found Ong sexy and obnoxious. I had the best of both worlds now and I loved him even more with each terrific day we spent together without any issues. He was a well-rounded person and a lover to be envious and proud of.

Which was why I was antsy to have him back home. Today was 100 days since our first kiss. I wrote down all our first in my calendars so we would have something to celebrate and party about. Maybe it was cheesy. I couldn't help myself, I was head over heels still for the first time in my life. I was in a real relationship.

 I was cooking dinner and had wine and candles and a bouquet of flowers in a vase on our dining room table, which was covered with cat cloths. Rooney and Peter were hanging out near my feet, waiting for some of the pasta cream or meat to fall out of the pan as I stirred.

 

 

 The door sounded as it opened. I smiled and my heart raced as excited adrenaline ran through me. He was later than planned but at least he was finally home. Just like any other day, I had missed him terribly throughout most of it, even with my jobs because they had quite a few breaks or the duties were mindless so they didn't suffice as a good distraction anymore. He took off his shoes and the floor creaked.

The cats were meowing at his feet. He greeted them and stopped to pet them, asking about how their day was. I turned to see that he had Peter in his arms, his favorites though Rooney was mine. I smiled and chuckled. I loved that he let me keep my cats here once I moved in and that he had bonded them. I hadn't thought the cleanly organized nerd would be an animal person at all but he clicked with them right away and became a surrogate mommy. In two months, I sometimes suspected they liked him way more.

He put down the cat and walked into the kitchen. "Hmm, what smells so good? Why are you cooking again, Niel? Just get take out like I said. It's hard for you to do that with work and school. You don't need to do all the chores plus cook me meals. We’re in the 21st century.”

"Hey, baby. How was work? You know I just want to. To be nice and make you smile. Your smile is gorgeous. Today is a special day. I wanted to celebrate with you. With something healthy"

He snorted as he came up to me and rested a hand on the back of my neck. "What made up anniversary is it now? The day that you gave me the lavender pen was just ridiculous."

"A big one. The day we first kissed."

"Ah, I did that, huh? Kind of surprised I had the guts. I remember back then I couldn’t even touch you without freaking out."

 I chuckled. "Not as much as I was. Speaking of kisses, where's mine? You know I am a skinship addict and hate it when you leave me hanging."

I pouted and stuck my lips out, turning to get a good look at my working boyfriend. He was so hot I nearly burned myself on the pan. He was dressed in chick all black tight clothes, his hair styled off his head, and light liner around his eyes,  all clean shaven, chiseled, and glowing.

"Gorgeous..." I spat out. He chuckled and bopped my nose.

"Thanks, so are you. More so."

 Then, he turned off the burner and pushed me to the counter, bringing me close for a passionate kiss. I hummed and wrapped my arms around his slender waist, pulling him eagerly close until we were flush together. Our bodies fit perfectly and seemed to be screaming hallelujah. We kissed sweet yet heavy, sucking and biting lightly at each other, running our hands over each other's bodies. I gasped as he started kissing my neck and palming the hardened front of my jeans, his other hand scratching my abs.

"Ah, h-hyung, that's good..." I moaned, tossing my head back.

 He chuckled and sucked harder on my most sensitive spots he had memorized, his hand moving faster and firmer. He was not taking any mercy on me. I was a moaning, wiggly legged, tingling mess.

“Shall we skip dinner? The only meat I'm hungry for is you..." He came up, whispered, then sucked on my ear.

I whined and rocked into his hand, feeling helpless and hot all over. "Fuck hyung… baby...you want to top again, don't you?"

"Sort of in the mood for both. If you don’t mind…"

"You want a long session? Aren't you tired though. You've been late all week...."

"I'm not that tired. We are still young, Niel. Are you though? Did you have a rough day?" he asked in concern, stopping the foreplay immediately and frowning.

Jesus, but is he handsome these days. Shall I just let the dinner grow cold and shag right now? My stomach was growling fiercely though.

 "No, no, there wasn’t anything bad happening, don’t worry. We should still eat first. For stamina. I'm hungry. I don't think I can go long at this rate."

"Okay, you wuss. We will eat first then have fun." He smacked my bum and went away, giving me this irritating, all too familiar, sexy smirk.

 "Come here, you brat." I grabbed him and spun him around, pinning him to the counter and kissing him senseless with all the control in my court now. "I love you."

 The old Seongwoo I knew was back. He was speaking nonsense, covering his mouth and blushing coral. I laughed and teased him. He told me to shut up and I was a ‘big meanie ng maniac’ and smacked my arm.

 

 

While we ate and drank wine, we held hands and chatted about our days. New and improved Seongwoo was animated and a great story teller. I was addicted to hearing his entertaining reports of the things he did and the incredible findings. It was fun to watch him blabber and gesture. It was great to see he was completely open with me now and that we could talk for hours about anything random.

He tried to do the dishes after, saying that I deserved it because the dinner was fantastic even compared to the other times I had cooked and he felt bad that he was a failure as a chef. As usual I insisted that I liked doing the dishes and cooking and it only worried me when he did it because he was clumsy. Even those times that he helped me, he had cut himself with a knife a potato peeler and dropped a few plates.

 He pouted but didn't argue further as he helped me bring the dishes to the sink. I kissed him sweetly and told him it would help a lot if he cleaned up the table and then got our pajamas ready. He seemed surprised that I didn't want desert but turned red and smiled shyly when I said I fully intended to have a delicious Ong cream puff.

He wiped the table and then disappeared into our bedroom, shutting out the cats with an apology as we usually did when we were going to have intimate adult time. I speedily rinsed the dishes and wiped the sink down then followed him in.

Seongwoo hadn't bothered with pajamas as I expected for either of us. He had wiped off his makeup, cleaned his face, stripped, and put on perfume I could smell as I ran towards the bed, tossing off my shirt. He squealed as I belly flopped on the bed, half right on top of him. I chuckled as I greedily grabbed his naked, slim waist and pulled him to lie down more under me.

Our chests warmed as they came together, smooth as silk but contrasting in shape and level of firmness. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and caressed and dug his nails there. Seongwoo loved to touch my abs and shoulders, almost to the point of obsession most of the times we were alone even if we were in the middle of studying for my exams. He was a sex fiend actually, not that I ever complained. There was hardly a day or morning that went by since we started a little over a month ago where he didn't want to do it. I didn’t ever complain of course, I drank up all he had to offer.

 

(Rated M Part)

Like I drank up his sweet lips and eager, soft tongue while my hands roamed his flawless, slender, hot body. Seongwoo gripped my hair and moaned into my mouth, his hips shifting, searching, to grind eagerly against my own. He was rock hard and sensitive, a sign that he had become horny while thinking of sex on the way home, probably taking peeks of some suggestive, raunchy photos he had of me saved in his phone.

I went to remove my pants but he stopped me after pulling down the fly and told me he wanted it like this the first time. He was impatient and couldn’t wait a moment more. I put his legs over my shoulders and entered him raw. He cried out in ecstasy, his face slightly shocked and pained, his nails digging hard into my neck.

 

“You oaky, baby? Shit…” I apologized, pausing in mid thrust.

 I had been too excited and rough with him again. Sometimes it happened when we got too eager and he never tried to slow me down.

“I’m fine. Move...” He demanded, biting his lip after and tensing his bottom.

I groaned and jerked as he constricted tightly around my cock. I did as he ordered, going fast but trying to stay gentle so as not to tear him or give him cramps this time. He tossed his head, arched his back, clawed me, bit his lip, inhaled shakily, exhaled with sweet, enthusiastic moans as I rocked into him and pet his flushed face over his pretty constellation moles.

“Baby, you’re so beautiful. I love you…”

He opened his pretty eyes to look at me and they were pooling with desire and affection. “I love you too, Niel. Come soon. I want to take you tonight, twice. Once here and once in the shower.”

I blushed and whined. “Hyung~ You totally use me as a sex toy, you know? Is this why you let me move in with you? I never would have guessed you had this sort of strong sexual drive. Twice and then in the morning makes three times plus we both have a busy day from seven in the morning.”

Seongwoo chuckled and smirked mischievously. “It’s just the Ong in me now, you know. Never heard you complain. Go harder, you’re being too gentle and slow.”

I gasped and bit my lip, turning red as he smacked my bottom hard and constricted like a boa around my pulsing, sliding cock. I jumped down and crashed my mouth to his, sucking and biting his lips and tongue greedily as I pounded hard and rough into his tiny hole. He didn’t complain even though his knees were now up nearly to his ears which had to have caused him painful cramps.

I turned my hips to go deep into his secret spot, finding that pocket that drove me to the edge in seconds. I tore my mouth away to bite his ear, listening to him cry out curses and compliments about how great I was doing until I exploded, seeing rainbow colors behind my eye lids. Seongwoo cradled my head and kissed my temple, humming with pleasure as I rocked slowly, spilling my seed into him, my sweaty forehead buried in his neck, my panting mouth caressing his shoulder.

“Flip over on your knees, Niel.”

“Shit, already?”

“Yeah, I can’t wait today. Hurry up~” he subtly whined in an attractive, husky tone.

I chuckled huskily, out of breath and covered in sweat, my muscles screaming as I got on knees and rested my head on the pillow. “Like you ever can.”

Seongwoo forced my legs closed and straddled my calves as he pulled down my pants and boxers to my knees. The air was cool on my backside. I could feel the leftover sperm leaking from my cock and boxers onto my thighs and the bed likely as well. We were going to have to clean that tonight and put on a fresh pair of sheets. Luckily Seongwoo had several because we ended up changing them every couple days. I felt embarrassed knowing that Seongwoo was smirking at my ass with appreciative, lustful, possessive eyes.

Good god, did I love when Seongwoo topped. He was like Ong but somehow more intense, because the emotional connection between us was incredibly strong and Seongwoo really took no mercy on me. Ong had actually been a bit more caring and gentle, in fact.

“You have such a fine ass. How could I not want to do serious damage to it any day of the week? I’ve been thinking of it all day.”

“Fuck hyung, that’s hot…” I groaned, biting the pillow as he firmly gripped and massaged my butt cheeks.

“No hyung.” I gasped and moaned harshly as pain shot through me from the smack on the bottom.

“Right, baby. Give it to me good and hard, please.”

“That’s better. Scream for me, Niel. I want the neighbors to complain about us again.”

I chuckled. Seongwoo was such an entertaining, amusing person now. Just the sort of fun, devil may care, confident guy I liked while still being a cute, nerdy, sweetheart at times. I had really hit the jackpot with him and I didn’t think I could ever love anyone this intensely.

“Ah, baby~ Fuck, oh yes! That’s great. Ah, hmm, ah! Ohhh~” I gripped the pillow tight and shouted in ecstasy as he clamped my legs together and went to town on my behind, giving me the fuck of my life that nearly caused me to go blind.

“Niel, hmm, I missed this. You’re so tight. And cute yet hot from this angle. Ah, I love you, Niel…”

I turned so he could see my red, sweaty, pleasure scrunched face better. He liked that, I could tell, his thrusts getting even more wild and erratic.

“Baby, yes, hmm, give it to me good…”

“I will, Niel, I will. Stay still.”

Seongwoo gripped my hips tight and shoved deeper, circling around until he made me shout. He smirked with pride as he found my prostate. Then he started going to town on that one spot like an expert marksman.

“Fuck, fuck, oh god, oh god, ah~”

Seongwoo winced, digging his nails into my hips, slowing his pace a bit which I whined about. “Shoot, I’m already close. Your voice gets me every time…”

“Same baby, same. Don’t slow down though. That felt so amazing a second ago.”

“You asked for it. Don’t complain about being sore later.” Seongwoo chuckled, leaned down to hold my hand and kissed my shoulders, shifting into a position that we both really enjoyed which made me excited enough to drool.

“I won’t baby. Please, fuck me crazy.”

 

 

“Did I do a good job, baby?” I asked as we cuddled, this time back to the way we usually were with him on my chest wrapped around me like a koala. “Was my dirty talk alright this time? I tried hard to be still and more vocal.”

He palmed my abs and kissed my chest, smiling up at me sweetly. I loved seeing Seongwoo’s content, blissful, loved expression after I got him to come. He looked possibly the happiest then and I felt proud of myself. My main mission in life was still to make Ong Seongwoo enjoy every moment we were together and relieve any burdens or stresses that he’d had throughout the day so he could have a peaceful sleep.

“You did great, Niel. That will teach those assholes not to complain. Any time they complain we will just get louder and dirtier.”

I chuckled and nudged his temple, squeezing him tight and not ever feeling like letting go because this particular person in my arms felt more perfect there than anyone ever had. “I love this evil streak.”

“Another Ong gift. It’s new. You don’t mind that I’m changing every week? I’m worried that you might not like me as much since you fell in love with a very different version of me…”

I pulled the lip he was chewing on out from the trap of his crooked, pearly front teeth and bumped the furrow between his dark, groomed brows with my nose. I then tipped his chin up to shower him in loving, reassuring, innocent kisses.

“No matter how you evolve, you will always be you Seongwoo and I will always love you. You just get better and better in my opinion. More and more my type. You have completely changed what my type is, in fact. I don’t mind it at all. So, don’t worry your pretty head about that sort of thing. Just keep living and do you. I will be happily by your side, always. Just like I promised him.”

“Okay, I will do that then.”

“Goodbye. Finally listening to me. That’s definitely a change I approve of. Though that’s certainly not something that’s inherited from him.”

“No, it’s certainly not a trait he possessed. You are just full of wonders. I’ve never met someone more perfect.”

“I can say the same thing about you. What guy wouldn’t mind switching roles frequently?”

“Ah, right, I guess I am a pretty rare find then, when you put it that way.”

“Now who’s the cocky one?”

We both giggled and kissed some more. We argued between kisses about who was more perfect, cocky, and who loved each other more. Then, we cuddled and listened to music, singing a duet until we grew sleepy and called it a night. Just like every other perfect, blissful night we spent together in our carefree, easy going life and continued our pact not to talk much about things that made us sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys. You've been patiently waiting for this and it's finally here. Goodbye to HOT for good~ I know that this story was really different from what I usually write. It made you confused and probably extremely emotional like you thought you were turning bi-polar. Thank you for coming along on this journey with me as I explored a whole new fantasy genre and a new concept of Ong and Ongniel with the darker, sexier, mature versions. Of course I wasn't going to make this story have a super angsty ending~ I'm not so evil. At least I will patch your heart up after breaking it the last chapter. Maybe this wasn't exactly the ending you guys were thinking of/hoping for when you were in the beginning or middle of this story, but at least it's not a depressing one, not fully.
> 
> I really appreciate the few of you who gave this story a chance. It didn't get quite as popular as I had hoped but I understand, maybe it's not the genre or story line people are interested in or maybe there's just a lot less Ongniel fans reading Ongniel fics anymore. Maybe you all moved onto Onghwang and 2park. Thank you so much to those readers who stuck through to the very end, especially to those who have messaged me or commented me about it. It meant a lot to me and gave me a lot of inspiration to finish this story ratehr quickly and make it extra emotional, hot, fluffy, or funny for you all. I enjoyed writing it a lot and I'm going to miss it, especially Ong who I grew very attached to.
> 
> Just so you know, Ong is still existing in Seongwoo. He didn't die or get reincarnated. They are one person now. Ong gets to have freedom, an identity, a life during the day and night, and he also gets Daniel, the love of his life. In the end, Daniel didn't have to choose and neither Seongwoo nor Ong had to give him up. They ended up sharing their body and their boyfriend. Daniel really hit the jackpot and can't ask for anything more, he gets the best of both worlds in the end, and he gets to be with them both every day.
> 
> See you again in future stories! There are stories that are new or ongoing so I hope that you will follow them and continue to support my writing! Because I might be slower and have less to read than before but I'm certainly not quitting just yet.
> 
> Love you guys! Come visit me in other stories or on twitter! If you like my stories recommend to your friends and followers~
> 
> *hugs *kisses *squeals
> 
> <3 Raina

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to probably the shortest Ongniel fic I'm ever going to make. Also possibly one of the most interesting and complicated. I hope you enjoy the mystery and supernatural elements. I'm also curious to see which version of Ong you will like more. They both are quite complex and there's lots to love!


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